You Are My Favorite Sin

Bara POV

I totally rejected the matchmaking initiated by mother and father. I did not accept being married. I didn't want to get married even though I'm mature enough for marriage.

I've just started my career in a politic world. As a mining entrepreneur and contractor, I wanted to expand in politics, so that it will be easy to get projects in the government. At least my efforts didn't get too many obstacles. I'm going to be a member of the council, aka a member of the House of Representatives.

Mother and Father's conversation about matchmaking made me angry and furious. I was not a child they can manage at will. If I didn't remember the sin of disobedience to my parents, maybe I already mad at them.

City P had just completed simultaneous legislative elections in various cities. I was running as a member of the provincial council representing the younger generation. I promoted myself through celebrities I knew.

I was still anxiously waiting for the election results. Did many choose me? Papa even made me more dizzy with this marriage. I didn't interest in the name of marriage. I didn't want to get married.

"How about it, Bar? Mama and Papa already have a future wife for you. You're old. It's time for you to get married. Mama doesn't want you to be called a man who doesn't sell." My mother opened her voice.

The two of them were scheming to match me up!

"Ma, Pa now there's no matchmaking era. Bara doesn't want to get married. Bara is comfortable alone," I replied, trying to control my emotions.

I was the type of person who can't be forced, if I kept being forced I'll rebel. Once I got hit, I'll repay. There were no words of compromise and negotiation in my life.

"Bar, do you remember. You are 35 years old. Get married to complete your religion. Marrying is the Prophet's sunnah. We are getting older, Bara if you don't get married when will we cradle our grandchildren? Don't let us not have time to carry your child because we are dying," Papa explained the meaning and purpose of matchmaking me.

Mama touched my shoulder gently. Mama's gentle attitude can melt my heart. Mama's sad gaze made me feel sorry for her. If Mama and Papa asked for something else, maybe I could fulfill it. Getting married was a very difficult thing for me to realize. There was no marriage in my life.

I spent my times by having fun. There was no woman in my life. I am gay. I liked men. My desire will rise when I see a hot and handsome man. I've always been tempted to kiss and touch the guy with Korean's type of face. Many women who openly flirt, including my own secretary, Dian.

Dian often wore tight clothes to accentuate her chest to attract my attention. Sometimes Dian was so naughty, she accidentally unbuttoned her shirt before entering my room. She even deliberately bent down to pick up a pen so that I could see her cleavage.

I was never attracted to women because I am gay. I was more eager to see men especially handsome and clean men. I was very careful about choosing a male partner because I didn't want to get sick.

You know that LGBT people wete more susceptible to HIV disease because they often switched partners. No family knew my sexual orientation because I hid it tightly.

I played clean and my gay partner was in J town. As a young, rich entrepreneur, I always spent the weekends in the capital. Friday afternoon I will fly to J town and then Sunday afternoon back to P town.

"Bar if you're agree to marry, we will propose to the woman," said Papa, surprising me.

What a crazy parents who made their own decisions. I have not decided yet to accept this matchmaking but they will already prepare the event.

"Silent means agree, Bar." Papa confirmed what he said.

"Papa I refuse this matchmaking," I said firmly. I didn't think about how my parents feel. For me my happiness was more important than anything.

"Give us a reason why you don't want to get married?" Papa asked with emotion. Papa's eyes looked sharp at me. Felt like he wanted to eat me raw.

"I don't want to get married because I want to focus on the election first. I don't want to be complicated with marriage issues."

"Too many excuses. You can monitor the election to your team. You don't need to take care of trivial things like that." Papa underestimated the election vote count.

For me monitoring vote counts was life and death. It could be that my rivals were playing tricks in faking votes. I indeed the most anti-cheated. Political competition was now so frightening. Justified a variety of ways for a seat on the council. I've been fighting tooth and nail in order to sit in the Regional House of Representatives.

"It can't be that, Pa. If it wasn't me who took to the field straight away I wouldn't be satisfied." I argued with Papa. For an instant, Papa underestimated my decision to become a politician.

I knew that papa never allowed me to go into politics because according to him politics was cruel. Family business was more important than being a politician.

"Bar, you already have a girlfriend, huh?" asked Mama.

I'm sure Mama thought I didn't want to be arranged because I already have a girlfriend.

"Not really Ma. I don't want to commit. Pity my wife who will be seconded. I'm a busy man who spends a lot of time outside."

"Bar, you are our only child. If not you who will continue our descent, then who?" Papa was begging.

"Papa, don't be dramatized. There are times when I get married but not now." I confirmed.

"Bar. You're uncomfortable not getting married at 35? Are you gay?"

I was struck by lightning when I heard Papa's words. Are you gay? I always warned my parents not to ask questions like that. Honestly afraid if my family knew my sexual orientation.

I was their only child and I didn't want to disappoint them. Mama can have a heart attack if she found out I was gay. I knew the risks of being gay apart from being shunned by my family, being hated by society and being ostracized. There were no place for LGBT people, especially since I lived in the very religious city of P.

I tried to cover up my identity as gay. I didn't hesitate to be reckless to anyone who dared to expose my identity.

I gave in and tried to reduce my emotions. I better look for safety first to get rid of Father's thoughts wether if I'm gay or not.

"Okay Dad. If this marriage is your happiness. I agree to marry the woman your choice," I said without hesitation. I saw the happiness in the eyes of my parents.