Chapter 13: Pine Needle Tea

The skies over the Santa Ynez valley were shifting in circular patterns of dark blues, grays and violet. The temperature dropped, and mist covered the landscape as a sodden blanket. Seasonal birds abandoned the valley, and the fields and washes were staged in yellows, orange and brown. A pervasive chill overcame Francesca as Chico's truck arrived to Abuela's ranch. The chickens were running loose and Abuela's garden wasn’t properly cut back for winter. Francesca thought how unlike Abuela to let things go unattended.

Abuela appeared at the door, neither acknowledging nor greeting them as they drove up. Placidly and without emotion she turned and entered inside. Chico stopped the truck and turned to Francesca.

“You’ll see what I mean. She’s beginning to forget things. Try to go easy on her.”

Francesca thanked Chico and told him he should go. She was safe now. She entered the home, only to find Abuela in the living room watching television without sound. Francesca approached her cautiously, as to not startle the old woman and knelt and clasped her grandmothers’ hands.

"Abuela, It's me. I’ve returned”

Her grandmother replied in her native tongue and stared at her.

"I'm back. I didn’t know who to turn too, so I came to you. I hate them! I can no longer live in that house”

Abuela’s eyes widened but appeared distant, reflecting ephemeral light from the TV screen.

"Are the Blanco’s mean to you? Did they beat you?” asked Abuela.

“No, but I don't belong there!”

She could not bring herself to tell Abuela about the rape. She relived it every time she thought of it. Changing the subject, she directed her focus to Abuela.

"Chico told me you fell, are you alright?"

"Ha'Na Panai, I am old and dying. My spirit wants to be with my people, but my body will not release it. I have seen the peacemaker in my dreams. He is here from the land of great waters. He says he will reclaim our native lands and restore our ways. The ways of the First People and one heart.”

Listening intently as to not upset Abuela, Francesca questioned further, stifling her disbelief.

“The peacemaker? Where’s he?”

He has taken an island of the fishing birds, La Isla de los Alcatraces, and he speaks of one heart. You, now have two hearts when you chose to live with the whites.” Abuela turned and placed her knurled hand on Francesca’s chest, pressing hard to her heart. “You must decide which heart is true."

"They have empty and selfish hearts. I can't go back. I want to stay here, with you,” she pleaded.

"Child, what did they do to you that causes you so much pain?"

Francesca couldn’t contain her secret any longer. “I was raped!"

“Who did this?” replied Abuela.

"They all did, and Karl stood by and watched. I am so ashamed!” she sobbed.

Abuela remained stoic and let Francesca cry. She rose and shuffled to the kitchen and opened a cupboard that contained her teas and assorted herbal healing potions. Carefully, she removed a mason jar, filled with pine needles and set them on the counter top. She removed a large kettle from the pantry and handed it to Francesca.

"Go to the well and fill this kettle."

Francesca between short sobs asked.

“Why?"

"Do as I asked child, now don't delay!"

Francesca composed herself and moved to the outdoor well. She pumped until the milky brown liquid cleared and then filled the kettle. None of this made any sense to her but she would do as Abuela requested. She entered the house and set the kettle on the old wood stove, then turned to face Abuela.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Francesca.

"Making tea."

" Making tea now? Won’t you help me?” she continued.

"I am helping you."

"But I don't understand,” said Francesca.

"My child. Do you want this child that has been put in your belly?"

"Child? There's no child in me?”

"You must stop this Ha'Na Panai!” Abuela snapped in a scolding tone. “Una mala semilla is in you! This bad seed was planted by evil. I will kill it, but you must trust me. Now, go to your room and put on the night dress, I laid out for you. I will brew the pine needles. Now do as I say!”

Francesca trembled with the thought of an evil seed growing in her. She could hear Abuela in the kitchen at the stove dropping needles into the kettle voicing a low pitch chant. A rife scent of pine emitted from the kitchen and it briefly revived pleasant memories of hikes through the lonesome pines that edged foothills of the Santa Ynez mountains. It gave her courage to go her room, remove her clothes and climb into her old bed. Abuela brought her the steaming tea. It calmed her nerves as she drifted off to sleep. She dreamed.

In her dream she was in an arid evergreen forest. Parched, she drank from a rose-colored stream that tasted of pine syrup and honey. She drank until she couldn't drink anymore. When she was finished a gull appeared and perched on a low branch of a large Ponderosa pine. She listened to the sound of the wind as the gull spoke.

"The spirits of your ancestors have asked me to relieve you of your unwanted child. My appetite is to consume all that is dead or near dead. But, this thing in your belly isn't dead. It is alive.Black Eagle has a better appetite for living things. I do not. Why don’t your people ask him to consume this child?"

Confused, Francesca spoke to the gull.

"How can it be alive when it can neither speak nor breath air on its own.”

The gull without hesitation replied.

“It does not speak because its mother speaks for it. It does not breath because it's mother breaths for it. Is it not true that trees do not speak and yet they are alive? They do not use words. Are they not alive when its mother drops it seed to the ground? They have not spoken yet, but when they grow do not the trees speak if you listen to them. Just because this thing in your belly does not have its voice does not mean it's not alive.”

"I want it out! I don't know it's father."

"I see. said the gull. But is it not also a "sin" in your house of the white father to kill this child? The great father forces me to eat carrion when Black Eagle feast on rabbit and beaver. Only when the eagle eats the freshest meet, he leaves the bones and gristle for my dinner. Now, your people ask me to kill this child! I will only agree if you give me what I want when I ask for it!”

"What do I have that you could ever want?"

"Another life that is dear to you, and you will regret my request.

"I don't care, kill it!"

The gull flew from its perch and landed on her stomach. Its beak pierced her skin shredding muscle and organs. In horror and pain, Francesca fought the bird off with fists and screams. Awakening from her dream, Francesca bolted from the bed. The front door was open, so she ran outside and called out to Abuela. It was still early morning, so possibly Abuela was in the chicken coop. She ran towards the coop and tripped on a rock in the barren garden. She picked herself up and continued her search. Except for the prickly Acacia tree which still had proof of life, one small yellow flower remained on a branch. She focused on the flower, its vibrant yellow was blackening, and a gull landed and perched on the tree. It peered in her direction and screeched, directing her attention to her lower torso. She felt a warm dampness between her legs. She looked down and saw that blood had stained her night shirt and remnants of lifeless tissue was now at her feet. Horrified, she looked back to the Acacia bush. The gull flapped its wings and the remaining Acacia's flower dropped to the ground. The gull took flight from the tree and as it ascended she imagined it screeched.

Dos vidas por uno. Two lives for one!