Chapter 42.2 Portrait 

I painted the landscape in one day. That's a lie, isn't it? No, it happens when something inside tears to materialize in the world, and a painter, musician, sculptor, or other creator creates a masterpiece literally overnight. Something may be added later, marks removed, but the moment the master puts down his brush, the work is finished.

I did not think of the landscape of the cliff going into a deep chasm as anything special. It didn't look like a masterpiece, but it didn't look like cheap craftsmanship either. It was a good picture, warm, vivid, moderately realistic. But I was driven forward by a thought, a burning desire to touch the ideal — to capture the beautiful image of the feminine part of nature embodied in the dragon.

But even after the landscape, I was not let near the desired, and voiced the conditions: a portrait of the daughter, together with the daughter, and only according to what I asked. I agreed without question and went to sleep without a dream.

The next day, I woke up around noon, and again I saw a picture of Ryuko having fun with various animals. I didn't start painting right away, but the whole time she was on the beach, I was in a trance, watching her.

This work took a week. In my observations, I saw things I hadn't noticed or paid attention to. Ryuko is Meiumi's daughter. Blood from blood. Magic from magic. Wonder from wonder. The realization opened up many things to me that were inaccessible before, and the portrait of the little dragon became a masterpiece.

Mayumi didn't look over my shoulder, didn't peek, but when the brush fell from my trembling hand and I froze, unable to look away from the portrait, she was there. Just like that, she was there.

 The painting was of a beautiful girl with sparkling sea hair, talking to the birds and crabs, sitting on a patch of grass, leaning against the shell of a large sea turtle. Every stroke, every hue — all this created a unique image of "Harmony".

It was a month before I was able to pick up the brush, and even then I was painting a coral reef, and a week before I was able to start the family portrait. During the whole break I was torn by contradictory thoughts and ideas, and I was also banally afraid to take on another miracle. I was afraid of spoiling my inability to convey even a little of this embodied ideal.

The next picture was of a young girl with an unusual girl sitting on her lap. They were admiring the sunset and talking about something. The contemplative warmth made my soul tear with pain. Dragons embodied a different ideal, and I was hurt by the realization that even THERE I didn't have THAT.

Here I was a stranger to everyone, and my mother saw me only for her own benefit. For the first time in my life, I got drunk, went to the other side of a small island and drank rum to the point of insanity, and didn't sober up for a few days until Mayumi-sama came and reprimanded me. It took me a few months to "rehabilitate" myself, although I guess I could use unquote, because I was really lousy at heart.

On the last job, I started with dry lips from excitement and shook hands. The girl just sat on the porch in her favorite wicker chair and watched her daughter, her liquid gold eyes glistening from under half-closed eyelids. Day after day, weeks passed. Sometimes I made only a few strokes a day, sometimes none at all, but my eyes saw more and more, and I understood more and more.

Philosophical conversations, playing with this little family, playing with wild animals, the laughter of a colorful dragon and the unshakable peace of its mother. Half a year later I finally understood what dragons are. Simply put, without feelings, sensations and emotions, we can say that each dragon is its own world.

They are self-sufficient, they don't need anything as a rule — in exceptional cases they get it quickly. They change another world around them, they become the center of that world. They are agents of life. They are a miracle.

When I finished Meiumi-sama's portrait, I realized what Amaterasu-sama was telling me and what my "chosenness" was. The latter is bullshit... Well, not exactly, but it's not far off. It's just that nothing in nature is meaningless, every detail in the mechanism has its own purpose and necessity. But not every "detail" has its role revealed to it. It was revealed to me. And it's only now that I realize it. I saw it in the dragons: balance, harmony, life...

And then there was a conversation.