Chapter 1

Four years ago

“Beau, get your lazy ass out of bed. I have the afternoon off.” Jack Romano went to the fridge and grabbed a beer and with a smile in his voice he continued, “Unless, of course, that’s where you’d like us to spend our afternoon…Beau? Where are you? Beau?”

Jack walked back to the bedroom of his and Beau’s apartment following the sound of voices. Figuring it was one of the soccer team, Jack walked through the door and glanced around looking for his man. He found him. Beau was fucking Meredith Simmons in their bed.

“I’m sorry that you had to find out like this, Jack. I’ve been trying to tell you, but…” Beau got out of bed and started to dress.

“Tell me what? What is this?” Jack’s voice broke. “This is a mistake. You’re gay. We’ve been together since high school.”

“Meredith, get dressed. We’ll be in the living room. Finish your beer, Jack.”

“No, I don’t want to fucking finish my beer. I want to know what’s going on.”

“It’s pretty straight forward, I’m in love with Meredith and I’m going to marry her.”

“Honey, I’m leaving so you can get this mess straightened out. Don’t let him corrupt you again.” Meredith let herself out, the door closing quietly behind her.

“How long?” Jack asked needing to know.

“Six months, maybe more.”

“But we made love yesterday.”

“We fucked yesterday. Let’s get down to business. Meredith and I would like this apartment so we’d appreciate it if you found somewhere else to live.”

“No fucking way…it’s my name on the lease, and you’re the one who’s leaving.”

“You’ll be sorry you’re doing this. I was planning on seeing you on the side once Meredith and I are married. You know I love you but I can’t get ahead at work being a fag, I need a wife.”

“No, you’re wrong. Gays are accepted everywhere. Please, we can work this out.”

“We can’t. I won’t put my future in jeopardy.”

“You’re gay. You aren’t going to change that.”

“Actually, I’m bi.” Beau came up to put his arms around Jack. “You love me. We’ll talk about all of this when I get back.”

Jack broke Beau’s hold and with tears streaming down his cheeks said, “Get the hell out of my apartment. You can move out tomorrow. I’ll sort out your things tonight.”

“You can’t do that.”

“As I said, my name is on the lease. Get the fuck out. You’re leaving me.”

“Jack, be reasonable, we can be together when I come home from the honeymoon. We’ll have to sneak around but—”

“Do you really think I’m capable of that? Helping you cheat? No, just no.”

“You’ll change your mind when I come home. I’ll be back.”

“Get the fuck out, get out of here, right now.” Jack’s voice broke again.

Beau slammed the door on his way out.

Jack sat down on the sofa that he and Beau picked out for the living room seven months ago, put his head in his hands and wept.

“Beau, Beau, how can I live without you? But I can’t be with you as long as you’re with her.”

* * * *

Bobby and Keith’s house

Thursday in June, four years later

Eight in the morning

Jack was distraught when he came back to Bobby’s. Carlo was with him.

“They’re not doing anything to you because you shot Billy are they?” Reggie asked obviously worried. Reggie and Mark were staying with Bobby because of the fire.

“No, but any officer-involved shooting requires a hearing. The captain already called it a good shoot. The rest of the procedure is all technicalities…” Jack still had storm clouds over his face.

He and Carlo sat down at the kitchen table and Marla poured them some coffee. Jack appeared dumbstruck.

He finally blurted out, “Meredith died in childbirth three days ago.” Jack’s voice broke. “She had a little girl. Beau killed himself yesterday and left custody of the infant to me in a new will he made after Meredith died. They tried to contact me yesterday, but I was busy with the Billy business. I have to go sign paperwork at Social Services if I accept custody. No one has been there for the baby for three days. Carlo’s going with me to identify Beau at the morgue.”

“Why do you have to identify him?” Bobby was incensed.

“There isn’t anyone else.” Jack’s shoulders shook.

“I have to go see her at the hospital if I accept custody. There is no family. If I don’t take her, she’ll go into the foster system. I have to make up my mind right away.”

“What?” Bobby screeched in anger.