Landfill Life

"In a junk pile far far away... Hah, no I'm just kidding with you, this is dump site 19"

"It's a wonderful place full of treasures no one can appreciate except for me... and my competitors."

"But that's irrelevant, the real fun is in the conflicts of the humans!"

"I mean, every time they have a conflict, something good comes here, whether that be high energy storage cells or military grade plastics!"

"The very thought of it makes me drool!"

"Anyways I haven't seen a human in a long time, not since they started dumping that energy drink down here."

"Oh I know it's not an energy drink, it's just a waste product of whatever…but it's healthy and delicious!"

"The humans have been pouring that down for a long time now so we -- ah! darn… Alejandros must've bit me."

"Damn cockroaches will survive anything but this one in particular. Somehow he got lucky out of his bunch and didn't die. Luckily he was sterilized when he bit his own pair off. Don't know what he was thinking but damn thats a sad place to be."

"Almost feel sorry for the kid, was there when he was born, back before they started dumping that sludge, middle of the bunch, wasn't protected since he was the worst at something, wasn't the best at anything. Just left alone… even by death I guess. HAH! Now that's a funny one."

"Guess I'm lucky enough to not have a bunch of him running around."

"Anyways, I guess this is as good of a time as any to introduce you to my neighbors! Meet Senny! Well we used to call him sunny, but he hates the sun HAH!"

"Senny's a really sweet guy, he won't bite… not like Alejandros that is."

"He's just one of the little worms that are around here, poking air holes here and there. If you want an airway, Senny's your guy. Or girl. Or another gender. Do worms even have genders???"

"Damn why didn't the encyclopedia set include that. I guess we're set far away from reality as everybody else knows it though that we're so different nobody knows what we are anymore."

"Anyways he'll do anything for free, emphasis on the free. Me and Alejandros offer him 'protection' in exchange for him to work for us for free. HAH! What a sucker."

Now are there more monsters in our junk pile? Yes. Do you or I want to meet them? All I know is that I'm sure as hell not interested in meeting them. Geez the last time I met one was some walking and writhing indiscernible mass. I mean, do you want to meet him? The damn mole was pink! Pink I tell you! What ungodly color is that!? That's the color of the food I eat, the color of the walls that surround me in my mound! It's a sickly ungodly pink! Like Senny but worse! You can see the blood vessels just looping around his body! Now when you combine that with the solid colors of his muscle what do you think you get! The most ungodly sight you've ever seen! I would spurt my digestive fluids everywhere if I got too close to him! Who wants to live near that guy! And there is a high chance that more of where that came from where he lives! So no I don't want to live in a den of the most ungodly creatures I've ever seen!

"Now do I know his character? No. Do I know why he looks like that? No. Do I know anything other than that he looks like that? No. But what I do know is that that is the most ungodly sight I've ever seen and God can I not focus on knowing anything about him! Nor do I even want to! That's simply how ungodly of a sight he is!"

"Now take Senny. He's a very nice straight line. None of that looping around stuff I see in the dumb mole. Now take Alejandros. A very nice dull brown shell. A comforting sight to see. None of that disgusting pink. Now look in contrast to that ungodly sight that is the manager of duties here! I'd do twice as much as work if I didn't have to see him every few days!"

"Not that I'd mind getting more duties… All I have to do is eat. Simple."

"What they call trash, I call junk food. It's simply delicious, all those different tastes and smells whirling around and around and around up into heaven. Just kidding. I can't taste. I just secrete my digestive fluids and I suck them back in. Simple. None of that 'hey I'll put this in my mouth and after it gets treated like a bazillion times it'll come back out again' - I mean just imagine, what does it feel like to have something coming out of you?"

"But I mean, now that the bit Alejandros bit off me is done healing… Oh yeah that's another part of humans that absolutely sucks! I mean just imagine losing a small part of your body and not being able to grow it back! I mean all these arms and legs and bodies and heads I've been receiving! I mean why can't they just grow it back after they've had their head blasted off of them by an explosion!"

"Anyways a bit off track there I guess I gotta turn back into the form for doing my duty."

"God what if he stays an extra bit longer because I didn't eat fast enough."

"I would dump out much of my digestive fluids that my carefully constructed floor might dissolve!"

"I'm off to work!"