I Have Become a Rat, So Naturally I Must Spread The Black Death.

"Why the hell can't you do it right? You idiot." Shouts a pig.

"I-I'm sorry sir." I answer a pig. That pig is the floor head at the software company I work at, everyday he would come shouting just to show his dominance. He's one of those old fashioned 'you have to yell to seem powerful' people, but everyone knew he's an idiot.

Why can't I do it? Why? Well maybe it's cause you change your instructions every hour you fat pig.

"I'm cutting today from your paycheck." He shouts.

"B-but that's crazy, all I did was just a rewrite, you can't possible cut a day for—"

"Don't talk back to me!" He interrupts. "Just do your bloody job and be happy you're not fired."

"Fucking pig." I murmur to myself

"What?"

"N-nothing..."

He looks at me for a few more seconds then turns around and leaves.

Phew, that was close, he may be a pig but I still need my job. However when I do go rich I'll definitely have him assassinated.

Now some might go 'this is just a random thought' or 'I wouldn't actually kill anyone'. Not me. If I knew for sure I would get away with it I would set that asshole on fire and barbecue his own meat on it. A normal piece of meat however; not THAT 'meat'. I may not be right in the head but I have no perversions of such.

We wrap up work at about six in the afternoon, after which I head straight home, but god knows I can't head home safely, we can't have that can we?

On my way home every single day without fail I have to get bombarded with a series of street performers who think they can actually play to save their lives. I'm no virtuoso myself but I have a set of functioning ears that can distinguish music from noise, and that was nothing but noise. Yet our neighborhood was crowded with them, for some reason people just keep giving them money, are they deaf? I once got fed up and approached one of them.

"Enough. Please stop I'm sick of hearing your shitty playing everyday. Each and everyday I come home tired and you're just over there drumming away like a...a monkey having a seizure, drum away somewhere else." I told one of them, and you know what he said.

"1500$".

He asked me for 1500$ to stop his noise pollution; the audacity those people have.

After trudging through the way home I arrive at my place where my wife awaits for me, it's a kind of waiting not much different than a jail guard awaiting the return of his prisoner after his break. She would always go something like 'I need money.' Or 'Your dog shat on the carpet again.' Or 'there's no dinner today, I'm going out.' Or on a good day she'd just be out already. I don't recall the last time she greeted me now that I think about it, that's what you get from being forced into an arranged marriage I guess.

I walk through the front door greeted today by perhaps the only ray of sunshine I know of.

"How you doin' boy?" I say to my dog in a sound not that of a 41 year old man, but who cares, certainly not anyone in this world.

That's normally how my day goes. I go into bed, sleep it out, then next thing tomorrow I'm off to work passing by the same annoying musicians and sound of drilling...wait drilling?

"Sorry sir, this street is under repair, please take another route." Says the yellow helmeted standing in front of a working site, looks like a sewer pipe got busted or something, today will actually be the first day I take a different route to work, that might not be so bad, one sure does need a breath of fresh air.

As such I take the parallel to the right street with the intention to cross left after about two or three intersections. As I walk down the street I look at people around me, most in suits heading to work, they're all either grinning or occupied. It really gives you a feeling of vulnerability, but I know the better, having fallen for that trap many times before I know, each and every human is a piece of shit, and I'm the biggest piece of shit of them all; and that is a fact.

I reach the intersection I have to cross and wait out for the traffic sign to change, as soon as it changes I start crossing over with about three other people, when suddenly I hear a squeaking sound from afar.

"Watch out!" Someone shouts.

I look out in the other direction and see it, a truck running rampant out of control, and it's headed straight at the woman in front of me. She's just within pushing range, I'm sure that if I just give her a slight push she'll be out of the way, I'm also pretty athletic myself as I used to play baseball in high school. Such a quick reflex would be nothing to me, but in the end I decide not to do it. There's a chance I might get hit and honestly seeing someone die doesn't sound so bad, she's probably another horrible person anyways.

As such I immediately take 2 steps back and fix my eyes on the woman to enjoy the show, after all such a sight you only get every so often, then I hear another tire creek, her final creek of de—

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"HAAAAAH!"

What the hell?

I breathe heavily, what the hell just happened, ah, it must've been a nightmare. Ah thank go—

"Who're you thanking you scum." A feminine voice calls to me.

I look in front of me and there lies a girl sitting on a chair made out of rocks, she's dressed as a shrine maiden but it really doesn't fit the rest of her image, she was grinning a very vile grin, I don't think I've ever seen a smile that foul before.

"Who the hell are you?" I shout before looking around, how could I have not noticed it before, where is...everything?

Pitch black all across the board, actually what even am I standing on? Am I...

"Dead? Yes you are." She says while playing with her hair.

"I was actually gonna say 'am I still dreaming' but I guess dead wo— no wait how did you..."

"Hear that? Nothing hides here, your thoughts are as loud as your voice." She wears a bored expression on her face, I guess she must've explained this a thousand times before.

"Well what is this place exactly?" I ask

"The after life." She says while still playing with her hair. "You believe in reincarnation right? Well in this world you get what you believe in. So you're being incarnated."

"What? Really?!" I kinda wish I had believed in something nicer.

"That's rude, reincarnation is the most fair system after all." Damn, I forgot about that thought thing. "Well anyways bla bla bla you're getting incarnated into a rat bye."

"What? Hey hey hey hey wait wait, don't I even get a choice in this? Why a rat?" That bitch, do your job properly!

"You sure have balls calling the person incarnating you as a bitch." oh shit! "Well what did you expect a scum like you would reincarnate as? You left a woman to die just to watch her only a moment ago. What did you think you were gonna be? A unicorn?"

"Y-yeah I guess that's true, but isn't there like...mercy and stuff?" You know? You hear a lot about that stuff often, mercy and stuff like that.

"Do you recall showing mercy to that poor lady?"

"Hey it's not like I pushed her."

"Ah this is taking too much time, let's get this over with." She brings out a book and opens it. "Let's see, non-humans...hmm then animals section, rodents...and yup here it is rats. Bye." She presses a button in the book and I immediately start to feel my existence fading.

"Oh right two quick things." She continues.

"One, you'll retain your conscious and memories as punishment so you could realize your pathetic existence. Two, the world you're incarnating two has magic systems and stuff like that I can't be bothered to explain, figure them out quickly or you'll get hunted quite quickly."

Wait we're not incarnating to this world?

"Bye bye."

You gotta be fucking kidd—