Chapter Six

"V-Vados?

...

THAT'S IT! VADOS! HELP!"

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Wha... WHY?"

"As an angel I can't intervene directly."

She then looks over at Caulifla and sizes her up. "But it looks like she spotted a city in the distance. That's no good. We must find a way to stop her in her rampage..."

"KALE! KALE! Are you alright?!" She's no use. She's crying her eyes out while wondering why her sister would do this to her. "Damn it! Stay here!" You turn back to Vados as Caulifla starts stomping towards the city. "Okay! How do I stop her?!"

"Cut off the tail! A sufficiently strong energy blast could do the job."

"But I'm NOT that strong!"

"It's a weakpoint. It should work. But... there may be an easier way. Though I don't know if the girls would approve or if it'd even help."

"ANYTHING! JUST TELL ME ANYTHING!"

"Tell Kale to put on the earrings and take the other one!"

"What?! JEWELS?!"

"Just trust me on this one. Either you can put the other on or you could try putting it in Cauliflas ear. Whatever you do it has to be on the opposite ear!"

"And that could help?!"

"Possibly."

"Alright!"

Seeing no reason to abandon this so called "Plan B" you rush to Kale and relay the information Vados gave you. Sadly, she's in no state to help so you take up the task yourself and put on one of the earrings on her left ear.

With the other one in hand you start weighing your options.

Not seeing much of a choice, seeing how you don't know what this will do you charge the giant monkey stomping towards the city. Taking a deep breath you gather your focus and speed blitz towards its ear where you snap it on without a hitch. Luckily the ape barely even registered your presence due to your low powerlevel.

Just as you dash past it however you see something odd happening. The earrings begin to glow and both Kale and Caulifla are being pulled towards each other. This giant monkey you unwittingly unleashed meets halfway with the small and frail girl and when their bodies touch they erupt in a white light. From the resulting pillar a figure jumps out. Her eyes burning yellow with strange power.

"Yo!"

"W-Where are the girls?"

"Right here. Name's Kefla. And you must be Eric. Nice to meet'cha!"

Vados then steps up. "It's good you could make it. I assume you're aware of the situation."

"Yeah. Don't worry." Kefla then looks down at her tail and just casually plucks it out of her ass. "There we go. But when my time is up you'll have to handle Caulifla on your own."

"Don't worry. We'll take some precautions to ensure she doesn't see the moonlight when that happens."

Unable to make sense of this you interject.

"Excuse me but could one of you explain to me what the FUCK happened?"

Kefla then turns to you. "It's simple. I'm Caulifla and Kale merged together." She flicks the jewelry in her ears. "With this. Name's Kefla. And it looks like we're stuck like this for the next hour or so. So better make the most of it."

"So... Am I talking with Caulifla or Kale right now?"

"Both and neither. I am Kefla. I have their memories, power and traits. In an hour I'll defuse and they'll remember everything I did. But I'm still not them." She then takes a moment to close her eyes, look up at the sky and enjoy the cold breeze that washes over her.

"Mmmmmmmm..." She opens her eyes and looks at you. "This feels nice. This is a good planet."

"U-uuuuuh..."

"Hey! Since I'm going to stay here for an hour how about showing me around?"

You stare at the new person in front of you in awe. Even if she didn't possess such an obscene level of power you'd still be left speechless by her appearance alone. Kefla not only possesses the physical traits of Caulifla and the height of Kale but her body looks like that of a Greek goddess chiseled into marble. And as the full moon glows behind her you truly feel like you're in the presence of a deity for the first time.

"Hellooo?" She waves her hand in front of you and you clear your throat nervously. "I asked if you could show me around."

"Y-Yes! Absolutely!" The question is... how?

What could you possibly show someone like this?

"Do you... like playing games?"

"Depends. What sort?"

"I'll show you. Come."

Leading the two into the city you find Kefla staring at all the lights illuminating the place. From neon advertisements to streetlamps and even the light peering through the windows of peoples homes you could find almost anything. "WHOOOOOOA! It's all so bright! I can barely even tell it's night time!"

"Hmmm? Don't other planets have lights at night?"

"No."Vados answers you. "Most planets aren't so obsessed with consumerism like this."

"Heh... I guess we CAN go a bit overboard.

But it lends the big cities a nice feel you know.

It's certainly unique at the very least."

"How do you sleep at night?!" Kefla asks you.

"When you have so much stuff to do all the time?"

You shrug. "I guess you get used to it.

Our lives are... relatively short so our culture revolves around doing as much of...everything as possible. Now come. If you like just looking at the streets, you'll love this!"

Leading the two into an arcade they are drawn in by the places atmosphere. For a few moments they look around before asking you what this place is. "This is an arcade. It's a place where you can play a variety of games with your friends....And spend a bunch of money in the process." You mutter under your breath. "Sweet! Where do we start?" Kefla asks you.

"I 'unno. Anywhere I guess. Just... let's stay away from anything that requires strength.

I'd rather not break anything..."

As Kefla walks up to one of the games she invites you over to join her.

You show various games to Kefla in an effort to see what she enjoys. One by one you go over the machines and try them out, play around a bit but even when she gets somewhat decent at them none can hold her attention for too long. Until you reach the pool table that is.

For some reason the idea of taking turns in a competitive game of skill and precision seems really inviting to her. So after a bit of explaining and grabbing some nachos you actually got around to knocking balls into holes.

At first Kefla looked like she had a hard time wrapping around to how it's actually played but once she overcame that initial hurdle she turned out to be extremely good at the game, possibly due to her remarkable hand-eye coordination. What you thought to be something you could casually breeze through turned into the hardest match of your life.

Even when giving it your all it wasn't certain that you'd come out on top.

By the end of the match you're sweating bullets as you focus intently. It all came down to this.If you miss now she'll definitely knock the last ball in and win. But through determination and sheer luck you pull through and emerge victorious.

Practically collapsing under the pressure you lean heavily on the table when Kefla approaches you. "Good game!" She extends her hand and with a smirk you shake it.

"Yeah... Nice work! You know, you're really good at this! Like... REALLY good!"

"Thanks. It was fun. So... this is what you earthlings do in your free time? Play games together? Eat and drink?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Hmmm? What's wrong?"

"Well... I don't usually do this. I don't, I don't have many friends okay? I have like one and we mostly come here to beat others."

"That's sad. And hilarious!" She says, not in a mocking tone at all. She just treats it like it's a matter of fact. And for that you can't really be angry at her.

"Heh...I guess it is!" You look up at her. "But at least now I have two..."

Deciding that you could use some fresh air you head outside with your drinks in hand.

"Boy... it sure took long didn't it? I didn't even notice the time..." Kefla speaks up.

"Yeah... time flies by when you're having fun."

"Hmmm. Guess it does."

"A-Are you okay?"

"Yeah." She takes a swig of her coke before putting the glass down gently. "You know... This was fun."

"Do you... have to go?"

"Yeap. My one hour is almost up. You know... I'm glad I could have this. Even this fizzy drink. Because I never thought I'd ever live outside battle. Don't get me wrong... I love fighting but...I got to live now! Thank you!"

Kefla turns to look at you and you see genuine appreciation radiating from them. Your gut tightens into a knot as you think about this.

"W-What will happen to you? You know... when you're gone?"

"Nothing." She calmly explains. "I won't feel anything. I won't even feel it happen. I'll just... cease to exist." Then she lets out a smile.

"But don't worry! I'm sure these two doofuses will need me soon!"

You feel a mixture of emotions swirling inside of you, unsure how to feel about this.

You feel a tinge of sadness deep in your gut.

"I... know how you feel."

"Huh?"

"Back then... when it all happened. I felt... nothing. It wasn't bad but now that I can recall it, it's... harrowing. Not existing I mean. Not sure which I fear more to be honest. Being dead or simply not being." Looking up from the ground you look at her and give her a reassuring smile. "If you ever feel... getting out and doing this again I'm always up for it!"

Letting out a little smile Kefla looks up at the stars. "That's good to know." Then she looks back at you and slaps your shoulder. "Come on! Let's stop with all the gloom and go somewhere private. Wouldn't want people see me split in two, now would we?"

Nodding in agreement you lead them to a secluded place. The only one you can recall within a short distance. One you didn't really want to go to but have no choice now. Leading the two ladies into a somewhat old looking apartment complex. Fiddling with the lock for a moment you open the door and lead them in. "Here. It's my old place. We should be good here."

"All right!" Kefla looks around. "Guess this will do for defusing."

"By the way Kefla..."

"Hmmm?"

"Any advice on how to not get my ass kicked by the girls once you are gone?"

The tall girl then lets out a little smirk. "Eeeeeh don't worry about it! I wouldn't. Aaaaanyway... you know what to do... right?"

"Pluck the tail-"

"Like a band aid. Good. See ya!"

With that said Kefla began to glow and you see the light unfurl into two separate ones which begin to form Caulifla and Kale. Once you are certain they separated you reached out and quickly pulled on Cauliflas tail before she even had a chance to look at the full moon and she lets out a little yelp.

"Darn... And I was getting used to it too."

"S-Sis?"

"I'm okay Kale. Just... a bit tired."

With the help of her "sister" Caulifla managed to crawl onto the couch with Kale and the two girls were soon fast asleep, their synchronized snoring was almost what you'd call cute. But you didn't pay much attention to them. Instead you looked at the tail in your hand, or more accurately past it and into your palm. "Vados..." You spoke up.

"Yes?"

"You said Champa wished my planet back.

Is that something exclusive to a god?"

"No. Anyone can do it. Why? Are you planning something?"

You close your palm into a fist. "No."

But before you could say any more or before Vados could question you further something gets your attention. The door is opening.

"Damn it Dominika! I asked you! I asked you again and again if you closed the door!

And what was your answer?! "YES BLYAT!"

And look at this! You even left the lights on! If the landlord doesn't kill you I WILL!" Two people step in and when they look at you they freeze in place. "E-Eric?"

"THERE YOU ARE CYKA!"

"Sam. Domi."

Your friend points at you in anger as he tosses his beanie on the ground. "DON'T YOU SAM ME YOU SONOVA! Do you have any idea how worried I was? Not to mention how much shit I had to take from the landlord because of you! We even called the police for FUCKS sake! You were declared missing! Where the HELL did you disappear to?" He takes a closer look at you. "Holy shit... what happened to you? Did you get locked in a Gym all this time and the only way you could get out was lifting? How did you get jacked?!"

You look at your arms and realize, now that he mentions it that your arms a bit more muscular than they used to. Looking over your shoulder you see that Vados has withdrawn herself so that your flatmates don't see her immediately. Taking a deep breath you start weighing your options.

"Because Domi said she saw you with some blue chick and a furry so you must've joined some sort of a cult and I told her to cut it out with the Monster already because it's clearly rotting her brai-"

"Actually. She isn't wrong. Technically.

Those two... yeah they were aliens. Yeah, those exist and they came to Earth for our food. Also, Superpowers are real. Get used to it."

Sam starts to smile. "Okay, really funny. But you can cut that shit out!"

You extend your arm towards a glass of water and start levitating it. "Cut out what?"

Letting out a chuckle Sam walks up to it.

"Yeah. Not falling for that trick again!" He touches the bottom of the glass and starts pulling on it. "I'll see the thread real soon..."

With a relatively quick motion he lowers the glass and shows it to you. "HA! See?"

You then give a passing glance to the area where the glass was floating mid air a second ago. Without realizing it himself Sam looks in that direction and he goes dead fucking silent as his mouth hangs open. The glass slips out from between his fingers and almost hits the ground before you catch it with your psychic powers. Almost immediately afterwards the two of them start going at it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Shhhhh!" You order them. "My friends are sleeping!"

They clamp each others mouths shut and look nervously at the couch where they see the two girls. Letting out a simultaneous sigh of relief they speak up. "I thought they were gonna be aliens..."

"They are." You answer them and they lean in to take a closer look.

"They look like girls." Sam observes. "Hot girls. Is that what awaits us in space? Sweet!"

"Sam. Don't... They can kill you. And I don't mean in "You piss them off and they kill you".

I mean they are so strong and your puny human body is so weak that if they lock their legs around you during sex and forget about themselves for a picosecond you'll shit and vomit out all your internal organs in an instant."

"...Is it weird that I want it more now?"

"Kinda." Domi observes.

"Then... What about the catman and the blue chick?"

"I'm here!" Vados speaks up and steps into the limelight.

"H-Holy shit!"

"Vados meet Sam. You already met Dominika.

This is Vados. She's an angel. By the way, this is what an angel looks like."

"A pleasure!" Vados bows.

"Madame!" Sam steps up but before he could go in and attempt to kiss the hands of your master you slap him on the head. "OW!"

"No Sam. Be respectful of the angel. Oh... and... the "catman" you saw. He's my new boss. He's also god."

"So... you deliver pizza for God now? And God is a cat? That makes way too much sense now that I think about it."

"Actually I'm his new chef."

"You?" Dominika asks. "Cyka you can barely cook!"

"HEY! It's good enough for God so suck my dick! Oh and I almost forgot-" You reach into your pocket and pull out a thick envelope and slap it on the table. "This is the rent for the next six months. I didn't mean to bail on you like that, I assume the landlord gave you some shit for that. Sorry. In turn you can keep anything beyond the six months worth. I didn't count but there are surely a couple hundred in there."

"What-"

"The-"

"Shit?!" They say as they count the fat stack of cash. "Where did you get THIS?!"

"I pawned a gold bar. And not a small one either. One so thick you can kill a person with.

The kind you find in Fort Knox."

"H-Holy piss..." Dominika says.

"Duuuuude... Hey would it be possible-"

You know what he's asking for and what he wants.

"I mean... I'm in no position to teach you.

I'm not about to set your organs on fire because I made an 'oopsie' dude, maybe when I know what the hell I'm doing.

So let's leave it at that."

"SWEET!" They both jump up and do a high five in the air.

"Now then... Let's see, where is it?" You start looking over the cupboards for your secret stash. "AHA! There's my whiskey! Okay Vados. Can we go? Or should we wait for the girls?"

"It's enough if you touch them."

"Alright. Sorry about the mess guys but this isn't how I wanted to handle it. When I come back we can chat a bit more. But I can't exactly leave the girls like this. Not after one of them just turned into a giant monkey."

"WAIT! THAT WAS YOU?!"

"Y-You saw?"

"Everybody did! It was on the news! We thought King fucking Kong just appeared!"

"Riiiight. Now you see why I'm hesitant.

Anyway, see ya!"

Grabbing onto the girls you let Vados touch your shoulder and in a pillar of light you all disappeared, leaving the humans at a loss for words as reality finally started to settle in.

"Domi... Do you have a little green?"

"Yeah... I was about to suggest it..."