Friday August 11, 2023

Yesterday I moved into my college dorm. I was literally about to shit myself because of how nervous I was, It was my first time being away from home and I was reluctant to leave but I was determined to stay in my dorm. I mean my home isn't far away from my dorm, only 40 minutes away. Earlier that week Mama asked if I was going to move in and come back home with us and I said no because, again I was determined to stay in the dorms. Technically I get to go home every week because I live so close. But the first week of moving in would be different because classes would start on Wednesday 8/16/23 and I wouldn't get to go home until Friday 8/18/23 or maybe Sat because I was unsure. That would mean I would be staying on campus for more than a week. Anyways today I completely moved in. But before that, something else had happened.

Yesterday when I moved in (Thursday 8/10/23), everyone was planning to come with me when I moved in and I was like isn't that going to take up space but I don't think it matter since I packed light and it wasn't like I was going to stay in my dorm every day and especially for a long time (spoiler alert: that isn't true. I stayed in my dorm for a VERY long time). Before we went to move in. We were actually waiting for the G Train to leave band camp so we could leave. His band camp didn't end until 3 pm and Mama called the school and him to come home but that bitch didn't read his message or bother leaving when his band teacher asked if he needed to be anywhere. We were literally about to leave him. Anyways he was... OMG I almost forgot. Before G train came home mama said we were going to a buffet to eat before we moved in. It was Kome the buffet restaurant and I was like will we have enough time? Well anyways I can't remember what she said but she said to me about my outfit and needing to be a little more presentable. So I didn't comprehend what she said and continued doing my own thing. Anyways the G Train arrives and we load up into the car.

Mama is driving the Honda minivan and that reminds me. When I opened up the trunk to see if there was enough room to put everything in, I found this puzzle game. The puzzles where you have to move the pieces around till you get a picture and there's only one place opened. I asked Gor Gor Ghetto if it was stinky fortnight kids and he said yes. Anyways ask Mama was driving the car to Kome, the smell in the Honda is killing me. Baba traded his Toyota a few months ago to get G Train's Audi. And obviously you know that Baba likes to smoke and when we were loading up the car. Baba was like "Maybe we shouldn't use my car was it's 'dirty'". Mama was like why? She knew the answer. Literally when they were over in early June. The Honda didn't smell like that. We went to Kennywood, the movies, the mall. and literally, everywhere when they were over and I have know idea how about 2 months make the car smell like a smoker's lungs. Anyways mama is driving the car and she asks baba why he did this to her car cause technically it is and WAS her car.

Anyways we finally get to Kome and my brain feels like it's about to fall out and is dying. We walk into Kome doing whatever ever and I went to the bathroom but the thing is, I'm wearing that green romper I like so I had to undress myself to go pee. Then after that, I come out and see that mama is walking around the salad bar and I walk beside her and see there are fruits and obviously, I'm about to shit myself, I can only eat oranges and cantaloupe. As I am about to get my fruits (I already grabbed a plate) Baba comes up and tells me one of the workers goes to WVU and that I should try to talk to her. Mama follows me. Mind you, I still have that fucking plate in my hand. We talk to the girl and she tells us that there's a church her boyfriend parks at and mama does all the talking while I listen and nod my head. After that conversation with that girl is over, Mama was like, "why didn't you talk at all?" I was like "Cause there was nothing to add to the conversation."

After I finally get my oranges and cantaloupe, I text Gor Gor Ghetto about how nervous I am and that all day was raining which was a sign. Anyways, the time draws close to 4 pm, my move-in time. I can't eat anything at all. It's difficult to eat anything and I'm struggling to eat the one piece of chicken tender (actually it was a sweet and sour chicken without the sweet and sour sauce on it). Anyways I pull up the map and the map the dorm hall wants us to follow. But it's kinda annoying because every time we put it in, the map and the dorm route are very different so I have to navigate Mama. I'm doing pretty good until I mess up a turn and we miss our exit. Also, this is very important. the road we were on was a multiple-lane road. We missed so we had to make a U-turn by going to a church parking lot and coming out. Then we keep driving and we finally make it to my dorm hall. I go out and do everything we need to and get all the stuff into those red carts they give us. Mama goes to park the car whereas Baba and I push the cart and wait for Mama. Actually, baba pushes the cart somewhere and then follows/ watches where Mama is parking. Then it starts to drizzle and Baba and I push the cart under the canopy and wait for Mama. I see her running with one of Baba's jackets he left in the car, on her head. We move into the dorm and start unpacking.

Unpacking was okay, but I guess was too tired that day so he started sleeping while we were unpacking. Mama told him to sleep on the other bed (I lucky don't have a roommate but I do have other people I have to share a bathroom with) and use the jacket to sleep on. Mama and baba earlier saw the other girl's micro-fridge, which I don't have because mama had just ordered it a few days ago. Anyways, mama and baba tell me normal things that Asian parents usually say to their kids like "Don't leave your stuff out", "they're going to steal your things" and whatnot. We continue unpacking to the point where we're almost done. Anyways, Baba goes and returns the red cart and grabs the boys from the car. Mama earlier gave me plastic spoons in Kome because I forgot to grab some at home. I originally had put them in my pocket and I thought it was in my pocket and when I reached for them, I realized I actually left them in the car. I Facetime Gav and tell him to grab the blue water bottle filled with hot water and the spoons. Gav zooms onto G Train sleeping in the truck with his legs on the seat. They were panting like dogs and crazy. Baba eventually brings the boys up and Mama looks through the peephole and opens the door before they even knock on my door. I asked her how she knew and she it was because of Baba's flip-flops. The boys tour around the area and even got to lay on the other mattress to feel it. But then Mama tells Baba I'm staying here and they get into an argument about me staying here all by myself. Baba was like "You can come home. If the only thing you need to do is Saturday, then come home with us and return Saturday." I was reluctant like I said earlier. But anyways Baba kinda convinced me (not really, I already didn't want to be alone and wanted to come home) so I went home. But before we went home, we had to go to a reception for "surviving move-in day."

I think the mood changed a lot after I said I was coming home. I think mama was secretly happy. Anyways we go to the place where the thing is at. Baba parks the car and Mama and I go in cause there's no way Baba was going to be doing anything. The only reason why we went was because there were "gifts" and when we actually went. The gifts were literally pins, pamphlets, and napkins. We were on the fifth floor (the highest floor in the building) and the view was amazing. We go outside and see that the view is even more beautiful and I tell mama that Baba definitely made a Tik Tok if he saw this view. So mama decides to call baba up and tell him the beautiful view. I tell mama that the parking lot we saw was where we parked and she didn't believe me so I walked all the way to the far end of the patio and look over the railing. I saw the boys coming out and tried to call for them but when I looked down, I got dizzy and forgot I had a fear of heights. Anyways they finally come up and we take family pictures. After we leave the building, mama walks over to the pond where as we were right beside the car. Then I realize that there are geese where she's standing. We walk on the gravel path while looking at the view, G train trying to follow the geese, and the rec center which was right beside us with class windows we were looking at. Baba doesn't follow us and instead stands in the shade. I told everyone that it reminded of me when we went to China and Apo would hide in the sun like a vampire. Anyways, mama notices that baba is smoking and is pissed. She starts throwing rocks at him and he keeps turning his back to us. As mama gets closer, baba smoothers the cigarette. I tell him that the campus is a no-smoking area and he kinda looks scared.

We return back to the car and beside the car is a plot of land with bigger rocks. Mama said what if these were the size of the rocks when I threw them at baba? Anyways baba parked weirdly in the spot. He even hit the curb while turning in. We drive home and the smell of the smoker's car is kill me. I feel nauseous and dizzy. We finally get home and mama orders pizza. Originally we were going to go out and buy more things but I was like I want a bite of the pizza. Mama was like fine whatever. Then when she took the dog out to pee (the dog didn't pee in the house at all that day, gone for 5 hours and recently the doggy has some problems with peeing on the floor cause he's 15). Mama makes a final decision not to cause we believed that we could do the shopping tomorrow bc if we did it today it would be rushed. Plus I believed that we were going back to the dorms Sat 8/12/23.

Afterward, mama adds more tiles to the ceiling to make it pretty (tiles are added to stop the grease from soaking into the ceiling. Then around 11 pm, Mama tells us to help her make boba balls. The first to leave is G train because he claims that he has band camp tomorrow and needs to go to sleep early (we all know he isn't going to sleep early). Then the next is Gav and then it's me left. I keep rolling the balls but I'm exhausted because it was move-in day. It was almost 1 am and I asked Mama if I can go to the doggy and put on his diaper. She says yeah and I go and put the diaper on him but Mama also said she was going to do it by herself, that's why I go and leave. I find the doggy sleeping on his favorite Nike bag. I pick him up and put on the diaper and transport him to the red bed. I lay on the floor to close my eyes cause I'm tired and the dog keeps looking at me. Even when he put his head down. Then Mama calls for me and asked if I fall asleep and I tell her no and tell her about the dog staring at me. I go up to sleep, unexpecting of tomorrow's unfortunate email.

Then in the morning (specifically 8 am), I get an email from someone and it's on my school email. I look at it but don't read it. But of course, I can't sleep around this tell bc my room is filled with sun. I get up and read the email. There's a mandatory floor meeting at 5 pm today. My mind was filled with anxiety and it meant we had to go shopping and get everything we needed to get and leave and allow me to arrive at 5 pm for the meeting. I waited all day (not actually) sitting in nervousness. I sent the email to mama and HIGHLIGHTED the one for today. As I played the waiting game for mama to see the email. I spent all morning looking at my textbooks I need to buy. I needed to do something proactive to keep the negative thoughts at bay. It soothed me to do something bc not doing anything would eat my conscience away. I knew I was the only person who would come back after moving in so my anxiety and guiltiness played a part. Mama finally sees the email and I tell her to pay for my books (I don't have grown-up money :( ), We go on a quick trip to Marshalls to buy some stuff we didn't get to buy the other day ago when we went shopping for my dorm stuff.

We finally get home and the boba mama was already cooked when she was paying for my books, is ready. I frantically get everything prepared and do everything I need to do. Mama continues to make boba. We she actually finishes, we leave. My Dining Plan allows me to have up to 2 combo meals in my 13 swipes of meals per week. (meaning 11 meals from Monday to Friday bc combo meals are a part of the meal (I'm planning to stay for weekends at home, that's why I'm not counting the weekends)). Mama tells me we're going to Chick-fil-a to get 2 combo meals for her. We drive all the way to campus and she drops me off near the building and I go and get her combo meals. When I was standing in line, waiting for my turn (there was someone in front of me already) the restaurant suddenly had their lights turned off. Only Chick-Fil-A had their lights off. The others and I thought it was a power outage, it was because the restaurant closes at 4 pm. I didn't know, but anyways, I continue and get to order. I finally get everything and call mama. She picks me up and we go to my dorm hall. It's still move-in day so there are still cars in front of the dorm. The same police officer from the day before asks mama if we're checking in and mama tells the officer that she's dropping me off. I quickly grab everything, I barely get to say anything to mama expect and a 'goodbye' and 'I love you'. It was too quick that I barely processed it.

I finally moved into my room and there was nothing for me to do except to unpack. While I was unpacking, I noticed that there was something in my white UV protection jacket. It was the ketchup and ranch I was supposed to put in the combo meals. That also reminds me, I check my card to see how many meal swipes I should use (goes from sat to fri, so had to use it up before it expires bc it doesn't roll over to the next week). I find out that the meal swipe I used earlier was only one and it still said that there was one retail meal (combo meal) left in this week. My dining dollars also went down so I guess I can't get 2 of the combo meals at the same time bc it will register as one meal swipe. Anyways, I call mama saying that I forgot to give her the ketchup and the ranch, and go on with my day. Then 5 pm is drawing close. I still haven't even talked to my roommates. I finally gain the courage to talk to them and we go to the lounge area to have a meeting. Had to download Band the app and whatever else they talked about. To be honest, I was planning to email them saying I wasn't going to be there just so I didn't have to go back but I still did anyways.

Anyways, I planned to meet this girl I met at New Student Orientation (NSO) at the cafe beside my dorm but I couldn't find it and she was on a tight schedule because of band practice. I go exploring then I remember how the bookstore near my dorm is where I'm supposed to pick up m book. I remember seeing that store when I was leaving the dorm the day before. I walk in the heat only to see that the store closed and I had to walk all the way back. After I got back to the dorm, Gor Gor Ghetto facetime me to show me his "new" song he was practicing. The song was "Summertime Sadness" by Lana Del Rey. While on facetime, I get a new Microsoft account, just because I'm afraid of the Harrison County one kicking me out. As I continue, I send Gor Gor Ghetto my list for my dorms just in case he forgets anything. I continue doing stuff and then he has to hang up. After a while, I take a shower, jump into my bed and start typing in this diary. TBH, the point of my writing this was to explain how I was feeling but if you read the "Author's note", this is a day later and I can not remember the exact emotions but I can tell you it was an emotion hard to explain. Sadness and nostalgia robbed and the change in the environment was suffocating even though there was nothing here.

Anyways I will tell you what happened after I stopped typing here. I watch some 小红书 (the little red book; Chinese Instagram). I brush my teeth and then suddenly I see a guy. I assumed he was the one from earlier cause I heard a guy's voice while I was Facetiming Gor Gor Ghetto. He freaks the fuck out of me cause I wasn't expecting a guy to go into OUR bathroom. Anyways, I go to sleep and I can hear my roommates talking with that guy. There are fragments of their conversation I hear (bc the walls in here are paper thin). I freak the fuck out cause the fragments of their conversation are scary. The guy says something about hiding in the closet and scaring someone (I think he says "her"). Then I hear one of the girls say "freak the fuck out", "see his dick", and "pee pee". I'm getting nervous bc you know. . . normal people would be afraid of strangers you just met. I text Gor Gor Ghetto and nothing happened thankfully. But anyways, in the "2 Asians and 1 white girl" gc, Freddie sends a picture of QUINN DEMOTTO, the principles son ON TINDER!!!!!!!!!!! I went to his insta and he and his ex? is still on his thing. He's also on her insta but her's is with a bunch of other people and not just them two. Unlike Quinn, his post are of all of them two.

Anyways, that's the end of that store, now time to write the other one. Its literally 9:52 pm as I am writing this. Bye