Chapter 69

I floated up by the ceiling of the room. It was if I could see everything, know everything they were thinking. I knew my body was in the shower dying but I didn't really care.

"I think we were too harsh with her. I know she was just teasing, and I agree she took it too far. But I think we really hurt her."

Loki sat with his head down in his hands, replaying in his mind her exit. The pain he had seen flash in her eyes and then how all emotion in them died. How her face went pale and blank. He had been so scared of failing her, his one true fear, that when she revealed her joke, he had snapped and reacted before he thought. 

Bucky and he had both felt betrayed and had closed her out. She had hurt him, and he had lashed out, just like his old self. He replayed it again, not answering Bucky. He knew he had hurt her. He just didn't know how to fix it.

A loud and urgent banging on the door snapped his head up. Bucky crossed the room and opened the door to find a panicked Wanda.

"What did you do!?"

"What do you mean Wanda?"

"Ariane. What did you do?! I've always low-level felt her as I do everyone. But now she's gone. She has shielded so tightly I can't even feel her at all. Why would she do that? What happened? I know she didn't leave the Tower and F.R.I.D.A.Y says she is in her room, but I can't feel her anymore."

Fear gripped Loki. He opened his mind wide and tried to reach her. The doors for them were gone, just stone. He tried to break through, but it was too thick. Too late he remembered her past and what he had said to her, how he had shut her out, how he had wounded her. And now it may be too late to fix it. She had shut them out completely.

Frantic, he saw Bucky doing the same, mentally beating on the wall. They gave each other a look and darted for her room. He banged on the door.

"Ariane. Please open the door. Please. I am sorry for what I said. Please just open the door." 

There was silence in the room. Fear and dread filled him. Had he lost her by his own carelessness? 

"Something is wrong. Break the door down Barnes."

Bucky rammed the door with his metal shoulder, trying to break his way in. Finally, the door gave in, and they rushed into the room. She wasn't in there. Then he heard the shower running. 

Loki ran in and stopped in shock as he saw my body on the floor, wrists cut and unconscious. He gave a scream of pain that came from his soul. He went into the shower and dropped to his knees, agony written on his face. Bucky screamed for Bruce and had F.R.I.D.A.Y alert him as well. Then he turned off the water so that it wouldn't burn my body anymore. I watched as Wanda cried, devastated. Loki and Bucky together held my body, my blood staining their clothes. Distantly I was surprised I had any blood left. Whatever I was now floated, still watching.

Bruce came running in and slid to his knees next to me. "Let go of her. I need to see her."

Reluctantly Bucky and Loki gave Bruce my body. He listened to my heart. "Her heart's still beating but it's faint. We don't have much time." He became the Hulk right there, destroying the shower. He picked me up and ran towards the med lab. He could run faster than anyone when he was the Hulk. He started to turn back into Bruce as he entered the med lab and the others rushed in. He put me on a table and started an IV in one arm and a blood transfusion in the other. 

"If you two are going to stand there, do something useful. Get me more bags of blood. AB- and type O. She's almost empty and we are going to need everything I have to keep her alive. When I get her stable, I want to know what the fuck happened."

He inspected the cuts on my wrists. "God damnit!"

Steve came flying in and heard Bruce. It stopped him cold. Bruce never swore or sounded angry. He saw me lying on the table, no color left to my body other than the burns on my skin. "What the hell happened? Bruce how can I help?" 

Bruce pointed. 'Get me the suture kit. Fuck. I'm not a damn surgeon but I have to try." He looked down at me. "She severed every major artery in her wrists, every tendon. Even if I can save her life, I don't know if she'll be able to use her hands again."

Loki and Bucky had rushed in with the bags that Bruce had asked for just in time to hear about my hands. They both gave tortured groans. This was their fault. And because of a memory lapse on both their parts, now they were going to lose her. I could hear their thoughts clearly. Neither would follow me like they had promised. My ghost-self cried and turned away, not wanting to hear the rest. No one really cared. Bruce was only trying to save me because that's what he does. 

He started to stitch my wrists back together. I watched, not feeling anything anymore. I started fading and I knew even this part of me would be gone soon. I watched as several bags of blood were pumped into my body. Suddenly monitors started going off like crazy. 

"FUCK! She's crashing! Get me the goddamn crash cart! I will NOT lose her today!" 

"Crashing? What does that mean? Barnes, you are more familiar with this world, what does that mean?"

Bucky looked devastated and looked at Loki and whispered "Her heart stopped beating. He has to try to get it going again. If he can't…"

"NO!" Loki dropped to his knees. Pain seized his heart. He was the cause of her death after all. 

"CLEAR!" Bruce used the paddles to shock my body. I felt the faintest pull, but it was gone so quickly that I didn't pay attention to it.

"Up the charge. Come one fucker, charge! I'm running out of time… finally. Clear!"

He shocked me again and I was half pulled back to my body. I didn't know what was happening. Was I going to have to stay and deal with the fact I wasn't wanted?

"FUCK! I only have time for one more try before it's too late." He turned the charge as high as it would go. "Please, God. CLEAR!!"

This time when the shock went through my body, I was fully pulled back in. Before I dropped into unconsciousness, I heard the monitor start to beep as my heart started beating again. My final thought of ``Why even try?" faded as darkness took over.