THE god CHILD

I am drifting in nothing, it is serene, I am content. It has been like this since that day, since I was let go. I have no purpose, I long for one, no matter how many I crush, no matter how many I pull apart. I am nothing, I am chaos, no I am peace. They shine through the emptiness, their rays touch me, yet I feel nothing, they live for long, but I watch them die. Under there own weight they collapse, they explode, it is beauty, yet I am nothing, and sometimes they become a swirling pool of nothing, eating everything they come across, they grow. Yet I am the same, from inception, I have been nothing, I have been destruction, pulling and pushing, yet I have been serene, creating beauty when they explode.

The ones that don't shine, the ones that follow the tide of the shine are nice, they have a surface I walk on, it is the same as all the rest, I feel nothing, but it is better than nothing. They dwarf me, make me know I am small, but I am strong. I want beauty, I get beauty, I want the empty consuming tide, I get it. With a waver of my hands I turn them to nothing, to tide, or to beauty.

This one is different though, caught in the tide of yellow shine, the green emanates with the white, leaving myself I see it in its truest colors. A blue giant in the emptiness, it is the first of its kind that I have seen, the first I will have touched. I get closer and I shine, the closer I get, the brighter I shine, but soon it is over. It is different, I cannot quite move as I please, as I am used to, I feel something around me, something new. I have felt its components before, but together I have never experienced them, yet I feel nothing.

I walk on the green, marvel at the white that pushes and pulls, the light blue inside is vibrant, it has a will to move, to carry on. I watch the blue in the white until the shine grows dim and the white pulls closer, higher. The white touches me, I feel something new. It moves around me, it doesn't mind my presence, it takes the shape of anything without discrimination. I am nothing to it, before it, I want to dwarf it. I lift my hands but a shine arises, one, two, three, many, too many, I do not wish to count. They are behind my focus, but, my existence sees it still.

I go high to see it low, to see it below me. I watch them run, hide, lose their dark blue to the red, the dark red. They turn grey, they lose what they were. They run from the towering red that takes their blue and turns it to grey with there fast and repetitive shines. I lower myself on top of the red, I stand on it. I feel nothing, it is empty, unnatural. As I stand atop it I want beauty, so I pull it apart, It shines bright, but there was blue inside, it turns to red a lighter one, then to grey. It moves no longer, it wills no longer, it is gone, I took its will, yet I am nothing.

I walk to the blue that hides, that shields itself, but it runs from me. I am confused, so I pull it to me, it is feeble, it breaks into many parts, it turns grey, yet red seeps from inside it. One approaches me, light red yet turning grey.

"What... what are you!" It wills something new, I hear. "Why...!"

It pulls the blue, now grey pieces close to itself, it wills gibberish, nothing notable, understandable.

"My child... my child... why... why...." It rocks back and forth as from its upper half it loses the red, it turns blue, then it turns grey, it moves no more.

I walk through the maze, it is a cluster of towering grey masses, do they will no more? I cannot tell, I see blue inside, they hide, yet they watch me as I pass, as if a spectacle. I walk admiring them, they are grey yet I see through them, I see the grey behind them, then I see shine, a different one. As I move, it moves, it is white, glowing. I wonder so long the shine returns, and with it blue soars across the sky. I hear them, I didn't before, but I hear them, melodies and songs, yet I do not feel. I walk, I wonder, I see a sea of green, I enter.

I see blue, a dark one, the one that willed sound. I approach, yet it does not move, it wills, but it is still. I pull closer, I hear it, the struggle to push and pull what flows around us, it intrigues me. I try to touch it but from somewhere deep within I am warned, I should not touch, so I do not.

I sit in front of the blue and admire it, it wills, yet it is still, but the grey does not come.

The battle had been a long one, and after three days, we had some semblance of a victory. I had been forced out of the city as a decoy, and through some stroke of luck I had managed to lose the imperialists in the forest, but the worst wasn't behind me. I awoke to a beaming light, a warm comforting one, one I had never experienced before, maybe I had died, I was content either way. I'd get to see them again after all, I'd get to apologies.

I opened my eyes to see a humanoid figure, woman like. It had no clothes on, but none of it's features were visible, like a statue being sculpted, yet somehow, I could see it's beauty. It was shrouded in light, beautiful, warm light, but it was kind of blinding. I thought it my angel but what would I say, maybe the light.

"Ummm... its nice and all... but could the light be less...?" I awaited devine retribution, what was I thinking.

The blue moves, it goggles at me, marvels like the rest. It sits in aww for a while, but it doesn't seem to care. It speaks to me, I hear it, I understand. My shine is too much for it, so should I tone it down for you. I look around myself and see the shine I have always known, the shine that has always been with me. I will it so, and so it disappears seeping into me, yet I am nothing, it who was with me for every spark and dim is gone, and yet I am nothing, I feel nothing.

"Thanks...?" I reluctantly stood up, keeping my hand near my pistol I kept an eye on it.

"So what are you?" I make distance between us, I may have been amazed when I first saw it, but now that I was back to my senses, I made the right choice.

What am I? I am... I am... nothing. Why do you ask. I look at you, and I know not what you are either, what are you? I pull close to you, but you step back, why is this, what is your concern. I see the red slowly take your blue, what is your will, what will you will done. I pull even closer, I want nothing of you, I want you a swirling tide of nothing. I see from behind you a will less grey mass emerges, it slowly becomes red. It moves closer to my focus, it blocks my focus.

Then it shines, over and over, it shines. I see red coming from it, but I wish it not to touch me, so it does not. The red returns to grey and falls wider than it was, shorter than it was. I watch you stagger to the ground, why, I do not know. I pull closer, closer yet again, you rush back, far back.

"S-stay away from me! What are you... one of their weapons!" I shuffled my way back from the thing as fast as I could, yet it pulled closer.

I didn't know what I was dealing with, so I opted to kill it instead. I was wrong to assume the ancient weapons we had managed our hands upon capable of killing such a thing, such a creature. I was ready to die, but not like that, not to the unknown, I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, not a fist fight in the middle of a bush. It came close, unnaturally close, so close I thought it'd touch me, yet it didn't. It just stared tilting its head from one side to the other. I waited for it, whatever it was, but it only stared, then it was gone.

I am watching it, waiting for its next move, its deep red has turned to a light one. I cannot escape its gaze, so I will myself gone, out of its view, like the shine at the white. It seems confused, it scurries around looking for me, for something. I am here, above you, I can not touch you, but I will stay close, what are you?