Part 1: Chapter 1

I had just come home from school as I yelled "Mom I'm home!" My voice echoed through the silent house. I dropped my bookbag on the couch and raced upstairs to tell my mom about my first day of third grade. But when I got up to the top I went to Mom's room to see if she was there. Her air conditioner was still on but no sight of her. I had decided that I was going to call her if I couldn't find her. So, I knocked on the bathroom door. No response. I knocked again. "Mom you there" No reply.

When I opened the door, I felt like I was going to get sick. The sight of my mother in that tub, a hole in her skull and a gun in her hand. It was horrific. I looked away fast and shut the door. Then I just went to her room and locked the door as I stayed on her bed calling 911 crying.

"It's the 911 operator what's your emergency?"

"M-my-Mom-killed-her-herself! P-please-c-come-get-her!" I exclaimed hysterically crying.

"Okay, what's your name sweetheart?" the woman asked me on the other line.

"C-Crystal"

"Okay Crystal, can I call you that?"

"Yeah"

"okay Crystal, in order for me to help you, and you to tell me what happened, I'ma need you to calm down. Listen to me and stay on the phone"

"Okay" I said while wiping my tears.

In about five minutes I heard sirens and the police came into the house to investigate. I explained what happened and they had told me that my mom was on some drugs that made her commit suicide from what they assumed and that I was to live with my dad and sister in a suburban area called West Town.

It was all the way in Chicago, Illinois. Some police officers came with me because I didn't have any other relatives that lived in Indianapolis. I don't know my sister and father all that well because my parents had split when I was eleven months old-according to what my mom told me. He had taken my sister, who is seven years older than me and my mom took custody of me. When we got off the plane and landed in Chicago. The police officer told me that we had to go to the district so another police officer could take me to my dad's house. While I got into this white Honda Civic I asked the male police officer.

"How long will it take to go there?"

He sighed "Look I'm not in the mood for questions. Okay?"

"I'm just asking"  He didn't say anything but then a minute later he responded "It'll take half an hour" As I was looking out the window seeing a clear blue sky with not a single cloud and sun beaming to the left of the car.

"That's all I wanted to know" I said before turning my attention back out the window counting the cop cars lined up in front of the Chicago police station. When I arrived at the house via a police officer car with my bag of clothes and belongings, I knocked on the door. This tall girl with a baby on her hip answered "Hey Crystal, long time no see. This is your niece Fatima, come in"

"I barely recognized you." I came in with my stuff and I was greeted by my father, who both brought me into a hug eventually crying. All day was blissful.

It has almost been a month since my mom passed. Things aren't getting easier. I just wish I could've helped her through whatever she was going through.... was it me who caused it? I had just got out of the shower when I heard these men talking to daddy. They said something about $300. It puzzled me but I put on one of Mama's old shirts and my pink princess panties then went to my room. I shuffled in my bed and just hugged my knees up to my chest as I smelled the shirt...it still had her scent. It made me cry.

I wish she was here to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I wish she was here to whisper to me a lullaby before I fell asleep. But she can't because she is gone. God why did she do that? Why did you have to take her away from me? You aren't the god I thought you were. I cried myself to sleep unconsciously. The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. I brushed my teeth then raced down the stairs to see who was cooking. It was Amber. She had cooked for Dad and I. Amber lived in her own house so she rarely comes over. "Your plate is on the dining room table." She said to me.

"Thank you"

"No prob. Is Dad up?"

"Not yet" I answered as I sat down at the table. The breakfast was delicious.

"Go get dressed so I can take you to school" Dad said to me when he came downstairs. I replied with an okay after I had thrown my paper plate away. I had been going to this school for three and a half weeks and I have made two friends.

Although I got picked on a little it didn't bother me because I knew how to fight. Mama taught me how to defend myself ever since I was six. Staying with Dad and Amber wasn't so bad. I grew to like it. We never had the ideal mansion-like house because dad gave us five dollars every Saturday. But it was enough to put a smile on my face. Dad would take Amber and I anywhere we wanted. Disney, Hershey park, Dorney Park, you name it we went there. For my tenth birthday Dad took me to Disneyland to see Belle. She was my favorite Disney princess. Also, dad used to give me a dollar to go to the penny store to buy candy.

I've become comfortable with the living arrangements now that I've been living with Dad for five years. Amber moved out of the house with her daughter and moved in with her boyfriend Rob. Things were great but what puzzled me was when every Friday there were guys who would come to talk to dad and on that day, he would tell me to go to my room. If I questioned him he would pop me in my mouth so to avoid that, I would do as he said.

    One night something changed and the men came over but it wasn't Friday. There was a loud knock on the door. I could sense the fear in his face as he whispered to me "Baby girl I'ma need you to go to my room and hide in my closet."

"What. why?"

"Just-please-I love you Baby girl" he said then kissed my forehead as if it was going to be the last thing he did. I started crying and asked "Daddy what's going on?" Before he got to answer there was a louder bang on the door and a guy yelled "Open this fucking door!"

"Go now baby" Dad said in fright as a glimpse of sweat went down his face. I quickly ran upstairs to his room and locked the door. I started crying harder and I tried to keep quiet as I listened to what was going on. I didn't really hear much but the last thing I heard was three gunshots. A flashback of seeing my Mom in the bathroom came to my mind.

I started to panic as the ringing came to my ears for a few seconds.

"Find the girl" one of the guys ordered another. I suddenly heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. I covered my mouth as the guy tried the knob and yelled "She's in here!" he started to kick the door to break it open. When he did he started searching around. My heart was racing I didn't know how to react. I was scared and panicky at the same time. I was trying to keep quiet until he opened the door of the closet and tried to grab me. I tried kicking and screaming even biting his hand nothing worked he was too strong. He brought me downstairs.

I kept yelling for him to let me go but he didn't. I glanced and saw my dad on the floor.... dead. I yelled "No! Daddy!" One of the guys put duct tape over my mouth to keep me from yelling. When they got me into a red SUV one of the guys that had a strong Spanish accent said "Now that you Mami and Papi are gone it's time for you to know the reason they died. The boss told me personally to tell you since it was  doing." I couldn't say anything because I was in between these other two men. I was scared out of my mind.

The guy who was driving continued "I'm not the one to handle you Mamita. We just were ordered to drop you off somewhere. Let me shed a little light on your life and the lies you were told all your life. You Mami didn't commit suicide five years ago. Are you wondering why Mama never came home for days? And do you wonder why Papi had so much money? Well here is a reality check. That money wasn't theirs. You were a spoiled little brat because they stole from our boss. Now you have to pay their debt because you are the Mafia's daughter now."

That shocked the hell out of me. I didn't know any of this. Why did they keep this a secret from me? Why did they have to kill my parents? Why do I have to pay their debt? I started crying hysterically as we drove to this unknown place. I didn't know if I was going to see the light of day again.

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