A life of losses and gains

I once lived in a nightmare, when I was no more a beast than those roaming the jungles, when I was treated lesser than those who did not have my parts and when I felt as though the dwindling days were nothing more but a mere clock, slowly counting down to the end where I could close my eyes and feel no more.

This had always been the life of a beastkin, born with the tails and ears of beasts that roamed the world. Never had a day gone by where we were treated as nothing more than mere pets by the humans. If not hunted for sport or a false crime, chains wrapped our arms and presented as items on a stage, our bodies fully exposed to the world.

I was no different, I was taken from my home after a night of bloodshed and was sold off to this lord who had the body and face of a frog. Wrinkles and pimples covered his cheeks, his eyes full of never-ending lust and his body was heavy and large that it nearly suffocated me during nights in which I accompanied him. This man, who took my chain from the pen, used me as his toy... he took my purity and innocence.

I was young, I was no woman, my body had yet to fully develop... yet I felt the organ of a man enter me and I was treated to the surge of pain one should receive from their beloved, not a lustful creature.

Those wretched years went by and after many torturous nights, I was freed from his grasp and taken to a village, far away from the humans. There, I lived a peaceful life in the country alongside my kin, laughing, dancing and singing. It was there my new life began, one which I could call my own, one away from all the nightmares which I suffered during my childhood and adolescence.

More years soon passed and I fell in love, married, and had a child we named Elurra. She was my light, alongside my husband. But such freedom and joy could only last for so long for beastkins, and the nightmare I once lived through, once again came to lead me to take away everything I held dear.

Under the fall of snow, I found myself once again witnessing a siege conducted by a couple of bandits in the dead of the night. I watched as the raging flames devoured our homes, I listened to the cries of my friends fade into the night and once again I had to bear the loss of my people at the hands of monsters.

But even with my trauma slowly taking hold of my mind, I could not allow it to cloud my judgement, for I was no longer alone. Beside me, just as afraid as I was, was Elurra.

With her eyes fixated on the scene before her, she trembled in fear while her tiny fingers clutched my sleeve tightly.

It was like looking at a reflection of myself, I too shook when I watched the bodies of my kin pile on top of one another as their blood dripped to the earth. I remembered this very same fear, trapped my legs to where I stood, and the feeling of helplessness caged my pounding heart.

I knew all too well what my daughter felt, and I knew that if I left things as they were, she would fall to the same fate that I had. So, with every ounce of strength I had, I steeled my heart and grabbed Elurra before running into the thickets of the snow-clad forest.

My legs froze beneath the blanket of snow and from afar I could hear the galloping of their horses and their whistling arrows as they echoed through the air. I tried to ignore such noises and continued to sprint down through the thickets of snow, but soon my breath became ragged and I stumbled with every step. Still, despite the pain that surged through my calves, I pushed forth blindly so that I could prevent a nightmarish fate to befall my daughter.

Soon the noises stop and I thought I had found safety, but to my horror, that was nothing more than a mere illusion crafted by my mind. Cold steel and wood dug through my flesh, the sudden surge of pain freezing my leg in place, stopping my stride and causing me to tumble along with Elurra onto a small ravine.

I laid in the ravine covered in snow, my eyes drooping as the fatigue began to slowly lead me to slumber.

In my mind I told myself that there was no use in running, they would find me with their steeds, this was enough. I had lived a life of joy in the village, so I had no regrets and if death or some other wretched fate were to befall me then, I had no qualms.

"Mommy!"

When that cry entered my ears, my eyes shot open and I remembered I was not alone.

How could I have forgotten? Resting on my lap, gazing up at me with teary eyes was the reason I was running. How could I, her mother, just forget about her and be ready to surrender? With newfound strength, I pushed myself to my feet and took her hand into mine before pulling her along as we raced deeper into the woods.

My clothes were soaked in blood, my vision began to blur and I could feel the cold slowly chip away at my very being, but I refused to stop.

If I couldn't live, at least Elurra could.

"There they are!"

What followed these words were a series of arrows that rained down on us like hail, a couple scratched my little girl, but I quickly took her in my arms to shield her from any further attacks. And shield her I did, as several arrows dug into my legs and back, but such hindrances didn't stop me, I was determined to save Elurra, even if it took my last breath.

However, such heroics only lasted for so long and the pain finally did its mark. I slipped down into a small trench and there my body gave up. There, all I could do was hug my daughter tightly in hopes we would not get caught. But fate was a cruel thing, as I heard a gun cocking behind me.

I tightly held Elurra closer to me, I did not want the girl to witness such a frightening display and maybe, just maybe, she could hide under my corpse afterwards. Fighting was not an option anyways, I was tired, bleeding and numb, what more could I do?

Well, in what seemed like my final moments, when I could feel the barrel of the gun lock onto me, in one last act of desperation, I prayed for something, anything, to save us. But such a cry was nothing but futile in my mind, so I surrendered my heart and readied for the sound of gunpowder rip through the air as my life leaves my body.

"Hey what the-?"

A scream then followed. I could hear the sound of flesh being cut, then the guttural cries of dying humans.

Then, nothing. Silence fell on me and a single thought ran through my head.

"What happened?"

Heavy footsteps then began to crunch the snow behind me and each step filled my heart with dread. If it was another human, it could've been just another bandit, which meant I wasn't safe, but in the instance it wasn't and instead they were there to help me, then maybe I could be saved, but I doubted such a thought, who would come to the forest in the night and heavy snowfall?

"Hey, are you ok?"

A male voice said. But I dared not to move or speak, I feared if I showed a semblance of hope, that it would have crashed down on me seconds later.

"Hey, don't go dying on me yet!"

What's this? He had not shot at me, no blade had yet to pierce my heart. It was a gamble, one full of fear, but I ignored such feelings and slowly turned my head behind me and almost immediately I could feel the colour leave my body.

"Are you alright miss?"

In front of me, his hand outstretched, was a shadowy figure shrouded in tattered clothes, blades resting on his back, while guns were holstered at his side and his face was hidden behind a gas mask with crimson lenses. I could only imagine what sort of visage was kept behind that mask.

"It's not safe here, why don't we leave before more come?"

I stared at his hand, somewhat in doubt, but after I considered the corpses I could just about see behind him and the fact he had not struck me yet, I thought, either way, I was going to die that night, so it wouldn't hurt to follow a false hope.

I took hold of him and lifted myself onto my feet with his help. I bowed in gratitude but he quickly waved his hands and spouted how it was no problem.

He was a curious individual, he seemed to look like a bandit, hunter or whatever other person wandered around the lands, armed to the teeth and dangerous. But I could not feel any danger in his presence, an odd thing to feel when he slaughtered an entire group of bandits.

"Well, shall we get going? I'll take you somewhere safe."

I stayed in silence and followed him from behind. I could not read this man's intentions, he came with the wind, killed my pursuers and now we were together, treading through snow leading to an unknown goal.

My heart raced and my eyes were firmly placed on him. I did not trust him, I wanted to just run, but where would I go? It was still far until dawn and nature was my greatest enemy in the winter.

I had nothing and nowhere to go.

The night was long, my body felt heavy and my eyes were on the verge of collapse. But through it all, I managed to push through and reach a cottage, not too far from the village I stayed at, yet it was so hidden I did not even know of its existence.

"This isn't my home, but let us stay here for the night until you both have recovered."

That night, the mysterious boy treated our wounds and cooked us a meal in front of the dancing fire. Elurra was glad to be away from the nightmare, she happily ate the food and trusted the boy enough to comfortably sleep while in his presence. However, it was still an ordeal and she fell asleep grasping my hand while calling out for me in a whisper, her voice shaken and afraid.

"My sweet girl."

I kissed my daughter's cheek as a way to comfort her, but also myself. To know my dear child was still beside me, breathing and calling my name was the greatest relief a mother could ask for.

"You should also rest. I'm sure you're just as tired."

The boy urged, preparing another blanket for me, it was tattered but in the situation we were in, it was better than nothing.

"It is fine, I would like to see my sweet girl's face a little longer."

He let out a small chuckle and laid the blanket in front of me before sitting against a wall on the other side of the room, a subtle gesture of harmlessness, but one I appreciated greatly.

However, even if he did what he did out of goodwill, I still could not shake the uncertainty I felt.

"Why did you save us?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you save me and my daughter?"

He was silent for a few passing seconds, he hung his head and chuckled.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

"That is for me to decide."

He turned to me and while I could not see the expression behind the mask, I could tell he seemed entertained by my response.

"You're an interesting one."

"So, will you share your reasons?"

"It's nothing special, I was passing by and saw the fires from a distance and decided to check up on it, then I saw the corpses of the beastkin. It was sickening."

"Why help? Are you not human?"

That word seemed to have stirred something within him, he lightly jolted when I assumed his race. He turned away and just sighed.

"Yes I am."

"So-"

"But, I don't agree with the philosophy that beastkin are lesser than us."

What a surprise, never in my life have I met a human who viewed my race as equals or at least, lesser than they. I did not think it was possible, after all, all my life I was shunned, dismissed and ridiculed for being different.

Men, women, children, it did not matter who they were, so long as they were humans, they all sat above me.

"You are...an oddity."

"Oddity?"

"Humans have always treated beastkin as lesser creatures, yet you came and helped without a second thought."

"Huh, guess I am a weirdo."

"Indeed."

I could not believe such a thing, that there was a human who would not look down on a beastkin. But, he alone slowly changed that view of mine, born from fear that I had gathered through the years. He alone took me away from those dark memories and made me realise the world was changing to one of a new dawn.

We moved from place to place, through night and day we trekked hills and rivers, walked through empty roads with the whistling winds or the singing birds always present for us and climbed many towering mountains to see the vast world we were a part of.

It was a long journey, but one I found to be very enjoyable. Elurra too, as she grew accustomed to travelling, foraging and even hunting.

Truth be told, I did not expect my daughter's life to take the turn it did and at such a young age, but fate worked in mysterious ways and now she was more like her father than her mother.

In this time I also got to know the boy who saved us, he did not show his face to us, but he allowed us to take privy to his name. Which I was glad about as I only addressed him as 'you' or 'hunter.'

"It's Noc, my name."

"Noc huh? Well, it's a pleasure to finally know your name, hunter."

"Took you this long to ask huh?"

"Apologies, it slipped my mind."

"And you?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm Izotza."

"I-zot-za?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"What a mouthful."

"It is not!"

Noc was an interesting fellow, he was foolish and a bit eccentric at times, but he was wise in his own ways, a strong fighter, capable of competing against the strength of many men, a gentle boy who placed his worries on our wellbeing before his own, and a patient teacher who helped Elurra with her studies while on the road.

We were together for some time, helping and caring for one another and before I realised it, my doubts about Noc's kindness had been washed away. I found myself being comfortable around him, chatting the nights away and days away until we finally reached our destination.

Noc told us when we began our journey he would take us somewhere safe, and he did, he took us to a place I dared not imagine in the past. The place where Noc found us solace, was a remote village where man and beastkin lived in harmony.

I was in awe when we entered the place, humans and beastkin, walked beside each other hand-in-hand, they were buying food from the same vendor, entered the same tavern and some were even drinking at the same table.

Never in my life had I entertained the idea, but here I was in the middle of a world where both races could co-exist.

"Quite stunning isn't it Izotza?"

"Yes."

I had not realised it, but tears had begun to run down my face and I could not help but smile.

"Welcome to your new home you two."

My life had been a story of losses and despair, my purity, taken away at a maiden age, my husband most certainly lost in the raid of my village and many times I had given up on living, only wanting the kiss of death to land on my skin. But within those losses, I gained freedom, my daughter and a hope for the future.

To be continued...