Ch 7 returning to Hogwarts

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Lily couldn't help but smile as she came downstairs for breakfast, quickly paying off the post-owls and thanking the ones sent by her friends before sitting down, lost in contentment at how last night had gone. Although she honestly would have preferred it if Severus had 'broken up with' those awful, Death-Eater-happy friends of his completely...she was alright with him being friends with them, as long as he didn't act like them.

For example, he couldn't call people 'Mudblood' (although come to think of it, she hadn't heard him say the word in a while) or hex people and use Dark Magic on them for the fun of it (she did not like bullies, no matter how handsome Potter was). If he didn't do stuff like that, then she could handle him hanging around with them, even if people like Avery and Mulciber gave her the creeps. Well, maybe he'd eventually wise up about them...maybe.

Breakfast at the Evans family home during the holidays was always a bright and cheerful affair, unless your name was Petunia, of course. Mum would prepare eggs while dad made rashers-a deliciously greasy, fatty stuff that Lily would never recommend to anyone trying to diet-and they would all talk to each other throughout the meal, with even Petunia sparing a few kind words for her sister. If she ever had a family, Lily wanted it to be like her own.

Suddenly, she heard the sounds of quiet knocking; Severus was at the door. Not wanting to get up, she called to him, "Come right in, Sev, the door's open!"

As he opened the door with his usual silence, Lily felt a sense of relief as she watched Severus slip into the kitchen, giving a characteristicly tentative wave. She couldn't help but to smile at this; while much had changed in the past several years, it was good to see that he hadn't changed half as much as he had seemed to at school... 'Maybe it was just because of those sodding friends of his...or perhaps the ruddy Death Eaters... Either way, I hope this lasts.'

However, Marigold frowned as she held the bowl of scrambled eggs, halted in mid-motion as she had been about to spoon some onto Lily's plate. Giving a quick look to her husband, who was frowning as well, she forced a smile and asked pleasantly, "Why, Severus, it's...good to see you again. How have you been?"

Severus gave Lily a strange look before turning and replying guardedly, "Uh...I've been alright I suppose, Mrs. Evans. I did well on my O.W.L.s..." He seemed about to say more, but instead trailed off, questioning eyes jumping from Marigold to Richard and back again.

Marigold nodded, serving up the eggs onto Lily's plate, then Severus', before returning to her seat. Lily was surprised at this, as her mother normally asked Severus a lot more questions, such as how things were going at his home ("They're...alright, I suppose."), whether he had been eating well ("Mmhmm...") or what he planned to do when he got back to school ("I'll think about it."). Although Marigold's response to his answers was rarely more than a perfunctory nod, it had become almost a tradition for when Severus came over.

It seemed that Severus hadn't missed the lack of questioning either, as his eyes roved around slowly before finally returning to his plate in front of him. Slowly, he started to dig into his eggs, eating each bite swiftly, as if eating food were merely a necessary task that he needed to complete. His brow furrowed, and he flinched as her father dropped his knife with a muffled clang, reminding her of some small, scared animal readying itself to bolt for cover.

Hoping to pierce the dark cloud that had somehow fallen upon the table around them, Lily forced a smile and asked Severus with a nudge on the shoulder-a gesture that she usually avoided, as it seemed to scare him for some reason, "So, Sev, get any letters this morning? Mary sent me one, and so did Lupin. Anything good on your end?"

Severus gave one last look around the table, before returning his attention to her as he said slowly, "Lily..." His voice caught slightly as he said her name. "...I received a letter from Mulciber and...nevermind."

"Hmm?"

He shook his head, shrugging uncaringly. "It's nothing, just a letter from someone I don't particularly care for. I've got to respond to it though... Politeness and all."

Lily nodded, offering her best friend a smile, which he returned with a...well, a not-frown at least. Frankly, if Severus smiled a true, full-bodied smile, Lily would probably die in shock. Changing the subject, she asked, pointing a finger vaguely outside, "Want to go out and have some fun, Severus?"

He shrugged, but returned his attention to Lily's parents, saying distantly, "Thanks for the meal..."

As they left, Lily couldn't help but feel a sense of relief, as if the two of them had left a prison rather than a home...

The Holidays passed swiftly, much to Lily's disappointment; she had hoped to use the time available to spend more time with Severus, but her parents had been insistent that she spend Christmas with only family that year. It had saddened her greatly, but Severus had told her not to worry about it, hurt clearly festering in his eyes as he said, "It's nothing; have fun with your family..."

Afterward though, she had made sure that she spent every moment she could with him, as it wouldn't last when they got back to school. After all, she had her friends and he had his, and they didn't mix. He thought her friends looked down on him (which, to be quite honest, they did) and she knew that his friends were evil (which they were). Sure, she would try to spend time with him and he would do the same for her, but it was so little time in comparison to the summer months, barely a few hours every couple of days.

Lily hated it very much, but there was nothing that could be done...unless either Severus or her friends were willing to change.

In the meantime though, she had bags to bring in, as her mother had just gotten back from the grocery. Luckily, she had access to Severus' help as he had volunteered to assist her. As she grabbed as many bags as she could handle in one load, Lily started walking back inside, her thoughts focusing on how she wished that Severus and her friends might somehow get along...

'Maybe now that he's definitely not going to be a Death Eater, they might give him a chance. Unless he blows it by being a prat, of course. I'll have to warn him to be on his best behavior.'

However, Lily was distracted from her thoughts when she realized that one of the bags in her left hand was just a smidge out of position. It was rather uncomfortable for the girl, as the strap of the bag was digging itself into her shoulder.

Adjusting herself as she made her way to the front door, Lily quickly realized that she had accidentally overbalanced, and now the bags perched on her right arm were throwing her out of alignment. Swearing mentally, she tried to fix this, but she just couldn't quite reach. Knowing that she was about to have a spill if she did nothing, Lily looked around frantically for somewhere to set some of the bags down without having to bend over, which would have caused her to crash then and there.

Spying the metal chair on the porch outside the front door, Lily tried the best she could to hold everything together while she shuffled over, praying she could keep everything balanced long enough to reach the chair and set everything down.

However, it became obvious soon enough that she wouldn't make it, and would probably spill everything in trying...when suddenly, Severus took a couple of bags off of her left arm and strode to the door, holding it open without a word.

Lily him a quick grin and "Thanks, Sev!", to which he didn't respond, only nodding perfunctorily and following her inside without a word. Returning to the couch, where the two of them had been studying for the past several hours, Lily continued their conversation where it had left out before they went to get groceries from the car.

"So, Sev, what did Mulciber" (Lily spoke the name in utter distaste) "have to say in his letter? Any plans for something special?"

"Hmm..." Severus seemed to ponder, before finally replying, "He wanted to know if I could pass the time with him when we get back to Hogwarts; he has some Arithmancy homework due though, so it might be an issue, but why..." As Severus spoke, Lily's mother walked into the family room, and Severus stopped in mid-speech. After several seconds, he continued in a voice that cracked ever so slightly, "...why do you ask, Lily?"

Lily frowned at his strange behavior, but covered it up with a simple shrug, although she feared the worry in her voice gave away how important the coming topic was to her. "Actually, I was wondering if you'd be alright with spending the day with Sabrina and I when we get back. I know you don't like her...but maybe if you give her one more chance, it'll be worth it. Please, Severus, as my friend could you please do this?"

He didn't look at her, his eyes boring a hole in the threadbare couch beneath him, but in the end he said dully, "Very well, Lily, I'll 'try'..."

Although she could tell that Severus was less than enthusiastic...Lily still smiled; it was a start. Still, she asked curiously, "And what's up with my mum you think? She's been really odd lately."

For a moment, Severus stilled, but then he replied in an almost pleading tone, "We won't have much time this holiday; could we please not talk about our parents?"

Lily frowned, before shrugging. "I suppose that's alright, Sev..."

The last few days of the holidays continued much in the same vein as that one, with Severus coming over to the Evans' house to hang out pretty much from morning till dusk. Lily enjoyed this, but Severus seemed rather taciturn, even considering that their friendship was so recently patched up.

Soon enough though, they returned to Hogwarts, whereupon events continued in a fashion that was much closer to what Lily expected instead of what she hoped. She and Severus ended up spending much less time with each other, maybe four or five hours every couple of days, and only one or two of those outside of class. It was times like this that Lily wished that she and Severus traveled in the same social circles; it would make things so much easier.

Although Severus made a point to be...well, not friendly, but at least not mean...and though he began to spare a nod for Mary, Sabrina and Lily's other friends when he encountered them in the hallways, her friends didn't seem to notice. Or if they had noticed, they hadn't cared, something which was made very clear a couple of weeks in.

Then Potter and Severus apparently had a fight, although neither party was willing to talk about it; if it weren't for some of the bystanders mentioning it to her, Lily might never have known. Severus had always been reluctant to mention anything having to do with the Marauders, but Potter not bragging about it was new.

The only reaction to this from Sabrina and Mary had been "I hope that Potter wasn't hurt by that slimeball." and "Shame it couldn't have happened to Mulciber too..." respectively. Neither seemed willing to take the first step, albeit for different reasons: Sabrina was firmly on the side of the Marauders when it came to Severus, while Mary's hatred of Mulciber was legendary and anyone associated with him could justifiably drop dead, in her opinion.

For that, Lily could hardly blame Mary-he had humiliated her the year prior-but it was still quite a shame.

Even though the Death Eaters were no longer making things impossible for her and Severus, the other problems were still there. This was made obvious by the fact that when she had told her friends that Severus had no intention of being a Death Eater anymore, their reactions had been lukewarm at best. 'Of course, Severus could make a bigger effort too...but he already did something really big when he was willing to throw everything away for our friendship. I don't want to ask too much of him...'

Still, she was rather cheered up when she received a letter from Perseus. Sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, ignoring the chatter of the Marauders' fans as they asked them to do something, she began to read:

Medusa,

I find it odd that you are so willing to compromise with someone who clearly won't do so with you when you are apparently INCAPABLE of considering the Dark Arts for more than merely spells of cruelty and torture. Although most of the spells that would fit that description are indeed Dark Magic, such as the Unforgivables, there are also Dark Spells and Arts that could be very easily used for the benefit of others...if you are so inclined, that is.

I must admit, I find you incredibly perplexing. Why are you so willing to keep trying for someone who doesn't deserve it when your ideals are apparently unbending paragons of unthinking self-righteousness? Argh, you really are an annoying chit.

For your sake, I hope he doesn't laugh at you, and that your attempts do work. Regardless, consider carefully what I am about to tell you, Ms. Stick-Up-Her-Butt.

"The Dark Arts are known as such because they fall under two major categories: spells/artifacts based on dark emotions (hatred, anger, fear and what have you) and spells/artifacts designed expressly for the harm of other (non-Dark) beings. Although many things of Dark nature fall under both categories, not all do (Pg. 12, SoM)...

Many so-called Light wizards, such as Albus Dumbledore, Corus Crouch and even Godric Gryffindor himself have made a study of the Dark Arts, as even if one has no wish to use them, understanding how they work and how to counter them is considered of great importance to many (Pg. 52, SoM)..."

*SoM refers to Shadows of Magic (1947) by Charlus Potter, one of the great Aurors of our times.

So you see? Even some of the greatest and brightest of wizards and witches believe that the Dark Arts are worthy of study, not solely scorn. I suggest giving Shadows of Magic a readthrough before simply dismissing the Dark Arts and Dark Magic as evil and vile.

On an off-topic, how would you suggest that I get a friend to stop talking about something that really bothers me. I really don't want to talk about it to them (or you), as it would probably worry them unnecessarily and it's not really worth the trouble to talk about it, but I dislike them bringing it up. You see, I want to have them stop talking about it without me having to explain why.

Any suggestions, annoying chit?

If it makes you feel better, if my friend doesn't stop talking about this, I will probably have a mild nervous breakdown, so consider it a public service (I know you'll just love that idea, won't you?).

Out of curiosity, how has the situation with 'Fred' been going? You didn't mention him in your last letter, and I'm rather curious to know what, if anything he has done since then. After all, if he's the thoughtless, insensitive bully you describe, it should be quite entertaining.

Sincerely,

Perseus

Lily frowned as she finished Perseus' letter, glad that the noise-level had diminshed. While she did feel a touch of concern about whatever it was the boy felt he had to hide, she didn't much appreciate much of the other contents of the message-although she did mentally file away the fact one of Potter's recent ancestors had apparently written a book advocating the study of Dark Magic.

She certainly didn't appreciate being called a Ms...that! Lily did not have any objects stuck in her posterior, and she hated how everyone, everyone, seemed to think she did just because she followed the rules.

Oh, Lily certainly enjoyed a bit of fun or a good prank as much as the next girl; it was just that the 'pranks' that the Marauders and their imitators pulled were more along the lines of senseless cruelty!

'Although, apart from Severus at least, Potter doesn't seem to have done anything particularly foul this term...' admitted Lily to herself, her frown deepening as she recalled that the Marauders had generally shaped up and could do an alright job lately of being normal students. '...although making my knickers an object of speculation is not something I appreciate!'

"Hey, Potter's back, and he brought food!" Shouts came from the door, where some of the Gryffindor boys had stationed themselves. Lily ignored them until she suddenly heard one of them shout, "And...ooh! It looks like he brought something else, Firewhiskey!"

Lily's eyes widened as she heard this; even if they had been old enough to drink the stuff, which the majority of those in the Common Room weren't, it was against the rules to bring any alcoholic beverages into Gryffindor Tower-although Butterbeers were tolerated sometimes, provided that no-one was caught. Firewhiskey though... "Hold it right there, Potter!" shouted the furious redhead, her prefect's badge gleaming on her chest.

"Why, Evans, here to join the party?" said Potter, a toothy grin on his lamentably-handsome face. "I brought plenty of food and Firewhiskey for the celebrations. Sirius is going to have a great deal of time celebrating his new home; he's been invited to stay at my place until he graduates, so let's give a cheer for Sirius!" The last he shouted loudly enough for all of Gryffindor tower to hear, and they responded exuberantly.

"Go Sirius!"

"Yeah! I heard Potter's place is incredible!"

"I'll even throw you a little...personal good-bye party, Sirius..."

Rolling her eyes as Sabrina not-too-subtly propositioned the other Gryffindor boy, Lily then gave Potter a stern look before saying coolly, "You know as well as I do what the rules are, Potter. No Firewhiskey, period! Show's over, people. If you want to celebrate, throw out the alcohol!"

At this, a storm of booing met her ears, but Lily stayed firm. She didn't like having to lay down the law, but rules were rules...weren't they?

However, James then put a hand on her shoulder and muttered in her ear, "Come on, Evans, just this once. I mean, the reason he's staying at our house is because his parents disowned him. Can't we let the rules slide this one time?"

Lily frowned, even as the other Gryffindors continued their catcalls and jeers, refusing to budge. However, Potter then whispered, "Please, Evans? It's just this once...and you really could do to loosen up a bit. Don't want to be a stick in the mud, do you?"

"...Ms. Stick-Up-Her-Butt."

With a final glare, Lily caved, mainly to prove Perseus and Potter wrong. "Alright, but just this once, ok! And if any of you lot get hangovers, it's your own bloody fault!" Grabbing a Firewhiskey, she shouted, "Here's to Black, even if he's a right prat!"

"Hear, hear!" shouted the crowd, as she took a giant swig of the drink, feeling it burn all the way down. For once, she would be just like everybody else...

But that was only the first mistake she would regret in the morning.

Kissing James Potter was the second.