Last Day On Earth

Date: July 12th, 2119

Time: 23:36

Location: Vandenberg Air Force Base, California, USA

Today is the day. The higher ups strongly "suggested" that I keep a journal during my travels. Commanders say it is so I do not forget anything that happens during our mission. Fellow researchers say it is so I can look back and find clues and connections I did not notice at first. The psychologist says it is to help me cope during the mission. I guess they all are good reasons, so might as well stop fighting it. What better time to look back on my life and begin coping than my last day on Earth?

I do not have much to miss here. I definitely won't miss this heat. Yet another record-breaking summer, yet another statewide fire, yet another drought. My grandma would tell me, "oh yes little flower, we had all that, but it was different." I would look at her and ask how it was different when it was still record-breaking heat, fires, and drought. And she would stare off for a moment and think of how to say it. "Well," she would begin, "it was newer I guess. Crops were just starting to be ruined. States and continents were just starting to see more fires. Towns had not yet been swallowed by the rising seas. My generation knew what life was like before the big change, whereas this all you know."

She would look at me with pity, sad that I would never see the Bay Area the way she had when she was a girl. That is where she was born, went to school, met my grandfather, and raised her children- until the sea waters rose so high that her home was swallowed by the bay. I would look at her and wonder who should really pity who? I may not know what life was like before the big change, but at least I'm not missing it. I don't know any different. I mean sure things have changed since I've been alive, but now it's like, "oh remember the good ol' days when we had to wear smoke masks only one season per year instead of three?" It has always been a hot, smoky shit hole to me, and I always knew one day I would leave this place.

That takes me to now. I guess I never really introduced myself to you journal. My bad. My name is Flora Hernandez, and I was born in Tracy, California in 2092 on the farm my grandma had purchased when she moved inland that same year. She had always been an avid gardener, and with each year more famines, storms, and higher temperatures decimated crops. She decided to do what she could to feed us and our community the only way she knew how: growing. Over the years she had acquired quite the collection of heirloom seeds and would teach me which ones grew at what temperatures, how important it was to have diversity, and to naturally modify the crops to grow in our new conditions.

When I really look back she was the reason I became a botanist. I knew I wanted to do my part in this climate fight. I wanted to defy nature with itself and survive. Especially after my grandmother's farm burned down in 2111. I had nothing and no one to go back to. That year had the worst fire the Central Valley had ever seen killing thousands, and that included my entire family while I was away at college. Nobody could get out of the town. You would think with decades of fires we could get the escape routes down, but Tracy was hit hard with people migrating over from the swamped Bay Area. Too many people and the infrastructure couldn't handle it.

And so I've been alone since I was about 19 years old. I've had many short term relationships, my longest going on 5 years now. Oh how I'll miss them when I'm gone. I tried to see if the mission would let me take my love with me, but I was told it took up "too much space" to justify since asparagus is not a high producing crop! I took care of that bed for 3 years before being able to harvest any spears! I only got to taste its sweetness only twice in these past 5 years of companionship, and to think I will never taste them again pains me to my core! At least I will still have my short term flings since most of the seeds I am taking with me are annuals anyhow. Maybe I'll start a new asparagus bed after everything has settled a bit...

So yah, no human relationships in my life. I don't see the point. Everyone has their own emotional baggage with the end of the world in sight. Why would I want to add anyone else's? Even therapists are just handing out coping methods on how to deal with death. No optimism here. Honestly this journal is already doing a better job than any therapy I've done in the past. And for sure I'm not having any children. That would just be cruel to bring them into this world.

All I need are my plants and my will to fight. I don't think my fighting on Earth will be able to help much anymore. That's why when I was given the opportunity to join this space mission I did not hesitate. Shuttles have been prepared all around the world to launch tomorrow and we will join the thousands of others who have already left our world in search of another. Part of me wants to believe that we will find it and save everyone and fix Earth, but my heart knows the truth and I cannot help but feel guilty about it. After handing my key to my landlady or receiving my change from the cashier, I cannot help looking at them and thinking, 'I am leaving you here to die, and I will have a chance to live.' Definitely hasn't been helping with the sleep department over the last few weeks we've been training. The only thing that soothes me is knowing that I am helping keep humanity going. I am taking our past and culture with me through the seeds we have cultivated for thousands of years. Our story will go on even when the Earth goes silent - at least that is what I hope I will help do.

It is late, and as my grandma used to say, I should turn in for the night. Tomorrow is the big day! Good night, journal.