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Naruto: Reborn With Useless Skills?

*Ahem* Please read the "tags" before you go about the story, Friend! Also the MC goes through a huge character development. The MC is like an insane dick at the start. But he grows. Now the synopsis: Surname Kaneko meaning Golden and Given name Mitsu meaning Light. Ahhh! Such a fitting name.... FITTING NAME MY ASS... But the name holds weight in the land of fire. Hmmm. Why? Well because, it's the name of the Fucking Fire Daimyo aka Otou-chan, my daddy dearest. Huhuhuhu... Yesh! You have guessed it! I was reborn as the fricking prince of fire. It's great right? RIGHT? WROOOOOOONG!!!!!!! Because the idiotic daimyos, don't let their dumb kids learn ninjutsu.... But worry not, yours truly, was lucky to be born as the third prince. Damn! I didn't know the fat lady had 3 children already, no wonder she was... You know what! I will stop right there. I don't want my fate to be the same as that Tora. *shudder* But the biggest issue here is, after I was run over by Scooty-Chan... Yeah! You heard me, Scooty-Chan. Coz, her elder cousin Truck-Kun, was too busy running over some fat NEET, she had to come and give me a ride... and a ride she gave... *Tears* I even got the worst reincarnating official... more like an assistant... Here, I have read about the awesome powers reincarnators get when they reincarnate. While yours truly was stuck with a pussy who can't even authorize a freakin Sharingan.... Well, you know what! It doesn't matter. Just see how I freaking kick ass with the worst list of skills. https://discord.gg/mtQutXpjky ___________________ Note: The name of the FF is a parody itself. And yes, the skills the MC gets are useless on their own. But using the parody of a certain Novel it became something else! Note: The cover and any images in the future are and will be drawn by me. So these belong to me. ___________________ Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters only my OC's and the change of plot

LuminouShadow · アニメ·コミックス
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113 Chs

Are you sure you are a God? 1/2

Chapter 2: Are you sure you are a God? 1/2

Jutsu of the day:

<Bullshit no Jutsu>.

Courtesy of Reincarnation Office

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An office room, Reincarnation Station~

[Jason]

.

"SCooOOOOOOTYYY-CHAN YAMETEEEEEEE….."

I was screaming in pain as this stupid scooter ran over me. Damn my little brother was smothered instantly in front of me. *Sniff*

That bitch.. Next time I see her, I will turn her into scrap metal.

I thought all this while continuing to shout until I heard a few coughs.

*Cough.. Cough*

"Etto~ Jason-san, you shouldn't be feeling any pain right now. So um, can you stop screaming? I am getting an headache." I heard a voice.

And just as the voice said, I didn't feel any more pain. Well, that was embarrassing.

"Ah! Hahaha, sorry dude, I didn't realize it stopped hurting. So, yeah, who the hell are you?" I asked the dude who was too effeminate to be a man. But I can clearly see his Adam's apple, so I didn't make the "trap" mistake. I ain't no rookie, ya know.

*cough*

"Ahem, Jason-san, when you are done being rude. I would like to look over your application."

Ah shit! He can read my mind. Well, doesn't really matter. Now, is the time to get reincarnated with some uber cool powers.

"Alright! God dude, Please reincarnate me to naruto world!" I demanded straight away.

"Please hold your horses, first let me tell you the rules." He said while rubbing is eyebrows. Holy Macaranoi! That shit looks so anime like.

I simply nodded in agreement. Then he started with the rules.

"You shall be reborn in a world of your choice. You will get 1 wish and 5 starting skills. Your wish is limited to my authority. In terms of the skills you can acquire, they are B-Rank and Below.

And before you ask, the B rank here is an universal rank accepted by the Reincarnation office. How we judge it, is our deal.

Lastly, you will be reborn as a baby. There is no shortcut to that.

Now let's hear your wish first."

The hell? What are these rules? Isn't it usually like, the MC gets three wishes and has choices about his birth and timeline?

As if he read my mind, I mean of course he read my mind. Answered me,

"Yes, if you are reincarnated due to The God making a mistake, that would be the case. But in your case, you simple filed an application and was put out of life by Scooty-Chan. So, this is all you get."

Well, call me a monkey's uncle, doesn't this mean I am screwed? No, no, let's not go there for now. I still have 1 wish and can get 5, B rank abilities. So, I calmed myself and told the God dude, that I was ready.

He nodded and asked me for my wish first.

I know that the System can't be part of some skill, as the God usually bestows it himself. So, I knew what my wish should be,

"I want a system that can accompany and support me on my journey.

"Denied!"

"Eh! WHAT?" I was flabbergasted hearing him deny my first wish. I MEAN, IT'S THE MOST BASIC WISH THERE CAN BE!

"Sorry, Jason-san, but gifting systems is beyond my sphere of authority, only the boss of the station can allow it, and frankly, it's only for the big players.

Big players my ass. Just tell me you are some puny God who can't even make a system!

*Cough*

Seeing him coughing and averting his eyes. I knew that I was right.

"Sigh! Then I want to be born with the Rinnegan." I know there are OPier abilities but if this dude can't give me a system, no way in hell will he give me those.

And as if, on cue.

"Denied! I'm sorry, that's beyond my power to grant, "he said, smiling. This dude was more shameless than myself…

"FIne! Give me the Uchiha Bloodline." I still had hope, this is the most basic wish anyone can ask for, it's almost stupid. I swear if…

"Please, hold that thought. Because, I can't grant you this wish either…"

"..." I was speechless. Is this guy for real?

"Hey ladyboy… Are you sure you are a God?" I had to ask, I just had to…

"Ahem! Jason-san, you have consistently been rude to me and-" He was spouting some bullshit.

If he didn't like my rude tone, he would have said that after my first sentence.

"Please stop! Just tell me."

*Cough*

Again with that annoying cough…

"To answer your question, yes, I am a God. Everyone in this station are gods. Even the sweepers and genitors. And to answer your unasked question, the reason why my authority is so low is that I am still an intern in this station

The higher gods deal only with mistaken deaths and grant compensation. While we interns only deal with people who want to live a different life."

Now I get it… So, the reason for my poor treatment is, this guy wasn't even a proper GOD but an intern. [A/N: Yep, he didn't even notice his own mistake.]

It's all this dude's fault. [A/N: No, it's your fault.]

"Sighhh! Fineee, Just tell me the limit of my wish…"

"Yes, certainly. As your chosen world was naruto, your wish limits were changed accordingly. So, you can't wish for a bloodline limit or anything higher. You can ask for more than one affinity, but it needs to be less than three." *Then just say two you f****r.* "You cannot wish for a sage body. And like I said before, you can't ask for a system. And finally, you can't ask for instant mastery of something."

Is this guy for real? So if I don't choose affinities will it mean I might not have any affinity?

And again reading my mind he replied, "No, then your affinities will be chosen by randomizing. And you can gain 0-5 affinities depending on luck."

I didn't like the sound of that honestly, so I asked, "What's the chance to get 0 affinity?"

"Well, everyone is born with some natural affinity, even if it's minuscule. So don't worry too much."

"Phewww! That's good to hear. Alrighty! I wish to have 100 times more chakra than average shinobi in naruto world."

After hearing my wish, the dude was thinking.

I however was praying. Please accept, please accept. I mean, Naruto had a total chakra that was 100 times higher than Kakashi a Jonin, without taking into account his Kyuubi or sage mode. So my request shouldn't be too over the top…

"Please don't be so anxious, Jason-san. But I am afraid I cannot give you 100 times. But before you get dejected, I have good news for you. I checked my authority and it allowed me to give you 69 times more than the average shinobi." [A/N: I don't know anything about this!]

Jason had only one thought. "Is he for real....."

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Second chapter for the day. Fanfics are fun to write ngl.

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