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Journey: The World of Witches

作者: Rokuhine
ファンタジー
連載中 · 161.3K ビュー
  • 49 章
    コンテンツ
  • 4.8
    14 レビュー結果
  • NO.200+
    応援
概要

Andrew is an Anti-Mage, a soldier of Mires that specializes as a countermeasure against witches. He first believed that everything he does, no matter how callous to another life, is necessary in order to protect those close and precious to him, but one day he meets a witch that threatens that worldview.

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Yolohy · ファンタジー
4.8
1377 Chs

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GlaringError · ファンタジー
4.4
299 Chs
目次
0 :Auxiliary Volume
1 :The War of Witches

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  • リリース頻度安定性
  • ストーリー展開
  • キャラクターデザイン
  • 世界観設定
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mrmrcia
mrmrciaLv10

I really appreciate how descriptive your writing style is. Although it may not be everyone's cup of tea, I prefer something that ignites my imagination with concrete descriptions. However, incorporating a lot of expositions slows down the plot, and some readers may not be into this kind of laggard pacing. Also, as someone who has a similar writing style, it's very difficult to think of metaphors to use in the descriptions, since adjectives don't really suffice. The intricacy of the prose is one thing that I'm trying to find. I think you can achieve this soon! LMAO, the friggin altercation with Melissa and Erize was a delight to read because of their insults. Although, when writing an actions scene, make sure that the passages would convey how quick the action was. Furthermore, also point out what's happening with their gazes, muscles, limbs, auras, and everything. Refrain from using modifiers. The world building is phenomenal! I wonder how the education system of Mire's Military College works in particular. I'm pretty keen on reading how the three methods of spell casting works: runes, incantations, and magic circles. However, incantations are considered spoken spells, so should it be a major category? I think it would fit as an element more rather than a category. I adore that you're willing to explain the system that you built. But perhaps, you can put up an auxiliary chapter that will elaborate on the spell system and the world. They're important information, yet the way you narrated them in the story was quite in a condensed paragraph. Readers usually skip over thick passages. In relation to that, I advise that you cut your paragraphs. It's really not optimal to read such long narration, since people tend to skip over it. There were some minor mistakes such as misuse/missing punctuation marks, leading to run-ons, and some questionable word choices. I just pointed them out to let you know that this work could look even more beautiful. For the characters, I adore Melissa the most. Maybe it's for the reason that her nasty tongue is untouchable. Cecil and Erize is just always having a hard time from her insults. I should ship Andrew with Melissa. I surmised Andrew to be quite the straightforward person, a tad selfish to some degree, but caring nonetheless. Hmm, I'm still wondering why the court was able to accuse Melissa of being the Cerulean witch without properly investigating the matter. Such corruption, ugh. Lucifia and Melissa should really spare from bullying my dear Basil. Aside from that, nothing really stood up for me in terms of the propensities of the other characters except for unique parlance of some people and the aggressive onee-sans. Overall, that pacing of the story is just right, not too hasty nor slow, by virtue of the minimal transitions that were effectively placed. Rest assured that you're a good writer! And this was an interesting read for me, and will continue to do so. I'll be supporting you! (Please don't hurt me for not being able to provide a good enough review) p.s. don't use too much foreign characters that are not a part of the english keyboard. The bots might identify you as someone who steals other people's works, blacklisting your novel.

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