I Ain't Fat, I'm Pregnant

Billie Bob Taylor 

The first thing I saw when the mysterious cap opened was the black Stetson Presidente hat and of course when I looked down the black leather boots with gold spurs. 

"Pa!" I screamed as I ran down the porch stairs and immediately collided with the wall of his body. 

He wrapped his thick muscular arms around me and lifted me off the ground with a loud bear roar, "Bilbob! Look at you, soldier. You look so much better son."

I knew I was smiling from ear to ear because of the shiny silver mirror surface of aviator sunglasses that showed my reflection. "Do I? I thought I done gained some weight you know."

He waved his hands dismissively, "True men pack up. Who got time for being skinny?"