Am I Deadpool???

Ah, fuck. He didn't know what had happened to him, but he was pretty sure that being kidnapped, de-aged, and having little to no memory of himself definitely wasn't normal. He vaguely remembered having a life—something resembling normalcy, if the faint recollection of living outside this tank could be trusted.

He glanced at his small hands. Great! He was probably about 10 or 12 years old now, but he was sure he used to be a young adult. He had fuzzy memories of drinking in the bar with his friend with adult body. (Yep, definitely an adult before!) He was 21 years old at least. Unless he's one of those rebel and punk kid who like to drunk before he was legal but that didn't exactly line up with the nerdy stuff he always used to do. (The point is, I think he at least had been kidnapped and experimented on.)

And, just as he came to that realization, he noticed that he was in some sort of water tank with the cables with fluids all over his body. Oh, yeah, absolutely fucking fantastic.

Another thing he was pretty certain of? The bubbling, feral thirst for blood that surged through him as he looked at the terrified scientists staring back at him. Probably not normal, either. (Not that he ever thought of himself as a saint, but still.)

Huh? Isn't that the famous wolverine's claws? He stared as sharp, metal claws emerged from his hands and feet. (Hey, that's new.) They looked eerily similar to the Wolverine's claws, ones of his favorites comic book and movie characters. 'Wait—am I in X-23's body?'

Let's see… Pre-teen? Check. Bloodlust? (Hell yeah, check.) Feral tendencies? Well, he did have some body hair despite being a pre-teen, (and his hair was really long for a boy). Check. Wolverine's claws? Definitely a check. (No dick?) He glanced down. Still got a dick. (Phew. Fortuna is with you today dude!) Okay, maybe he was some experiment before X-23.

As he tried to piece things together, a barrage of faints memories hit him. He remembered being born—wait, how the hell do he had a memory of him being born but still being an amnesiac? What kind of lazy writing is this? It felt like a plot hole to him. (Can I get a better fanfic writer, btw?) And why did he even know about fanfic writing? Is he in some sickening fucked up fanfic story? Well, a fuck up ones, but still a fanfic nevertheless.

The memories didn't stop, and suddenly he was in the arms of a tall man who looked like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the first X-Men movie. (Wait, I wasn't bred in a lab?!) Yeay I guess? Still, thank God I'm not a lab rat. He hoped the Wolverine thought of him as lovingly as he did of Laura/X-23, and not Daken. Please God, Stan Lee, or whoever's the fucker who writing this, let him remember him even if he's also got amnesia.

I don't think that's not how it works, bub.

(I wonder who is the mom, anyway?) The memories the continues with a woman who looked like Sheldon's sister from The Big Bang Theory fed him. (Southern Gal huh? He is part cowboy! Coool!) She had auburn hair with a white streak. Wait a minute… Is the mother is the motherfucking Rogue?

(Oh, Wolvie, the FBI's gonna be looking for you! Yer better hide bub!) He frowned. To think so many public figures coming as a pedo this day, what a time to life huh? Yeah, he probably had to kill his father when he got out after he get to burn this place down.

Fuck, fight against the Wolverine, the guy probably gonna kill him first. But they did look so lovingly at him and each other. It is possible after all that they got together when his mom already an adult, like in the comics when she was raised by Mystique in the Brotherhood?

Oi! Your Ma had been groomed! I'm telling ya bub!

(But she looks like she's in her early 30s or late 20s, though. Did Logan actually wait that long? What if they did meet when she was of age? Like in the comics? Are you sure we are in the movie's universe? Seems like different universe to me!)

Okay, so maybe this is her comic counterpart, even if Wolverine looks like his movie actor. Rogue doesn't look like her actress, though. He pondered. Again, this is fanfic. They could've met when my mom was an adult.

(But isn't that still wrong? Even if Wolverine looks like he's in his early to mid-30s, he's still, like, a bazillion years old! No matter what those on BookTok or in young adult vampire books might say!)

'How did I know all this but not my own name, I fucking hate the author. What self-discoveries? What love and family?' He cursed. 'If I didn't know any better, I'd think I'm fucking Deadpool with all this fourth-wall breaking. At least I don't have multiple voices or speech bubbles or box that only I can see.'

(Hmm, are you sure about that?)

You know we are also here, right?

'FUCK, I thought you guys just my thought!'

We are...

(Watch out! Some old menacing guy just walked into your lab?)

Oh, fuck! Is that William Stryker?

(It is. He looks like his actor from X2, though. Looks like we still have a British dude as our villain as a Deadpool variants eh? Even if he's technically American now.)

'Am I really Deadpool? A Deadpool variant who's the son of Wolverine and Rogue? Who's the sick fucker who thought of his?'

The author, obviously. He's a sick, sick, self-deprecating suicidal man with voices in his head. You're probably not Deadpool, though. Not witty or R-rated enough.

(Hey! Maybe you could be a Kidpool, destined to annoy your old man for eternity! That would be hilarious!)

'I'll check after I get out of here. For now, I'll bide my time. If there's no Wade Wilson in this reality, I'll just take his name. If I fucked up and he's still alive, I can go scot-free! Well, his name will get even fuck up lol, I am sure he won't mind!'

(Identity theft is no joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year…)

'Ssssh, Stryker's saying something! I need to concentrate! Villain Monologue time!'

You have ADHD, remember? I think you will get distracted again!

'Just shut up, Thought 2.'