Chapter 36

Right after Daddy Tyrone delivered his last message for Sun, my Mom stands next in the rostrum. Mom took a deep breath before she started speaking, "today's the last day that we're gonna seen Sun's body. Never did in my entire life that I'd imagined I'll send my son in his grave. Isn't it ironic? Hindi ba't ang mga anak ang maghahatid sa kanilang mga magulang sa huling hantungan? But, in our situation, it's the other way around...To be honest, hindi ko pa rin tanggap, pero kinakailangan. Sun, I'll always be missing you anak," Mom's tears started falling, "I'll always miss our bondings, kasama 'yong Daddy mo at 'yong kakambal mo...Anak, don't forget to be in Mom's dreams always. Kahit doon lang...kahit doon lang kita makita, masaya na ako...Anak, I love you so much," she went out of the rostrum and Dad hugged her immediately. Pinuntahan ko na rin siya at saka ko siya niyakap. Nagbalik lang ako sa sarili nang magsalita si Veia.

"Sun," she smiled and wiped her tears. She's been crying. I hope that after this day magpahinga muna siya at itigil muna ang kakaiyak. I've never seen her smile and heard her laughter, "I always thought that you're so unfair...kasi 'di ba simula nang maging tayo ipinangako mo na ikaw 'yong lalaking papakasalanan ko, na ikaw 'yong lalaking kasama kong mag-aalaga sa mga anak natin."

I looked away. Nasasaktan pa rin ako, damn this!

"Pero, ngayon, you left me. After making countless memories together, you left me...After making me happy with all those concerns, good mornings, good nights, random saying of I miss you and I love you, you left me... At kahit kailan, 'di ka na 'yon muling maririnig mula sa'yo... Pero, I'd realized, you weren't unfair...in fact, you're the best boyfriend in the world. Sun, alam kong nakikinig ka, you no longer have to worry because I promise you, I'll always take care of myself...I miss you so much and I love you so much," she ended her message and I hugged her too soon.

After Veia, kung sinu-sino nang tumayo sa rostrum. Si Lola, mga Tito at Tita ko, si Shaira, even si Eya, our classmates, teachers, and some of our friends, but there's one person left. I looked at her, but she just smiled, shaking her head.

"You go," I said without making a noise.

"Ikaw na," she replied.

"Sige na, Sky, you go up," Veia said.

I looked at Hillary again, but she just gestured me to go to the rostrum. I sighed as I went there. I get the microphone and ready my hanky. "First of all, I just want to extend my gratitude to all these people who're here until Sun's burial. Maraming salamat sa hindi pag-iwan sa'min," I saw them smiled at me, then I continued my words, "my Twin is indeed near into your heart and I am very happy knowing about it. Well, Sun is really kind and he's always the best person to be with, though in the past, he really was a jerk. He always took advantage of his looks," some of them laugh, including our parents, Hillary, and those girls he had a not-serious relationship, "Twin, I'm not messing up your name, okay? I'm just stating facts here," if only Sun's here, he's probably giving me a death glare, "but, I'm really happy when he'd change because of Veia, he'd finally realized that girls should be loved truly," though realizing that he has feelings for her is one the most painful thought that hits me, "I'd seen how much happy he was whenever he's telling me what happened for the whole day that they're together. He's really so in love, no doubt. But, despite having a new person who makes him happy he never did forget about us, he never forgets to spare time for us to have some bonding together with our parents," this time, my tears are now falling, "Sun is my companion since then...He never leaves my side...He always comes along with my trip. He never failed to listen to my dramas...And, even in worst situations, he's always there...I was admitted for several times because of my heart condition, and whenever we can't go home early since we're in the hospital, he always made a story for our parents not to worry," I looked at them, who're seriously listening to me, "I'm sorry, Mom, Dad, for not telling you about it," they just smiled at me, "hindi ko man lang napansin na mas malala pa pala 'yong karamdaman niya kaysa sa sa'kin...He was really good at hiding it...But now, that he finally got his peaceful sleep, I also placed in an easement...though it hurts me to death...I need to accept it...Sun, I'm sorry if there were times in your whole wake that I cried and I'm sorry that I am crying again. I know that you don't want us to feel sad and keep on crying, pero kahit ngayon lang, Twin, hayaan mo 'kong umiyak nang umiyak," I stopped and I burst in tears. Agad akong pinuntahan ni Mommy at niyakap.

"Sky, calm down. Iyong puso mo, anak, hindi pa 'yan tuluyang gumagaling," she whispered.

After a moment, I'd stopped crying, "let me continue, Mom," I uttered.

"Go on, but please, think about your condition, ha?" she reminded and I just nodded.

"I'll just end my message, Twin," I continued. "You know that I miss you so much and I will always do. Hindi ko alam kung paano kong haharapin ang bukas na wala ka na, Sun," I bit my lower lip as I looked above to hold back my tears, "hindi ko alam kung paano akong mag a-adjust. I don't know what should I feel if I'll see things that would remind me of you...But, one thing's for sure, Twin, I never do promises, but this time I promise you, I'll always take care of myself and the people you love," I put down the microphone and walked closer to his coffin. I smiled as I saw him. He looks like he's sleeping. He looks so handsome as always. And, he looks so happy. I hugged his coffin as I said, "I love you so much, Sun, no one could ever replace you. You're the best twin in the world."

***

We're now at the cemetery at mas lalong dumami 'yong mga tao. I'm with my parents and Veia, and I hardly can find Hillary. Hindi ko alam kung andito siya o baka umalis na. Hay!

I am holding Sun's picture as we're heading through his grave. Akala ko nga hindi na kami iiyak, pero ang hirap talagang pigilan. I'm sorry, Twin.

After vocal music was performed, the Priest then says, "we are gathered here to say farewell to Sun Abellera and to commit him into the hands of God. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Lord our God, you are the source of life. In you, we live and move and have our being. Keep us in life and death in your love, and, by your grace, lead us to your kingdom, Through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord..."

"...amen," we all said in a chorus.

Time fly so fast and the coffin is now carried out. The service continues as the coffin is lowered into the grave. We then all headed there to say our farewell. Sina Mommy at Daddy ang unang naghulog ng bulaklak, followed by Veia-who never stops crying-our relatives and many more, and I am the last.

"Ihulog mo na, Sky, so that the ceremony can now continue," Dad whispered.

I roamed around, trying to see her, and at last I saw Hillary, holding a white rose as she's walking through here, "goodbye, Sun, thank you for the memories," she uttered and dropped the flower.

She was about to leave, but I held her hand, "stay. Sun wants you to stay," I said.

With confusion, she said, "ha?"

"Never noticed this?" I pointed the butterfly in her shoulder. Nakita ko na 'yan kanina habang naglalakad siya. "So, stay," I uttered again. Lumapit na akong muli sa coffin ni Sun, "Twin, dalawin mo 'ko lagi, ha? Never gets missing if I need someone to talk to. Please, still be there in my ups and downs. I love you, Sun, and I will always do," then, I dropped the white rose.

The priest goes to the graveside and reads the final prayer, "give him, o Lord, your peace and let your eternal light shine upon him..."

We all said, "Amen."

He continued, "let us go in the peace of the Lord."

Lord God, take care of my Twin. I love you both. See you soon.