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Aeternabilis

Aeternabilis

Lv14
2019-02-01 入りましたGlobal
-d

ライティング

1.5kh

読書の

3637

本を読む

バッジ
10
瞬間
1108
  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilisa month ago
    コメント

    Yeah the wide wing playmaker is def some bs hahaha doesn’t make sense either as the opposition coach would be able to easily block him outta the game

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilis2 months ago
    コメント

    Always fun when the author kills there story 😂

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilis3 months ago
    発表

    I don’t like knocking someone’s work they put into the story but for my this was an absolute waste of time and I don’t recommend it personaly. I thought the premise was a good idea that would lead to an interesting plot and interactions with the characters of hazbin and a much more cool Adam. However… all this story essentially is. Is Adam killing everyone in hazbin, no questions asked just goes on a rampage and kills everyone. What is the point? It isn’t a story just a murderous rampage. Yeah this is not for me, I like reading for a story not for this. Gl to the author but not for me ✌️

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilis4 months ago
    に返信 Lucinda_Hacker

    Doesn’t bode well for the story at all if even the title is wrong… it’s the easiest thing to get right haha

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilis4 months ago
    発表

    Very well written for a fan fiction. My main problem with it is the war arc makes little to no sense. He needs to go out and gain experience? Let of steam? This is when he has been training in the jungles for months previously… The other thing I find highly annoying is how the female lead needs to magically equal to the mc. Fine if you did this from the start cause then that’s part of her character. But now we find out she is gonna leach off of the mc being bonded to his soul and get a magical boost from her bloodline that magically appears. The main problem is that instead of the people around him having there own opportunity’s to better themselves they are all literally leaching off of the mc to keep up and provide nothing in kind. Just shows very poor storytelling, hmm maybe that’s not the right word for it. Just lazy writing

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilis6 months ago
    発表

    Very jarring to read. Swaps he’s and she’s pronoun every other sentence it feels like. Throws your mind for a loop and makes it very hard to immerse yourself in the story as you can picture it well with the constant changing. I didn’t get very far so I may be wrong on this front. But it seems like the mc is gonna just follow Tang San. Something I find a bit boring, would be nice for he/she to have some independence

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilisa year ago
    に返信 Poisoncheaker

    It gets to a point it doesn’t make sense. There is this thing called heart of the realm and if it gets absorbed the realm is destroyed. Mc won’t take it away and protect it cause he is afraid of his peaceful life being ruined…. But then if it is absorbed his peaceful life will be over cause the realm he is in is destroyed. He always says he has no strength but then as soon as his disciples need help he instantly kills the enemy. Its like he suddenly becomes self aware then instantly forgets it after. Picking and choosing

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilisa year ago
    コメント

    Honestly thou, what is the point of the mc as this point? Just make the girl the mc. Mc is pathetic compared to her

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilisa year ago
    コメント

    Forgot about the heart thing with that random dude, what missing memories 😂

  • Aeternabilis
    Aeternabilisa year ago
    に返信 SimpleReaderPassin

    Def, with Aomine he hasn’t changed at all just got more stamina. Even thou he started training again where as in the show he hadn’t trained a lot since what the second year of middleschool? Where as Kagami and the rest train for a bit and are suddenly beasts. Would have been cool for aomine to unlock somthing new with him having trained again. Tbf didn’t think they where gonna win anyways cause mc hasn’t faced serin yet