Chapter Nineteen

Nakayukong umuwi si Zev mula sa Bezos IU mas pinili ng dalaga ang maglakad dahil hindi niya dala ang kotseng ibinigay sa kanya ni Reese noon.

She was clasping to her chest a bundle of books. Kahit saan pumunta ang dalaga ay palaging may dala siyang libro. Ang Libro na rin ang siyang nagiging sleeping pill niya kapag mailap sa kanya ang antok. Dati ang boses ni Reese ang sleeping pill niya. He was a great narrator because he can able to narrate their story in the song that he composed. Pero ngayon wala na ito para kantahan siya. Wala na ito para patulugin siya nito sa pamamagitan ng magandang boses nito. Ngayon Libro na lang lagi ang katabi niyang matulog sa malamig na gabi.

Even though Reese was no longer around she still feel his presence. His heart was on the book he wrote. Wala na nga ito sa tabi niya pero nakikita pa rin niya ang katauhan ng binata sa mga fictional characters nito.

She loved his fictional characters. Mga fictional characters na pinagseselosan noon ni Reese. Produkto 'yon ng imahinasyon ng binata pero pinagseselosan parin nito when she talked about them. He's very funny back then. Dahan dahan ang paglalakad ng dalaga, minsan ay huminto dahil sa mga isipang naglalaro sa kanyang utak.

It was a long way home, but Zev walked slowly, ayaw niyang umuwi ng apartment o magmamadali umuwi, at bakit naman siya magmamadali there was no reason to hurry. Nobody waited for her.

Ayaw niyang magmamadali dahil sigurado siyang lulunukin siya ng matinding lungkot kapag nag-iisa siya sa loob ng kaniyang silid. Nag-iisa? biglang tanong ng dalaga sa sarili at inilabas niya mula sa kanyang bag ang cellphone niya.

She looked in the streets where life crawled like ants. A queer sensation flows through her body, a feeling of having no feelings. For a few seconds, she decided to sit down on the chairs under Acacia in the streets way home.

These past few months she became alone, lonely amid the crowd, she was ill, ill of loneliness. Every night in her cheerless bed she fought the horrible monster of sadness and insomnia and she continue to fight. No matter how she fought, she always end up wounded. Poor Zev she was in pain. She never felt that pain before.

Her bitterness yesterday was like a decade of a great war. She has died in her fear, buried in an unknown grave, no wildflowers, only loneliness bruited in the sylvan dale. Her corpse decayed, like a cheery blossom in the ground that falls from its stem. Her bones were fragmented or broken into pieces tiny like sand in the seashore. Alas, the wind took away her happiness in the foreign land, far away.

Why does she always believe in cupid's words? So there she was crushed and her heart shattered. She can't imagine it. Where's the man who made a promise that he will never leave her alone. Nasaan ito ngayon, ngayong kailangan na kailangan niya ito.

She was very disappointed but she chose to believe na may personal reason ang binata, sa kabilang dako ay naintindihan niya ang buhay nito bilang isang CEO, all he wanted was to become responsible, at gusto nito iyon ipakita sa kanya. But some part of her mind contradicted her boyfriend's vision, all she want was Reese, she want him alone. She wants him right now at that very moment.

Pilit niyang kontrolin ang umiinit na sulok ng mga mata niya habang nagsisipat siya ng mga pictures nila ni Reese noong nasa Wuhan, China ang magkasintahan. She missed him-badly, at sa bawat pagtingin niya sa maamong mukha ng binata ay gusto na niyang sundan ito sa Madrid at sumbatin ito kung bakit hindi nito nag-paalam sa kanya ng personal noong umalis ito.

Ang ikakadurog niya kung bakit nitong tatlong buwang nakakalipas ay hindi man lang iniisip ni Reese na tawagan siya at kamustahin, nagduda na talaga siya.

Bakit kaya? bulong niya sa kanyang sarili habang nakatitig sa larawan ni Reese. He's very gentle sa larawan nito sa kanyang cellphone.

Maya maya ay kinausap niya ang larawan nitong 'yon. Miss na kita Mi Amor, uwi kana por favor. I was thirst of missing you. Your absence cut too deep and I'm scared. Hindi ko ito pinaghandaan, no I wasn't thinking of it before, bakit ngayon sa larawan mo na lang kita kakausapin. Iniisip mo rin ba ako nitong mga nagdaang buwan?

Napabuntong-hininga siya at tumingala sa itaas para kontrolin ang pagpatak ng luha niya. While me halos nababaliw ako sa kaiisip sayo, ikaw lang palagi ang naglalaro at tumatakbo sa aking isipan buong magdamag. Your image accompanies and animates all my thoughts.

Ngayon ay hinayaan na lamang ng dalaga ang pagdaloy ng mga luha niya. Bakit ba naman niya 'yon kokontrolin she was in pain, there was a dagger on her chest at kailangan niyang mailabas ang sakit na nasa dibdib niya sa pamamagitan ng pag-iyak.

She stared again, his eyes, his smiles reminding her of their tender and sweet moments, the moment that they hold each other hands. Now-Love, lies, miles and the distance, heart's became deserted.

Has Reese told her that she was the perfect fantasia for him? Bakit parang bumabalik tayo sa umpisa? RK do you think of me once in a while? Nakikita mo ba ang lungkot na nasa mga mata ko? Right at this very moment, I was assumed that you're here, wipe my tears away, and make me the happiest woman on earth as you've said. Lull my soul to sleep through the lyrics of a song you've composted for me. I want the soft lullaby from your lips. Right now RK I am wounded, possessed by the loneliness -Nothing, absolutely nothing, relieves my sorrow. Babalik ka pa ba? Huwag mo ako hayaang maghintay hanggang pumuti ang aking mga buhok. Ginoo ko ngunit kung iyon ang ating kapalaran, kung iyon ang kapalarang nakatadhana sa ating pagmamahal, maghihintay ako. Maghihintay ako na kasabay ng pagmasdan sa pulang langit tuwing dapithapon. Tiniyak ko sa iyo na ako ang unang magmulat ng mga mata bago ang pagbukang-liwayway. Kahit ilang dekada pa ang kailangang ipalipas, handa akong maghintay, kahit may uban na ang aking mga buhok ay hindi ko na iyon inalintana, sa iyong pagbabalik paglipas ng ilang dekada umaasa ako na isasayaw mo ako. You will hold my hands, isasayaw mo ako habang kinakantahan, isasayaw mo ako at sabayin natin ang ritmo ng ating puso. Aking hahanapin ang ningning sa iyong mga mata at ngiti sa iyong mga labi. Ginoo ko that's my most ardent desire before my corpse lowers on its resting place. Ibinaba niya ang cellphone at tahimik na humikbi.

"Zev I thought You're strong," ani ng isang pamilyar na boses sa kanyang likuran. It was Matt and his job was looking and take care of her. Hindi nito pweding pabayaan si Zev, because there's a possibility that she might hurt herself.

Aalagan siya nito through checking on her, at alamin kung okay siya. He know that she was not okay. Hindi naging madali para kay Zev ang naging sitwasyong hinaharap niya, that's why pinangako nito kay Reese na hindi nito pababayaan si Zev. He takes care of her para kay Reese.

Umiling siya at pinahid ang basang pisngi. She was scorched on her tears. It caused her mild pain. "Bakit hindi ko mahanap ang pangalan niya sa lahat ng social media platforms? Kahit may mga balita tungkol sa MMC, but the CEO never appeared on the news. May alam ka ba? Nahihirapan na ako sa mga negatibong isipan na tumutupok sa inosente kong pagkatao Matt," aniya sa garagal na boses.

"Wala akong ideya, Zev. Kaibigan ko nga siya pero hindi rin siya nag-paalam sa akin noong umalis siya." labag man sa kalooban nito na magsinungaling, pero wala itong magawa. He's a very trusted best friend at maasahan ito ni Reese. Hence, he will never open any thing, especially when he has already given his words. Tama na 'yon dahil 'yon naman talaga ang gusto nilang makita ni Reese, the two want her to be strong, gusto nilang maging matatag si Zev.

She's very weak at iyon ang paniniwala ni Reese kaya nag-alala ito noong mga huling linggo nito sa Pilipinas. Nag-alala na baka hindi kayang mabuhay si Zev sa sitwasyong wala ito sa tabi ng dalaga. But he made his decision to leave the country at tanging hiling ng binata ang makita itong maging matatag sa bawat hamon ng buhay, he wants Zev to be more alert in the face of life's unpredictable twist and turns. He wants her to be open in the unknown.