Disguise

As the time on the vision was over and I came back to being the same as usual, the next few days were less chaotic and full of preparations. My body was stiff from just lying in bed for days and I felt tired after my daily tasks, so I went back to training. And since I don't have a teacher anymore, I had to do it all by myself without a time limit and only one observer.

"How do you feel now, my lady?"

"I'm back to normal I guess, but my body still feels strange. The mind doesn't catch up fast with my moves, and sometimes it makes me think if it is mine or not. It is weird, isn't it."

Ironic. I am complaining about something that isn't mine, to begin with. But this time is different. This time I feel like a stranger and Raphael is not responding even when I try to damage it. This makes me think about my purpose. Was I always a spectator in my own mind? Nightmares, visions, memories. I witnessed it all and observed everything quietly without overlooking any details. And yet, why couldn't I see anything useful this time? Why him and not me?

"Sigh! I have trained enough for today, so let's go inside."

"Do you not feel well?"

"No, I am just not in the mood right now. And I have more important business to take care of."

This must have been one of the longest journeys I have taken on the now so-called "afterlife". Normally it will take me less than three days to go and come back. It's been the usual route for more than eight years to the core of nothingness. Still, with only one intruder, it shook its whole purpose and existence. I felt left out by my own body.

"Spencer, did I give you enough time to collect the information?"

"I would say that it was more than enough. At first, it was difficult to leave the mansion and since all the work was done by the head butler, no one could go out even for personal reasons. The point is that someone's influence got me out unnoticed."

That's great. I won't question him about that person since it is non-of business and because they were actually useful. The problem is which of the tasks I gave him, does he have information for? I gave him two. One was about the collar and if he could find a connection between that and the slave marker. The second one was about Miko and if he could find where he is.

"So, what did you find?"

"The title on the paper is self-explanatory, so I won't have to say anything until you are finished."

"Hm? Are you being serious right now?"

This small folder has only one piece of paper inside. It doesn't have much to unfold, but I suppose it is better than nothing. So, let's see…. hmm… the title is, disguise? Taken by a former designer, now a collector? I don't know how is this going to help me, but if Spencer read it, that means that he found something useful in it.

**This collar is an unfinished piece of one of the actual designs for the ring O and choker, looks like is made out of pure silver that can represent the status and holder's worth. The collar is thin and also doesn't have a ring on it, so party it takes away its meaning. However, it is made of strong material, which is practical. First of all, it is comfortable, doesn't cause any rush on the skin, and what's more important, it's resistant. Now it can be worn as a piece of jewelry by the non-aristocrats…**

"Spencer, what is a ring O?"

"…Well..it's a ring with a circle on top and…umm...ahem! It's a ring that a female slave wears after she finishes her training. Those who have it are obligated to be obedient to any man who buys them, and has to do absolutely anything that he pleases."

"Excuse me?"

So if the collar was designed to its original, I would have been a what? So those who tried to isolate me were not only after the fact that I am a rapha but also because of the collar meaning? No, I am reading too much into it, no one could actually tell if it was for that kind of purpose if it wasn't for the former designer that wrote this letter. Or did they?

"And how is this supposed to help me find a connection between the person who put this on me and the slave market?"

"If you read more, you will get it."

But I don't want to read something related to the hidden meaning of this collar though. I feel sick and disgusted by the thought of that past. I, a rapha feared by everyone was going to be a slave of that sick pleasure. I get goosebumps every time I think about it, and I never see myself in that kind of position. Still…

**Now is worn by non-aristocrat women and men who have great value for their master. Only two have created such a simple design that is far from the original and made it a limited edition. Not only it has the look of a thin ring, but also has the original signature of the creator.**

"Wait. Spencer, can you see a symbol or a signature on the collar?"

"For now, there are only speculations. And even if it has, it's not visible to the eye. If the designer made this collar for that kind of purpose, why would he put his name or signature on it? And they put you this on the slave market, but were you on sale?"

"No, I was not. I was in a cage and sometimes they would get me out to do manual labor. But what does this have to do with anything?"

"For starters. You were not for display and only kept for one purpose, to obey or use your straight as they pleased. The caged beast and working to the bone until they told you to stop were both done to make you a perfect puppet for the one who was going to get you out of your misery. Then so, this collar was not meant for you, but was made specifically for you."

?!…what? He lost me there. I don't understand his point. What does, their wanting to turn me into a puppet, have to do with, the collar being made specifically for me?

"Can you explain it a little more clearly?"

"What I am trying to say is. You were not normal from birth and as a child, you could use your power to break the collar easily if you wanted, but you couldn't, even if you try it now. So, a thin collar like this had to be specifically personalized for someone unhuman by another non-human."

Aha! With a disguise, he meant that the collar was made to look like the normal one when it is actually made for another purpose and for a different human being.

Now I get it, but it doesn't add up. The one who made it was just like me, but it was inconvenient. It can't be another rapha, that's for sure, because why would they create something to chain themselves? That's just stupid. There are only two who might have done this, the emperor or the first prince to another person. Alastair couldn't have done it since he might have been only two or three-year-old when I was born. So, there is only one left, the emperor.

"You know where this leads us, right?"

"Yes, that's a dead end. If it is the emperor, even if he gives you his blessing, you have to do more than just marry the prince. Since the words will come out sooner or later if you are lucky he won't require an audition with both of you. But if you are not, when that time comes, you won't have the opportunity to question or talk to him."

"You are wrong! He is neither unstoppable nor immortal. The emperor is just a mere human like all the others. The only special thing about him is just his eyes, nothing more. No strength, without leadership knowledge whatsoever, and above all, a good-for-nothing human."

"Aren't you scared that someone is going to hear you, especially the duke?"

"Even if they do, what do you think they are going to achieve by calling me a traitor? Sympathy? Would the crowd congratulate them if they punish me? Of course not, after all, I have left the door open for anyone to enter and say that I did something bad, and they all are going to believe it. It is a no-brainer. If they want to accuse a criminal of a crime, they can do that even if it's unfair."

Nothing can scare me more than the future and the sacrifice the shadow said I should take. I don't know what I am going to give away and if it's going to be precious to me. I am scared that one day this body won't respond to me and I can't even protect what I have now.

This power is all I have, without it I am useless. I don't trust anybody to defend me and they don't have any reason to do so, therefore my heart and mind have to work together, but whatever I try to talk with the first prince, he knows what I am about to do, is like he can read my mind. It bothers me. I don't want to lose control.

"Spencer, am I that easy to read?"

"?! ...Where did this question come from? Well, do you mean in my opinion or in general?"

"First, I want your opinion."

"Hmm. Let's see. If I have to be honest, I can read you as a book, you are a terrible liar and have anger issues, but you are also cold as ice. Unpredictable when it comes to people who annoy you and have this bad habit that you don't break eye contact until you crack each of your fingers one by one, using only your thumbs wherever you are about to fight them, and…-"

"All right, all right I get it! Thank you very much."

So am I easy to read, but only from Spencer's viewpoint? If I asked someone else, they would probably say that I look scary, creepy, or crazy. That's kind of flattering, not gonna lie.

"Anyway, what about the boy? Did you find anything about a red hair, blu eyes boy named Miko?"

"That was not specific, you know that?"

"I know, but what are the chances that there will be more than two or three who fit my description? Hmm? That's what I thought. And it wouldn't be bad if you collected them all anyways. Now, did you find anything or not?"

"Well! The boy was last seen in a small city between the north and the capital. There he seems to have applied for a mercenary position but was not approved due to his young age and lack of experience. It seems now he is working for a family of counts and is doing well."

Didn't he hate aristocrats? What made him change his mind so suddenly? Pathetic. Lack of experience and too young he said. More like a bunch of excuses for his inability to fight barehanded. No one cares about those little things.

I never thought of applying to be a mercenary, but if I went there when I was seven, they would have given me my license and then I was going to be ready for work. Still, it makes me happy to know that he is doing just fine on his own.

"So let me ask you a serious question. If I want to meet with someone that is not an aristocrat and without an actual location, where can I meet them?"

"Probably in a large gathering, where all the noble families can attend. If he works for a count family, your friend with be there to serve his master."

"Mhm…and? Spited out!"

"Tch! The hunting competition or the festival before that. Basically, three months from now."

Well, that's better. I can meet him there and sort everything out. He is seventeen right now and since he works for a noble family it means that he has matured while being pushed down by the nobles. I can't wait to see him and…Wait! Did I forget something important? The hunting competition…Hm?

"Did you just say three months?"

"Yes, I did. This year is going to be held on the last day of spring. Which means around the first week of April. Why, is there something wrong?"

"N-no, I just…nevermind!"

I have no problem with the time, but it is still pretty early. Not to mention that I have to think about those two in advance. First, I have to stop fooling around with Alastair and create a safe place where I can benefit later. The other one is Alan who loathes him on sight and who also wants to be close friends with me. But the problem is that Nasya and her friend will also be in the hunting competition and I have an unpleasant experience with both.

The best solution is to confront those two with each of their support, Alastair's or Alan's. And if I have to use force, I can still rely on myself.

'Hmm! This is going to be a lot of fun.'