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Just Focus On Me

Author: clemminty
LGBT+
Ongoing · 11.3K Views
  • 10 Chs
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Synopsis

Set in the late 1950s, Just Focus On Me is a poignant queer tale inspired by beloved titles such as Nana, Banana Fish, Heartstopper, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, and Fellow Travelers. Through the journals of Victoria Payne and Jane Myers, we follow their journey alongside their friends as they navigate the complexities of love and self-acceptance.
 Amid societal expectations and the weight of religious trauma, Victoria and Jane must confront their feelings for each other while grappling with the pressures of conformity. As they explore the true meaning of love, they learn to embrace their identities and support one another in a world that often feels hostile, discovering that that love is not just about romance; it's about friendship, acceptance, and the courage to be true to oneself.

Tags
4 tags
# SLICEOFLIFE
# TRAGEDY
# LOVEATFIRSTSIGHT
# CRUSH
Chapter 1Chapter 7: Mary?
September 2nd, 1952

Manhattan New York

Oh, Diary! Today was even worse! What does this even mean? Does she like me or not? Ughhhh....this is SO confusing!To start off, when I got to school, everything was normal. Mary told me good morning, and I said it back. But when we got to recess, she asked me something, "Hey, Victoria, is there any boy you like?" What a stupid question! I like HER!"No...not particularly. I don't need a boyfriend, I have you, Mary," I said, with a smile. But what she said next confused me."Um...what? Are you like a lesbian?" Then she laughed! "Hey, guys, Victoria's a lesbian! A total perv!" Everyone looked at me as Mary laughed.The girls said stupid stuff like, "Ew...don't invite her to sleepovers!" and giggled. I think Mary was only teasing me...but it hurt my feelings. How could she say that so easily?I don't understand why it felt so bad. I mean, yes, I do like her, but I don't want to be called a "perv." It's like she was joking, but it felt a bit too real. Why is this all so complicated? I just wanted to have fun with my friend, not be the punchline of a joke.Now I'm left wondering if I should keep being honest with her. What if she doesn't want to be friends anymore? What if everyone thinks I really am a lesbian?What do I do, Diary? I just want to be close to her without all this confusion!

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September 24th, 1956

Los Angeles, Ca

Looks like my 13-year-old self left out a lot of details...and why did I stop writing in there after that incident? I was so love-struck I didn't look at the big picture. I'm so naive...Mary didn't really like me; she liked the attention she was getting from me. Did I not realize all those times she would start fights with the girls in our class and then get me to back her up? No wonder they didn't like me...always taking her side even if they were in the right.Or how during lunch she didn't even talk about real stuff with me...only asked me how to do the homework. And how she would belittle me anytime there was a boy in our presence. She would get me to stay by acting like she liked me for a bit, and then she didn't, and then she did, and then she didn't. I really was stupid. I was so attached to her, and it was only like a month and a half. Well, I suppose that's equal to a year and a half in lesbian time.Whatever...I'm smarter this time. I need to get Jane out of my mind. I've only known of her existence for a bit.
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Table of Contents
Volume 1