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[Subaru: ――Huh?]

For a moment, unable to understand what he had just been told, Subaru only let out an astonished groan.

His eyes widened and his mouth gaped open, while Emilia watched him as she formed her thoughts into words.

[Emilia: I'm happy that you feel this way about me, say these things to me, and do all these things for me. It makes me feel so safe, and I rely on you so, so much. ...But I can't let you search for escape routes for me]

[Subaru: N-no it's... it's not such a one-sided issue!]

[Emilia: I'm the one who decided to take this challenge. There is somewhere I need to go, a door I need to pass through to get there, and right now, I need to do my best to pass through it. I don't want to make any excuses]

Subaru tightened his lips as he was struck by Emilia's determined eyes.

Her resolute visage was overflowing with strong-willed radiance. It was not the face of a weak little girl who would stop still in her tracks without Subaru there to pull her along.

But, why? With his heart buried in questions, Subaru shook his head.

[Subaru: Emilia, I think your resolve is amazing. But the Trial is not suited for you. To go in there with no plan when the chances of winning are so... slim, I don't think it's noble or anything]

[Emilia: ...The chances do feel slim, I guess]

[Subaru: ...]

Emilia wryly smiled at Subaru's matter-of-fact statement. The fact that her eyebrows drooped a little was only because she recognized that those were Subaru's honest thoughts.

And Subaru himself felt like a horribly deficient human being for not immediately finding the right words to comfort her.

[Subaru: Can we at least wait until I find some clues? If I can just have some time, I... can make the whole thing easier for you. Then you won't have to worry about...]

[Emilia: No, you can't, Subaru. Somehow, I just know. ――That there are no shortcuts or back alleys to get through the Tomb's Trials]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: It's strange. But I just know it. Even with time, unless I steadily prepare myself for the challenge, the result will always be the same. I know that]

[Subaru: Aa...]

He had no words to refute her.

Though he didn't know the exact details behind the Trials, he did agree with Emilia about these feelings.

Repeatedly challenging the Trial will not soften or intensify its contents nor its nature. The same conditions and the same contents will be there to welcome its challenger. Keeping its own properties constant, only changes in the challenger's heart would result in different outcomes―― as would be just to Echidona's tastes.

Seeing right through his attempts to console her, Emilia's understanding of the Trials was more than Subaru had imagined.

Yet even so, just as Subaru frantically tried to connect his words,

[Emilia: Say, Subaru. ――Why do you want to help me?]

[Subaru: ――――]

It was a question that carried tremendous significance the last time it was asked.

How desperately had Subaru struggled in order to answer her? How much hardship had he overcome just to tell her?

And that was why, being asked the same question now, Subaru could answer without the slightest hesitation.

[Subaru: I want to help you… because I love you. ――Because I love everything about you]

[Emilia: ――Mn. Yes, I know. Subaru, you love me]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: And it makes me reeaally happy that you do. It makes me feel reeaally safe. And makes me want to reeaally depend on you. And just having you watch me like this, I feel like I can reeaally try my hardest]

Holding her hands to her chest, her cheeks slightly blushing, Emilia closed her eyes.

As if instilled with all of her emotions at once, [And so], she continued,

[Emilia: Don't get stuck thinking that you have to do something. I can do my best just by having you watch me. If you want to do something, if you'll indulge my selfishness, then I want you to stay by my side. And be there behind me to support me]

[Subaru: Emilia...]

[Emilia: With your hand on my back when I'm faltering, I know I can stand back up again. And when I'm wavering, I want you at my side, Subaru]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Emilia: Thank you… for walking ahead of me, moving away the stones, smoothing out the path, cutting away the branches, and then guiding me by the hand. But, I think, if you always do that for me, I'll just be a burden to you. While I'll be all fudged up inside]

[Subaru: Who says, "fudged"... anym…]

He tried to say his usual line, but the words wouldn't come.

Subaru could no longer restrain the emotions swelling inside his chest. Just what is that indescribable, incomprehensible sensation? So as not to lose himself in that undeniable emotion, Subaru gritted his teeth as he continued facing Emilia.

[Emilia: I've only ever taken, and taken, and taken from you... so, this time, I want to do something different. It bothers me that every time I fail I'm making you and everyone else worry... to make sure that doesn't happen again, I'll try my best to overcome it as soon as possible]

In front of Subaru, who had fallen speechless, a subtle, courageous smile rose on Emilia's face.

[Emilia: So please stay by my side, and watch over me as I try my best. ――That's all I ask of you, Subaru]

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

[Subaru: ――――hk!!]

Slicing through the wind, straining his legs as he ran, his heart would not stop pounding.

Every perilous footfall sprinting down that slope sent branches cutting painfully across his cheeks, and, tripping countless times, he nevertheless continued frantically running.

[Subaru: ――――!!]

Expelling a soundless shriek, stretching his throat to the point of tearing, he gazed up into the night through the gaps between the obscuring foliage, into the cloudless sky, into the pale, radiant moon amid the shimmering stars, and screamed.

――As if to spew out all the foolish foolishness inside him, and to empty himself of everything.

――Emilia's last, resolute smile remained seared into the back of his eyes.

That smile, her proclaimed resolve, and his own mistaken conceit. He finally understood that sweltering impulse scorching the insides of his chest.

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And because he understood it, he could not bear to stay another second. Instead, after parting from Emilia, Subaru rushed into the forest, running aimlessly like an animal.

Not permitting him to stand still, not allowing him to escape into sleep, that emotion which would burst into flames just at the thought of Emilia―― that emotion was called "Shame".

Shame dominated Subaru's entirety, forbidding him to stop.

[Subaru: I...I...!]

Overwhelming idiot. Truly, truly, a hopeless, irredeemable idiot.

When Roswaal disparaged Emilia and called her a "thing", Subaru had flown into a rage. He bared his teeth, screaming, proclaiming that he would not allow Roswaal to insult her.

But then, when he met Emilia right after, when he told her everything that he wanted to do for her, and was rejected, that was when he realized it:

――The one most guilty of doubting Emilia's resolve, determination, and strength was Subaru himself.

Thinking that he had to protect her, not wanting her to feel sadness or pain――

With that as his excuse, he had racked his brain trying to keep Emilia from any hardship. Challenging the Trials in her stead, then seeking shortcuts when that failed, and when even that was hopeless―― worst case, if he could just do something about the Great Rabbits responsible for the time-limit on the Sanctuary: All along, Subaru had occupied his mind trying to find a way to solve everything without Emilia having to take the Trials.

But while Subaru was obsessed with this self-satisfied desire to protect her and devising plans to shelter her, Emilia was steeling her resolve and determination in those nights she spent alone, choosing not to flee, but to face the Trials head on.

All she wanted was for Subaru to support her in that resolve.

Yet, it was none other than Natsuki Subaru who dismissed her from the start.

[Subaru: ――――!]

The instant he realized it, that unbearable feeling of shame pounced at Subaru's head.

Giving Emilia some unconvincing reply when she needed his response, he gave the worried girl a wave and left, practically fleeing. Then, his legs carried him into the forest, where he was now.

In the Capital, it was with the same selfish conceit that Subaru had wounded Emilia.

Paying no mind to Emilia's considerations or resolve, thinking only of his new-found Authority, Subaru gave her no explanation for his selfish behavior and allowed it to open the rift between them.

It was because that happened, and because he confirmed his feelings for her and how he was going to express it, that Subaru was able to stand here now.

――But he was wrong yet again.

Taking on wounds in Emilia's place, shouldering the burdens in Emilia's stead, clearing the path for Emilia's sake.

Even if he boasted of it to Emilia, he never showed it off to anyone else. At least, it seemed to be an improvement compared to what it was before―― but in reality, nothing had changed at all.

He had just gotten better at hiding his wounds.

He had just muted the arrogant self-aggrandizement flaunting his injuries.

But he was still imposing his selfishness on Emilia, screaming that he was right.

[Subaru: I... I...gh]

Out of breath and panting as he ran, when he looked up again, a thick branch struck him on the forehead. Bending backwards in pain, he felt his footing fall away into empty space.

Collapsing sideways, tumbling over the dirt and leaf covered surface, Subaru came to lie sprawled out over the ground.

With the frigid soil that would suck all the warmth from his body at his back, drawing ragged breaths, Subaru laid there gazing straight above. Through the gaps between the trees, he could glimpse the night's sky.

In this world without street lights, in the prickling, clean air, the stars were brilliantly shining. Under the full expanse of that starry sky, surrounded by constellations he did not know, Subaru felt himself dissolve into a vortex of his own smallness, of the uncertainty of his future, of his tangible dread, and of his disheveled emotions.

Struck by a sudden exhaustion, he could no longer keep himself conscious.

This tumultuous time left not only his body weighed down by fatigue, but also his mind, encumbered by the countless travails, steadily drawing him into darkness.

Return by Death. The Witches' tea party. Roswaal's intentions. His conceited self, and Emilia, who had resolved to stand up on her own.

Engrossed in those thoughts, just what would Subaru have to――

[???: Hell, y'look like shit]

The first things Subaru sensed as he woke were the skin-piercing cold and the sound of the voice addressing him.

His eyelids shuddered in the frigid sunlight as he grimaced while opening his eyes. Unwittingly looking directly into the sun that was peeking through the trees, his eyes teared up as he tried to right himself,

[Subaru: Gh, aw, hurt...s]

Hearing the sound of his stiff joints creaking, Subaru groaned in pain.

The coldness of the soil and air as he laid on the solid ground had stiffened his body, and every movement of his joints was protested by dull pain.

[???: Not sure what you're tryin' to pull here, but sleepin' in a place without a roof ain't what I'd recommend. "When there's a roof n' a floor, a Gauran gets by" they say]

[Subaru: What's a Gauran... ugh, nevermind]

Shaking his head, Subaru looked up at the source of the rowdy voice―― Garfiel, clicking his fangs and looking down at Subaru on the ground.

Just then, Subaru's sobering consciousness remembered what put him in this situation in the first place.

[Subaru: Ri.. ght... I fell asleep like this last night...]

[Garfiel: I smelled ya in th'forest on my mornin' routine and came t'see what's goin' on. Layin' there sprawled out like that, thought someone beat me to it and killed ya overnight]

[Subaru: As the primary suspect, if you didn't do it, I doubt anyone else would've. ...What time is it, anyway?]

Holding his hand to his forehead, Subaru shook his heavy head and asked. At this, Garfiel snorted with a [Hah], and,

[Garfiel: No need t'hurry, it's still before breakfast time. Aside from th'early-risin' gramps and grannies, you'n me are th'only ones up]

[Subaru: So no one's missed me yet, then. ...It'll be trouble if I don't get back to the Cathedral befor... or, right away, actually...]

If Subaru never returned overnight, Otto, who got back before him, might suspect that something was amiss. Even if that wasn't a problem in itself, Subaru would still prefer to avoid any anxiety spreading among the Arlam refugees. With the mountains of problems as it is, to cause any further discord because of his own indiscretion would be unforgivable.

[Garfiel: ...Yer expression's different from last night]

[Subaru: Huh?]

Using a nearby tree as support to stand himself up, Subaru gave his neck a turn when he heard Garfiel address him. Looking back, he saw Garfiel violently scratching at his short, golden hair.

[Garfiel: Yesterday I couldn't tell if yer self-possessed or not, but now it's like... yer face looks fuckin' refreshed or somethin']

[Subaru: ――――]

[Garfiel: Tch, that ain't it either. Can't fuckin' say it right... oy, th'fuck you laughin' at?]

[Subaru: Kh, haha...]

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Hearing Garfiel point this out, Subaru touched his hands to his cheeks. Feeling that the corner of his lips had somewhat slackened, a trembling laugh spilled out of the back of his throat.

At first a low, stifled noise, it grew gradually louder.

[Subaru: Hah, hahaha! I look refreshed!? Really, is that what I look like?]

[Garfiel: Yeah, what? Th'hell's so funny...]

[Subaru: You got it backwards, Garfiel. Just, totally, backwards]

[Garfiel: Hah?]

Pressing back the urge to laugh, Subaru jabbed out his finger toward Garfiel.

And,

[Subaru: I'm not refreshed at all. My insides are creaking and pounding, and honestly, right now, I feel like I could burst apart at any second. Everything I've tried to do has been invalidated, everything I've struggled for has backfired... and I seriously don't know what to do now]

[Garfiel: ――――]

[Subaru: Then, when I realized I was truly stuck, I actually feel like laughing. If everything I tried to do was pointless... then I'm right back where I started, aren't I]

Muttering powerlessly, Subaru's shoulders drooped.

If he had been mistaken from the very start, then every single thought he had since then would be faulty.

With the deadline steadily approaching, only now did he belatedly realize that he had been using the wrong equations. And what's worse, was that those were the kind of problems that no one could give him the solutions to.

Garfiel scrunched up his nose, not sure what to say to the dejected Subaru. And knowing that Garfiel wouldn't give him any straight answers even if he asked, all Subaru felt in return was resentment.

And so, an awkward silence fell between them―― until,

[????: ――How about I tell you what you should do?]

[Subaru: ――――!]

Subaru quickly turned to the voice coming from above, but Garfiel didn't seem the least surprised as he looked towards the same direction, probably because he had already sensed its presence.

On the other end of their gazes, weaving through the gaps between the trees, it was,

[Subaru: ...Otto?]

[Otto: Mhm, good morning. Yep, it's me]

Accompanied by the sound of twigs snapping under his feet, Otto wore a somewhat counterfeit smile as he approached. While his sudden appearance startled Subaru, Garfiel only clicked his tongue.

[Garfiel: Just sayin', I only just found him too. Not like I forgot all 'bout ya t'come chattin' with him instead]

[Otto: I wasn't worrying about anything like that. Just glad we found Natsuki-san safe. ――Anyway, mind if I make a request?]

[Garfiel: ...Spit it out]

[Otto: Might I have a minute with Natsuki-san alone? There's something I'd like to discuss with him]

In front of the still-disoriented Subaru, Otto and Garfiel carried on their exchange with a knowing air between them. Gritting his teeth at Otto's request, Garfiel glanced over at Subaru,

[Garfiel: Just don't try anythin' funny]

And with that, he left them.

Treading over the grass, and out of the forest, Garfiel headed back towards the Sanctuary. Watching him as he left, Subaru wetted his lips with his tongue,

[Subaru: Sounds like you got on Garfiel's good side somewhere when I wasn't looking]

[Otto: That's because I wasn't just doing nothing while you're off on your little adventures, Natsuki-san. There's been a deepening of understanding between the refugees and the people living here, and... well, none of that really matters right now]

Halfway through candidly answering Subaru's question, Otto suddenly dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand and then proceeded to lock his gaze onto Subaru. Or rather, it was far too intense to be a gaze. Its intensity was clearly closer to a glare.

[Subaru: Well, what...]

Thoroughly unsettled by that stare, Subaru only managed a weak mumble. Hearing it, Otto let out a small sigh,

[Otto: While it was only bits and pieces, I still heard what you said. Natsuki-san, it sounds like you're being cornered… by all sorts of things]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Otto: Naturally, I wouldn't know the details, being kept out of the loop and all. But you must be at your limits, aren't you? Otherwise we wouldn't hear you blabbering about "What do I do now"]

[Subaru: So then, what do I do? ...You said you could tell me]

Listening to Otto's sardonic remarks, Subaru brought up what Otto had said when he first cut into the conversation.

Surely, that was what he said when he broke into the silence between Subaru and Garfiel. Just what could he have meant when he said that?

[Subaru: You said… you could tell me what I should do...]

[Otto: Yeah, I know. It's very simple really]

[Subaru: Simp...le]

[Otto: You want to know what it is?]

That manner of speaking was really getting on his nerves.

After all he has agonized, winding up in this wretched state, here, what this person was saying was just plain pissing him off.

[Subaru: O-of course I want to know! Quit joking around! If there's something you know, then...]

[Otto: Alright, then prepare yourself]

[Subaru: P-prepare...?]

[Otto: Yes. First take a long, deep breath...]

Holding out his hands, Otto motioned for Subaru to take a breath. Though he was unsure what Otto was getting at, Subaru nonetheless followed the instruction and adjusted his breathing, closing his eyes and letting his lungs expand――

[Subaru: ――――!?]

The next instant, a sharp impact whacked him across the face, sending him flopping to the ground.

Failing to catch himself as he fell, Subaru dropped face-first into the dirt. Quickly shaking his head, looking around to see what happened, he caught sight of Otto brandishing his fist, and, only then, realized that he had been punched.

There, in front of the breathless Subaru, Otto clenched his reddening fist, and,

[Otto: You should stop putting on airs when you're in front of your friends, Natsuki Subaru]

-=

Subaru was so stunned by what had just happened that he all but forgot about the pain of being punched.

Toppled across the ground, he looked up to find Otto glaring at him. On that usually pathetic, dead-pan, definitely-not-intensely-emotional face, there was a definite, blazing fury in his eyes.

Otto Suwen's eyes were looking down on Subaru, full of rage.

[Otto: You don't know what to do, and your head's all messed up]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Otto: When you're in a place where you need help, when the strength of your own arms and mind aren't nearly enough, all you do is frantically scramble around accomplishing nothing but wasting time, isn't it?]

Saying this to the silent Subaru, step by step, Otto drew closer.

On his hands and knees, paralyzed on the ground and feeling the heat swelling on his left cheek, all Subaru could do was stare at Otto.

[Otto: Your silence means you aren't denying it, then. At least in our world, getting yourself trapped is about the lowest you can go. ――You hear me?]

Otto reached his hand to the speechless Subaru and hoisted him up by the collar,

[Otto: If you hear me, say something!]

[Subaru: ――――!]

A sharp, solid impact rammed into Subaru's forehead, sending sparks flying.

Feeling the world spinning before his eyes, Subaru realized that he had taken a headbutt from Otto. Then again, another headbutt sent him flying backwards.

With his forehead and cheekbone aching, Subaru was shoved stumbling backwards. Naturally, no one could be expected to just sit there and take it――

[Subaru: The hell're you doing...!?]

[Otto: Oh, so you were conscious when I beat you just now? I was pretty sure I was roughing up someone asleep, you know]

[Subaru: What're y――!?]

Tearing up from the second headbutt straight to the nose, Subaru lashed back in rage, trying to grab Otto. But Otto slipped aside from Subaru's reaching arms and violently swept out his legs from under him, sending him tumbling to the ground.

[Subaru: Gha!?]

[Otto: Just when your head's getting some blood-flow, you've left your footing unattended. Isn't that's just like you, Natsuki-san, pathetic]

[Subaru: Oh... you think!?]

Springing to his feet, Subaru threw the fistful of dirt he had grabbed on the way down straight at Otto's face. But, having read his movements, Otto guarded his face with his arm and quickly closed in before Subaru could react. Just like that, in the time it took to gulp, Otto had place one hand on the back of Subaru's collar and the other on his waist and tossed him.

Slamming back-first into the ground, Subaru bounced off of the impact, choking from the pain.

Even though the ground was thick with dead leaves where he landed, that didn't absorb half of the shock.

Gasping, with numbness running all the way to the ends of his limbs, Subaru couldn't get up again.

[Otto: Resorting to dirty tricks as usual, Natsuki-san? Too bad they don't work on me once I see them coming]

[Subaru: ....Ghh, khha]

[Otto: See, Natsuki-san? This is what your strength amounts to. You'll never reach the level of the Knights or Roswaal-sama, nevermind Garfiel. Even against me, you end up like this]

Watching Subaru desperately sucking oxygen into his convulsing lungs, Otto shook his head with exasperation as he prodded him with these words.

Walking over to the helpless Subaru's side, Otto drew his face closer,

[Otto: Picking fights with the White Whale and the Witch Cult was stupid. You're weak, and you wouldn't have lasted a second in a straight-up fight. Surely, you understand this]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Otto: So, were you going to compensate for your lack of strength with wits? From what I've seen, there is a bit of cleverness about you... but certainly no above-average judgement or decision-making abilities. Even your common sense is lacking]

Not sure what Otto was trying to say, irritation began showing through Subaru's ragged breaths.

By now, the convulsions of his lungs, the shock of being thrown, and the pain on his forehead and cheek had somewhat faded. In their place, what accompanied his returning calm was only confusion regarding the true intention behind Otto's words.

Looking down into Subaru's black, non-understanding eyes, Otto continued,

[Otto: Both your strength and wits are lacking, and if there's anything else that can compensate... well, there really isn't anything. You're small, your reach is short, you're the kind of person that can be found anywhere. You are just a commonplace nobody, and yet you're aiming for these disproportionately great things]

[Subaru: What…'re you... even trying to say?]

[Otto: You know that you're powerless and weak, so what's the backup plan you came up with? It's to corner yourself even further, whittling yourself down trying to pull something out of nothing... I finally understand how Patrasche-chan feels]

[Subaru: Patrasche...?]

Hearing the name of his ground dragon, Subaru's eyes widened in surprise.

Patrasche. The black ground dragon who got herself injured to save a master who didn't even know why she would do such a thing for him, who had taught him so much and to whom he owed so much―― who was so utterly wasted on Subaru,

Now Otto was saying that he understood how she felt.

While Subaru lay there, blinking, Otto stuck his fingers through his grey hair, and, with thorns in his voice, [So, you see], he continued,

[Otto: It's fine to show off in front of the girl you have a crush on. That's a necessary vanity, and I'll respect that. I suppose it's inevitable that you'll be boasting things that are way out of your calibre. So I'll be willing to overlook that]

That would be Emilia. And the way Subaru acts in front of Emilia.

[Otto: And I'll forgive you for showing off in front of the girl who has a crush on you. Again, that's necessary. When love's involved, I believe the one on the receiving end carries a certain responsibility too. So it's important to be putting on airs when you're around someone who loves you, and I can forgive you for that]

That would be Rem. Once, Subaru had told Otto the exact same thing. That he wanted to show off in front of Rem, because she was a girl who loved him.

[Otto: But, that's where you stop]

With this, Otto stuck his face even closer.

Subaru shrunk up his shoulders in anticipation of another headbutt, but Otto went on, practically snarling,

[Otto: You know that you're lacking. You know that you're insufficient. You want to show off to the girl you like. And you want to be something that the girl who likes you could be proud of]

[Subaru ――――]

[Otto: So, to make up for the parts that you don't want those girls to see, shouldn't you be enlisting some help from others? ――Say, from a friend?]

Pulling his face away, Otto said the last part holding his palm to his own chest.

[Subaru: Haa…]

Listening to those words, Subaru let out a small sigh.

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Honestly, for a moment, Subaru thought something along the lines of [Yeah, you're right].

It wasn't that he hadn't hoped he could cling to and rely on someone this way. Of course he had. Like Otto said, Subaru knew that he was weak and lacking. He was not nearly so conceited as to think that he could solve everything on his own.

In fact, all this time, hadn't he been trying to enlist Echidona and Roswaal's help to compensate for his own incompetence?

Yet instead of receiving their cooperation, all he got in return were wounds and truths that he didn't want to learn.

He had already tried to do it Otto's way. But what Otto's suggested wouldn't work at all. That door was already shut.

[Subaru: ――Hah]

[Otto: What's so funny?]

Reaching that desolate conclusion in his heart, it began to show on his face as well. Seeing this, Otto furrowed his brows in displeasure, while Subaru, with his face red and swollen, looked up to meet his gaze,

[Subaru: You got it all wrong. ...It's not like I haven't asked for help. I've already tried everything that might work. I've already tried to rely... on anyone I thought I could rely on, and yet...]

His hopes were betrayed, but, not willing to give up, he was left only hugging his head.

In the end, even Emilia, whom he thought he must "Protect" and "Save", rejected his thoughts. And only then did he realize that, all along, he had been looking down on Emilia as a "Weakling who needed his protection".

Having experienced various things, met various people, said flashy lines, barked that he would make everything work out, rejected the resolve to die and embraced the resolve to live, and pretended as if he had moved forward if only just a little, ultimately, all Subaru had been doing was marching in place.

He couldn't see a single thing he could do to alter this deadlock.

Now that even his forced smile had dried up, only a cold, rigid expression remained on Subaru's cheeks.

Watching this, Otto's lips quivered at Subaru's silent laments.

[Otto: ...But, I don't recall you ever asking me for help, Natsuki-san]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Otto: I'm not worthy of being relied upon, and it'd be pointless... that's how you see me, isn't it? Or could it be that, in your eyes... I'm just another one of those who needs protecting?]

Otto's trembling voice as he tried to stifle his emotions only made his words even more jarring.

This was merely a glimpse of Otto's rage, sorrow, and emotions without an outlet.

Touched by the ripples of Otto's overflowing emotions, Subaru realized that his words had inadvertently hurt him, and he quickly shook his head.

[Subaru: No, you're wrong…]

[Otto: How am I wrong? It'd be strange if I was wrong. If I was, then why are you sitting there alone not telling me anything?]

[Subaru: The fact that I'm not... telling you anything isn't because I don't trust you. You're wrong about that]

[Otto: ――――]

Shaking his head, Subaru's eyes were wandering.

Meanwhile, Otto fell silent, only keeping his green irises fixed on Subaru.

The pressure of that gaze made Subaru cast down his eyes, muddying his words as he put his hand to his forehead.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Otto. In those loops, Otto had staked his life to protect him, and stayed with him when there was no profit to be made from it. For that, Subaru was sincerely grateful, and he wasn't lying when he called him a friend.

But how could he tell Otto the truth?

If it was Echidona or Roswaal who could understand Subaru's circumstances, then it'd be fine. The taboo wouldn't be violated, and conversation would be possible.

But that was not the case with Otto. Not just Otto, but none of Emilia, Ram, or any of the others in the Sanctuary knew the first thing about Subaru's situation.

Without mentioning the Witch or Return by Death, Subaru couldn't possibly explain the predicament he was in. Even if he could tell them what will happen, about the Great Rabbit and the attack on the Mansion―― Subaru wouldn't be able to say how he came to know these things in the first place.

When that happens, what could he tell them to make them believe him? Could he even hope for such a thing?

He knew he wasn't strong enough, he knew he wasn't smart enough, and he knew just how useless he was.

And so, ultimately, Subaru couldn't do anything without getting help from others, and he understood that it was his job to obtain the help he needed.

But now, having failed to do his job, he had come to a standstill.

[Subaru: I can't explain it. My head's all a mess... like you said, it's all a mess, and... there's no way I can prove anything I say]

[Otto: ...]

[Subaru: They're stuff that, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe any of it... so how can I explain it... it's like that with you, with everyone, with...]

[Otto: ...Why don't you try?]

[Subaru: ――Huh?]

When Subaru told him that he could give him no reason to believe him, that was Otto's reply.

Unwittingly looking up at those words, he saw Otto with his arms folded, looking back at him,

[Otto: So, why don't you try saying it? Even if it doesn't make sense and comes out all jumbled because your head's confused, I won't interrupt you, and I'll listen to the end]

[Subaru: No, but, that'll...]

[Otto: Just... out with it!! Didn't I tell you to stop putting on airs!?]

Otto kicked his foot into the ground, shouting that he had had enough.

Then, jutting out his finger at the wide-eyed Subaru,

[Otto: If you have the time to whine about having no proof and how no one's going to believe you, why don't you use that time to spit out everything that's holed up in that head of yours!? Isn't that way more constructive than sitting there moping!?]

[Subaru: Even if you say that...I! There's no way you'd believe me if I gave you this mishmash...!]

[Otto: ――Just spit out the mishmash! Then at the end I'll say "I believe you"! Because that's what friends do!!]

――All the confounded, tangled contents of Subaru's head was uprooted and blown away by Otto's shout.

Otto's words were without any real basis, and his logic was not that convincing at all.

Yet, to Subaru who had come to a standstill, it was more than enough of a push on his back.

[Subaru: Well… I don't expect you to believe any of this, but...]

Little by little, he gave voice to every single one of the problems he had been keeping inside himself, and it didn't even take that long.

[Subaru: So, yeah…Roswaal's hired the assassin to attack the Mansion... in order to corner me and Emilia so we have nowhere to run... pretty much]

Gingerly watching for any censoring hands popping up, Subaru carefully brought his explanation to an end.

All the while, Otto had only quietly listened, albeit with his brows furrowed.

[Subaru: And that's all the information I have right now... it may not be all that precise, but that's everything. With nothing held back, all of it]

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Naturally, the unspeakable part about Return by Death and the Witches' tea party were a different story.

With those parts left out, the foundations were definitely a bit shaky. Even Subaru himself felt that the connections between everything were way too vague.

And so he was pretty on edge to see what Otto's reaction would be. Although Otto had promised to say "I believe you" at the end, just what would he actually think about everything he said just now?

[Otto: Natsuki-san...]

[Subaru: ...]

After a long silence spent in thought, Otto dropped his folded arms and looked at Subaru. Seeing himself reflected in Otto's green pupils, Subaru unwittingly held his breath.

What's he going to say first? Subaru could hear his own heart pounding.

And, to this stiffened Subaru,

[Otto: There's no way I can pretend I didn't hear any of that and just run away, is there?]

[Subaru: Wh――haa!?]

Subaru yelped, thrown off by that off-kilter reply. But Otto shouted right over Subaru's yelp with, [After all!],

[Otto: We're trapped in this place with the Great Rabbit approaching, the only way to get out is if Emilia-sama breaks through the Trials, if we try leaving with just the people not affected by the Barrier we'll get stopped by Mr.Clueless there, and even if we make it back to the Mansion we'll get murdered by an assassin hired by the owner of the Mansion.... What kind of a situation is this!?]

[Subaru: That's what I wanna know! Why do I have to be herded into a stupid ridiculous situation like this!? I mean I already knew it, but is this how much Kami-sama hates me!? Well, I hate him too!!]

If there really is a God of Fate, there is no doubt that god really hates Subaru. And since Subaru didn't think he did anything atrocious to actually deserve this, it was just plain unfair.

But cursing the Gods wasn't going to move this situation anywhere nor make things any easier. And, even before that,

[Subaru: Wait, Otto. I can see why you wanna flip out right now, but... you mean you actually believe all those crazy things I said?]

[Otto: ――――]

[Subaru: That these bloodthirsty Mabeasts are coming, that even if we wanna run we don't know if Emilia'll succeed or not, that Garfiel'll get in our way, and that Roswaal's already betrayed us for his bat-shit insane ideas... you really believe all that?]

Saying it out loud again, it just sounded like a list of unfortunate situations all bunched up into one.

In particular, the approaching Great Rabbit and Roswaal masterminding the attacks on the Mansion were all without any proof whatsoever. Those were the two most important parts, and Subaru had nothing he could use to convince anyone.

For the Great Rabbit, how could Subaru possibly predict the movements of Mabeasts when almost everyone in the world had already been trying?

As for Roswaal, why would he be plotting against Emilia, the candidate he is backing in the Royal Selection?

None of this Subaru could explain.

[Otto: Natsuki-san]

Otto briefly closed his eyes before addressing Subaru's question.

He raised a single finger, and,

[Otto: I've been to quite a few places up to now, and I might not look like it, but I've interacted with all sorts of people on the way]

[Subaru: ...Unless, you can tell if someone's trustworthy just by looking at them?]

[Otto: No, I don't believe in that kind of superstition. When you're a merchant, you'll come to learn very quickly that there are people who can lie to anyone without a single cloud in their eyes. I've had more than my share of experience in that regard]

He's bragging about it, but doesn't that just mean Otto has been duped enough times for him to have learned his lesson?However, deciding that this was too important a conversation to stick that quip in there, Subaru kept his mouth shut and allowed Otto to continue,

[Otto: Well, after meeting all those people, I've also learned to do business in my own sort of way. It's been four years since I left home and, for better or for worse, I survived]

Otto made it sound simple, but it probably wasn't an easy road.

He too must've been thrown into life or death situations more than a few times.

In this world, where one could run into the White Whale just by crossing a field, it's not hard to imagine the kind of dangers a travelling merchant would have to face. Stray dogs, burglars, those kinds of things.

[Otto: And so, day after day like this, I've managed to make a life for myself as a merchant... and I can confidently say that, up to now, I've always picked the side that was favored by the odds. Though things don't always turn out the way I'd hope... and there were times when what I thought was the winning side turned out to be unmitigated disasters and were never heard from again…]

[Subaru: Oy, oy, oy...]

[Otto: But, regardless of the outcomes, I've always tried to make choices that I don't end up regretting. When I'm putting myself on the line, I think it's obvious why that's necessary]

Subaru still couldn't exactly tell what Otto's criteria is, but it sounded like he always picked the side with the best chances.

Hoping to establish a connection with Roswaal, Otto had accompanied Subaru to the Sanctuary with his personal advancements in mind. In that sense, Otto behaved like a realist, through and through.

That's why Subaru figured that Otto would have no reason to listen to his baseless words without the slightest hope of――

[Otto: And so, this is a first, Natsuki-san]

[Subaru: ――Huh?]

Not sure what he was saying, Subaru only stared at Otto with his mouth gaping open.

And, seeing this, with a stupidly cheerful expression,

[Otto: Going against all odds and joining the side with no visible chance of success is definitely a first for me]

Otto stated his decision.

※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※

Running as fast as his legs could carry him. Out of breath.

Chasing his bolting heart across the meadow, without a second to lose, Subaru's body was shrouded in wind.

Slicing through the crisp morning air, making great swings of his arms, he sprinted, step after leaping step.

Kicking up soil, trampling over rocks, he dashed straight along the shoddy path.

At last, the destined building entered his field of view.

His cheeks twisting with unwitting exhilaration, Subaru bared his teeth. Huffing like a dog with his tongue sticking out, he bounded for the building's entrance, reaching for the door.

And,

[Subaru: ――ROSWAAL!]

Violently flinging it open, Subaru tumbled into the building. Through the entryway and past the adjacent living room, he shoved open the flimsy door with nearly enough force to break it.

Inside, were Roswaal, sitting up on the bed, and Ram, diligently tending to him, while their expressions were painted over with surprise.

It was rare to get such a startled reaction from the usually carefree Roswaal and the always brazenly unemotive Ram.

And, since Subaru was about to do something never done before, that would be a good omen.

Counting on their surprise to be the winds of his good fortune, Subaru jutted out his finger at the speechless master and servant, and,

[Subaru: ――Let's make a bet. With your wish and mine as the chips]

-=