DEEP

Mino's P.O.V

I slowly closed my eyes as I can clearly hear the water pouring down the waterfall. I need to calm this feeling in my chest. I breathed slowly, aiming to fill up my lungs with fresh air and calmly exhaled. I slowly opened my eyes yet my chest continued to beat like it was being chased by something.

I move both of my feet back and forth while I was sitting on the same cliff where I fell last time. I looked down at the calm deep water of the river where I decided to end my life but got a nerve wrecking vision instead.

I sighed deeply as the memories of that kiss underwater flashed on my mind again. I was supposed to die here, this is where my life should have ended but I saw a reason to live. I choose to continue my life because of that vision that is engraved on my heart deeply.

But now, I needed to stay because of this guilt in my chest as well as this feeling within me that is starting to unleash. I can help but to feel peaceful despite the chaos on my mind. The surrounding is indeed beautiful and such a pleasant sight.

Bata pa lamang ako ay talagang napapahanga na ako sa ganda ng kalikasan. I smiled shortly with the idea that struck me, isn't it ironic? I am a nature lover then I am slowly being attracted with a princess that can control nature as well.

Muli akong napahinga nang malalim, what's with this feeling? I am not a high school student anymore that is having a petty crush with someone but what I am right now is something close to it. We already shared a touched, a kiss and even a bite but all along there is something within me that is beginning to be out of control.

"Oh come on!" I frustratingly exclaimed while I harshly rubbed the back of my head. This is frustrating the hell out of me. Hindi maaari na ganito lamang kabilis ang lahat! This is way to fast! I need to slow down and take it calmly.

Mabilis kong inihiga ang aking sarili sa damuhan habang marahas kong tinapik ang aking noo. "I am not a teenager anymore, this is such a cringe worthy," marahas kong turan sa aking sarili. Fuck! I am way all to old for this kind of feelings.

I unconsciously looked at my left and I saw the old notebook lying just in front of my tilted head. I know for a fact that is not for me but I can't tame my curiosity. Maybe just a peak? I promise, sisilipin ko lang talaga.

I quickly grabbed the notebook and opened it. Agad akong napapikit dahil sa may nahulog na kung ano sa aking mga mata, mabilis ko itong pinulot atsaka tinigan habang muli kong ibinaba ang notebook. It is a dried flower na natupi na nang husto dahil sa pagkakasingit nito sa pahina ng notebook.

Ipinatong ko muna ito sa aking dibdib at muling kinuha ang notebook atsaka binuklat. "Bakit si Prinsesa Vreihya ang pinakamagandang prinsesa sa lahat?" mabagal kong basa sa unang mga kataga na sumalubong sa akin. I bit my lower lip when the question sunk on my mind.

Bakit nga ba siya ang pinakamagandang prinsesa sa lahat? Tila hindi naman mahirap sagutin. When it comes to physical aspect ay talaga namang hindi na kaduda-duda. Her pitch black long hair complimented her beautiful eyes.

Don't get me started with her luscious lips as well as her curves. Her- wait what the? Why the hell am I imagining her body and her beautiful features on my mind? Hell Mino! Stop that!

Marahas kong iniling ang aking ulo at muling bumalik sa pagbabasa. "Hindi lamang ang kaniyang panlabas na anyo ang kaakit-akit ngunit maging ang pag-ibig niya sa mga katulad kong hamak na batang taga-baryo lamang. Siya lamang ang batang bumababa sa karwahe at nag-aabot ng magagandang bulaklak. Siya lamang ang prinsesang hindi nais na luhudan ngunit matindi ang nais na maglingkod."

I immediately blink multiple times, wondering whether what I've had read is right. I am just unable to utter some words. I flipped another page without even moving on from what was written earlier.

"Nakita ko na naman muli ang prinsesa, tagtuyot na muli ang panahon kaya naman napakahirap na magpatubo ng mga pananim ngunit mabuti na lamang kapag ganito ang panahon ay madalas siyang dumadalaw sa amin upang bigyan kami ng makakain na mga prutas at gulay. Tagtuyot na siguro ang pinakapaborito kong panahon sa lahat."

"Ito na siguro ang pinakamasaya kong araw sa lahat. Muling namahagi ng mga bulaklak ang mahal na prinsesa at tinanong niya ako kung ano ang aking paborito. Hindi ko hahayaan na mawala ang bulaklak na bigay niya sa akin. Babaunin ko ito hanggang sa pagtanda."

"Usap-usapan nagyon sa aming baryo na wala daw balak mag-asawa ang mahal naming prinsesa. Mabuti! Tingin ko kasi ay walang kahit na sinong bampira sa mundong ito ang babagay sa kaniya. Sobrang nakakabighani ang prinsesa at napakabuti pa, baka saktan lang siya o kaya pagsamantalahan."

I immediately rose up and sat as I read that paragraph. Ngunit pinulot ko muna ang tuyot na bulaklak na nasa akin na ngayong mga hita, ibinalik ko ito sa pagkakasingit sa notebook. Baka multuhin pa ako ng bata kapag nawala ko ang bulaklak.

Walang kahit na sinong bampira sa mundong ito ang babagay sa kaniya, am I an exception kasi hindi naman ako bampira? Damn Mino! Are you stupid? If a vampire is not worthy for her paano pa kaya kung isang tao lang na kagaya mo? Mas lalong hindi ka karapat-dapat.

Am I even worthy for her? I hurt many woman before, I left them, I toyed them and I even use them for selfish reasons but now I am asking if I am worthy enough for a princess? Why am I even fated to her? Hindi ako nababagay sa isang kagaya niya.

She is too high for me to reach. I bit my lower lip, gusto kong tawanan ang aking sarili. I used to hate and be disgusted by the idea of being fated to her but now, tila namomoblema ako kung paano ako magiging karapat-dapat para sa kaniya.

Shut the fuck up Mino! You're thinking too much about this thing! This is just nothing okay?

I slowly looked up to the sky and I saw the colors of twilight. Isa lang ang pumapasok sa isip ko ngayon, I need to see her, I need to talk to her, I need to man up! Isa pa kailangan ko pang iabot sa kaniya ang notebook na ito.

I stood up quickly then head my way to the castle. Bahagya akong napahinto dahil sa may nahulog na kapirasong papel sa notebook na hawak ko. I picked it up and I saw a sketch of the princess. I can't help but to admire the beauty of it.

Nakaharap ang prinsesa at iniipit ang takas na buhok sa kaniyang tenga habang may bulaklak doon na nakaipit. I bit my lower lip as I remembered how beautiful she was when I inserted a new flower behind her ears. She looks so captivating while twirling around as the flowers fall down into her. I don't know why, but that moment in my mind played slowmo.

Flowers and Vreihya have something in common, flowers are used to beautify a place but Vreihya is here to beautify this world. She is the wildest and the rarest flower that I've ever seen.

I will keep this drawing of her because it reminded me a lot about the times that I found myself just staring at her.

I just saw her standing on her room's veranda and looking intently to the village. I saw how she opened and closed her fist as if something is bothering her. Seriously? Is she doubting the things she did to help her people?

I walked quickly to approach her as the urge to eliminate her negative thinking enveloped my system. "You are doing great!" I said calmly ngunit bahagya siyang napatalon dahil sa gulat. Tumingin siya sa akin at pinandilatan ako ng mga mata. Okay? Why do I find that cute?

Ngunit nang nasa tabi na niya ako ay kapwa na kami tumingin sa bagong tahanan ng mga taga-baryo. God! I really love her scent. "I saw how you tried to place a smile on their face princess ngunit gusto ko lamang sabihin na somehow I feel that it is my fault too," I said and she looked at me surprised.

I knew that what I had stated was unusual but that is how burdened I am with guilt. "It burdens me to see them that way kaya ngayon pa lang nais kong sabihin sa'yo na I want to protect them too," I added ngunit nakita ko sa kaniyang mga mata ang pagtatanong.

I know that it is a lot to process but I just want to tell that idea to her para malaman niya na andito lamang ako para umalalay sa kaniya. This is all my fault! I didn't make myself strong enough for her people.

The silence is a little bit awkward kaya naman iniabot ko na sa kaniya ang isang bagay na gusto kong ibigay. "What's this?" nagtataka niyang tanong sa akin. "Kanina habang tinutulungan ko magbuhat ng gamit ang isang bata ay naiiyak niyang inabot sa akin ang notebook na iyan. Then she said that it was her deceased brother's notebook at ibinilin na iabot sa'yo sa kalagitnaan ng pag-atake ng ibang kaharian," pinilit ko na iwaksi ang lungkot sa tinig ko ngunit hindi ko maiwasan.

Hindi ko din alam kung bakit tila iba ang kwento ko sa kaniya dahil na din siguro sa kanina pa ako kinakabahan na nakalapit ako nang ganito sa kaniya. Heck? Kailan pa ako kinabahan? Hindi naman gamit ang binubuhat ko kanina nang nasa bahay ako ng bata, basket ng prutas 'yon Mino!

"I already read that and it makes me look at you at a very different perspective," damn! I want to punch my mouth right now. Nasa isip ko lang iyon kaya bakit bigla ko na lamang nasabi? I was supposed to keep that, not to blurt it out to her. Silly!

Haist! Okay fine! Wala naman sigurong masama kung aaminin ko ang totoo hindi ba? She deserves to know how my perspective of her had changed. She deserve the truth.

"I guess you are indeed kind after all," I said quickly and turned my back away from here, I walked quickly as I can feel the heat on my cheek. I feel so silly right now! Am I blushing?

Heck! What the hell is all of this!