It's amazing to be able to injure two people at the same time in such a short amount of time.
Shinichi crouched on the ground, laughing to himself.
The hand holding the black teacup slowly tightened, but his expression was as calm as stagnant water.
Otherwise, if he didn't suppress all the emotional turmoil in his body, allow the severe pain to gradually erode his heart, and keep his mind clear, he would definitely do things outside of his own rationality, regardless of everything.
For example, to prevent Miku from showing such a smile, she confessed to him.
For example, to make a fool of the past, she smiled and told him not to care, then changed the subject.
For example, in order to simply put an end to her feelings for him, she explained and said it clearly, then resolutely rejected it, so that she wouldn't be bothered by him in the future.
For example, in order to make him hate herself, she did more exaggerated things and said more exaggerated words.
But now, Shinichi couldn't do anything, he could only silently stare at Miku.
"Then I'll shop elsewhere... I'll be back during gathering time."
After she finished speaking, Miku turned around and moved her steps lightly.
She clearly said that she was going shopping elsewhere, but she walked towards the shop door without looking back.
The hand holding the garment bag was even paler than her skin.
Miku's back was as fragile as white porcelain that could break at the touch of a finger.
Shinichi gritted his teeth involuntarily, cracks starting to appear on his calm expression.
He put the cup back in the cup holder.
(Think about it...)
Is it really okay to do this?
"How can it be good..."
It's just the easiest way to convince yourself among a bunch of rotten choices.
Thinking of oneself and others is for wanting to do it, how can such selfishness be praised!
(Think about it...)
Does he really want to do this?
"How could it be ..."
Didn't he say he didn't want to hurt anyone? But no matter what you say, it will hurt others, why can't he understand it!
He couldn't do it either!
(Think about it...)
He really can't, tell her what's in his heart?
If he had told her seriously, Miku would have been happier and wouldn't have shown such a pitiful smile, right?
"But, I don't have that kind of courage, the courage to present my most authentic self to her…"
"Fuck!"
His calm expression completely shattered, Shinichi clenched his fist, and punched his own right cheek hard.
Then, desperately stood up and ran after Miku.
——For the first time, he didn't want to give himself an excuse.
—For the first time, he stopped thinking.
——For the first time, he wanted to completely blank his mind, just follow his own will, follow his inner urges, and do some stupid things that he would never feel ashamed of.
If there was one only chance in life to be willful...
If there was the only chance in life, he could cheat...
"Miku!!!"
Then he chose to forget everything this time and became a willful and shameless childish fool.
So he firmly grabbed Miku's hand.
Miku was forced to stop, and just as she was about to turn her head, she heard Shinichi's hoarse voice.
"Please don't turn your head, listen to me!"
This is his final dignity. Other than that, nothing is needed.
Miku no longer twisted her neck, but stood still in place with her head down, without any movement.
At this time, Shinichi took a deep breath and spoke word by word.
"When I was 10 years old... Strange memories came to mind. Those are the memories of other people living in the ward for more than 10 years!"
"I know this is hard to believe, but it's true… He was isolated in the ward since he was a child. It's not a ward, but a research facility… Dedicated to studying viruses."
"He caught a virus that has killed hundreds of people. Due to the chaos, he was locked up for research. He was injected with anesthetic all day except for reading. He never communicated with anyone."
"It is a strange virus that requires its psychoactive maintenance. Research facilities use books to foster their psychoactive addiction. He could only read books and study. After the research was successful, his body completely collapsed and died. I got this memory, and his dedication to study."
As if she couldn't stand his nonsense, Miku wanted to turn her head, but was pulled back by Shinichi at the right time, her head was pressed lightly by his chin, and a heavy breath came from above.
At that moment, Miku's entire body softened as if boneless, she gave up, and obediently leaned into his arm. She couldn't even hold herself from letting go of her fingers, the clothes in the bag slipped to the floor, and she didn't have to pick them up.
Shinichi instinctively made such an action, and his words didn't stop.
"So, ever since I was young, I lived only to study… Although some things have changed recently, there's only one thing, I've never grown up."
"That is love."
With a hoarse voice, Shinichi struggled to speak.
"Miku... Neither he nor I have ever been in love. We have never been chased by anyone, nor have we liked anyone."
"I think love is a very important thing. In that case, if I say anything, do anything, and promise any oath, I must be prepared to shed blood and do my best to take responsibility. "
"I can be abandoned or hated, but if I really like someone, and that person also likes me, I will persist for the rest of my life, and I won't let it go until I die."
"Stupid, isn't it? Troublesome, right? But if you don't think so, I'm sorry for the person who might fall in love with me."
"Therefore, I dare not say it. I dare not say that I was actually really scared…"
There is a kind of self-deprecating sadness.
"I fear that if I become the weakest and most useless person, I will eventually have to leave the world alone."
"I'm scared. I kept finding excuses for myself, not letting others change me, not letting myself depend on others… In this way, even if I'm still alone in the end, I won't be so lonely."
"That's because I'm a contradictory coward... That's why I dare not tell you my own thoughts."
Shinichi opened his mouth, poured strength into every word and said.
"I... Thought... You... Liked... Me!"
Refinement, shame, pain, panic, distortion, fear.
Do not stop, before all is said—
"I don't know if I like you or not, but I don't want to see that look on your face!"
"Probably pity or some kind of sympathy. I also know this is despicable. It's like trash. It's just a relationship with people based on kindness or desire, not love."
"But if possible... If possible..."
Shinichi closed his eyes tightly, his lips trembled, and the nerves on his face were so tense that he didn't know what kind of expression he had, definitely not very elegant.
Even though he was struggling, hesitating, and confused like this, the tide of emotions had already reached its peak, and the words he would speak from his heart were solemnly spoken from his mouth in the very next moment.
"Please follow me, under the pretext of getting married—"
"Shinichi!"
Lips blocked by finger.
Like a raging wave crashing against a rock, the sudden shock left Shinichi's consciousness blank for a moment, and then he felt Miku struggle away from his arms and stand in front of him.
"I also have something to tell you."
Miku's face was still red, but her smile had disappeared, and she looked at him seriously with her fingers pressed against her lips.
Shinichi stared back at her blankly.
"I don't know if I like you."
Shinichi widened his eyes.
Miku's expression remained the same, her eyes under the messy bangs were straight and fixed on him.
"If you don't know, then you have to work hard."
"Trying hard to see your own mind... Trying hard to understand what love is... Trying hard to create a form of happiness."
Getting closer to Shinichi, fragrance and softness pressed against his body, Miku raised her head, and looked at him intently with blushing face from a very close distance.
"Work hard to learn to like you, and then learn how to make you like it, to become the kind of person you can like."
She pulled out her headphones and threw them on the floor, flicking her long hair at the tip of Shinichi's nose, and then moved closer.
"Before that... You can't like me first. You can't do it casually, covertly, impulsively, or seriously."
"I have to like you first, then let you fall in love with me... This is the happiness I want."
Unquestionable willful words.
"Remember the thing about me liking the Sengoku general? This is my declaration of war to you, Daimyo Shinichi."
Even though her face was expressionless, Shinichi could still see that Miku was a little nervous.
Standing on tiptoe, she lightly licked her lips with she tongue, and held her breath.
"So..."
Immediately, Miku made up her mind and moved forward, shortening the distance by only one centimeter.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together with her finger.
"That... My best effort today."
Slowly backing away, a finger to her lips, Miku looked away and smiled shyly, but she was happier and more confident than usual.
"It doesn't matter with the clothes. Next time, I will ask you to buy it together."
She was talking, but Shinichi still hadn't recovered, his mind was full of gentle touches. That tenderness was in his own imagination, after all, Miku didn't kiss him.
It's just that the breath and warmth of his skin are very real, making him feel like ecstasy, and his consciousness is dizzy.
"Before I win, our relationship will be like this first. Don't change it for me, I will try my best not to be changed by you."
Miku picked up the headphones on the ground, patted them, and wrapped them around her neck again.
Picking up her clothes, Miku walked towards Shinichi again, and stood shoulder to shoulder with him at a distance of ten centimeters, as usual, but something was different.
Turning her head suddenly, she chuckled at Shinichi.
There was no doubt that it was a warm smile that only belonged to Miku.
"Can I dye black with my favorite blue?" She asked.
Twisting his neck stiffly, Shinichi looked at her a little stupidly, suddenly raised his hand, and slowly covered his face, so that people couldn't see it with his eyes.
Then, the sound is boring and original.
"... If you can do it, please."
Miku smiled even more.
"Then please give me your advice, Shinichi."
In the empty corner of the shop, the sound of linking the shackles rang out loud.