Downward Spiral

"Good morning Your Majesty!" Bridget spoke as she enters the room, closing the door behind her.

Diviya's heart almost jumped out of her chest as she was engrossed in her thoughts, also she honestly did not know what was good about this particular morning given the state of her mind.

And she did not quite catch on to the way Bridget addressed her.

On noticing Diviya was not ready for her day yet, she quickly rushed to Diviya's side, "hey are you ok?" Bridget asks all concerned.

Diviya had sat up after her little shock and she says while Bridget reaches out and touches her forehead. " I am fine."

Bridget was not convinced, Diviya looks troubled and lost, Bridget wanted to know what was wrong.

"You sure?" Bridget asks now sitting on the bed next to Diviya and lifting an eyebrow as she slightly leans towards Diviya.

Diviya exhales loudly like she was exasperated, but she just wanted to try and calm these thoughts and clear her head for a brief moment and she says, "I am fine I promise."

She stares at Bridget waiting for her to change the subject and ask why she was not ready so she can simply say that she need some time.

But Bridget was clueless of her plight as she says, "you sure?…you know you can talk to me, I am here for you."

Bridget rattled out, then pause deep in thought for a movement then she says, "is something bothering you?… is something wrong?… did something happened?"

Oh my god Diviya wanted to actually scream. Desperately wanting to get this over with so she can be alone and return to her brooding. She just wanted to be alone to self loathe some more.

Then she wonders why Bridget would not quit with the million questions. Could she sense that something was wrong? Well duh Diviya she was a Vampire.

Though she could not tell exactly what Diviya was going through Bridget could sense somethings were off with the weird vibes Diviya was pushing out.

Her chaotic emotions as well adding to the mix.

Of course that was it, but before Diviya can respond with another lie of how she was doing just fine, a bulb suddenly went off in her head.

Maybe Bridget might just be able to help her and answer some questions, bringing some ease to her racing mind about what she's about to face.

Diviya sighs almost dramatically when she says, "ok..ok you got me." She looks at Bridget now pointedly.

"You would not leave it alone, would you?" Diviya asks rolling her eyes playfully already knowing the answer.

"NoPe." Was all Bridget said popping the P and smiling now that she suspects she might be getting somewhere with Diviya.

At the sight of Diviya, Bridget had known something was of, something was definitely up and the crazy chaotic emotions coming from her was confusing as hell.

She picked up a few, like fear, worry, anxiety and all those were usually a recipe for disaster if left unchecked. In Bridget's experience.

"I was so excited yesterday when I learned that I would be starting training soon, however something is a bit unnerving and unsettling of the unknown… you know." Diviya looks straight at Bridget as she decides to just let out her concerns and hopefully get answers.

"Ok…" Bridget answers slowly observing Diviya.

"It's just that I honestly need more time.. I believe I am just not quite ready yet..plus I have no idea of what to expect when training begins."

Diviya simply cannot believe how excited she was just yesterday when she learned that her training will be starting soon.

Now her mind was playing all these games with her.

Bridget was beginning to understand Diviya's true plight. She was just in need of some information as she felt like she was walking into the unknown.

Unfortunately Bridget would not be much help with what to expect with the training to become Queen.

However as she herself had experienced physical training many times. She would be able to give her insight on that. She hoped that it would at least put her mind somewhat at ease.

Grasping Diviya's hands Bridget explained to Diviya her situation and as far as her knowledge can go.

Leaving Diviya slightly disappointed because she was not too much worried about that as much as she was worried about being Queen. However she was still grateful for all that Bridget was able to tell her.

Though Diviya's anxiety level had reduced, it was just that.

A little reduction, the knowledge of her physical training did not do much to ease her stresses.

So Bridget had offered…"I can maybe schedule a meeting with the expert to have her answer any questions you may have about your training if you like."

Bridget really wanted to help Diviya and put her mind at ease as much as she can. If only she could convince her that it will be ok and that she would get through it.

But Diviya just was not hearing it. She was beginning to dread this situation that she was in.

Will she be judged at these activities? Of course she would, that was the whole point. Can she pass the series of activities? Will she be able to grasp things well?

Oh God no one can help Diviya right now. The comforting words was not doing much.

She had abruptly dismissed Bridget, pleading, telling her she just needed sometime to clear her head and that she will be fine.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to start, she had ask for another day maybe two.

Bridget understood, this must be extremely overwhelming for anybody.

Bridget had said goodbye and left. She had promised to check in later, however Diviya told her she would call if she need anything outside of the usual breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Then Diviya's mind continued it's downward spiral moments later. Though for a brief moment after Bridget had left she tried to shake herself out of it.

Would she be welcomed amongst the people? Would they like her? And the big question was with all these expectations of her was she really capable?

Could she do it and come out the other side successful? Did she have what it takes?

After a few more hours of torment, Diviya had thought long and hard about all those questions and she didn't want to give up yet, not even before she tried.

Diviya get up and pull yourself together, find away to gain the knowledge. If that is what can set you at ease. At least having an idea of what to expect so she can better prepare for the tasks at hand.

Reaching for her phone she googles 'queen of all magical beings'. Nothing.

'What are expected of the Queen of all magical beings'. Nothing.

Well her hype soon fiddles, yet she continues.

Becoming the Queen. She pulled up some history on the human world kings and queens. Back in the 1600s there was a time when kings and queens were a big thing. Diviya had read all she can about it.

She told herself this info may not be as exactly as things would be in this world but she was hoping it was close.

Then suddenly she remembers…

On the tour of the castle, the second day of Diviya's stay here, she got a good look at the massive library this castle holds within its doors.

Where there were books stacked shelves that ran along the walls and also rows and columns of shelves about the expanse from floor to ceiling.

Small tables were placed about with chairs, a sweet cosy couch set she had glanced. Also some cozy love seats about the place as well. It was furnished exquisitely.

Diviya did not stay long in there checking out books or anything as she was not much of a reader except when comes to her studies.

For entertainment or pass time lounging, her go to was to binge watch some sitcom or series on TV.

Never did she thought she would be in such desperate need to see what knowledge about her situation lies behind those massive antique doors.

As she could not find anything on the internet she was desperately wondering now if the library had books on the series of things one would have to go through to be crowned Queen of the Magical beings.

Maybe she can start in the history section.

Finally feeling optimistic with a plan of action she decided to get off her bed, Diviya decided to shower, dress and head to the library.

She needed to be prepared. With her conversation with Bridget seems like she bought herself some time. Maybe a day or even two.

Diviya purposed to use this time wisely. If she was going to do something she will give it her all.