It’s my first day back at school, but why do I seem to suddenly be in a slice of life parody anime?

"And I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault." I tore a chunk out of the bread I was having for lunch and then glared at Ren. "People here are just crazy."

Ren laughed and unpacked his lunchbox, setting it down on the table. "That's always been the case, Kimura-san. But either way..." He looked at Celes and gave her a thumbs up. "You did a great job, Celes."

Celes blushed and carefully unwrapped her bread. "T-Thank you. But I believe I might have gone a bit overboard..."

It was lunch time.

Maybe the world decided to give me a break for once. After Celes went around setting people in order and asserting her dominance, school went by without issue.

People also gave me personal space for once. And the teachers didn't say anything either!

...Though that was probably because all of them hated being back in school as much as the students did.

I was about 90% certain that most of the teachers at Zenkai Academy were only here because the headmaster either had dirt on them or they were doing it as a favor.

Not to say that the teachers were *bad.* All of them were good at their jobs. World class, even. I remembered a few of the staff members having some accolades like 'solver of the Millennium Problem' or 'Nobel Prize nominee.'

Which made it odd why they were even here... But whatever the case, most teachers didn't like teaching and pretty much ignored everything happening outside of class.

But anyway, morning classes went by without a hitch.

[That's a flag~]

Don't jinx it, Cici.

[Meanie- Wait, Cici?]

Yeah. It's a better name than Sissy, right?

[Wao! You're a good guy after all, Sennie-poo!]

...Just you wait. The moment you get a physical form, I'm going to smack the crap out of you.

[Don't threaten me with a good time~]

Ugh.

I took another bite out of my bread and chewed on it.

We were seated on the rooftop for lunch. Mostly to get away from the stares by everybody else.

It was already my usual hangout area, so nobody followed after us or stopped us.

Not that they would after Ren's sister stormed in one day when she found out the teachers weren't letting us up there.

But anyway, we were seated around the lone circular table up there, with Ren on my left and Celes on my right.

Ren looked at me and said, "Got any plans for how you want to finish out the year, Kimura-san?"

"Only one. Survive." I frowned and rubbed the back of my neck. "I've got a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. Mostly because my life seems to be turning into a manga or something."

Ren laughed and then wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Your life has *always* been a manga, Kimura-san. Haven't you seen the doujins being passed around?"

"Please don't remind me of those." I groaned and covered my face.

[Oh~?]

Stop it.

[But I'm curious! Is it yaoi?]

...

I turned to Celes and then smiled. "How are you enjoying school so far, Celes?"

"E-Eh?" She blinked, caught off guard. But then she laughed and showed me a bright smile. "This academy is quite amusing." She took a bite from her bread and thoughtfully chewed on it. After swallowing, she said, "I would never have thought that such disorder would be allowed. Or that people would dare to raise their hands against me." She laughed again and said, "It was really surprising, but also really refreshing."

Ren pulled back and then opened his lunchbox. After taking out a pair of chopsticks, he looked at Celes and said, "Don't take that as the standard for Japanese schools, Celes. I promise you that other schools are much more normal. It's just..." He ruffled his hair with his left hand and said, "Zenkai Academy is a bit... special."

Celes nodded. "I figured as much. Back at home, such arrogant people would have been disciplined by the instructor and forced to run a hundred laps around the outer perimeter of the campus."

I blinked and then slowly looked at Celes's body, giving it a once over.

Celes was beautiful and she just looked like an ordinary girl. But now that I thought about it, she had quite a bit of muscle definition too, didn't she?

Celes blushed and then looked bashful. "S-Sen..." She fidgeted and looked at Ren. "...Not in public."

[Ohohohoho.]

Stop sounding like an old perv, Cici.

[But she said it's fine!]

And not to you. Honestly, is all you can think about perverted and lewd stuff?

[Yes.]

...

I shook my head and said, "Sorry, Celes. I was just appreciating how you're so strong despite having a thin body."

Celes's eyes widened and then she let out a bright smile. She tugged at her sleeve and said, "I-I *am* a bit stronger than most, I believe... E-Even so!" She looked at me and said, "You are the same! For such a delicate and beautiful man, Sen possesses a great deal of strength!"

"Kuh." I clutched my chest.

[Celes used EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. It was super effective!]

"E-Eh?" Celes looked confused. "D-Did I say something wrong?"

Ren laughed and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "You hear that, Kimura-san? You're a delicate and beautiful man!"

I brushed off Ren's hand and glared at him. "I don't want to hear it, Mister Dense Shounen Protagonist."

Ren smirked and said, "Better a Shounen Protagonist than a Bishounen- Wait." He blinked and said, "What do you mean, dense?"

I gave him a blank look and said, "You're joking. Did you not see the bundle of letters filling your locker when we got back?"

Ren waved his hand and said, "They're just some kouhais with crushes. It's nothing serious."

Celes gave Ren a contemplative look and then said, "So Ren is a scoundrel who steals maidens' hearts and gives false hope?"

Ren started to sweat. "T-That's not really... Um... W-Well..."

"Yeah." I smirked and said, "You really are a jerk, huh? I thought you were just dense, but if you're seriously brushing them off like that..."

Ren cleared his throat and then picked up a piece of baked salmon from his lunchbox to eat. After that, he said, "It can't be helped. I can't see them as anything but kids. Not to mention it's a bit disturbing..."

I scoffed. "This coming from the guy whose sister is completely delusional and a Chinese cultivation otaku?"

Ren shrugged. "It is what it is. Besides... If I'm being honest, none of them are really pretty, Kimura-san. Or my type." He picked up another piece of baked salmon and chewed it, thinking. After swallowing, he said, "If anyone... That Sena woman who was at your house the other day or Celes would be more to my liking."

[Oh my! NTR and genderbender? Threesome?]

Oh shut up you degenerate perv.

[Can't a girl dream?]

Yes. But keep it to yourself. God...

Celes glared at Ren and then grabbed my arm, pulling me close. "No."

Ren laughed and waved his hand. "Relax, Celes. I wouldn't dare get between you and Kimura-san. After all, now I can finally stop being bothered by people asking when I'm going to ask Kimura-san out on a date."

I looked at Ren and said, "Wait, what?! Since when was that a thing?!"

Ren gave me a blank stare and then said, "Now who's the dense one here, Kimura-san?"

I felt my face heat up and said, "I-I knew that people were weird, but what? Why? Who?!"

"Don't worry about it." Ren went back to eating and said, "Finish your food."

Celes nodded and said, "Ren is right. Let us finish our food, Darling."

I sighed. "Fine."

Let's just not think about that. The problem was solved, and people wouldn't bother Ren about it now.

I could have lived without having that be confirmed, but-

Wait.

I looked at Celes and said, "Darling?"

Celes lit up and said, "Yes?"

[Ooh~ She's getting sly.]

"...Never mind."

Celes pouted and then went back to eating her bread.

Hah... Life was going to be hectic from now on, wasn't it?

-VI|IV-

"...And that is how to derive the Pythagorean theorem." The math teacher yawned and then lowered the pointer he was using to tap the chalkboard. "There are more derivations that we can pull out if we treat the sides and angles as trigonometric functions, but this should do for a simple sophomore year."

I stared at the chalkboard diagram with a blank gaze.

[Wow. That's a... uh, very thorough explanation.]

A simple right triangle. Squares drawn on each side with the same length as the matching triangle side. That was the geometric explanation for how it worked by treating everything as areas.

And then there was an entire chalkboard devoted to a long equation deriving from a system of area formulas and hooking into each other with things being crossed off and substituted into each other before reducing down.

I barely followed. And only because I took Calculus before I got cheated by the gods and reincarnated here.

As for my classmates...

Ren was lost.

Celes looked focused... but she also looked like she didn't get it.

And the rest of my classmates were doing their best to avoid eye contact to not get cold-called to answer questions.

Ah, except for the student council president... student order committee leader? That one girl that Celes beat up earlier in the day.

She looked like she understood everything and was taking notes down in a notebook.

The math teacher sighed and then ruffled his light brown hair. "Simpletons." He mumbled and then said, "Why did I bother taking this job again? I solved the P=NP problem. My talents are wasted here..."

An awkward silence filled the air.

And then the bell rang.

The math teacher shook his head and then packed up his things. "Class is over. Go home or to your clubs. I don't care. Just don't forget your homework. I'll send it to your emails later. Anyone who forgets is on call tomorrow."

With those parting words, our math teacher left, almost as if he was running away.

[No. I'm pretty sure he's actually running away. High schoolers are pretty terrifying, you know?]

Yeah, yeah.

The silent classroom burst into activity. About half of the class immediately left, heading to club activities like our math teacher said.

The other half lingered behind, slowly gathering their belongings. It seemed like they were getting ready to leave, but I could sense gazes on me. As if they were waiting for what I was doing first.

I resisted the urge to groan and then packed up my things in my bag. After that, I slung my bag over my shoulder and looked over to Celes.

...Who immediately ran over to me and grabbed my right arm, as if worried about someone else getting there first. Smiling at me, she said, "Where shall we go now, Sen? Home? Club activities?"

Sweat gathered on my brow and I looked at Ren.

Only to see that bastard head off towards the gym.

Dammit, Ren! I thought you said you were going to quit the Karate club and join the go-home club with me!

[Aw. No bromo.]

...

I looked at Celes and played it cool. Fixing up my bangs with my free left hand, I smiled at her and said, "Home, of course. We have our little project, remember? Plus, I want to check up on Sensei."

Celes's eyes lit up. "Right! We should let her know how class went!"

I nodded and then started walking towards the exit.

Celes moved with me, leaning against my right arm as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

[For her, it is. I'm jealous, you know? I want a cute Ojou-sama to treat me that loveydovey!]

Aren't you a girl?

[So? Yuri is good civ.]

...

I felt stares on me and Celes as we walked off.

I also felt a glare towards Celes from that student council president girl, but she didn't do anything else.

Well. Better to beat a quick retreat before people get jealous or start messing with me because I graduated to a Riajuu.

[I think that it'll probably be the first part. And probably because they're jealous of Celes and not you.]

I appreciate the morale boost, but could you stop implying that I'm peak social proof?

[But Sennie-poo! Super Idol's biggest smile is nothing next to you!]

...Are you just an accumulation of memes or something?

[Hey! Memes are culture!]

Sure, sure.

I kept glance at our surroundings as we walked out of the school.

People looked at me and Celes, as expected. But only the students.

The teachers and staff members glanced at us, but quickly looked away as if we didn't matter.

Which we probably didn't considering how important they all seemed to be.

Like that drama teacher there. I was pretty sure I saw the guy on some ads the other day promoting a movie.

And that physics teacher. Wasn't he the guy who just won the Nobel prize for contributions in curing stage 4 cancer through some advanced light particle technology thing? I could have sworn I remembered seeing his face while scrolling through Reddit...

[Wow. Does this mean that you're really the protagonist after all?]

"Sure as hell doesn't feel like it, Cici."

"Hm?" Celes looked at me and tilted her head. "Cici...?"

[No! Not fair! Cici is *my* nickname, Princess! You can't steal it! No! Mine, mine, mine! T_T]

Geez, chill!

I cleared my throat and said, "Nothing, Celes. I just... thought I'd try some nicknames. But as I thought, it doesn't really suit you."

Celes blushed and said, "I think Cici is cute. I-If you wish to call me that..."

"No." I cut her off before she could make System-chan mad and said, "Celes means heavenly, and you're exactly like an angel. Calling you Cici just doesn't fit when you're so lovely."

There. That should do it, right?

Celes's eyes widened and then she smiled. "...Thank you. I love you too, Sen." Her face turned red and she looked away.

I felt my face heat up and looked away too.

[😤 Not fair! You're not supposed to use <Acting> like that!]

S-Shut up! I'm just trying to get us home without triggering any more flags, alright?!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just want to stream as Azura already and forget about this crazy life for a bit. Sheesh.

[😲]

[😍👍]

...I liked you better when you pretended to be an AI.

[❤️]

Hah...