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Some wonder about the secrets of the world they live in.

I'm no different, I hope to discover new places and people so that I will someday not regret dying.

When I see how depressing my own town is I begin to wonder,

Is every town the same?

Or is mine special?

Being special does not always mean a good thing.

A special lock can keep things safe more efficiently, but can also prevent the owner from retrieving them if he somehow losses the key.

When one tells a story, sooner or later they would present themselves.

"Hello, my name is blah, blah

I'm the demon lord and I like to suck di-"

...

Anyways, I read a bunch of stories where the main character somehow gets everything and everyone.

The type of story where one goes from zero to an astronomical number.

I, however, do not have a self, or more precisely I do not recognize any trait that my personality has as a defining feature of my own person.

When a leaf falls next to the other ones would you look at that one and think

"This one is special because I have seen it fall, so it has a defining feature that the other leaves don't have"

and so on.

My name does not matter, my age does though, I am 17 years now.

Which means in 1 year I have to go and earn my own bread and find a wife.

The other people have done the same.

Even if there is a risk of finding more than one partner when searching for one, everyone still takes the risk.

I don't understand their concept of love.

They feel attraction toward their partner's body.

Sometimes is the opposite.

The shallowness everyone complains about.

One should not judge by looks but by brain and wits.

And yet my whole surroundings are filled with shallow people.

My own parents are such people, they believe in judging the character first, yet they change their minds at the slightest temptation.

Sometimes I think my uniqueness is a mutation that has to be fixed, some disease that has to be cured.

My own consciousness was to be rewritten again so that I could become "normal".

---

Autumn shows its presence through her rusty leaves.

However, the cherry tree in the middle of the forest stays pink forevermore.

Since I was born I thought that there existed gods.

More goddesses than gods for some reason.

There seems to be favoritism towards the female gender.

Such a thing doesn't matter that much to me since I was mostly ignored till now.

My looks are average and my personality is considered boring.

Not even the kindest woman would be able to resist falling asleep while being in my boresome presence.

I feel alone, yet I cannot find an excuse to explain my plainness.

I feel like I gained consciousness when I wasn't supposed to.

My brain was filled with all the knowledge I needed to continue my life.

There wasn't any need to be taught anything.

I look at the yellow sky as a light cherry breeze brings me back to reality.

The place I was in the desert, the sound the forest made, suddenly muted.

I started at the tall tree and cleared my head.

I walked towards it and lay with my back against the thick baseline.

I caught a falling petal and started smelling it.

The day was coming to an end, the night goddess blessed the earth with her presence.

I was still there, like a forgotten doll.

Lying in one place until someone would come to retrieve it.

For me, however, such a thing is pure fantasy.

I have already noticed this world is weird.

I don't have a lot of memories, however, I feel like I've lived this life multiple times.

In a boring world governed by silence, a single spark is able to ignite life once more.

I am not the one to achieve such a thing, I am not a significant weel in this silent clock.

When the man extends his hand towards the woman, as she takes it she feels happiness.

His touch brings her joy, his eyes piercing hers as she feels her body getting hot.

His mouth spits sweet words in her ears as she blushes and nods from time to time.

As I see the small lanterns lift up in the sky, I imagine the ideal scenario where I would be able to meet my other half.

My mediocrity bounds me as the powerlessness finds its way into my bones again.

I know.

I muttered as the familiar feeling came once again.

Every time I try to motivate myself to go and work a way to find her.

My body becomes soft as a voice seemingly whispers into my ears.

"You are a worthless being, stop trying and respect the scenario"

I lift my hand and aim it at the sky.

The information I had on this world was put into my head as I was made to respect a pattern.

I sometimes ask the people that are supposed to be my parents.

Why if the gods are as powerful as you say they are, do they choose to ignore our wishes and leave us to suffer?

Why does the goddess of the night bring shadows to hide monsters?

Why does the day goddess only respect a certain schedule, when a second would be all it took to save a life?

Heaven is filled with gods and deities, yet

Our prayers remain unanswered.

Why?Why?WHY?

I complain inside my heart as my eyes begin to water.

Are our lives less important than the chosen ones?

Is my life so worthless that I deserve to die?!

I struggle to keep my eyes dry as water continues to pour out.

I have prayed.

Countless times, and none answered.

After sobbing for over 10 minutes I pass out from exhaustion.

The usually windy night became a little tame as a warm breeze comes and goes to warm the boy's body.

His long hair fluttered softly, as his breathing became a bit erratic.

He seemed to be in a nightmare.

His hands moved and his body twitched from time to time.

Only...after a few seconds, a green humanoid being slowly formed out of leaves and branches.

The body becomes slowly feminine as her facial features are created.

A dryad showed her presence yet again after so many years of slumber, awoken by the sadness felt by this human