Chapter 01 : Philosophy and Morals

Monday, 11:02am

"We'll discuss Andrew's idea in the next meeting" the manager—Ms. Aaliyah—said

Everyone scrambled to pick up their paperwork and Rose (the secretary) collected the lipstick samples off the table.

"Blair? Could I have a word with you?" Ms. Aaliyah asked with a soft smile, though it was clear it wasn't a question. It was a demand, she just wanted to seem polite.

"Yes ma'am " Blair replied, her lips set on a straight line

As everyone started walking out the door and the projector turned off, Blair took the time to admire her department's manager.

She was around the age of 40, heart faced with cherry lips and a defined Cupid bow. Long brown hair and hazel eyes with a straight nose to match.

Aaliyah only ever used makeup produced by KLARE and affordable drugstore ones.

Her philosophy was :

'No one can tell what brand or price your makeup is. Makeup is simply a decoration, if the base is of bad quality then what is the point of expensive décor? Invest in your skin and decorate it later.'

"I want you to be the supervisor of the new makeup refresher kit we're releasing" Aaliyah sat down

Blair looked up at the ceiling for a minute, contemplating what she should do.

It was true that she hated doing anything that required energy but, when she unfortunately had to do something; she did it to her utmost best.

Why would she do something she didn't really have to do?

It was too much of a bother, and she did not care enough about making a name in the beauty industry.

"I apologies but I don't think I'm experienced enough to supervise it" she looked back at her supervisor

"I think you are. You're dedicated and very professional, you take your work seriously and I could tell you enjoy it"

Blair almost scoffed. Enjoy it? No, she hated having to work. She enjoyed being the best.

She enjoys doing better than everyone despite the fact that she is barely trying.

It's like mocking them; 'hey look! You're trying so hard but I'm still doing better! I don't wanna do this and I'm not trying but I'm still better! Be sad, be as miserable as I am! Do you see how much life sucks? Do you? Now that I'm better than you, do you realize how much life sucks?'

It was somehow comforting. Knowing that someone is probably feeling discouraged because of her. That she's not the only person that hates their life.

"Thank you for the offer, I'm not interested" Blair gave a slight bow of her head before leaving the room.

It was surely rude to leave the room before your boss gives permission but what were they gonna do about it? Fire her? Fire their best employee in the marketing department?

Everyone has a set of rules they follow to live their life, whether that be consciously or subconsciously.

Blair had 3 very simple rules:

1. Be the best

2. Avoid any new friendship/relationship

3. Maintain composure

She took long, steady strides towards the little cafeteria section to make herself a coffee.

Anyone with eyes could tell Blair was hot, and she knew it.

Black almond eyes and pink lips, straight nose and long dark hair. Her posture never slouched and she never looked down. Her voice was steady and she always knew what to say.

It was as if the Korean beauty standard was based off of her.

The water started to boil and she poured the patch of instant coffee in her chocolate brown mug when two of her coworkers walked in to the kitchen area and started making their own coffee.

Now she was in a hurry to get her drink and leave.

"I'm going to try to talk with Ms. Aaliyah about supervising the new kit we're releasing" the blonde girl said

Blair's ears perked up at that.

"You should, it would really help you climb up in this industry" the one with a sparkly black hijab smiled comfortingly

"I'll talk to her today when she's having lunch, this could really help me" the blonde said, a hint of excitement lacing her voice

The water heater made a beeping sound signaling that the water was ready, Blair grabbed in swiftly and poured it in her mug before giving it a quick mix and walking back to Aaliyah's office.

She wasn't going to let the blonde take that position.

It's not like Blair didn't know someone else was going to have to supervise if she rejected the offer, it was simply the thrill of taking away something someone really wanted.

Her philosophy was simple :

I was born against my will so, I must be a menace that God cannot stand.

She thought, perhaps if she did enough terrible things, a deity or whatever powerful being would take her back into non-existing.

Suicide was an option, but she wanted that to be the last show.

She must make them mourn while she is alive, and then she must make them mourn again after her death.

Although, she had thought of killing herself before. It was a very common thought. So common it was like breathing.

Everyday on her way to work, she thought of the various ways she could just die.

As she cut up her morning fruit, she thought of stabbing her self.

As she passed by the Brooklyn bridge, she thought of jumping.

As she waited for the metro, she thought of jumping.

As she stood at the sidewalk, she thought of standing in the middle of traffic.

There were so many ways.

Perhaps the reason she hadn't killed herself yet was her indecisiveness.

Blair knocked on her manager's door three times before she walked in "I thought about what you said. It's a good opportunity, I'll do it."

Aaliyah smiled back "I knew you'd come around" she stood up "we'll discuss everything and I'll announce you as new supervisor in the meeting tomorrow morning. For now.." she handed Blair a file "do this. Go through the sample and make sure there is no errors."

"Yes ma'am" Blair grabbed the file with a nod "well, excuse me" She made her way towards the door

"Oh and Blair?" Aaliyah stopped her from leaving "come to my office after the meeting tomorrow. There's someone I want you to meet."

Blair gave a hesitant node and walked out.

She attempted to comb through her hair with her slender hand "great. More work" she muttered between her teeth

**

The sun has started to set and most of the people in office had already left.

Blair was left doing more work for the product she was in charge of supervising with rage brewing in her veins.

Oh how she hated her competitiveness.

Suddenly she heard a light sob and turned her head towards the sound. Her blonde coworker was letting out silent tears as her hijabi friend comforted her "I really thought I-I was gonna get the job" she sniffled

"You tried your best, I'm sure next time will be bett-"

"It won't!" Her voice got louder and subsequently her eyes slightly widened at her outburst, then she whisper yelled at her friend "I try so hard to do well and I never succeed! What's the fucking point anymore! I just want to quit and go stay with my grandma at the village"

A subtle feeling of pride engulfed Blair. The coming long nights of working were gonna be so worth it.

It was rewarding. Knowing that she wasn't the only miserable one.

She knew it was sadistic and evil, how could someone be so disgusting and cruel? But it was okay, as long as she kept her thoughts to herself.

Admittedly though, sometimes she questioned herself. Was it worth it? Hurting other just to feel some sort of belonging?

Why did she enjoy hurting people like this?

And then she answers her own questions.

'I am my parents child. I am like this because they are like this. The only way to break the cycle is to die, and if I will die then I will not make them miss me. I will be a burden even after death'

She knew she was fucked up. But isn't that good? Doesn't knowing you're bad, make you—in some way—less bad?

But it was getting late, and Blair was too tired to question her morals.

She would do that as she stood in front of the metro, or over the Brooklyn bridge, or with a knife in her hands.

It's stupid to expect everyone to be good. Especially a main character.

Reality is; not a lot of people are genuine.

Blair was a part of the majority. Even she knew that much.

She packed up her paperwork and shut off her computer before getting up and walking towards the elevator.