[65.2] The Fire that Consumes

I turned to see Cyrus heaving heavily. I lowered my charred hands to avoid his gaze.

"Your mother said you left your room-"

"-Am I a prisoner?" I snapped at him, "Must I stay in that room? Am I not allowed to leave? Or is it that I need to tell you where I plan to go and ask for your permission first?"

His expression softened and he shook his head, "I didn't mean that. I merely meant-"

I scoffed, silencing him.

I stared back at the lake, ignoring him as he climbed the steps to stand beside me. I felt him pull my hand up, "Reika-"

I pulled my hand out from his in a panic, "STOP! Don't touch me!"

His expression darkened as his hand curled, "Sorry… I didn't mean to-"

Seeing his remorseful and defeated look, I felt a twinge of guilt.

What am I doing?

Why am I acting like this?

I turned away from him, "D-Don't misunderstand… It's just that you could get hurt. What if I lost control and burnt you to a crisp?"

Cyrus thought about it for a moment before answering, "Wouldn't you be burned with me because of that red string? I imagine the pain would bring you back to your senses."

I blinked at him silently and let out a sigh, "Just… Be careful around me."

Cyrus pinched his eyebrows together as he watched me under his dark eyelashes. He suddenly stood in front of me. I stared at him in confusion as he smiled back at me softly. He slowly extended his hand to me, "Reika. I'd like to show you something. Can I hold your hand to show you?"

My confused expression changed to a scowl, "Did you ignore what I just said?"

He shook his head, "I'm not ignoring what you said. I am just willing to take the risk."

"But my hands-"

"-They are your hands, Reika…" He glanced at them with a soft smile, "And regardless of how they look, I want to hold them as long as you are willing to let me."

I stared at his palm before letting out a sigh. I took his hand and stood up, "...Okay."

With my hand in his, his expression lightened up just like a puppy. I watched him silently as he led me over to the lake and towards a secluded spot. He pushed back the tall grass, revealing a small wooden boat.

"What do you think?"

I tilted my head, "Um… I think it's a boat?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "Not that. I mean, what do you think about taking a relaxing boat ride on the lake?"

I glanced at the lake, "...Why not."

He grinned ear to ear and eagerly helped me onto the boat. It rocked when I placed my weight on it, nearly knocking me over, but he was there to catch me so I wouldn't fall in.

After pushing off the shore, he silently rowed the boat by himself, neither of us saying anything. For a while, we just drifted along like that. After a while, I leaned over the side, staring down at the water's surface.

The lake was so deep, I could see my reflection on its dark blue surface. As I stared down, I felt resentment building in my chest.

Those dark eyes…

That black hair…

I hate it.

I tightened my fists and suddenly leaned over, putting my face fully underwater. I screamed with all my might, causing the surface to bubble angrily as if being boiled.

Anxious hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back out. I fell against a soft body, as the boat rocked wildly. Cyrus attempted to steady it without letting me go.

He pushed back the hair in his face while holding me against his chest with his free hand, "Ah… I thought you were going to fall in."

I stared at him silently, watching as the water drenching my hair slowly wet his clothes. I averted my gaze back to the calm surface of the lake, "...I wonder if that is how it feels to drown."

Cyrus immediately looked regretful, "Oh… I should have considered how you would feel before taking you out on the lake. I'm sorry… I just wanted to cheer you up by taking you on a boat ride… It seems to have the opposite effect."

As I watched his expression, I felt myself smiling slightly.

It seems he's the only one not treating me differently.

Even though-

My eyes trailed down to the neckline where I caught sight of something dark. I panicked and ripped open his shirt.

"Reika! Wait-"

The buttons dropped onto the floor of the boat, creating a hollow sound I felt in my soul.

My pupils shrunk, "Y-You…"

His curse mark, which had always been hideous, was now spreading rapidly, covering most of his chest and crawling up his neck.

I felt panic gripping my throat as I watched the curse throb, "It's-It's worse…"

Cyrus tried to cover it up. He averted his gaze with a bit of guilt, "Don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it?!"

-It's all your fault-

My eyes widened. "W-What did you just say?"

Cyrus stared at me in confusion, "I didn't say anything."

-It's all your fault-

My breathing quickened.

-It's all your fault-

I… I can't breathe!

-It's all your fault-

-It's all your fault-

-It's all your fault-

I CAN'T-

-It's all your fault-

*splash*

I was suddenly plunged into the water, the air escaping my lungs.

As I drifted down to the bottom of the lake, I could see the water bubbling above me. In my hazy vision, a streak of blonde flashed in my vision.

Hmm…

It looks just like silk…

Arms wrapped around me and pulled me ashore.

Cyrus and I both collapsed on the shore, coughing out water. Cyrus quickly checked me over, "Are you okay?"

My head felt fuzzy as I tried to recollect my thoughts, "What… What happened?"

"The boat capsized." Cyrus shook his head, "But that's not important as long as you're okay-"

I reached out for his hand instinctively. When I touched it, he winced and pulled his hand back. Surprised by his reaction, I looked at his hands.

My pupils trembled, "Y-You got burnt?!"

He quickly tried to hide it, "Reika-"

I pulled away and buried my head in my hands, "I-I-I did that?!"

"Reika! Don't blame yourself… It was just an accident." He wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me, "I can just find Felix to heal- Oh…"

He paused for a moment before whispering, "I… I forgot he's gone now…"

I bit down on my lip, trying to ignore the endless guilt and uncontrollable rage brewing inside of me.

-It's all your fault-

Why does this keep happening?!

-It's all your fault-

Why do I keep ruining everything!?

-It's all your fault-

"Reika… How long do you think Felix has been possessed for?"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT?!" I snapped at him as my hands trembled, "Do you not care that I just BURNT you!?"

"It was an accident and it wasn't severe-"

"Severe?!" Tears burst out of my eyes as my emotions rushed out like a geyser, "I killed my mother!! I burned her ALIVE!!! Don't you understand that?! I could do the same to you!"

"Reika-"

I jumped out of his grasp, "No! Don't touch me!!"

Please…

Please don't touch me…

I don't want to hurt you…

He pulled his hands back and watched me in understanding, "Alright… Alright. I won't touch you. Just take a deep breath."

I noticed smoke coming up from my hands and looked down instinctively. The charcoal-like skin covering my hands was now spreading past my wrists. I let out a shocked gasp and quickly hid my hands behind my back from my own gaze.

"Reika…" Cyrus's eyebrows pinched together, "Please… Just tell me how to help you. I will do anything-"

I let out a sob, "T-There's no helping me!! Don't you get that?!"

"Reika-"

"I-I just need to be alone!"

I spun around and sprinted away from him. I didn't dare turn back to look at him for fear I would see him making an expression I would regret giving him.

I ran and ran until finally…

I found myself standing before our tower at the Academy….

Only…

It didn't look like the tower I knew.

The entire structure had a large crack down the middle, shifting the foundation. The building looked like it would fall over at any time. It wasn't as if it was blasted, but like it had been aged by hundreds of years all in the course of one day.

I whispered to myself, "Please… Please don't tell me I did this too…"

My eyes lowered until they rested on the front door that was ajar.

I let out a whimper, "No…"

I forced myself to walk towards that door and slowly pushed it open. Inside, the place looked as if a tornado had gone through it. Everything was scattered on the ground, doors were hanging off the hinges, and the entire place barely looked how I remembered.

I sucked in my sobs and walked towards the staircase. I climbed the stairs, ignoring the creaking and moaning as each step buckled under my weight.

Finally, I made it to the top where I stepped around the large hole in the ground and toward my bedroom. I sat down on my mattress as dust blew up from around me.

I don't… I don't understand…

My gaze caught sight of a cat plush placed delicately on my pillow. I slowly reached out and pulled it toward me. I stared ahead and at the broken mirror on my vanity dresser.

"How… How did this happen…"

In the reflection, orange eyes appeared from the shadows. He answered my question, "You buried your emotions for too long and it finally became too much."

My jaw tightened as I glared at his orange eyes, "You… You did this to me."

"I wouldn't say that…" He answered nonchalantly, "I only sped it along. I didn't do anything. You did."

"Take it back." I snapped at him, "Take all of this back! Return me back to who I was!"

"I can't do that."

"Can't!? Or won't!?"

"Both. I can't and I won't."

I let out a scream and threw the stuffed animal at the mirror, knocking it over. It broke into several pieces, scattering the shards onto the ground. I sucked in my breath in an attempt to hide my tears, "Then why are you here!? Do you just want to gloat?!"

"Gloat? I didn't get what I wanted either. There's nothing to gloat about."

"Then why are you here!?"

His tone was almost mocking, "Don't get upset… Did you forget how dangerous you are when you're upset? You could really hurt someone."

My expression turned harsh, "Then get lost."

He was silent for a moment, then he spoke slowly, "Unfortunately, once I'm inside, I can't leave."

"Unfortunately…" I snickered, "Just who is that unfortunate for?"

The orange eyes faded away from the shadows, leaving me all alone in the decrepit room.

I walked over to the shards and bent over to pick the stuffed animal up. I held it to my chest and let out a deep breath.

Well…

He was right about one thing.

I'm a danger to everyone.