XI.

Just after an hour ay nahimasmasan na si Justine. Paloma and Tantan volunteered na ihatid siya sa bahay nila after eating at Mama Cherry's place. The three of them agreed to go back on New Year's eve.

Justine lives near Mama Cherry's house. Sitio Macapugay, just a few streets away from the woman's house is said to be the densest baranggay. Almost impenetrable dahil sa mga siksikang bahay, dikit-dikit na poste at buhol-buhol na mga alambre at kable ng kuryente. The place is like a conclusion sa mga magkakatabing subdivision around the area. It is also notorious for fire break outs and gang riots.

Beside the creek in the middle of the sitio is a dilapidated and sturdy house made from light materials. In front of it is a large window na natatakpan ng yero. Naka-sabit ang makukulay na paninda. Justine, Tantan and Paloma try to squeeze themselves in.

Naka-kalat pa ang mga panindang school supplies at laruan na naka-balot sa plastik. Tantan immediately kneeled at dumapa sa sahig. He reeks of alcohol at nahihilo din siya ng bahagya. Buti na lang at hindi napadami ang inom nila. Paloma sits on a small chair while Justine went inside the house to get them some water.

Tantan can see Paloma opening her gift from Mama Cherry. Isang set ng make up. ''Bhe buksan mo din sa'kin'' he said as his vision starts to get blurry. Paloma opens it and a sketchpad is revealed. He tries to smile amidst the burning feeling his chest is starting to feel.

''Umupo ka bakla. Wag mong sabihin ikaw naman ang magpapa-alaga naka isang shot ka lang ng The Bar hayop ka'' Justine said to Tantan when he arrives with a pitcher of water. But it was too much for Tantan. He rarely drinks. Still, he sits and comfortably rests his back on a huge white shelf.

Tantan can see Justine's eyes still with that apparent redness which is a result of non-stop crying as he pours him a glass of water. Nahimasmasan na siya but his breathing speaks of something so heavy inside of him.

''Gusto mo pabugbog natin si Kevin?'' Paloma said as Tantan drinks water. Muntik na niya mabuga ang tubig.

''Parang kang tanga bakla. Mahal ko pa yun kahit sinaktan ako. Saka di naman ako sanggano. Ito naturingang anak ng tanod, basagulera.'' This makes Tantan's eyebrows raise a few inches. ''Hindi ba dapat magalit ka? Pinagpalit ka sa milay?'' Tantan asks.

''Ano kasi yan bakla. May steps. Process ang heartbreak. Syempre kanina ko lang nalaman di'ba sa facebook. Ngayon hindi pa ako ganun ka-galit. Sakit pa lang talaga yung nararamdaman ko pero alam ko kasing mahal ko pa. Kung pwede nga lang pumunta ako dun tapos luluhod ako at magmama-kaawa na balikan ako gagawin ko''

Ridiculous, Tantan thought in his head. ''Alam ko iniisip mo na ang tanga-tanga ko. Ganun talaga ang nagmamahal Tantan'' It's as if Justine read his mind.

''Beh wala akong sinasabi'' ''Wag mo na ikaila teh. Intindihin mo na lang ako. Si Kevin lang yung totoong nagmahal sa'kin. Saka alam ko na ako talaga ang mahal nun. Panakip butas lang yung babaeng yun kasi nga hindi siya makapag-ladlad. Pag nalaman ng tatay nun baka palayasin siya.''

''Oo nga. Alam ko. Chill ka lang bhe. Defensive ka naman masyado. Oo na mahal mo na talaga.''

''Eh di New year's resolution mo na ang mag move on chingu-yah ha. Tutulungan ka namin. Alam mo naiisip ko pwedeng humanap ka ng bagong boylet. Para lang tulungan ka mag move on. Hindi naman pwede si Kevin lang may pamalit dapat ikaw din.'' Paloma said checking her new make up from Mama Cherry.

''Naiisip ko din yan bakla. Basta magpapasabog ako pagbalik ng pasukan. Magpapaganda pa ako lalo. Magpapalagay ako ng dede saka balakang kagaya ni Mama Cherry para makita ni Kevin sinong pinagpalit niya''

''Dapat ikaw din Tantan. Humanap ka naman ng lovelife. Bumona ka na bago tayo grumaduate'' Tantan slightly slaps Paloma's face. ''Baliw. Ewan ko sa'yo''

''Si Aki ayaw mo?'' malisyoso ang tono ni Justine. Kukunot ang noo ni Tantan ''Chika minute mo Justine'' ''Teh laging namumula pisngi mo pag kasama natin yung tao. Para kang pure foods tender juicy hotdog. Pabebe kaasar. Saka bet nga si Aki. Mayaman pa saka mabango. Ayaw mo talaga?''

This is all sounding ridiculous to him.

''Baka ikaw may gusto?''

''Ayoko di ako mahilig sa tsinito. Itong si Paloma lang saka ikaw lang naman mahilig sa mga mapuputi. Gusto ko moreno.''

''Tropa yun gagsti'' Tantan, sounding defensive. ''Tropa tropa. Ulol. Dyan din kami nag start ni Kevin. Push mo na si Aki. Ano ayaw mo nga? Chat natin dali. O sige kung ayaw mo. Paloma sa'yo na lang si Aki.''

Iirapan lang siya ni Paloma as the girl tries to put some eyeshadow on her eyes.

Sounds of dogs barking and men shouting caught their attention. The three of them peep through a hole at nakita ang isang namumuong riot sa labas. ''Gago ka Bentong akin na yang 500. Putang ina mo magnanakaw ka eh!'' shouted one of the men.

They look at one another upon realizing na meron din nga pala silang 500 pesos. ''Parang 500 lang magpapatayan na yung mga kapit bahay mo bhe'' Tantan said. ''Hayaan mo yang mga yan. Laging nagbubugbugan yang mga yan dahil sa pera eh. Oh basta tayo promise natin hindi tayo gagaya sa mga yan ha.''

''Oo naman'' Tantan and Paloma said in chorus. ''Pinky promise'' Tantan initiated and the three of them found themselves laughing for no apparent reason.

This is what Christmas looks like in Tantan's eyes. The clear image of his friends making ridiculous promises while talking about love, ghosts and even their most hated personalities sa klase.

And so that midnight passed by. Tantan went home with his new sketchpad at tama siya. Tulog na ang nanay at tatay niya. Jennifer and his Kuya Sander together with Julius are nowhere to be seen. At least once a year solo niya ang apat na sulok ng maliit na kwartong dapat sa kaniya naman talaga from the very beginning.

That night he went to bed holding on to his sketchpad and a few simple memories he will treasure forever including the boy at the church. Tantan can't stop thinking about him.

Kung bakit hindi niya ito kinwento kina Paloma at Justine. Maybe, just maybe he wanted to be selfish. He made a pinky promise for himself before closing his eyes. That if he sees the boy again ay hindi na niya ito papansin and he will move on.