Chapter 76: Colonel Rhodes

A/N: A Rhodey POV! Been a while...

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Rhodey wakes up slowly, to the sound of raised voices.

"I've already told you, Agent Carter. I'm not a damn robot! That was simply what Tony let Fury and you all believe because the truth was far more ridiculous!"

"And you expect me to just believe you when you have us all restrained like this?!"

"You are restrained for your own safety as well as the safety of those around you. Once I'm sure you'll be reasonable, I will release you."

It takes the Colonel a second to figure out what the last thing he remembers is. But when he does, his eyes shoot open and he tries to jump out of the chair he's in, only to find that his wrists and ankles are locked in place by large metal bands. Which isn't good, because the last thing James Rhodes remembers is being on a mission for the Army as War Machine… and his suit going dark on him. Only moments later, everything had gone dark for him.

Had someone figured out a way to hack into Tony's technology? Had he been captured by terrorists? Honestly, Rhodey was more afraid of terrorists like the Ten Rings getting access to the War Machine suit than he was worried about himself. That sort of technology didn't belong in the hands of anyone who would abuse it.

… Only, when he finally gets over his initial burst of panic and looks around himself, he finds the situation to be really, really strange. Rather than the foreign lands of the country he'd been operating in when he'd been conscious last… Rhodey finds himself sitting in what looks like an old American Farmhouse.

On top of that, standing in front of him are three people who look like your quintessential Americans… albeit insanely buff quintessential Americans. The two men, between the beards, flannels, and blue jeans, have the look of farmers to them. Meanwhile, the woman is… hang on a second.

"Err… Penny? Penny Carter? Tony's assistant?"

He had only talked to Tony's latest PA once or twice. Not nearly enough to develop a rapport with her. Now he was wondering if maybe she was some sort of traitor. Did they not even want War Machine? Did they just want him to get to Tony?

"Colonel Rhodes, you've regained consciousness. Excellent, how are you feeling?"

Looking down at his restraints, Rhodey raises an eyebrow and responds with as much dryness in his voice as he can.

"A little tied up at the moment."

To his immense surprise Penny Carter smiles.

"Let me take care of that for you."

A moment later and the large metal bands leave his wrists and ankles, freeing him. Rhodey immediately hops out of the chair before she can change her mind of course, rubbing at his wrists. At the same time however, his release prompts a protest from one of the other three 'prisoners', the one who was talking before when he first woke up.

"Oh, so Stark's best friend immediately gets released but we're supposed to trust you, is that it?"

Looking over the others, and then at Penny, Rhodey has to admit… it's a solid point. But Penny just smiles.

"First, introductions. Colonel Rhodes, these are Agents Sharon Carter and Clint Barton, as well as Commander Maria Hill. All of them are with SHIELD. You all know Colonel James Rhodes, of course. Second, while Colonel Rhodes is a soldier and a capable combatant when he's in the War Machine Suit, he does not currently have access to said suit. He's also not likely to go off of the reservation and do something stupid like you are, Agent Carter."

Rhodey blinks. Was he just insulted and complimented in the same breath? Finally turning to him, Penny gives him a stoic nod.

"I should properly introduce myself now, Colonel. I'm Captain Peggy Carter. I was born in 1921, in another dimension. In 1943, when things went wrong for my Steve Rogers, I wound up being injected with the Super Soldier Serum in his place. In 1945, when my Red Skull foolishly summoned an eldritch horror from beyond our reality, I was forced to sacrifice myself to push it back through the portal. At which point, I found myself expelled back into a different version of my world… this world. Also in 1945, I landed on the Valkyrie while Captain Steve Rogers here was fighting your version of Red Skull. Together, we defeated him and then sunk the bomber so the explosives on board couldn't be used to hurt anyone else. Then, in 2011, your friend Tony Stark fished Steve and I out of the ice and resuscitated us, which is how we stand before you today."

… Jesus fucking Christ, did the woman not need to breathe or something? No, from the look of things she just had the most impressive lung capacity that Rhodey had ever seen. As she sucks in a deep breath after spewing all of that exposition at him, Rhodey takes a moment to process her words and try to figure out how to respond. In the end… he's at a loss.

"I… I see? I think?"

Smiling sympathetically, the now correctly identified alternate version of Peggy Carter then gestures to the dark-haired man next to the man who she'd just labeled as the original Captain America.

"To finish up the introductions, this here is Bucky Barnes. Yes, that Bucky Barnes. He unfortunately didn't get to spend the entirety of the last seventy years on ice like Steve and I. Instead, he was kept in a state of cryostasis most of the time with the Super Soldier Serum keeping him young until those who had him needed to take him out of storage to… complete missions for them."

There was clearly a lot more to it than that. A LOT more if the look that Bucky Barnes was giving him was any indication. Maybe more than Rhodey wanted to know. Rather than pry, the Colonel just swallows and gives Bucky a nod.

"Sergeant Barnes."

Looking relieved, Barnes responds quietly.

"Colonel."

"Ridiculous… we're supposed to believe all of that shit when it's obvious you're just incredibly life-like androids that Stark created in his off time?"

Agent Carter's scowl seems to be permanently affixed to her face, Rhodey notes, even as Peggy looks to the blonde with a sigh.

"The whole 'robot' scheme was Tony's idea of refuge in audacity. The entire point behind it was that it was far more believable than the truth. Besides, if we really were androids, we would have no reason to lie to Colonel Rhodes about our nature. He is, as you already mentioned, Tony's best friend."

While it was nice to hear, Rhodey was really starting to doubt it. Maybe it was just because he was feeling left out… but Jesus Christ Tony, what was with these secrets? Designing a new weapon and not wanting to show it to Rhodey was one thing. But American War Heroes from World War Two and apparently different dimensions?!

Agent Carter scowls at Peggy's words, seemingly not able to find a way to refute them. However, the final nail in the coffin comes when Peggy places a hand on her abdomen.

"Besides, if I was a robot as you claim I am, I would not currently be two months pregnant."

That sends a ripple of shock through the room. Even Peggy's backup give her bewildered looks. But the self-proclaimed Captain Carter holds her head high, weathering the scrutiny from all comers.

"The facts are what they are whether you like it or not, Sharon Carter. I am not your Great Aunt. You are not my Great Niece. But nor am I a robotic replica of your relative. I am a different Peggy Carter from a different world altogether… and I just got done saving your life. You're welcome."

Okay, Rhodey had officially reached the end of his patience. Stepping forward, he draws everyone's attention.

"Can we back up for a moment? Let's set aside all the bombshells for a second and all of these reveals that are making me feel like I'm in some sort of Soap Opera. What is actually going on here? Like not with the identities, but in the actual immediate moment with me being knocked out while I was in the War Machine Armor halfway across the world, only to wake up here in this place. What is happening? Where is Tony?"

Peggy's face softens.

"Apologies Colonel Rhodes, but Tony is currently very busy, otherwise he would be here to explain all of this himself I'm sure. Unfortunately, there are eyes on him that he can't simply ignore at this point in time. Enemy eyes. As for what happened to you… you've been declared MIA, presumed KIA. Alexander Pierce, Secretary of the World Security Council, ordered your death. Tony intervened to make sure it only appeared as though you died."

Rhodey's eyes widen at that. Before he can ask for clarification, one of the other tied up SHIELD Agents speaks up. The one Peggy had called Commander Maria Hill.

"Director Fury is really dead though. Isn't he?"

Looking back to Maria, Peggy at least has the good grace to look sorry as she nods.

"Yes. Director Nick Fury was the first casualty in the shadow war that Secretary Pierce started this week over the eminent launch of Project Insight. He was already dead by the time Tony knew that Pierce was moving to clean house. Unfortunately, while Tony was able to secure you four, he could not do the same for Fury."

Commander Hill's jaw clenches.

"I was on my way from New York to DC by quinjet when I found myself surrounded by the Iron Legion. They ripped my bird apart and sent me to certain death. I don't understand how I survived."

"JARVIS intervened. As far as the Iron Legion, Pierce, and HYDRA are concerned, you are dead Commander Hill. We want to keep them in the dark on that subject for as long as we possibly can, so that Tony has the best possible chance of taking them down."

No one else looks surprised, so Rhodey assumes that they'd already discussed some of this beforehand. Still, he can't just let it pass unaddressed.

"I'm sorry, did you say HYDRA?"

When Peggy looks to him again, her expression is now sharp and intense. Focused, in a word.

"Yes, Colonel Rhodes. Secretary Pierce is HYDRA. More than fifty percent of SHIELD are HYDRA. Tony has been working on a project for the World Security Council for some time now called Project Insight. Only, he eventually found out that HYDRA, through Secretary Pierce, were going to coopt Project Insight and use it to take over the world. He's been working to stop them ever since."

Jesus fucking Christ Tony… what have you gotten yourself into?

Agent Carter scoffs at this, rolling her eyes in disbelief. However, before she can pipe up with another caustic response, the last of the three restrained SHIELD Agents finally breaks his silence. Clint Barton, if Rhodey recalls correctly. The man has been quiet this entire time, staring out the nearby window at the fields outside the farmhouse. Until now.

"Hey… where are we, exactly? Where is this safehouse located?"

"Oh please, as if they'll tell us any-!"

"Iowa."

Peggy cuts Agent Carter off with one word, causing the restrained blonde to huff indignantly. But it's Agent Barton who reacts the most strongly, his head whipping towards Peggy and his eyes narrowing.

"Iowa?"

"Yes, Agent Barton. Iowa."

Before Barton can reply, Steve suddenly snaps his fingers and points at the other man.

"Hang on a second. Clint Barton… like Laura Barton? Just down the road?"

Now Agent Barton looks downright pale.

"Just… down the road?"

Poor man looks like he's going to have an honest to god panic attack. Only before he can do so, the light of realization dawns in his eyes and he suddenly looks gobsmacked.

"Hold up! You two… you're 'Steven' and 'James'?! The 'nice gay couple with an obvious dark past but who pose no threat or danger to our family'?!"

Sinking back into his chair, it's obvious that Agent Barton would be holding his head in his hands if he could right now.

"Damnit Laura, we're going to have a serious talk about what constitutes a threat, for fuck's sake…"

Meanwhile, both Steve and Bucky are looking wide eyed, with Steve sputtering.

"We're not… we're not gay! Bucky and I are just really good friends! We've known each over all our life!"

Not looking particular convinced but also not looking particularly doubtful, Clint Barton just shakes his head with a sigh and rolls his shoulders.

"Yeah, well… it's obvious my wife's ability to properly gauge a situation is impaired in a number of ways if she didn't catch on to the two of you."

Bucky smirks at that, crossing his arms over his chest.

"In all fairness, she did. We're no danger to you or your family, Barton. This is supposed to be our retirement. Stark owes us for making us put you all up here until he's finished cleaning house."

Steve immediately turns to Bucky, already shaking his head.

"Come on now Bucky! This feels like the least we can do after everything Tony has done for us."

Bucky just rolls his eyes at Steve's protesting. Watching the two of them for a moment, Rhodey then looks at the rest of the people in the room. Strangely enough, the whole last few minutes seems to have relaxed everyone a whole lot more… something that Peggy apparently agrees with because out of nowhere, she releases the three SHIELD Agents from their restraints. As they all cautiously get up, Peggy nods to Clint first.

"Feel free to go see your family. Just don't go anywhere else or contact anyone else. It won't work anyways; JARVIS will be watching. With Fury gone, SHIELD can't be trusted. Not everyone is HYDRA, but enough people are that it's not worth the risk."

Grimacing, Clint tilts his head to the side as he considers that for a moment.

"Stark have a plan?"

"Yes."

"And if he fails, we're the B-Team. Is that it?"

Peggy narrows her eyes at that.

"Pray he does not fail. Consider for a moment what he must be up against and what he's prepared to fight it, if the three Super Soldiers who owe him everything, that he could call on at the drop of a hat, are currently baby-sitting you and your family in the middle of Iowa."

That… was a good point. Not for the first time, Rhodey finds himself wondering when he and Tony stopped being so close. They used to be thick as thieves, and he'd thought they still were what with the War Machine Armor and all that. But now… now he's realizing just how much Tony has pushed him away. Oh sure, he still cared enough to save him from a secret conspiracy to take over the world, but… damn it all, Rhodey and Tony needed to have a serious talk after this.

In the meantime, Rhodey watches as Clint leaves… though not before Steve suddenly breaks away with an offer to drive the SHIELD Agent over to the neighboring farm in his pickup truck. He then watches as Agent Carter approached Peggy, staring at her abdomen.

"You're… pregnant."

A small smile appears on Peggy's face as she nods.

"I am."

"… Who's the father?"

The smile drops.

"You don't want to know that."

Sharon narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.

"So THAT part wasn't a lie then, was it? Maybe he didn't build you, but he certainly got into your pants, huh?"

Huffing, Peggy shakes her head at the other Carter woman.

"Frankly, most of the seduction was done by Pepper. Tony just supplied the final ingredient."

Alright, he's officially learned more about the bedroom antics of his best friend and his best friend's wife than he ever wanted to know. Deciding to ignore the two Carter women for the time being, Rhodey heads over to Maria Hill instead and sticks out his hand.

"Colonel James Rhodes. Sorry about your boss."

Looking at him curiously, Maria blinks.

"I know who you are, Colonel Rhodes."

"Yeah, well… that's no reason not to be polite, right?"

Finally, she smiles slightly and takes his hand in her own.

"Commander Maria Hill. Though I don't know how much longer that rank will mean anything… or if it ever meant anything to begin with…"

It looks like she's taking the news about HYDRA pretty hard. Which is more than fair. Rhodey was just their target, and that was hard enough. Hill was not only one of their targets, but she was also working with these people just yesterday… and they'd killed her direct superior, a man she clearly held great loyalty for.

Well, Rhodey was smart enough to know when he'd been benched, even if he wasn't happy about it. There was no doubt in his mind that as much as they were all playing nice, nobody was actually allowed to interfere in whatever Tony's plans were for HYDRA. And that… that was fine. Well no, it wasn't fine. But Rhodey at least trusted his friend enough to stand down this time.

In the meantime, he could at least offer a shoulder to cry on. Or rather, looking at Maria Hill's stoic face and the distinct lack of even a watery shine in her eyes, Rhodey corrects himself. Not a shoulder to cry on… but an ear to listen wouldn't be so bad, now would it?

-x-X-x-

A/N: Steve and Bucky's farm is suddenly a lot more lively. Bucky is not impressed :V

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