16. Livin' On A Prayer.

My new assignment started, and first, Adam and I practiced for another week. Now, I was wearing slightly different clothes depending on where the victim was. If I had to kill during the day, I would dress very modestly and without color. I did my job. Damon was on gigs; he wasn't there all the time, and these were just a small list of victims.

There was variation. There were women, men, and some I actually had to kill during the day. Well, for example, I could fake a woman when I was modestly dressed, almost pretending to be a junkie again and offering information about myself, the crazy woman they were looking for.

They never saw who I was. Adam took care of that with the help of the pack magic, and I learned the same trick; I learned to use the pack magic to disguise my appearance. So no one could see my real face. And I killed my victims coldly, efficiently, without emotion. 

I didn't talk to anybody, and after that week, Adam said: "You're getting pretty good at it. You're a natural. As you can see, the gun-handling skills come in handy."

I said, "Yeah, except I'd use a Beretta, not just a Glock."

Adam said, "Your Beretta is small. I'll look at some larger models of it in the meantime, and if I can find a Beretta with a decent caliber and enough power, that's fine. But you should ask Bran for your first list soon. I'm happy now and can leave you to fend for yourself with confidence." 

I nodded and went back to the first thing I always do, which is clean my guns and reload them for the next night.

Adam taught me this and said, "Whatever happens, this won't take so much time. You won't always have time to do this. Make it a habit for yourself, a permanent habit, and don't slip up. Don't think you have time; just always do this first."

So I made it a habit. I imprinted it on my mind. 

Mimosa still thought at first that this was an impersonal way of killing. Still, when I let her feel how we were stalking the victim, luring him into the trap and how we were killing him, Mimosa began to calm down, to actually like this activity, and that again brought more peace, and the job became even better.

I was at home, and as the full moon was approaching, I was restless and missed Damon. I had now learned that it was on the full moon that I missed him the most. Then, I saw a car pull into the driveway. Damon. 

I decided to be rather surprising and surprise him. When Damon got out of the car, I was at the door. The wind brought the scent of passionfruit, and I knew Damon wasn't in a bad mood, so I ran to meet him, jumped into his arms, grabbed him by the head, and kissed him eagerly and passionately.

Damon stiffened for a moment and then kissed me back, wrapping his arms around me and letting them get lost under my clothes.

Then he broke away from the kiss, looked at me, and smiled and said, "You must have missed me, darling."

I said, "Yep, the full moon is coming, and that's when I miss you the most."

Damon put me down when he noticed Bran was at the door.

Bran said to me, "Come into my study when you're ready, little girl, and we'll go over a few more things." 

I nodded, and Damon and I went inside. 

Damon said, "Go see what Bran wants, and I'll go cook. Then you'll eat right away."

Damon kept his hands on my ribs, feeling how skinny I was.

I said, "Okay, I'll eat. "

I walked into Bran's study and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Bran said.

I opened the door and went in. Bran always had a massive oak desk with a laptop, several phones, and some folders, and in the study was a bookcase with more folders, and I knew there was information about the other packs.

Bran said, "Sit down, please, and let's have a chat. Then we can go and have dinner."

I said, "Yeah, Damon went to cook. I guess my ribs were feeling a bit too sharp."

Bran looked at me seriously." Are you sure you want to do this? It might not be for everyone. I know you've killed a week, but do you want to continue? Do you see yourself doing this for longer?"

I nodded.

I had just found my career. Amazingly, I liked killing, but only the ones I was meant to kill; I wasn't a homicidal mad shooter, but so far, no one had suspected me after a few gigs.

 Bran continued, "OK, I'll give you a bigger list now and look it over with Adam. You should almost get some transport for yourself. I don't know about a car because it takes time to get a license, and you have to learn the rules of the road. Still, maybe a motorbike would be a handy tool."

 I thought for a moment and said, "Yeah, it could work. I'll have to ask Adam and go through the necessary training, but I want to keep killing; I'll just clear the rubbish out of the way. I'll make sure no one goes through what I went through."

Bran nodded and said, "Good, there's a list for you. Do it, and then we'll look into it."

I sat in the chair and asked, "Did you have anything else to say?"

 Bran said: "I know you and Damon are doing well, and it's wonderful that you are getting love and new experiences, but remember, my dear girl, you don't fully trust even Damon. We are all more or less manipulated to temptation, and oh dear girl, when the world is full of temptations for us men."

He stapled his fingers and talked calmly, contemplative.

"No matter how wonderful and perfect Damon is with you, he is a man. An old creature used to getting what he wants and moving on. If you ever get close enough to Damon to go all the way, be prepared, little girl, that he might forget about you and move on to the next conquest. I say this purely from my own experience. Overconfidence is a bad thing. There's strength in a pack, but love, that, it's a definite weakness."

I was silent for a moment and said, "Yeah, thanks for the warning, but I'm not going all the way yet, and really, me and Damon are doing fine. Love, well, I don't know if it's a weakness, but I'll do my job and not sigh for Salvatore with eyes full of heart pictures."

I thought for a while about this rather odd warning from Bran. 

He said to me. "Weakness is one thing life has taught me almost from the beginning. Don't show weakness. Don't look for weakness in yourself. Emotions and blind confidence are weaknesses. Weakness can even be a relationship. Even a mate, but try to remember that You are the best person to help yourself. You are the one you can trust."

His voice was calm, like the teacher, and he looked me in the eye. 

"l know you want to feel safe and loved, but little girl, the world is cruel, full of cruel creatures, and even crueler fates, so it's not always possible to get what you want and you want to protect others. That's an excellent motive to keep in mind. To always consider the interests of the majority, and sometimes that requires tough choices, just to warn you about the future."

I nodded and said, "Yes, yes, I understand I can't live and be safe. The world doesn't work that way, and I need to learn to toughen myself up and put others before myself."

 Bran said, "That's all; just remember this, little girl, and good luck with your list; those are terrible guys."

 I got up and headed towards the kitchen to watch Damon cook; it was a pleasure to watch; he was like an octopus, fast, efficient, and seemed to be in every place at once.

I watched Damon as he cooked; again, I thought nothing of it but admired his precise working methods, speed, precision, and the sheer instinct with which he prepared his food. I know how to cook, but this octopus was such a stunning revelation.

Salvatore. That guy is so aghh. Handsome, nice, fucking dangerous, seductive, and a damn good kisser. Ever since Adam kissed me a couple of times at a party and once in an alley, Damon has made sure he's the only one kissing me. And we kiss a lot, publicly and passionately.

Well, I mean, I've never had any kind of kissing experience, but the feeling that guy gives me. It goes all the way to my pussy and makes me wet, but I control myself. Even though it's hard, and I don't know if it's a sign of sexual maturity as a werewolf or what...

Well, as a member of the pack, I try to keep a decent distance now and then but fuck, it's hard. Fortunately, we haven't showered together since, and I guess that experience taught Damon that I can do something, too. I had a surprise in mind for him somewhere in between, which I thought I'd try to do.

 I was determined to be brave and take a step forward in our relationship. Not that I was ready to go all the way yet, but sometimes, this was just a little smaller step, but it sure would be pretty damn impactful on Damon, too.

Damon had been wanting to eat my femoral artery for some time, and I had managed to stop him from getting to El Dorado even though he was so close. Eating from the femoral artery was hot, no big deal.

But I thought I'd do the job for Damon first, as long as I could find the right moment. Because when I do, that moment will surely give the Lord permission to return the favor, and I remember what he accomplished with one finger inside me.

But He protects, owns, and loves me, as strange as it may seem, and I'm crazy about Him, even as I try to control myself. Not to show how crazy I am about him. He feeds me and keeps me next to him at night. I don't need any drugs if Damon is next to me, although I do hang on to him, but no drugs.

The only problem is that he drools in his sleep, and I always try to hope that I don't wake up with my hair or face drooling when we fall asleep together. And we always have a moment together before we sleep. It's a lovely time, then. I'm pretty damn excited after that, though, and it's a wonder I fall asleep so well. But he's my security.

For example, now I may not run a full moon on my own, but when I have a big shiny jet black wolf with me, with one white spot on his shoulder, right where I have jet black on mine. Mimosa doesn't mind being protected by Damon or Smoke. She doesn't worship Damon quite as much as I do, but yes, Mimosa's feelings are very warm towards Damon. We are each other's biological halves.

Damon told me once: "You know what that means, baby, and what we're going to do. It's going to be something that I've never experienced either because I've never had a person complete me like you do."

Then he walked away. And that phrase. It made me feel funny again. Damon's hands are wild. When we kiss, and we kiss a lot, his hands always find their way onto my bare skin, my breasts, my stomach, and the back of my ribs. My nipples are not off-limits. He strokes, touches, even scratches lightly, and it gets me pretty damn wild.

 I've managed to keep my legs together, but it's getting a bit tricky. And why I keep them together. Because I'm not ready yet, it could become a weakness for me. Bran hasn't taught me much per se, but when he has taught me something, he always remembers to point out the weakness.

I need to be strong. Not be weak. I tried to get that through my head from the beginning because it made sense. I am a very dominant character nowadays, which gives me the confidence to act. To stay strong.

I can't hang on to Damon. Imagine that our lives are going to be perfect, that we're just going to lie on the couch in his lap. We'd get a house together. We'd always be together. No, Damon has his gigs, and sometimes they can keep him away from me for months, so I just have to remember to be able to cope without him. It doesn't stop me from enjoying when we're together, but the realities.

Which is exactly why I had to find something to do for myself. I get a purpose—something to do and maybe some money of my own. Adam and Bran always talk about money in the pack, about what you need money for and what you can't afford. Just because Adam has money, and lots of it, doesn't mean he doesn't have to choose what to spend it on. The same goes for Bran. 

It's not a future I'm looking forward to. Again, I would have to make choices about what to take and what not to take because I have done enough in my life already. Now is the time to save money.

I had been learning to shoot for a while and shoot well. If I don't wear make-up, I can be very modest looking, and when I was still dressing vaguely, gigs were easy, but I knew there was one guy who could give me what I wanted: money-making gigs. Reddington.

Adam had told me about this and said this would be the ally they needed, and that had been one of the reasons they'd taught me to shoot in the first place, so I was ready.

I've been hearing rumors about him for a while now, so I did some research. Bran gave me this list to kill off, and if I do this gig right, I should get Reddington's attention for myself, and then I could see if we could be useful to each other.

Damon looked at me when he realized I'd arrived, or maybe he heard my thoughts. At least partly because he's telepathic, but I don't know how strong he is, and if he really is, or if it's just his ability to use his telepathy.

He said, "What's on your mind? What did Bran want?" 

I said, "He gave me the list to get Reddington's attention."

Damon grunted and said, "Was there anything else?" 

I said," He said it might be a good idea for me to learn how to ride a motorbike when it takes more time to learn the car and the rules of the road,"

Damon said, "Maybe so; you'd probably be pretty sexy on a motorbike."

He started setting the table. Adam, Samuel, and Bran started coming over, and we went to eat. I was thinking about my upcoming gigs and was excited about them.