Worst Nightmare

I put the groceries up and checked on the puppies. They were doing fine, and so was Mamma. She was doing much better at this mothering thing than I gave her credit for.

It was a half-day at school, so the girls started arriving home. I made them some pizza rolls and sent them to play outside. Well, they didn't play. They complained, moaned, groaned, and took a lot of selfies.

I looked around the house; it was a mess. I was disappointed in myself for letting it get this bad. There were torn-up paper bits all over the floor from the dogs - believe it or not, they can make much more of a mess than the teenagers who didn't do anything.

I looked at the counters, and last night's dinner dishes were still there. I needed to do better, but today was not that day. It seemed impossible; I didn't have the energy to clean it. Finally, I laid down on the couch, moving an empty can of corn with a cigarette butt, and started to doze when there was a knock at the door.

What now? I thought to myself.

I pulled the door open, and a plain-looking woman in a blue suit stood in front of me.

"Hello, my name is Karen; I am with the Department of Children and Families. May I come in?"

Every fiber in my being was screaming no. In my head, I heard, Close the door. Just shut it in her face. Say no and close the door.

I smiled weakly and said, "Sure, come in."

She walked in and looked around with a disgusted look on her face.

"The reason I am here is that Code Enforcement called. They said they were condemning your house but couldn't make you leave and feared for the safety of your two children. Why would you keep your children in a house that's been condemned?"

"I mean, it's just been condemned today; it's not like I was keeping them here forever," I said defensively.

"Oh, good, so you're planning on leaving?" She asked with doubt in her eyes.

"We don't have anywhere to go. If we leave, we'll be homeless. What do you want us to do? A roof over our head is better than no roof."

"In most cases, that'd be true, but this place is at high risk of catching fire. The man from Code Enforcement was surprised it hadn't already. Do you have any family your girls can stay with?"

"Probably, but they won't let me and my fiancé stay. We would be separated."

"Well, your choices right now are either send them to a family member's house right away or they go into foster care."

I am pretty sure that was a bluff, but I was put on the spot and terrified. It never even occurred to me to question anything she said. She wanted to take my kids away. She had my attention.

"Really? We have been living here for three years. This is the landlord's fault, not ours. No one cared about helping us this whole time, but now all of a sudden, y'all care. This is bullshit."

"It doesn't matter whose fault it is, we are in this situation now, and I am not leaving them here. Had I known about the situation before, I would have stepped in earlier."

I called my mom; she has severe OCD, so I knew she couldn't take care of them long-term. She did not handle raising children well…but I thought she could buy me some time.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom, I need to ask you a huge favor. Will you take the girls overnight and help me get them to Kiki's house?"

"Why?"

"I have DCF here. My house was condemned today, and if I don't find somewhere for them to go right now, they will take them."

"Okay, bring them over."

"Mom, can you get a hold of Kiki and let her know what is going on, and ask her if she will take the girls until I can get back on my feet? This lady isn't leaving until everything has been agreed upon."

"Yes, whatever you need; they can't go to foster care."

"Code enforcement called on us."

"I thought something like this might happen; you should have left well enough alone."

That was the understatement of the year.

I turned to Karen and said, "My mom will take them for the night, and my sister will get them tomorrow. I have to call my fiancé to get the girls over there."

"No, they'll be riding with me; you can call him for a ride for yourself. I will be at your sister's house tomorrow to see if they arrived. If I see them at this house. Even outside the house waiting on you to grab something, I will take them away, and you will never see them again. Is that clear?"

This was definitely a bluff, but I didn't question it at the time. It was the golden rule. Keep the kids away from the house. Check. I couldn't afford to believe her.

"Crystal."

I called Zach. So far, I had been holding it together, but as soon as I heard his voice, I let the floodgates go.

"Yes, baby?"

"I need you to come home right now," I sobbed.

"What's going on? Is something wrong with Maggie and the puppies?"

"No, a DCF worker is here. If we don't let her take the girls to my mom's right now, they will go to foster care. They are going to have to stay at Kiki's."

"I'm on my way."

I went out to where the girls were.

"I am going to need you girls to get some stuff packed. I will help you, but try to pack everything important to you."

"Why?" Kim demanded.

"You will have to stay with Aunt Kiki for a while. This lady here is going to take you to Grandma's house."

"You promised I could stay in the same high school. I don't want to start a new school."

"Kim, I'm really, really tired. I am sorry… I have no choice. It's either Aunt Kiki's or a Foster home. The woman in the living room is from DCF. They condemned the house, and it is unsafe for you guys to live in anymore."

"Okay then, get a new house."

"We will, baby, but I need you to pack some stuff in the meantime. You can't stay here. She was very set on this point. She said if I even have y'all in the yard after you leave- she will take you away from me. I am sorry."

"It's fine. I will pack."

I gathered up all their clothes, shoes, and other things I knew they would need while I assigned them the task of packing whatever they didn't want to be left behind when we moved from here. They did an excellent job of packing light.

Zach pulled up, and Jocelyn ran out to hug him. She had always been a daddy's girl. She tried to climb in the back seat after we put their stuff in the trunk.

"I am sorry, Jo, you must go with her."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I wish I was."