Déjà Vu

Déjà Vu, the feeling that you have already seen something that is happening around you. My life was full of it, to the point of me being sent to a mental illness clinic. Ever since I was a kid I kept getting those weird dreams, feeling like days kept repeating themselves. No one would listen to me, like who would listen to a child. They always laughed it off as it being a game, but when this kept up as I had gotten older, my parents started to worry, and in the end I was sent to that damned clinic. I didn't end up staying there for a long time, afterall, I wasn't insane.

Today is the day that I leave this place.

"Come on. Time to go home."

Finally, I was getting tired of waiting. Tired of all these people pretending they are my friends, all while they glance at me like I'm delusional.

My steps echoed in the cold, empty halls of this clinic. Two people, that's how many are needed to take a man outside. Not like I can't walk on my own, but like I said, they think I'm delusional.

"Son..."

Great, just who I wanted to meet. The ones who banished me in this hell of a place. Right now, they are the last ones I want to see.

"Come now. We're going home now."

Now they pretend that nothing happened. I can somehow see where this is coming from. From their point of view, all they did was helping me, but they choose the worst way possible to do this.

I slowly get in the car. Looks like it's the same old car that I know since I was a kid. How many memories, road trips, going to visit my grandparents, or even simply coming home from school. Memories...

"Finally, it's time to be reunited as a family", a kind smile appeared on mother's face.

I stood there, silent as the night, not even looking her in the eyes. A part of me wants to forgive them, but the other part wants the opposite.

"Look, Akira, I know that you didn't like what we did, but it was for your own good, we cou..."

I suddenly burst out screaming, all my anger and frustration taking control over me.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW! YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT I FELT! KNOWING THAT NO ONE BELIEVED ME, EVEN IF...even if I was just...just..."

Anger and frustration, both of them turned into sadness. Tears started running down my face. It was my first time crying, after all this time.

From then on, it was a silent ride until home, and even there, I barely exchanged any words with my parents.

I kept thinking about what happened to me when I was younger. The days repeating themselves, me knowing exactly what was going to happen.

It's been a long time since that had happened. Maybe I was insane, maybe I was really the problem. No, I can't think like that. I'm the only one I can believe in, the only one who knows.

I needed to go out, on a walk, just to organise my thoughts. I slowly came out of my room. Both my parents where sitting in the living room, on the couch.

"I'm going out. I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"Akira, I don't..."

Dad interrupted her, silently looking at her, the look in his eyes telling her that it's ok.

"Finally, some time alone. I can think about everything."

I started walking around the neighbourhood. Not a lot has changed during my absence. The same old boring buildings. The streets are empty, pretty much because it's night time.

"Think, Akira, think. Did "that" really happen? I am sure about it... am I? Yes, of course. Even if no one believes me, I believe myself, right. Damn, I think I am going crazy right now."

All of a sudden I felt dizzy. I tried to brush it off, but my body knew this feeling. Always, but always when "that" happened, I would feel this. Everything just went black and I woke up back, just like the world decided to load a save point. Before I knew it, I was back in my room.

"It can't be...NOW, OUT OF ALL TIMES!? Why, just why... a few years had passed since the last time, but why now? I need answers..."