Applying For College

Trails, paved and unpaved, drew me through tall Pine and Ash trees. I could feel them. I could smell them. The sky above their canopy was perfectly clear and still. Not even a breeze rustled the leaves on their sturdy branches. At the end of the trails, the trees opened up to an enormous lawn and a corridor of brick buildings. Each building was unique in structure. Each unique in purpose. My elbows rested on either side of the pamphlet I studied. Structurally, it was perfect. The creative writing program was perfect. Each class pushed future authors to try their hand at creating something in each genre before graduation.

I wanted to go. To learn if there were any technical skills I was missing. To learn if my writing was any good, but….

My father set a hand on my left shoulder breaking my train of thought. "Is that the college, Kathrine?" he asked.

"Yes, Daddy," I replied softly.

"Then submit your application. You know how to contact your mother and me."

I sighed. I opened my laptop. I opened a web browser and typed in the web address for the University of Arts and Sciences. I found the online application form and started to fill it out. I was already really late in getting the application submitted for Fall Term. Maybe they would reject me, make me apply again for Winter Term. That would allow me to delay finding out how unforgiving this move was going to be. Complete rejection would be fine too. No one wanted me around anyway.

I filled out the several page application, giving the essay questions blunt, but honest answers. I electronically signed the application before clicking the submit button. I didn't know how long I would have to wait for a response. Didn't know how long I had to wait to be rejected. I stared at the screen a little longer. If only I could go for the trees. Spend my days among them. They wouldn't reject me. They wouldn't hurt me. My attention shifted to the little chat box that popped up on the bottom right corner of my computer screen.

'Do you have time to answer a few more questions?' Admin183 asked.

'Yes,' I wrote back.

'Describe your process for writing a story.'

'Pick up a pen and notebook and write.'

'How do you develop your characters?'

'They form themselves as the story progresses.'

'What genre would you describe your writing as?'

'A mix of Heroic and Romantic Fantasy.'

'On a scale of 1-10—10 being blow your socks off amazing—where would you rate the quality of your writings?'

'4,' I replied.

'Have you had someone give you feedback on your works? Someone who inspired you to write as you do?'

'No,' I replied. 'No feedback.'

'So you've done everything on your own?'

'I have to. No one wants to associate with a girl who was born with 88 cat tails.' There I said it.

Admin183 didn't respond.

I was still watching for the rejection when Mother entered my room.

"How's it coming, Kathrine?" she asked.

"Fine," I told her. "One of the Administrators had a few more questions for me."

She read over my shoulder. "You weren't born with your tails, Honey."

"Then how did I get them?"

"The how doesn't matter, Sweetheart. They…."

"It does too matter!" I yelled, stopping whatever lie she was about to tell me.

"Don't use that tone with me, Kathrine Burgandy Jensen."

"Then tell me how I got them."

Mom sighed. "When you were born you wouldn't stop crying. We tried getting you to nurse more often. We tried holding you, rocking you, and laying you down propped up with pillows, but nothing changed. You cried less when on your stomach, but the change was minimal. So we had you tested and the doctor gave us a salve to deaden the nerves around the tailbone. We were told to apply the salve twice a day until your crying ceased. So we did. We were desperate. Anything to get you to be quiet, even for a little while. We applied it faithfully for just over a month when your cries finally turned to silence. For the first time in months you slept peacefully through the night. The morning following, we discovered poop covered tails squirming out of every opening of your diaper."

"Then why didn't you have them removed?" I asked, venomously, struggling to contain my tears.

"Because your center of gravity shifted with the appearance of the tails. And the doctors feared that the pain would return, in addition to leaving you handicapped."

"Might have returned," I seethed.

"The risk was high, Kathrine. Your father and I weren't willing to chance it."

"Perhaps you should have."

"…Then you pay to have them removed." She left.

I turned back to the computer screen, not sure what I was hoping to see now that I finally knew how I obtained my cursed tails.

'Are you still there?' Admin183 had written. "Hello?'

'Sorry,' I replied. 'I'm here.'

'Good. Dean Coolier, myself, and a few other staff members would like to have an in person interview with you. How soon could you get out here?'

'I can be out there tomorrow,' I replied since there was no point in staying with my parents pushing me to leave.

'Perfect,' Admin183 wrote back after a moment. 'I've emailed you directions on how to get to the college once you fly into Houston International. As well as a writing prompt I'd like you to complete before your interview.'

'Okay.'

Admin183 signed off.

I closed the chat box. Then I purchased a one way ticket to Houston. I checked my email. I printed off the directions and the instructions for the writing prompt. I picked up the pages and my laptop and started packing. My dad poked his head into my room.

"Kathrine," he said. "Do you have time to talk tomorrow?"

"No, Daddy. I don't."

"Do you have plans tomorrow?" His brow furrowed.

"I'm flying to Houston in the morning."

"By yourself?"

"Yes. I know when I'm not wanted around."

"Kathrine, you are wanted. We just want you to get a good education is all."

I didn't respond, picking up on more of the unspoken, hateful, truths my parents had held in the background this whole time.

"I'm willing to go with you," he said when I didn't pause in my packing. "What's the airline and flight number?"

"Charlie 6113."

Dad stepped out, closing the door behind him.

I cried. I growled. I packed everything I could into a checked bag and whatever I would need in my carry on. Once I had double and triple checked everything, I went to bed and curled into a tight ball. I wrapped my tails around my body. Moved a few to caress my arms until I could fall into a restless sleep.