Chapter 24: THIS CALLS FOR A WAAAAAGH! Part 1
[Part 1:]
Inside the grand halls of the Goblin King, the air crackled with tension, this grand Stone hall carved out of black obsidian is the very heart of the goblin empire.
Well technically, one Goblin Empire, for there are in fact three of them all over the globe, and they hate one another's guts just as much as they hate everyone else.
The goblins are small, fugly little bastards in the truest sense of the word. First, they're descendants of intercourse between humans and ancient elves, but unlike their brethren the House elves, their story differs.
At a time when the elves ruled the magical world, these little fuckers were seen with disgust and were ostracized for their very nature, which was against nature itself.
You see, they incorporate the worst and best humans have to offer, with the elves' tendency to achieve perfection. Thus, they are the loyalest of allies, the worst of enemies, and the greatest fucking backstabbers in existence.
When the Elves, or as they're also known, the Fae, left this World, they left behind some of their worthy descendants to rule this world. But the Goblins backstabbed them and sold them to the Humans. The Humans took their revenge by enslaving them and their children.
In this way, one branch became the Goblins, and the other one, the hated one, became the House elves. Such is the history of elves, and the Goblins to this day take sick pleasure in seeing their rulers reduced to such a pitiful state.
Not wasting a single thought about the fact that genetically, these House elves are Goblins as well, just malnourished, weak, and broken.
Anyway, the atmosphere within the King's Hall is one of urgency. The normally stoic King Alux has called for a rare emergency meeting. Goblins of all ranks and positions crowded the chamber, their expressions etched with curiosity and concern.
They were whispering and gossiping about the reason for why they've all been gathered together.
Such an assembly is only ever called for when the situation is about to go down the shithole in a glorious and disastrous way.
At the center of the assembly stood the imposing figure of King Alux IV, his sharp eyes surveying his subjects, his crooked nose raised in semi-disgust. Overall, he projected an aura with a mix of authority and apprehension. He pounded his fist against the stone podium, commanding attention with a resounding thud.
"GOBLINS!" his voice boomed, echoing off the cavernous walls. "We are faced with a crisis of unprecedented proportions."
Whispers rippled through the crowd as the goblins exchanged worried glances, sensing that the situation was on its way to be a shitty one, based on the gravity of their king's words.
"For the first time in our history," King Alux continued, "our quarterly profits have stagnated. Our expenses have risen, yet our income remains unchanged."
Gasps of disbelief filled the chamber as the goblins looked shocked and fearful at one another, trying to somehow read in the others' expression that this is just a nightmare. But all of them grappled with this shocking revelation. The very foundation of their wealth and power was under threat.
And instantly all hell broke loose. Some were shouting bloody murder, others demanding answers, some were going as far as to ask for someone's head to roll, but some weathered and wise ones were silently thinking about the implications of this news.
Goblins live frugal lives, and they hoard as such. It is absolutely impossible for them to stagnate or have a deficit. Each child starts hoarding as soon as they get their mommy's tits in their mouths.
If the mother does not look out, one child will shortcut the other to the point of starvation because this is simply their nature. So it is impossible for this situation to have occurred because of something they've done, but instead someone has screwed them over.
Someone has managed to screw them all over, and this is as much something to respect as well as it is a reason to kill. Having a strong opponent is half the fun in defeating them.
"We must act swiftly to uncover the cause of this decline," declared the king, his tone resolute. "I have commanded the finest minds of my Empire to assemble here and investigate this matter with utmost urgency. Find out who dares to challenge the Goblins!!!"
A flurry of activity ensued as goblins scurried to carry out their king's orders, each and every single one of them determined to uncover the source of this financial scandal, of this debauched act of taking their livelyhood, of this thievery, but their motivation varying greatly from one case to another.
As the investigation progressed, each and every bank under the empire's control made a disturbing finding. Muggleborns—these damn children—were exchanging their useless money for exorbitant sums of gold, circumventing the goblin economy and draining their coffers. What was even more alarming was that they seemed to be acting individually but with some coordination.
"This? This is no coincidence! Someone is attacking us! Find out who is behind this!" King Alux commanded angrily.
Goblins hurried away to get the job done, but the next words they heard from their king sent shivers of excitement and worry through them.
"Call my Generals!! If these Wixen want to attack us, I shall take my pound of flesh from them!" The king's shout hinted at the possibility of another rebellion.
Outraged by this blatant exploitation, King Alux's fury knew no bounds. One could say the king was furious that someone had ingeniously screwed him over.
"Also, stop all transactions with the Muggleborns immediately!" He issued a decree.
*Cough*
"My King, there's a problem!" one of the ministers came forward, bowing to the king.
"What is the problem, Farfadet?!" The King nearly shouted, still agitated.
"We cannot do your bidding, my King!" Farfadet said with a steady voice.
"WHY?!" The king bellowed.
"There is a 'Race Contract' in place, my King!" Farfadet said, and everyone within the room blanched.
A Race Contract is the kind of agreement that binds races. Such agreements are rare, having happened fewer times than fingers on a hand. The most recent one occurred under Myrddin Wynn Emrys' watch and involved the Wixen race agreeing to go into hiding until the world was ready for them. This is why the Statue of Secrecy is so important—it is an agreement between the Muggle and Wixen kind to broker peace. Over the years, more laws have been added, and now the International Confederation of Wizards (ICW) is responsible for upholding this contract.
"Fuck!!!! Farfadet, explain!!" The King swore angrily.
"After we got rid of the Elves, we agreed to look after the Humans' wealth in exchange for a fee. Our ancestors wanted to bleed them dry over time because our numbers were not enough! Some of the Goblin rebellions even started because of a direct consequence of this contract, as the Wixen tried to overreach!" Farfadet explained.
"So what is the verdict?" The King demanded to know.
"Well, my King, we cannot stop the transactions unless they break one of our rules. And they have not broken any rules so far. Also, even if we do rebel, we cannot tell them why we are rebelling, because the smarter ones will see an opportunity to bleed us dry even faster," the elderly Goblin explained with defeated, but yet excited tone.
"So we are bound by ancient contracts forged in the aftermath of our races' liberation? Also, we are unable to impose restrictions without violating these oaths, and these bastards are acting within the rules we ourselves have agreed upon?!" the King asked in a defeated tone.
Frustration simmered among the goblin ranks as they grappled with the conundrum.
"Yes!" Farfadet answered.
"How the hell did our ancestors agree to such stupidity?!" One goblin from amongst the crowd asked, shocked.
"Well, at that time and even now, nobody would have ever thought of this ever really becoming an issue. The Wixen have never taken keen interest in finances, and neither have they any compassion for those they deem unworthy, or below themselves. But whoever this new adversary is, he or she is a special breed of enemy. This individual is someone who has managed to find and piece together all the clues available to plot against us, and trap us in an inescapable net. I am sure the other empires are about to come to the same conclusion we have or will do so shortly," Farfadet explained excitedly.
'Why the hell is this shitty sack of old bones excited?!' The king thought annoyed.
"Call for an assembly with the other Kings!" King Alux commanded.
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Hello my dear Muggelonis,
The big bad wolf greets ya mortals, and I demand attention!
I wanna get stoned, so gimme them Power Stones because I want to transform (Fun fact there is an old Anime named Power Stones.)!
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