Madness Incarnate Pt 1.

See now I never thought of myself as anyone of significance I always imagined I would live life as mundane as possible. You know same old same old. Leave college with barely decent grades, Drowning in student debt from my loans, get married to a woman who i lost feelings for in the first week of dating and you know get divorced and you know the whole shazam people nowadays call it the matrix.

I mean part of me wants that the assurance that my life is so balanced and mundane nothing could go wrong like youre literally at the bottom of the barrell it only gets worse through death.

Idk why i started this I dont belive in therapy I mean it works for people but it doesnt work for me I should try it though all though i feel like i would be playing mind games with my therapist.

Doesnt even sound half bad to be honest anyway I wish someone could look into my brain and just tell me what i want I mean i want a multitude of things like a car, so much money i can afford to buy 1/3 of the world and other stuff like that i mean i also want other stuff but like i know that isnt really what i want i want something i just cant place my finger around it.

Also dont get me started on some mind bull shit saying"What you want is a comfortable place to rest and someone to trust" BITCH PLEASE I AM A GOD I AM ABOVE MUNDANE THINGS SUCH AS EMOTIONS

Also that brings me to another point multiple points really aside from the fact that I might be bipolar I clear all the symptoms for it so idk about that we will circle back to it later.

Yes lets go into detail about my crippling God complex. Do I think its a bad think? No Does it affect my life? No will I go full light yagami? Possibly. But basically yea I never got the concept of people saying a god complex is a bad thing I mean if its baseless accusations I mean youre just being plain dumb. ITs kinda like those guys.

Who say they can beat like half the school in a fight if it rally comes down to it but like thats really not possible like you are not taking on 450 students with an Ak47 and a katana ignoring the fact that youd simply run out of stamina after the first 100 or so that leaves about 350 left for you to slaughter and retreat isnt even an option cause youre basically outta gas so you just gotta sit there and have youre ass handed to you.

Trailing back to my point uhmmmmmm i forgot honestly and i kept on typing so yea i remembered so yea uhm the reason I am writng this is not cause of some theraputic bull crap nor is it place to vent my emotions. I honestly dont know the reason i started this to be honest but its like a deep dive into me and my chatioc thoughts.

Later i will update this when i feel like i have something to discuss with random strangers on the internet.

Lieu the Undying