Chapter 5: Haruame's panic attack

[WARNING: I don't know how real panic attacks work And I doubt that I portrayed it correctly. It isn't all that descriptive So if it triggers anyone then I'm sorry.]

Masaomi was the first to notice Haruame, He called out to him and made asked if he was alright now. Although Haruame didn't answer him, He gave Masaomi a small smile as he made his way to his spot at the end of the couch. He glanced towards the tall ginger, who had noticed him when Masaomi called his name. 

" Hello there, Are you one of my brother's girlfriend? I'm Hikaru Asahina, Nice to meet you" 

The ginger smiled as they held their hand out to Haruame, who returned the handshake before he struggled to speak. 

The ginger noticed but didn't rush him, Which Haruame was thankful for. He always hated crying because he was always self-conscious of his voice after he cried. It made him sound pathetic and he had been told that many times by others around him. 

He calmed himself down, Took a few deep breaths before he felt like he could speak normally. " Its nice to meet you, I'm Haruame Hinata. I'm actually your new brother " Haruame properly introduced himself to Hikaru, Whose eyes slightly widened at the fact the girl before him was actually a boy. 

He felt a bit of joy, knowing that there was someone else that was like him in this house now. His smile widened and his eyes became sparkly as he hugged Haruame and nearly knocked him off the couch. 

Masaomi was surprised, He's only seen Hikaru hug Ema and Wataru. But This was the first time he has seen his younger brother hug anyone so enthusiastically before. He chuckled, though, when he noticed Haruame's slightly panicked expression. 

" Um . . . ? Huh? " That was all Haruame managed to get out before he started to feel sleepy and dizzy. He heard Hikaru say something to him but it was too muffled to make anything out, Haruame cursed himself in his mind. He forgot to take his pills, He thought he would be fine if he took a break from them since they made him feel really sick and he was fine, up until now. He hasn't taken the pills since about 2 weeks ago. This might be the worse he's had it before. His ears started ringing, His head was throbbing along with his heart, His eyesight was blurry, His body felt heavy and was shaking, He felt a bit out of breath and his eyelids felt heavy. He thought he heard Masaomi yell something and arms wrap around his body but he couldn't make anything out as he passed out. 

Then Everything went black. 

{Hikaru's POV}

I was surprised to learn that Haruame was like me, A male that dressed up as a female. It had been so long since I'd seen or met someone like me, So I got a bit excited and hugged him. I felt him tense up a bit as I looked up slightly to see his panicked expression. I found It cute, Probably a tiny bit cuter than Ema.  

Masaomi then told me that I should stop so I don't scare him away, I grumbled some incoherent words and Apologized to Haruame, who was silent. I was thinking that he was mad since I just suddenly hugged him but He didn't answer even when Masaomi called out to him. 

I gently shook Haruame, Trying to get some kind of reaction but I noticed that he was trembling, breathing quite heavily and was sweating. I had my suspicions on what was happening but I'd only seen it happen once or twice on Tv before So I couldn't be sure but I looked like he was having a panic attack. 

Masaomi also seemed to notice something was wrong and yelled his name, He quickly came over here when Haruame suddenly fainted. I held onto him and wrapped my arms around his back, He was still shaking and breathing heavily even when he was asleep. 

" What happened? Is he Okay? " Masaomi inquired as I asked him to take me to Haruame's room. He sighed, knowing I wouldn't answer his questions just yet, So he nodded and we went up to the elevator. On the way down to the fourth floor, I noticed how light and skinny Haruame was. I hoped he was eating well, He was probably around Louis's age yet he felt way lighter than he should be. 

Once we got to Haruame's room, I opened the door and saw Ema sitting on the floor cross legged. She looked she was waiting for Haruame. When she saw the door open, She jumped to her feet and called out Haruame's name, Saying that she wanted to talk to him. 

However When she saw me caring Haruame, Though, It looked her smile faltered(?) a bit before quickly running over to the three of us. I thought I was just imagining things since the Ema I know is a sweetheart that Just can't choose a brother sooner. 

" What happened to him? Is he alright? " Ema asked with concern, filling her voice as she moved out of the way for me. I give her a small smile, before setting Haruame down on his bed and covering him up with his light blue blanket. 

Haruame was still slightly pale, and his breathing hadn't returned to normal but he seemed to have calmed down a bit after feeling the familiar comfort of his bed. Once his symptoms went down considerably, I turned around and saw Ema talking to Masaomi about what happened. 

Since I was still unsure about what happened, I looked around Haruame's room for anything that could confirm my suspicions. And Guess what I found,  A pill bottle full of Selective Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), { A/N: SSRIs: Generally safe with a low risk of serious side effects, SSRI antidepressants are typically recommended as the first choice of medication to treat panic attacks. Site: https://www.mayoclinic.org}. 

I was right then, He was having a panic attack. Also, Seeing as how the bottle is full of pills, He must have not taken them in a while. That could be one reason why Haruame suddenly had a panic attack but I'll leave the questions for later. 

I held the pill bottle in my hand and turned to Ema, " Hey, Ema dear, Does your brother have a panic disorder? " I asked Ema, Who looked at me with confusion. So She didn't know then, Maybe he was hiding it from his family. 

" What are you talking about? I've never heard of Haruame having a Panic disorder before" Ema frowned as she walked closer to me, She saw the pill bottle in my hand and quickly snatched it from me. I was going to say something but She suddenly dropped the bottle and held her hand to her mouth with tears in her eyes. 

She seemed really shocked upset, I hugged her while I asked Masaomi to go get a cup of water. He understood what I meant by that, He also had some experience with this so he should know what to do. 

I cheered up Ema and told her that she should go help Ukyo with dinner, While he and Masaomi stayed here with Haruame. She glanced at her brother once more before she left the room. 

I turned back to Haruame, Who was sleeping soundly. I felt bad for waking him up but He should take his medication before something like this happens again. He slightly shook Haruame's shoulder, " Haruame, Its time to wake up now " I softly called him. 

Luckily, It didn't seem like he was a very deep sleeper so he woke up easily. I watched him with amusement as he slowly opened his eyes and rubbed them. He sat up and adjusted his glasses on his nose, He looked around his room before his eyes fell on the pill bottle on the table. 

" I guess you found out, Sorry. I didn't mean to show you this side of me, We just met too. Hahh, I knew that I should have taken some before I came here or at least on the plane. " Haruame groaned as he ran his hand through his hair, He looked frustrated and a tiny bit  . . . Scared? 

Oh, He must be worried that I would feel disgusted or something from his panic attack. I slightly smile and sit down on the side of his bed and gegin rubbing his head. He looked up at me with a slightly flushed face and slight panic in his eyes. 

I chuckled again, " You don't have to worry, I was just worried since you just collapsed like that. I'm glad you're fine now, But you probably should take some of your pills. I had Masaomi go downstairs and get you a glass of water for you " 

I see his eyes widen a tiny bit before he hides his face in his legs, He voice came out a bit muffled but I could still understand him, " Thanks". I smiled and had a sudden urge to hug him again but I'll leave that for later. I simply hummed and continued to play with hair, Which I soon found out was a wig. 

" Huh, This is a very good wig. It didn't slip off you at all this entire time. Where'd you get it? " I asked him with curiosity filling my whole voice, I think he quietly squeaked before he looked up a bit. 

" Um. . . . I made it myself a few years ago when I was 17 " Haruame admitted, I was honestly shocked. A 17 year old made such an amazing wig that feels like real hair, Is very sturdy and is almost like real hair. I probably wouldn't have been able to tell it was a wig if I wasn't accustomed to wig already.

" Its amazing, Haru. I'm accustomed to wigs, So I could tell the difference but If it was someone else then I doubt they'd be able to tell it was a wig. How'd you make it? " I asked with curiosity, basically pouring out my voice and sparkles in my eyes. 

" Um . . .  Its quite complicated and I've got quite the headache right now, So is it alright If I explain later? " Haruame softly asked me, I nodded with a smile plastered onto my face. I've finally got someone new to talk to about these things. 

I heard a soft knock on the door and saw Masaomi standing in the doorway with a cup of water. I nodded to him and gave Haruame the pill bottle as Masaomi handed him the cup of water. I watched him take 2 pills out and swallow the before chugging the water. 

He seemed to get sleepy again, So me and Masaomi said that one of us would get him when It was dinner time and that he could sleep for now. He slowly nodded with a small smile on his face as we left the room. 

I heard the small click of the door before me and Masaomi headed downstairs. I hope he gets better soon so I can talk more with him. 

[A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. I just couldn't figure out what to write for this chapter. I also don't think I Did very well with Hikaru's character but it's the best I can do. So I hoped you Enjoyed. There might be another chapter up later today or tomorrow]