Chapter 13: Suck my mighty DICK! Part 1
[Part 01: Take what you can. Give nothing back.]
I stayed at the Cullen's place for about a week and started teaching Gayward the concept of Occlumency, but the guy is as dense as a god-damn Mundo player.
I literally can't teach him to just calm down like a normal sentient being, so I opted for OG Severus's approach to teaching idiots.
Furthermore, I brute-forced my way into his mind over and over, which made him somewhat understand his own mind. His power is like a dome—any thought inside this dome gets read by him. Originally, he couldn't cancel his power, and he still can't. But now he can shrink his dome, and by extension, the thoughts he passively picks up.
It's not much better, but it's progress in a single week. I even befriended the rest of the family, well, except for Rosalie.
"That stuck-up bitch with curves to kill for doesn't like me," I think, annoyed.
"He called you a bitch again!" Gayward says, making me flinch and jump out of the way. I'm grateful for my reflexes as a knife passes through the couch exactly where I was sitting.
"Damn it, woman! Stop trying to kill me!" I shout.
"That's not me trying to kill you, you damn imbecile!" she shouts back from the kitchen.
"Who throws a kitchen knife with enough force to embed itself into a stone wall at someone?" I ask the annoyingly dumb, but sexy, idiot.
"He thinks you're sexy!" Gayward blurts out, and I dodge a flying frying pan just in time.
"I swear on Morgana's semi-holy ass, Gayward! If you don't stop it, I'll find the nastiest curse and throw it at your dick! Erectile dysfunction for life, you damn gaylord!" I hiss at him.
"Severus, he's gay!" Emmett says with a dirty smirk.
"And your point is?" I questioned, annoyed at the whole family by now.
"He won't need to use his little bird to get off!" Emmett quipped, and I could see Gayward blanching at the mere thought of what his brother was insinuating.
"Hahaha, Touche! Emmett, my friend, you are my idol!" I said happily.
"Thanks," he replied happily, leaning back to dodge a book homing in for his head.
"Emmett, don't talk to the stupid! His stupidity is contagious!" the blonde bimbo shouted.
"Yes, my dear!" he shouted back before turning to me in a whisper. "I think she likely likes you!"
"Huh?! I thought you two are a couple?" I replied, a bit unsure how to react.
"Man, we basically live forever. Most, if not all of us, after some time, open up our relationships eventually, but we both decide whom we want in," he explained.
"Uh, okay," I said, unsure.
"Do not misunderstand, we love each other, but a little mingling is not all that problematic, and it spices things up!" Emmett clarified.
"Is that just your thing, or does this apply to all vampires?" I inquired.
"Well, this pretty much applies to all vampires, but the courting is important! And you should never— and I cannot emphasize how critical it is— you should never start something emotional with a vampire who has a mate!" he warned me.
"Oh, okay. Then why is Gayward so blue balled, if you all are basically one big open orgy?" I questioned.
"That guy can read minds. Just think about what that does to your self-confidence, if your dick is small, or looks strange. Or god forbid if your nipples are looking strange! He is one walking bundle of self-doubt and self-loathing," Emmett explained with quite a serious tone.
[A/N: Look up Edward Cullen nipples!!! His right nipple is way smaller than his left one!!!! It looks unnerving!!]
'Well, he is right. Usually in life, we all have complexes that we are coping with, but just assuming that I'd be forced to permanently read the thoughts of other people makes me uncomfortable. Imagining what she is thinking during sex is giving me the ick!' I thought with fear.
('Now I get why he is single until he finds Bella.')
"Now you get why he is such an edge-lord, right?" Emmett questioned.
"Yeah, I get it," I replied, repressing a shudder.
"Hello, Sev," the brown-haired bundle of energy of the family said as she approached me like a hunter.
"Hello, Alice. How are you doing this fine morning?" I reply happily.
---
("Alice is a bit like Luna, but less cryptic and dumb, and more useful! I, for one, like her very much!")
"Fantastic! Yesterday while being bored I peeked into the future, and I saw that today in..." she stops and looks at the clock hanging on the wall.
"In around 3 minutes, you'll shout something about Squibs, Merlin's saggy balls, and how they can all suck your mighty dick while starting to dance, and then Rosalie punches you in the gut. So I am warning you to be prepared for the punch and eventual follow-ups!" She whispers by the end.
'Squibs?!' I contemplate.
"Are you sure I shouted out 'Squib'?" I ask her.
"Absolutely! And then you'd just disappear for 20 seconds before reappearing, saying your goodbyes, and disappearing again. But you'll be handing Carlisle, Emmett, and me something before disappearing without giving any explanations," she narrates the happenings of a future I am unsure what to think of.
"Okay?! Why would I be excited about Squibs?!" I question nobody but myself.
"Don't know. You will probably think of something nobody else has ever thought of. I don't know what would make a Wolf tick!" She says with a smirk on her lips.
('Yes, she knows about me being a True Wolf! The damn stalker watched so far into the future where I confessed to her what I am. This girl is basically a walking spoiler for everything that is fun!')
"Wait a second!" I think as I freeze.
"SQUIBS!!!" I shout!
*Hahahahaha*
I start laughing so hard it starts to hurt!
"By Merlin's saggy balls!!!" I basically shout as I start jumping around like an idiot!
('Why has no one thought about them!' The church knows the method how to create True Wolves, but they fail miserably at it! Why?! What if the missing requirement is Magic, or magical blood, like in a Squib, or in a Wizard?! What if the common denominator is that! They somehow managed to get their hands on a Muggle Born Squib, through some shit load of luck! And that Squib did get bitten, and because him being a Squib he fought back with his hands, and maybe due to him being an idiot, or a genius he feasted on the wolf! But he did not know, or consider his heritage, and this is why they're failing miserably. Squibs and magic are the keys to creating True Wolves!!! If they knew this, they'd be drowning us all in True Wolves!)
*Hahahaha*
"Suck my mighty dick!!!" I shout quite excitedly just when Rosalie enters the room, and she freezes, before turning red, followed by her eyes taking on a dangerous glint.
'Oh shit, the punch!!' I think in fear as I dodge her punch, but I forget about the follow-up! She does an out-of-this-world turn and places her knee in my side, lifting me off my feet before punching me into the ground.
'Damn it, woman, this shit hurts!!!' I barely manage to think.
After a few short seconds, I am back on my feet and I apparate away to my own place. Yeah, I have my own place in New Orleans. It's a one-room apartment, but my Suitcase with expanded space is there, and my Suitcase is insane! Newt's has nothing on mine, as my Gramps did not shy away from spending the extra coin so that I have all that I need!
I apparate back and hand out three books to Carlisle, Emmett, and Alice, and then I apparate back to get myself a Portkey back to Britain.
('I need to test out my theory and recruit Squibs if it is proven correct! All of them for my personal Army!')
"What is wrong with the idiot?!" Rosalie asks annoyed.
"Don't know, but he will stay in contact with us through these books!" Alice explains.
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Greetings, everyone!
Sorry for the delay! I've been ill for the last few days and was coughing out my lungs.
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