Minami stared into the computer in complete shock. There, on the screen, were the retouched and edited photos of her album covers.
Her eyes were practically glazed over as she examined every pixel.
"I've sent you these through your email. You can post them after your single is released." Makoto said in an almost warning tone.
Minami simply nodded and uttered a quiet, "Uh-huh…"
Her gaze was only broken when Makoto turned the screen back to face him.
For a moment, she reached her hand out as if to say, "Wait! Don't go!" to the beautiful images on the screen.
He continued speaking to her for a while afterwards, but she was unable to hear what he was saying.
'I still can't believe that was me in those photos….I looked like a real idol…..I'm going to be on someone's shelf….someone is going to use their allowance to buy my song….someone is going to cry at the thought of meeting me….that's going to be me….'
She cupped her cheeks as tears stung the back of her eyes. It was really all coming together. Her dream of debut was right in her lap and everything was starting to feel so, so real.
"Are you okay?" Makoto sighed as he stared at her.
His voice ripped her out of her thoughts and she stared at him blankly for a moment.
"Huh? Oh..Oh! I'm fine!" She awkwardly tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as a red hue began to color her face.
"Okay, good. You're dismissed for the day."
Minami grabbed her white bag and stood up and began to walk away, before quickly turning back around and stopping in front of his desk again.
"Actually, I would like to ask something if that's alright?"
"Sure, go ahead. Make it quick." Makoto was already typing and scrolling away at his computer, and didn't take his eyes off of his work to acknowledge her.
"My debut is getting closer and I'm gaining more and more support. Would it be alright if I posted a clip of My Days on my social media? I think it would gain a lot of hype…" She bit her lip and fidgeted with her bag's strap as she awaited the outcome.
"Typically, companies will put out an official teaser alongside the music video. Your music video hasn't even completed filming yet." He replied matter of fact.
"Right, but I was thinking. I could put something like, 'I have something to announce,' or 'I have a surprise that is coming soon,' and then by the time you post the official trailer, then people will be excited and think like, 'Oh! That's what that was, I'm so excited,' and 'I've really been waiting for this to be released! Congrats on debut!' and I think that overall it will just cause more buzz. What do you think?"
She wanted him to say yes so bad, she felt like she may just have a toddler temper tantrum right here in this office if he said no.
Makoto thought for a moment before replying, "You can upload only the first chorus, and you can say, 'I have a surprise for you. Please endure the wait with this.' And nothing else. Do you understand? Don't post the photos, don't post any behind the scenes photos, if anyone asks you anything about it, don't respond."
Minami gasped as a wide smile spread across her face. She jumped in the air and let out an ecstatic, "EEK!" which caused a quick smile to appear and disappear on Makoto's face.
"Thank you! Don't worry! I'll do just as you said!"
She hugged her bag to her body and rushed home to edit and upload the clip.
There she sat, at her computer desk with her social media page open. The eight second clip and the caption, 'I have a surprise for you! Please endure the wait with this!' ready to be posted.
Her hand was on the mouse and the cursor was right over the 'PUBLISH' button.
…..
'Okay Minami, any day now…..post it!' she thought as her finger hesitated.
…..
"UGH!" She groaned out loud and ran her fingers through her hair.
'What if they don't like it…what if they think it's not /ME/ enough? What if they hate it? What if they hate me?'
A whirlwind of thoughts and anxiety rushed through her mind and body as she hesitated.
She bit on her thumb nail, 'Just post it you dummy….you post covers all the time….people like you! They'll be excited for you! They're your fans, they'll support you!'
She chewed on her lip, 'But what if they're not REALLY my fans? What if posting this will make me lose them all? What if they hate it?'
She tilted her head in thought, 'But then….I'm already going to release it….so it's inevitable that they'll find out…'
She sighed, 'BUT THEN….what if-'
She shook her head and stood up, walking to the middle of her room.
"Stop it Minami! You're completely overthinking and blowing this out of proportion! Just shake it out!" She jumped up and down and shook her arms, "Get it out! Get it out!"
Minami sat back down at her computer chair, "Okay, let's just do it. One click…that's all it takes."
She took a deep breath, clicked 'PUBLISH' and closed the screen, shoving herself backwards in her chair.
"I CAN'T LOOK!" She covered her eyes, as if that made any difference.
'BZZ! BZZ! BZZ! BZZ! BZZ! BZZ!'
Her phone was going off like crazy. She gulped hard, a fierce bout of anxiety began churning inside her stomach as she slowly reached her shaky hand out to grab her phone.
"Only eight seconds?! I need way more than that!"
"Oh my god? Debut? DEBUT? Is this a debut?! Is that the surprise?!"
"You know you're wrong for only giving eight seconds…."
"I'm going to replay this eight seconds for hours….Please give more!"
"This is so good! I want more!"
"Please give more! What's the surprise?!"
"This song is SOOO GOOD!"
A wide smile spread across her face, reaching ear to ear.
Minami fell to knees as she sighed in relief, her anxiety completely draining out of her and leaving her weak.
"Thank goodness they like it…"
She spent the next few hours liking comments and reading through the overwhelmingly positive response.
'Okay, okay, we've got to tell Akina and show her the photos!'
She pulled the photos up on her email and sent them to her phone.
[Minami] How do they look?! Also, look at my account…I posted the clip to my debut on there. Tell me what you think!
It took a few moments before Akina responded.
[Akina] Omg!! You look so pretty! Not that you don't always look pretty hehe~
[Akina] My best friend is so famous!!!
[Akina] I love it, I can't wait to hear the whole thing!!
[Akina] BEAUTIFUL!!!!
[Minami] Thanks! I can't wait to show you the whole thing and the music video! I'm so excited! <3 <3
[Akina] <3 <3
Tomorrow, she'd be meeting Akina and Naoto at the café. It was going to be awkward after she broke it off with Naoto, but she was hoping she and Akina could hang out after.
If it went as she planned, she and Naoto would break up, Naoto would be upset and leave, then she and Akina would have café alone time without worry. Then, she'd be able to show her some of the behind-the-scenes videos from her music video shoot that her manager shot on his phone and the two of them could fangirl and freak out.
Suddenly, her smile dropped and she teared up.
'Stop it Minami. You're being so stupid.' She wiped the tears that rolled down her face.
Admittedly, she wished she could also share this moment with Juri and Saki.
After all, she and Juri WOULD talk all the time about how they'd stand of stage together and how they'd collaborate.
She could just picture Juri saying something like, "You did it Minami! This is so cool! Don't get too famous and let me catch up so we can collaborate, don't forget our promise! You better not forget me…."
At least….she would've said that before she had such a sudden shift in attitude. Minami still wasn't sure what had caused Juri to become so cold towards her and even thinking in hindsight…she couldn't pinpoint anything.
It was the same with Saki. She could just hear her saying, "Minamina! I can't believe I'm friends with an idol! You did such a good job! You sound so professional!!!"
'They don't LIKE you Minami….get over it. They're not real friends and they never were. Why do you keep wanting them?' Tears were flowing past her cheeks and down onto her thighs, creating a mini river onto the floor.
She sniffled and wiped them away, 'You're so stupid….'
What useless memories she had. Why couldn't she get rid of them? Why did those two keep creeping back up on her? She wanted to be done with them forever.