Prologue

Freedom at last!

Vacation has come.

After a rough week at work, I finally have the time to play my favorite game.

STELLARIS!

A superb interstellar empire management game where you start as Star Trek and end with Warhammer 40k. A game where you lead your empire through various scientific advancements, unity, and peac-....Oh..wait...

(*#!) - "Your sickening species is a definite proof the universe has a sense of humor, Terran."

The Bumerian Bandit Kingdom just insulted me....Eh...I will show them my empire's pacifistic ways....

by FORCE!

*Click Icon, select 'Declare War'*

Ah.... it is always so nice to introduce someone to the ways of the pacifist... like that time on Civ 1 when Gandhi himself introduced me to his ways of the nuke.

While I wait for the game to progress, I logged into my spacebattles account on a new browser tab to check for updates on my followed stories...

Meh... no updates.

Sufficient Velocity... meh still no updates...

QuestionableQuesting....STILL NO UPDATES!!!

No updates for a week. This week is bad and my day is ruined. Terrible week.

I was about to close the QQ tab when my attention was drawn into a sizeable ad at the corner named (POWER, POWER, POWA) with a picture of a skimpy Eldar in a bikini.

Hey! don't judge.... I find Space Elves incredibly sexy, and as I am a man of kultur, I clicked on it.

Horrible decision...

It was followed by an opening of an age-old nightmare..... a small window of a teleporting browser pop-up....of a huge spinning dong, looping with the music "You spin me round"

cue: googlehammer

What the fuuuuuuu...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!AAAA... damn you Slaaneshi internet trolls!!!

I immediately scrambled to press the X button futilely on the window several times until I face slapped myself for the idiocy of not using the task manager immediately.

Remember folks, if all else fails, use the task manager.

'Ctrl+Shift+Delete, click on the window named "Just as planned", then click 'End Task'' Easy peasy...

Then the pop-up disappeared and a new window appeared.

'WRITE YOUR OWN POWAS (MAX: 5)'

The new window has a subsequent character sheet with only three elements... Name, Gender, and Power/s in which I quickly filled.

Name: Dov Dunderbaus

Gender: Male

Power/s: Total Biomancy Control (Warp), Primarch Physiology + Biological PA Commander with full Database of Stellaris and PA tech, Had full knowledge and use of all Harry Potter magic branches (Wizard), Total Immunity to Chaotic Influence.

And....done... Then I clicked 'Submit' and the popup disappeared.

I was about to Alt+Tab back to my Stellaris game when a Blindingly bright pop-up shows up with GOLDEN WORDS in tow.

'I WILL WATCH YOUR CAREER WITH GREAT INTEREST'

'YOURS SINCERELY'

'ROB'

My thoughts on this were kind of scrambled:

1. Wait wut?

2. Who's ROB?

3. This is a joke....

Then the light from the pop-up steadily shines brighter and brighter until it encompasses my whole room.

What I felt can only be summed up in one meme.

*Chuckes* I'm in danger...

Then everything went black.