Ch 17 strange bonds

IMPORTANT NOTE: hi people it's been a long time since I posted any kind of note and I am requesting you help to support me on P_A_T_R_E_O_N. i know it may be too much to ask but as you all know I have not been able to upload for a few months, it's because of my college and that makes it much hard for me to upload new chapters and I really hope to get some support from u guys because it would be really helpful to me and in the P_A_T_R_E_O_N you guys can also vote which novel should I post next or help me in noval editing works and stuff, I will also do my best to upload at least two chapters a day of any novel which i am uploading, so please support me guys thank you guys 🙂.

https://www.patreon.com/Tony_stark_3000?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

This is my P_A_T_R_E_O_N link please support me.thank you guys

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After James left to use the loo, Lily wandered around the graveyard, looking for someone to talk to. Petunia...she didn't want to speak to, nor her mother (who was talking to James, laughing), and most of the other people remaining were rather unfamiliar to her. Severus...

...Severus was at her father's gravestone, his hands tracing over the words engraved upon it, his eyes staring unblinkingly at the rounded top. His mouth moved, mumbling words that the youngest Evans girl couldn't hear, the frown on his face seeming more fixed than the stone at which he looked.

Lily fought the urge to slip behind him and listen in, but as she had told James, it wasn't nice to eavesdrop on people...something which she had been doing an awful lot of late.

Instead though, someone slipped behind her. "So, I see that you've brought more freaks with you, to your father's funeral even. Clearly, you don't have any sense of shame."

Lily scowled as she turned to face her sister, who stood with her arms crossed, a scowl of her own on her lips. Wearily, she muttered, "Hello, Petunia, mind leaving me alone on today of all days?"

Petunia though seemed quite incensed at something, glaring at Lily as she snarled, "If you're going to humiliate the family, do us a favor and don't come at all next time. It's bad enough how he died, but if you're trying to use your own father's funeral to pick up dates...well, I'd honestly love to see you and your little freak friend thrown out of here on your pasty bums!"

And with that, Petunia stalked away, heading in the direction of the massively-mustached Vernon Dursley.

Lily glowered, her eyes hot with anger as she fought the suddenly-intense urge to hex her sister. She hadn't had the slightest intention of trying to use her father's funeral to pick up a date, or anything of the nature! James had just surprised her with his question was all. It hadn't been out of an attempt to make a mockery of her dad's funeral, at least not on her part. She'd never do something as low as that, especially not to him! "Hmmph!"

Shaking her head as she rubbed her now-itching eyes, Lily did her best to ignore what her sister had said. However, when she turned away she saw Severus sitting on the grass, his back resting against one of the nearby gravestones, his eyes shut as he swayed a bit. She swore under her breath, still furious at her sister, then walked beside her friend. "Severus, do you have a moment?"

His eyes open, blinking tiredly for a couple seconds, before focusing on her. Seeming to notice her distress, he stood up and asked carefully, "Lily, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," muttered Lily, tight-lipped as she spoke. "It's just my sister is all."

Severus frowned, giving her a evaluating look as he muttered, "I don't know why you bother, if she hurts you so often."

"She might be mean sometimes," admitted Lily, turning to glare at her far-off sister, who was grinning as she talked with Vernon. Her eyes softened though as she saw her sister smiling. "Petunia's still my sister though. Even if she is a...brat, I'll still love her."

"True..." Severus' voice seemed distant, as if he were thinking about something very different from her troubles with Petunia.

They lapsed into silence, Lily simply standing beside him as they watched the rest of the funeral-goers slowly trickle out of the graveyard, leaving only a few. James seemed to be arguing with Petunia for whatever reason, not that Lily cared much at that moment. Instead her thoughts were on her father...

The young woman missed him so very much. The very thought that she would never see him again was one that seemed to make her heart close up in her chest, making her regret that she had ever gone to Hogwarts in the first place. Sure, she had learned all sorts of cool tricks and spells...but in comparison to having missed so much of the time she could have spent with her father...it seemed a paltry payment for the many moments she had missed, simply by being at the school for most of the year.

Right then, if she had had the opportunity to do it all over again, she felt as if she would gladly have taken spending her life as a Muggle if it meant she could have those precious hours that she she had missed. For once, Lily felt envious of her sister, as the woman had had the opportunity that Lily had missed...

"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus was barely a foot away from her now, his surprisingly tired-looking eyes examining her with the same attention he'd give a potion recipe, as if he might discover the secrets of life from the moles on her face.

Lily looked away, face flushing as she remembered the kiss from Wednesday (the kiss of comfort, she reminded herself). She said nothing lest it sound foolish or giggly, as this was not the time to let her silly hormones control her. 'Besides, Severus probably wouldn't under-' Lily paused, suddenly remembering the simple fact that Severus was probably more likely to know what she was going through, given the death of his own mother.

But would now be a good time to bring that up? Lily wasn't sure, as Severus still seemed a bit...broken up about the death of his mother, not that she could blame him. Perhaps it would only hurt him to talk about it...

"Lily?" Severus had lid a hand on her shoulder, steadying her as he walked in front of the still-silent young woman again, peering at her face. His voice was hesitant, "If you don't want to say anything...it's alright, but if you want to... He trailed off, lowering his gaze, worry in his black orbs.

Lily bit her lip, ducking her head a bit so her green eyes could fasten upon his anxious ones. She turned away from him, speaking in quiet words, "Severus, do you ever wish...that you had never gone to Hogwarts? That you had stayed home with your mother and just...been there with her?" Even as she finished, she felt guilt crawling into her throat. She knew full well how much the death of his mother had hurt him...and how much mentioning it still seemed to.

Severus interrupted her contemplations, saying in serious tones, "To be honest, not really. She told me once that seeing me doing well in Hogwarts was one of the few things that made her...happy." A shadow seemed to eclipse his face as he then muttered, "Maybe if I had done-" He cut himself off abruptly, shaking his head as he changed the subject. "Do you think that it would have been better if you hadn't gone?"

Biting her lip, Lily thought it over, not missing how his dark eyes fastened upon her own as he waited for her answer. Finally, she whispered, "I don't know, maybe...maybe I'm just being silly."

Severus squeezed her shoulder, nodding thoughtfully, if a bit sleepily. "Actually, yes, I think you're being silly. If you hadn't gone...then you would have missed other things..."

"Like what?" whispered Lily, her slender shoulder leaning against his hand. "Spells and tricks? Silly house rivalries? James Potter?" She shook her head, her voice nearly breaking, "I'd give them all up, every last one of them, for just another week with my father. Wouldn't you do the same if it was your mother?"

There was no response. Instead, Severus closed his eyes, his face bleak as she watched him. He opened his eyes again, and watched her furtively, "I don't think so... If I had the opportunity to change things, I don't think I would have, not for my mother." Seeing the look on her face, he explained, "It'd been years since the two of us had had a real conversation. A week would have merely delayed the inevitable, I think." His voice trailed off to a whisper. "I don't think I could have changed anything...not really. Not worth it..."

Seeing the shame on Severus' face, Lily spoke without rancor, "What if you had tried talking to her? If you had spent years without having a real conversation, then maybe it was long overdue?"

"What would that have helped?" asked Severus, brutal honesty in his voice. "If I had talked to her...then maybe it would have just happened sooner. Merlin knows that whenever I try to-" He stopped suddenly, sighing as he let go of her shoulder. Shaking his head tiredly, he muttered, "Never mind, we...shouldn't be talking about me today. Not today..."

"But-"

"Not now!" interrupted Severus, exasperation audible in his voice, making Lily take a step back at the anger in his voice. He visibly calmed down though as he sat on the ground in front of her, speaking quietly, something resembling kindness audible in his voice, "Do you think your father would have wanted you to stay here with him, forsaking all of your potential? He...really liked that you were a witch. He wouldn't have wanted you to give that all up..."

Lily joined him, her shoulder against his, feeling warm once again. Smiling, she whispered, "Maybe...but it doesn't mean that I don't wish that I could have done something..."

Severus shrugged, nodding his head slowly as they sat in silence, watching the sun go down. He seemed tired, drained of life and energy. Lily wondered what was the cause of it all, before she remembered how he hadn't gotten the last week off like she had. "Tired, Severus?" she asked hesitantly. "I didn't think you were so..."

"Mmhmm..." mumbled the boy, and she noticed that his eyes had closed.

"Sorry, Severus, I didn't mean to keep you up," she whispered, feeling rather guilty at having kept him up, although it was only evening still...

A thought struck her, reminded of what she had overheard what seemed so long ago. 'And with those friends of his...did they let him off doing their homework? He was pretty distraught as well, but did they let him off, or make him do it anyway?' She sighed, disgusted. 'I doubt people like them could be so generous...'

Severus' shoulder suddenly seperated from her own, although she could still feel his hips touching her own.

Turning to see what had caused this, Lily was unable to suppress a giggle. The dark Slytherin boy had fallen asleep, and now his head was laying on the soft grass behind him. Severus' face bore no suspicious lines for once, no dark, angry glares...although he did twitch a bit in his sleep.

He shivered, his arms wrapping around himself, and Lily realized how cold it was. Night had fallen while they sat there, and everyone had left, save for James and her mother, who were talking animatedly over by the iron gates to the old graveyard.

Biting her lip, Lily carefully hoisted Severus up again. Slipping under him, she allowed him to fall to rest once again, this time landing on her stomach. Several moments passed, during which Lily wondered if she had woken him, but he didn't move... At least he was no longer shivering. Now he was a warm weight on her lap, a slight smile on his face as he laid there. She smiled too, glad to have him there, especially on this day. It made her feel-

"Hey, Lily?" A sudden whisper in her ear interrupted Lily's contemplations, bringing her back to reality. Turning, she felt a flush creeping over her face as she saw who it was.

James sat down beside her, giving the sleeping Severus a glower before forcing a smile. His hand almost touching hers, he whispered again, quietly enough that it didn't seem to disturb Severus "Are you doing alright over here? Your mother was worried when you didn't arrive on time, and thought that something must have happened. Apparently your sister...Petunia, didn't tell her you had arrived." The distaste was audible in his voice as he said her sister's name.

"Oh...I'm doing fine," muttered Lily, pinkening even more as Severus shifted a bit. The top of his head now sat mere inches from the underside of her breasts, his ear pressed against her stomach. She let out a breath and tried to ignore it, focusing on her whispered conversation with James. "Petunia's been acting like a right bint the whole day, so it wouldn't surprise me in the least."

"Hmm..." James grunted distractedly, biting his lips in apparent thought. He then gave Lily a strange look as he spoke, "I didn't know that you had a sister before today, now that I think of it. To be honest, I always pictured you as having a little brother or two, but no sister. Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Lily shook her head, careful not to move too much lest Severus be woken up. "You never asked...and it's not like we're really all that close, James."

"Well, it's not like you ever gave me a chance!" retorted James, loudly enough that Lily feared he had woken Severus up. "I mean, you always talked to Snape, but never said two words to me except to rant at me. Why wasn't I someone you talked to, confided in? Why was it always, and I'm sorry for saying it, the Slytherin git?"

Lily took a deep breath then looked down, making sure Severus was still asleep. Luckily, he didn't seem to have woken up yet, although he twitched a bit. Giving James a level look, she whispered angrily, "Be quiet! He's trying to sleep. As for why I've never really talked to you...why do you think I didn't talk to you? You spent half of the time bullying most of our classmates, and the rest of the time bullying my best friend! Why would I want to have a friend like that? Tell me that!"

James looked at her with pleading eyes as he replied desperately, albeit quietly, "I've been in love with you for nearly three years now, and you still won't talk to me. You preferred a boy who wanted to be a Death Eater to a fellow Gryffindor; I know I've done some pretty bad things, although I still wouldn't call it bullying Snape, but at least have the decency to give me a chance! Hell, I've stopped doing any of that stuff, so why do you still choose him over me?"

"It was never a choice." retorted Lily tiredly, her anger turning to exhaustion as she tried to get James to understand. "I never chose Severus over you as my friend; I just didn't choose you, because you were an arrogant toerag, and you were tormenting my best friend. I chose to keep Severus' friendship...well, the reasons for that are none of your bloody business, but they're good ones, trust me. If you still want to make me choose between the two of you...then you never understood anything to begin with!"

There was silence, while James turned to stare down at the ground, his face set in a disappointed grimace. Slowly, he stood up, using his strong legs to get to his feet without using his hands. He looked at her with honesty radiating from his brown eyes, from his strong features, his wand-hand held over his heart, "Lily, I told you, I've stopped doing any of that stuff...but if you want me to say it again, I will. I swear that I've changed, and I love you very much...so why not at least give me a chance to get to know you, at least as a friend? Please."

"Alright, it's a deal." Lily offered the Gryffindor boy a smile, chuckling as his face seemed to light up with happiness. "I'll try being your friend, alright?" Realizing he was about to let out a whoop of joy, she quickly pointed at Severus though. "Be quiet though, I don't want to wake Severus up!"

James grinned dazedly, seeming almost drunk on glee as he jumped up in silent cheer. Lily had to suppress a chuckle as she saw his sheer joy, all but dancing in the rising moon's light. He then turned back to her and whispered brightly, "So, how shall we begin?"

Lily thought about it, then said slowly, trying to keep herself from being carried away with James' enthusiasm, "Well, given that today's the day of my father's funeral...maybe we should talk about him?"

James nodded, still grinning. "Alright, well, I heard a bit about him from you, Severus, and your mother today. I know some things, like his breakfast preferences were eggs and rashers, and he died from crashing his car into another automobile, but I don't know much about what he looks like. Mind telling me that?"

Lily nodded, carefully watching Severus to make sure he hadn't woken up. They'd need to leave soon though regardless, as it was getting pretty late. "Well...he was a rather plump man, short blond hair..."

It wasn't for another fifteen minutes that Severus woke up, during which she and James talked about her father, James joking that girls always loved men like their fathers and as he was such a man...

The sound of her laughter was what finally woke Severus up.

"Hmm, having any trouble with that spell, Severus?" joked Lily, trying to get a rise out of her DADA partner.

The joke was the idea that there was a single spell Hogwarts taught in regards to the Dark Arts or defending against them that Severus hadn't mastered.

"Hardly." Severus gave her a strange look, flushing a bit before burying his nose deeper in a library book (probably about the Dark Arts), having snuck it into class to 'deal with the boredom of listening to imbeciles'.

To be fair, Professor Skeith was far from an imbecile, but since he was teaching at the same level as the rest of the students...Lily could see Severus' point. According to her bibliophilic companion, a few months back, Skeith had agreed to let him spend his classroom time studying so long as he turned in the written assignments and participated in the practicals.

"Well...hmm." Lily gave him an odd look, even as he flipped to the next page. Studying was all well and good...but it was rare that Severus was this quiet around her. He might be rather stoic, keeping to himself most of the time...but around her it was very strange indeed.

Perhaps she had provoked this in the past few days...but she hadn't the faintest idea why or how. Lily didn't think he was angry at her, as he would have simply avoided her completely if he were that angry. He wouldn't be acting like this...but what did it mean?

"Hey, Lily, Sirius is trying to steal my wand!" whispered James Potter, sitting at the table behind her. She could hear the mischievous grin in his voice. "Make him stop!"

"Hey, no fair running to a bloody prefect, Prongs!"

"You do realize that I'm a prefect, right, Padfoot?"

"Err...oops?"

"Stop acting like children." Rolling her eyes at the Marauders' antics, Lily noticed that most of the class was staring at them, causing her to blush. Sinking deeper into her seat, she gave Severus an apologetic shrug, which he didn't seem to notice. Instead, he seemed to glance...

...in the direction of Mulciber and Avery, who both ignored his look, instead pointedly looking away.

Severus returned his attention to his book, disappointment flashing across his face before being replaced by studious calm. It was several minutes before he flipped another page though.

Lily glowered in the direction of the other Slytherin boys, before forcing a smile and laying a hand on Severus' shoulder, doing her best to conceal her anger. He offered her another strange look before ducking his head back into the tome he was reading.

'How dare they treat Severus this way!' A large part of her wanted to shout. Severus was far better than the likes of them, so much better that they should be on their hands and knees begging for the right to talk to him. 'Really, I don't know why he wastes his time with the likes of them. If he simply acted the way he is around me towards most people...I seriously doubt he would be lacking for friends.'

"Don't worry about them," muttered the incensed red-head, jerking her head toward Mulciber for emphasis. "Let's just focus on the assignment, alright?"

Neither of them had much of anything to do of course, as it was more of a mental exercise designed to prepare one for the basic Patronus summoning. Most teachers wouldn't have assigned such a spell of course, but Skeith was rumored to have had a sister who died in Azkaban. Luckily, it was said to have uses other than for fighting Dementors, so Lily continued quietly through the exercise.

"Right..." replied Severus, offering her a quick nod before returning to his book...again. Lily frowned, but said nothing, instead trying to come up with happy memories for the Patronus. It wasn't too hard, as she had quite a few memories she thought might do the trick. She hoped that one relating to her father would work, so it would be something to remember him by...

She was rather distracted though, as something was bothering Severus, and Lily was pretty sure that Mulciber and Avery were at the root of it.

Merlin help them when she found out how.

Dear Medusa,

It's alright, I have had some issues to deal with as well, especially with my friend.

That could be true, but you wouldn't know it with my friends. As for power...I'd like the ability to protect myself from my enemies, as well as protecting those close to me. If I had enough power, then I'd never have to be...worried again. If I had power...no-one could hurt me (Somehow, if people who try to harm me end up dead, I doubt anyone would want to harm me).

Your dream sounds like an interesting one; how does being a healer appeal to you though? What would you enjoy about it, or dislike instead? (I suppose that you would want to be a healer purely for the sake of helping people, knowing you)

My friends...it's rather complicated, to say the least. Suffice it to say, they provide me with companionship I suppose, although they can be a bit irksome at times. It doesn't matter much though; I lack many other options (apart from formerly-annoying chits who have a tendency to ask too many questions).

The girl...she's a not-unintelligent blonde about my age, seventeen, and is rather infamous throughout our school for her...physical generosity to the male population. She goes through boyfriends at a fairly rapid rate, sleeping with pretty much anyone who will let her...but I don't think that that is the whole story with her.

She has acted oddly around the guys she is interested in the time I've seen her, trying so hard to become exactly the sort of person she thinks they'd want that I find it rather...scary. The one she broke up with a short time ago, he was on the Quidditch team...and she quickly became the most brainless, quidditch-loving fool I have ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on. Make no mistake, I enjoy watching the game...but I'm pretty sure she doesn't.

There's another guy she is interested in now, and I'm seeing the same thing happen all over again. He likes Gobstones, and whenever I see her of late, there is a book on Gobstone strategy in her hands. I've been told that it's considered a good thing to try out what your significant other is interested in, giving it a chance...but could this be too much of a good thing?

Hmm, the spell that I'm working on is something I've been considering for combat against one or more enemies. It's an offshoot of Leglimancy if you will, enabling me to burrow just deeply enough into somebody's mind to mess them up a bit. Think hallucinations and temporary inability to distinguish reality from thought. One of the main advantages is that it doesn't require you to strike with a spell cast from your wand, as you merely need to maintain eye contact for about a minute.

Obviously, it is non-verbal.

In regards to how I coped...well, one of my teachers suggested doing some work to keep myself busy, so I started tutoring the girl I mentioned earlier. Apart from that...I just tried not to think about it, especially the parts where it was my fault. Those...I preferred not to think about as much. In hindsight, perhaps talking about it would have helped me more than keeping silent (Yes, I am fully aware that I am admitting that you are right. I strongly hope that it won't happen again).

Your friend,

Perseus