Chapter 11: Big Bear ll

Yeah, I recognized the look in Eden's eyes, but just because she didn't want to take no for an answer didn't mean -I- had to give her what she wanted. After all, disappointment is a part of life, and learning to temper your expectations to that which is actually feasible is a part of growing up. So despite my baby sister's pure lust for me, I resolved not to give her what she wanted.

Thing is, the longer the night went on, the more my resolve seemed to crumble.

At first, I was able to deflect some of the attention by keeping my focus on the older girls. The easiest way of removing temptation was to stick my cock somewhere the twins couldn't get to it, so once Eden got me hard I got up, went out into the living room, and found DJ in a 69 with Brooke on the shag rug in front of the fireplace. I then rammed myself nearly eight inches up my fiancée's twat, thus safely ensconcing my member out of Eden's reach, and the next ten minutes or so were spent switching back and forth between DJ's pussy and Brooke's mouth.

I let my little sister suck her best friend's juices off my dick, until DJ couldn't handle any more orgasms and rolled away while Brooke crooked a finger to me and spread her legs in open invitation. I circled around, bent to kiss the horny brunette, and then slid myself home.

From this reversed vantage point, I had a point-blank view of the couch. Adrienne was seated on it buck naked, with a twin eagerly exploring her lush body from either side. Emma had her tongue down Adrienne's throat and one hand on the older girl's left breast. Eden had Adrienne's right breast in her mouth while her hand pumped two fingers in and out of the blonde's honey pot.

Watching them, I couldn't help but remember Adrienne's old phobias about getting involved with younger girls. She wouldn't even have sex with anyone a grade below her because of it, male or female. But with time and therapy she'd gotten past her hang-ups, and now even the five-and-a-half-year age gap between her and the twins apparently didn't bother her in the slightest.

So why did it bother me?

Or did it really?

After all, I certainly had no qualms about busting a nut down Emma's throat just minutes ago, or Eden's oral efforts immediately following. I already knew I wouldn't mind going down on either girl, giving them that form of pleasure in a way that certainly would be frowned upon in polite society, not only for the incest factor but also for our ages. And if I was willing to go that far, why not a little farther?

Last year, my reasons for rejecting them had a lot to do with their virginities, but it had more to do with the idea of introducing them to intercourse. I was worried that if I started the twins off with the Big Ben Experience, they would never be able to match it once I was gone and they would spend the rest of their high school lives futilely trying to recapture that kind of bliss. Cocky pride that sex with me would ruin them? Well, yeah. But I also had some unbiased evidence to back it up, and the same thing more or less had happened to Brooke. Even today, despite having a boyfriend, she still came to me for the super-shagging she couldn't find anywhere else.

That was less of an issue now. The girls were high school juniors, and had a full year to have sex with other people. It was no longer quite the exciting mystery it once was, and their expectations had to have been tempered. Yeah, sex with me might still blow their minds, but at least I wouldn't be their FIRST. Having gone through their own experiences, they'd understand that not ALL sex would be like it was with me, and would be able to return to ordinary high school boys without unrealistic hopes for their capabilities.

Also, the "baby sister" rationale was losing steam. I was fucking Brooke right at this moment, and SHE was my little sister. As for the "baby" part, as I watched Eden and Emma climbing all over Adrienne's body, I realized that I simply couldn't see them in that way anymore. An inch taller than Brooke, and sporting the same bra sizes, they were fully-formed women now. Their bodies were ready for adult sex, and there was no way to look at them and deny it.

And if I had to admit it to myself, I WANTED to fuck them.

I wanted to bend those slender-yet-stacked bodies in half and fucking POUND them. I wanted to see their pretty eyes roll up into their heads as they screamed from pleasure overload while cumming on MY cock. The twins were gorgeous, and undeniably fuckable, and I WANTED to be the one fucking them, not some pimply-faced dweeb.

"Ho. Ly. SHIT!" Brooke squeaked beneath me, and HER eyes rolled up into her head while I shook her entire body like a rag doll. I hadn't even realized how hard I'd started fucking her, my mind drifting away to fantasies of having one twin or the other beneath me. Her cries and whimpers drew me back to the real world for a moment, but with my illicit thoughts of stretching a 16-year-old twin farther than she'd ever been stretched before, I couldn't help but keep up the pace I had begun and let Eden's face cover Brooke's similar features for only a moment.

"Cum in me..." Brooke/Eden moaned, and that's all it took. Still fantasizing that I would be sperming my baby sister, my balls contracted and with a bellow I fired both cannons deep within her recesses. My hips went into overdrive, grinding my pelvic bone down on her clit and maximizing her orgasm. And when our mutual climaxes finished, I collapsed on top of her feeling more deeply satisfied than I had recent memory.

But then Brooke broke the fantasy by giggling and saying, "THAT was quite the ride, big brother. What's gotten into you?"

"You just felt so good," I told her, while fighting down my disappointment that I HADN'T just spermed a baby twin. And then I looked up, my eyes meeting Eden's, and I saw the exact same disappointment on her face as well.

You both want it. Why not DO it?

At least that's what the sexual creature inside me argued.

[[You can't. You promised yourself, and you promised Mom.]]

That promise to Mom ended last year.

[[Did it?]]

Mom knows it's gonna happen sooner or later. Why not 'sooner'?

My conscience and my hormones continued their little argument. In the meantime, my body apparently continued having sex on autopilot. I didn't need to call up user manuals with these girls; I knew my way around their bodies by heart. DJ did the honors of reviving me for a third round, and Adrienne was calling for her turn. Spinning around, the busty blonde knelt on the couch cushions and braced herself against the backrest. And with both hands on her bodacious breasts, I got a firm grip and slammed my way in.

After Adrienne got an orgasm, DJ and then Brooke parked themselves right next to her in the same position. I switched over to DJ, and after a minute or two switched over to Brooke. And that's when I realized that Eden had set herself up in the same position next to Brooke while Emma took the empty space on Adrienne's far side.

It was tempting. This far gone into the orgy, it was super tempting. I had five beautiful babes lined up in a row for my pleasure, and I really WANTED to go up and down that row. I was drunk and horny and my rational brain wasn't quite keeping up with me, but despite the near-complete erosion of my resolve, my conscience was hanging on by a thread. Sighing, I shook my head in the negative, and before the twins could really protest, Adrienne backed out of position and ruined the five-ass visual.

"Be right back," she called as she darted into the room she shared with Brooke. In the meantime, I switched over to DJ, focusing my sexual energies on the glorious fuckability of my fiancée. And moments later, Adrienne re-emerged wearing a familiar device.

"You girls stay right there," the blonde ordered. "You wanna get fucked? You're gonna get FUCKED."

You might think that Adrienne going to town pounding Eden and Emma doggy-style might have resolved my dilemma. The twins got to feel their pussies get stretched, and since they were occupied, I was off the hook and free to keep banging Brooke and DJ. But the thing is, watching the twins get pounded only made me HORNIER ... and it made ME want to be the one doing the pounding.

I had to tear myself away from the scene, and grabbing Brooke and DJ by the hands I dragged them both into my bedroom. I flopped onto my back, pulling DJ up to my face so I could smother myself in legal-aged pussy, and I felt Brooke take my cock into her mouth for her special kind of oral worship.

But right around the time DJ clamped her thighs around my ears and screamed her orgasm, I felt Brooke's mouth leave me and a different mouth take its place. The dick knew instantly that it wasn't Adrienne giving me a blowjob, and so process of elimination let me know that at least one of the twins had joined us in the bedroom. And when minutes later that mouth left me, replaced by a tight pussy sinking down around my shaft, I felt my heartbeat race up to the breaking point as adrenaline coursed through my veins.

My mind was so clouded with the possibilities that I couldn't possibly attempt a guess at my coital partner's identity. Could it be Brooke? Could it be Adrienne? Or could it be one of the girls that I shouldn't be doing this with. My mind was playing tricks on me, giving me information about the tightness and wetness and weight of the girl that all conflicted in such a way that I couldn't tell what was real sensation, what was figment of my fantasy imagination, and what was wishful thinking on the part of my conscience. I desperately wanted to believe that a twin hadn't just mounted me, and yet also desperately wanted to believe one HAD. It wouldn't be my fault in this position. I couldn't see, and couldn't resist. -I- hadn't initiated this sex act, and so I should be absolved of all guilt and responsibility, right?

At first, I simply let her fuck me. I closed my eyes and willfully ignored her identity, focusing on getting DJ off to one more orgasm. My hips bucked upward, giving both myself and my partner the extra stimulation, but otherwise I let her do her thing and concentrated on doing my own.

But then DJ squealed in another climax, and she rolled off me. The impediment blocking my vision was gone, but I kept my eyes closed, not yet ready to face reality, for better or worse.

And then reality came to me.

Someone was kissing me – well, half-kissing and half-licking the girlcum on my face. Teenaged giggles lit up in my ear, and I opened my eyes to see Eden grinning at me before giving me another kiss.

For a second, I felt both panic and elation as I felt the pussy still humping up and down my cock, but then I realized that Eden's face wasn't moving in sync with the sensation, and moreover, the angle was all off. Eden was leaning over the bed BESIDE me, which meant...

My eyes drifted upward, and I let out a sigh to see my fucker's identity. Brooke ... NOT Emma ... rode up and down my cock. And I exhaled in both relief and disappointment.

"You didn't?" I gasped at Eden, gesturing with my eyes toward her big sister bouncing happily on my dong.

Eden frowned. "Mounting you unawares while you couldn't even see? We thought about that when we were thirteen, remember? Ana Ramirez? I can't think of another time I saw you SO pissed off at having sex. No ... I wouldn't do that to you."

I exhaled again in relief, setting my head back down on the mattress. And in the meantime, Brooke used my cock to get herself off to one more orgasm.

"But now? Now you can see. Now you're aware. And we both know that we BOTH want this." Sliding herself onto the bed, Eden cuddled herself up next to me. Brooke dismounted my prick, which was still red and throbbing and desperate for its next ejaculation. And when Eden hugged her naked body against mine and then rolled herself backward, pulling me up onto one elbow so that I loomed over her lush tits, I found that my cockhead was aiming of its own accord at her pretty pink pussy.

"The last time Brooke mounted you and you worried that it might be me, you freaked out," Eden cooed happily. "But this time, you simply kept fucking her. Thrust harder, even."

With that, Eden grabbed my hips and pulled me over her. I didn't resist – couldn't resist. I couldn't respond except to breathe, painfully aware of the way my mushroom head had notched itself at her entrance and ever-so-slightly parted her labia with just a little bit of pressure.

"It's time, big brother. It's time," Eden breathed. She was right; I wanted her. And all Brooke or DJ did was slide out of the way, giving me and my baby sister this moment. Emma and then Adrienne appeared in the doorway, both of them with curious smiles on their faces.

This was it. Eden's legs spread around mine, her heels hooking behind my calves. My chest was on top of hers, feeling her diamond-hard nipples etching against my pectorals. My cockhead pushed down into her folds, opening her up, and with a smile, Eden reached up and kissed me. And then I prepared for the lunge that would finally erase all lingering doubts and push me into her body.

And then a phone rang.

It wasn't mine; I didn't recognize the tone. But the sound was jarring enough to stop my forward movement with my head opening her pussy but not yet past the threshold. Eden broke our kiss and turned to look in the direction of the sound, and the musical jingle continued from somewhere over by my suitcase.

DJ gasped and covered her mouth. Her action drew my attention, and she gave me a pained look, "I'm sorry," she said. "That's my phone, and I recognize the special ringtone."

"Who is it?"

DJ sighed. "It's Dawn."

The anxiety on my face was evident, and though Eden could have tugged me into her body with the flex of her legs or a solid yank from her hands currently palming my ass, she didn't. Neither of us wanted the first coupling between us to be anything but just right, and that wasn't going to happen right now. The moment had been broken, and with a sigh, Eden pushed on my hips so that my cock became dislodged and I rolled off of her.

But DJ was already off the bed and going for her phone, muttering, "I'm sorry. I should have turned it off or something. Lemme just shut the thing up and you two can go back--"

"No, no. It's okay," I interrupted, sitting up on the edge of the bed and wondering why Dawn would call right now. It was 10pm on New Year's Eve. She could be calling simply to wish us all a Happy New Year, but somehow I knew the explanation wouldn't be so simple. She hadn't contacted any of us since disappearing back up to Morris Camp, and somehow we all knew this wasn't a social call.

DJ held the phone aloft, gesturing it toward me. "Do you want to talk to her?"

I frowned, shaking my head. "She's not calling ME. She's calling YOU."

DJ paled, and then turned to stare at the screen. A moment later, the phone went silent and the lights shut off, and DJ sighed in obvious relief. Maybe later she would listen to the voicemail and decide then how to feel or react.

But DJ wasn't given that choice. Fifteen seconds later, the phone started ringing again with the same special tone DJ had assigned for her sister. And this time, with a stricken face DJ looked over at me and then opened up the clamshell. "H- Hello?"

A burst of noise at high volume forced DJ to immediately recoil from her cell phone, and it took me a second to realize the noise was the sound of someone's voice. Holding the phone a couple of feet away, DJ thumbed the volume control, taking the noise level down a couple of notches. Only then did she put the phone back to her ear and start trying to get a word in edgewise. "Dawn? Dawn! Chill out! ... Are you drunk?"

The burst of noise shot back again, even with the reduced volume control. DJ again had to pull the phone away from her head, and tiredly she turned around and sat back down on the bed.

The remotest sexual mood was gone. I'd never gotten that third ejaculation, but my prick was deflating and given the situation, it wouldn't be coming back up anytime soon. Eden pouted briefly, but then sighed and got up. She pecked my cheek and then slid off the bed, heading back out into the living room. Meanwhile, Brooke went over to DJ's suitcase, pulling out her friend's pajama top and tossing it to her. It wasn't that DJ was ashamed of her nudity among us, but this just wasn't the time to be naked.

For a minute or two, DJ simply held the pajama top to her chest, more or less covering herself without completely covering herself. Her head was bowed and her eyes closed, and after a while she started thumbing the volume control back up as Dawn's voice apparently came down to normal levels. But despite the reduced volume, there was no doubt that Dawn's words were upsetting DJ as my fiancée's face fell and contorted into a pained grimace. Several times, she tried to interrupt, saying, "Dawn..." A couple of times, she seemed to be defending herself, saying, "I didn't mean--", "It wasn't like that--", and "Of course I never meant--".

But none of those phrases was ever finished, and when DJ's shoulders began to slump, a now-dressed Brooke moved forward and enveloped her best friend in a hug. I looked up to see that Adrienne had also retrieved a pajama top and was settling onto the bed beside me, her hand on my thigh. And all three of us watched DJ continue to wilt beneath whatever verbal onslaught Dawn was dishing out.

At last, I couldn't take it anymore. Reaching forward, I took hold of DJ's cell phone, and she didn't resist when I plucked it away. DJ's eyes were rimmed red, with tears rolling down her cheeks as she turned to look at me, but she merely watched as I thumbed the handset over to speakerphone and then set it down on the bed between all of us.

"I will hate you for all eternity. Shhhuck on THAT. Remember THAT! Every timesh you looksh into hish eyesh, you'll alwaysh have to remembersh how much I hate you. Ssho you're gonna have to livesh with that, bitch," Dawn was slurring, her voice that of a clearly inebriated woman. Still, I took only a moment to get past her lisps and filter out the extra syllables.

"Ruined the family," she continued over the speakerphone. "We'll never be whole again you know. Every family dinner, you're gonna have to look at that empty seat and remember that you're the reason why I'm not there."

"If you're not at those dinners," I interrupted. "It's because you're choosing not to be, Dawn. Don't put this on DJ."

"Ben?" Dawn burped in surprise. "Don't defend her bullshit. This is HER fault. If my baby sister hadn't STOLEN my soulmate we wouldn't be IN this fucking untenable situation."

I sighed while rubbing my forehead. It was just like Dawn to use a word like "untenable" even when stone drunk and bitching about her love life. "It's not HER fault. It's MY fault, if you want to blame somebody. I'm the one that went and fell in love with her."

"That wouldn't have mattered if she'd just do the right thing and give you back."

"She can't GIVE me back to you. Don't you see? I'm CHOOSING to be with her. It takes two people to be in a relationship here."

"And if SHE quit you then you'd HAVE to come back to me!"

"Doesn't work like that. It wouldn't work like that. We're done, Dawn. I'm over you. End of story."

"Bullshit. You love me, and you'll always love me."

"As a friend. As a childhood friend. But we're grown up now, and we make grown up decisions. You made yours when you decided to shack up with Jaron behind my back."

"It was a mistake. I'm SORRY for that. Can't you see how much pain I'm in over that fuck-up? I RUINED my life. I RUINED my perfect relationship with my soulmate, don't you see? If I could go back in time and make everything better I WOULD."

"But we can't go back in time. Everything in our past is a sunk cost, and all we have left is to move forward. I'm moving forward, and so should you."

"How can I? How can I move forward when everything I love is in my past? Don't you get it? Without you, I have NOTHING left to live for! Because she STOLE MY LIFE. She stole my husband. She's stealing my babies! OUR babies, Ben! Ours!"

"That's a life that's never going to happen. I'm moving on, and you are drunk. You should hang up the phone and get some rest."

"FUCK YOU!!!" A burst of static joined her exclamation, loud enough to make me think about thumbing down the volume once again. "FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!!"

Grimacing, I looked up at DJ, Brooke, and Adrienne, all of them staring at the phone and the ranting coming from it as Dawn screamed that two-word phrase perhaps a dozen more times. Eventually, she switched it up to "FUCK YOU AND FUCK THAT FUCKING BITCH!" And then came the choice "I HOPE YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARDS FUCKING ROT IN FUCKING HELL FOR THE FUCKING HELL YOU'VE PUT ME IN!!!"

It hurt a little to hear the anguish in Dawn's voice, but I felt my own rising anger at her vehemence. Just when she started to lose steam, I picked up the phone in one hand and started barking into it like a walkie-talkie. "You wanna know whose fault this is? It's YOURS, Dawn! YOUR FAULT! ALL YOURS! I LOVED you. I wanted to MARRY you! And you had to go and flush it all down the fucking TOILET by CHEATING ON ME! How the hell am I ever supposed to truly forgive THAT? How could I ever DREAM of trusting you again, as a friend let alone as a wife. Sure, maybe we'd be happy together for a little while, but at the first sign of danger I'd have to IMMEDIATELY start panicking about whether or not you'd step out on me. What kind of a life would that be? Huh?"

"I'M SORRY! ALRIGHT! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

"NOTHING! I WANT NOTHING FROM YOU! BECAUSE WE'RE OVER. IT'S OVER. AND THERE'S NO FUCKING GOING BACK!"

Dawn started crying then, and for a long while her sobs were the only sounds in the room. I looked up to find DJ, Brooke, and Adrienne all looking at me. And a moment later I realized the twins had dressed and were standing in the doorway as well.

"I'm sorry..." Dawn pleaded between sobs. "I'm sorry..."

"You hurt me," I stated quietly, feeling a shudder in my heart as I said so. "I don't think I ever explained that quite fully when it happened. The day you came home and broke up with me, all I could think about was not losing you. I promised you we'd work it out. I'd forgive you. We'd fix your issues, whatever they were. I'd have done anything for you, because I was afraid of losing you. But you didn't stay. You didn't work things out. You took off, disappearing across the country, and THAT hurt too."

Dawn's sobbing only got even harder.

"Even after that, I couldn't get over you. I tried ... really, I tried. I rebounded into other relationships. I tried to drown myself in fucking other girls. None of it worked. I still loved you. And FINALLY I got to talk to you again, only to have you say you were up and leaving me AGAIN!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't cut it anymore," I admonished severely. "You abandoned me to my grief, and it's taken a long time to get over it. I had to give up ... to give up on you. I know we talked about maybe fixing things in the future, that maybe our history would give us the cushion we'd need to figure things out together again. But you were just gone too long. I moved on. I found happiness. I found love."

"With my little sister."

"Yes. Because she's the right one for me. She's like you, but without your flaws. She adores me, and she's never hurt me."

"Yet. Maybe she will."

"Maybe everyone will, eventually. But she hasn't yet, and maybe she never will. I'm giving her that chance. I believe that we will last. I'm counting on our love seeing us through. Because I've moved on from you, Dawn. I'm over you. And now that I can cut through the haze of love that was blinding me to all your faults, I can see now just how BAD of a girlfriend you were for me. Talking me into all those orgies when I didn't really want them? Talking me into letting you screw other guys and making me watch? Really, who DOES that?"

"You made me watch you screw all those girls."

"So you could suck my cum out of their pussies every time. Face it, you got OFF watching me fuck other girls, while I always had to stomach my queasiness to see you with another guy. Maybe it's not fair, but that's truth. That's real feeling. You knew it, and you took advantage of me. You got to go buck wild and still have me waiting patiently for you at home. Until the one time you went and did it without my knowledge or permission. And even then you knew right away that you'd fucked up."

"I DID. Give me credit for realizing I'd made a mistake and not trying to cover it up!"

"But you DID hide things from me. You hid your inner turmoil, even while proclaiming me to be your soulmate. If I was your soulmate, why didn't you share with me? Why didn't you communicate with me, huh? I was the one person in the world who would have listened without judgment. I would have moved heaven and earth to help you out any way I could. But you abused my trust. You didn't confide in me when you should have. And you fucking broke my heart."

"And now you're breaking MINE!"

"Then we're even. Nothing more. I don't owe you a thing."

"BEN!"

"This conversation is over. Happy New Year, Dawn. Move on with your life. I do hope you figure out a way to show your face in the Evans family house again. Your parents and sisters would miss you otherwise. Until then, don't call me. Don't call your sister and blame her for YOUR actions and make her cry like you did today. She doesn't deserve it. She's done nothing but try to be happy, and she doesn't need you trying to undermine her. Leave us alone. Stop bothering the true family I'm trying to build here. Figure out your own fucked up shit. Until then, go the fuck AWAY."

And with that, I hit END on the phone.

I didn't need to look up to know that jaws had dropped all around the room. I was breathing hard, still worked up with a lot of residual anger flooding my limbs. Still naked, I stood up and felt like my pecs, abs, biceps, and quads had all swelled in size from rage-filled adrenaline. I clenched my hands, still staring at the ground, and felt like my body was visibly radiating heat.

I had to burn off this energy, and for a moment my head went to the obvious relief. Glancing down, I found that my cock was rock hard for some weird reason, and then I looked up to stare down all five girls in the room, wondering which one of them I'd take out my rage-lust upon. DJ, my loving fiancée whose legal job it would be to satiate this sort of need? Brooke, my wicked little sister who often got off on rough sex and certainly deserved a little punishment for her mischievousness from time to time? Adrienne, sex goddess personified who literally lived to let me have my way with her? All of them would take my cum and thank me for it, or so I believed in the state I was in.

How about Eden? She certainly wanted to go for a ride, and I'd give her the fucking of a lifetime that she'd never, EVER forget. Or Emma, sweet Emma? So innocent? So delicate? I'd fucking RUIN her, and it would feel so fucking GOOD.

But even in my rage, I knew that what I was feeling wasn't quite right ... not quite natural. I loved these five girls way too much to subject them to what I had in mind. Not in this state. Not in this kind of anger. Some hapless Tri-Delt, perhaps. Maybe Gwen Tannenbaum if she'd been within reach. But not them.

So I dropped DJ's cell phone to the bed and stomped out of the room. I went straight into the bathroom, locking the door behind me and then grabbing hold of my meat. Summoning all my anger, I pictured a naked Dawn bent over before me, wearing Adrienne's collar and leash and both blindfolded and handcuffed. In my mind's eye, I imagined all the pain I'd inflict on her. I'd spank her ass not in a pleasurable way, but truly intending to hurt her physically the way she'd hurt me emotionally, at least until I thought about Viktoriya's riding crop and I started thrashing her with that instead. I'd rut myself through her pussy, pounding that tight snatch with such speed and power until she couldn't take anymore. And then I'd pull out and ram my dick dry through her anal cavity, rutting away and ignoring her screams of anguish.

Somewhere along the way, I started crying. I didn't realize it at first, only opening my eyes when I felt wetness falling onto my forearms. I was still pumping my shaft in my right hand, my left hand bracing my hunched over body against the sink. But the tears wouldn't stop and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why.

In my vision, I looked down at Dawn's broken body, bound and blindfolded and covered with welts from the riding crop. I watched her sobbing beneath me, ass red and bleeding from my cruel rape, and I waited for the sense of victorious revenge I believed was my due.

But I didn't feel it. All I felt was sadness ... pity for Dawn ... pity for me. I mourned what I'd lost ... what WE'D lost. And I realized that as much as I hated her for what she'd done to me, she didn't deserve this mental rage. I surveyed the damage I'd done to her with my evil fantasy, and I broke down crying even harder. I put both hands onto the sink and lowered my head, shuddering with each of my heaving sobs.

And yet my fucking cock STILL wouldn't go down.

Traitor.

I couldn't stand this pain anymore, this mental anxiety or this mix of anger and pity and bitterness and sadness. My lungs burned, and I realized that I was hyperventilating. My muscles ached and I started feeling dizzy. And my brain throbbed so much that I couldn't figure out how to make ANYTHING stop!

On instinct, I burst out from the bathroom and staggered for the one thing I could imagine would numb away all this pain. Like... literally numb me. I went out the sliding door, and went past the hot tub that despite being turned off still had a lot of residual heat creating steam that gently oozed off the water's surface. I walked around it, going to the furthest corner of the yard where snow had built up against the fence. And heedless of anything but the anguish I felt inside, I flung myself into the snow bank.

It was painful. Like, REALLY really painful. Especially for my poor testicles. Really, sub-zero ice is NOT good for swollen nuts that were meant to have an ejaculation but never made it that far. Brings whole new meaning to the term "blue balls".

I remember screaming, but not much else. I don't remember how I got back inside, or who put me there. I remember regaining awareness beneath the covers of my bed, still naked but dried off and wrapped in warm blankets. Adrienne spooned me from behind, and DJ hugged me from in front. I started crying again, and then sobbing. And that's the last thing I remembered before waking up the following morning.

I missed the New Year.

-- SUNDAY, JANUARY 1, 2006, WINTER BREAK --

Everybody slept in on New Year's Day. I found out that DJ and my siblings stayed up until just after midnight watching Ryan Seacrest host Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve. They saw the ball drop and toasts went around, but the celebration was rather muted. I felt bad, realizing that it was my outburst on the phone that had killed the festive mood.

At least Mom and Dad had a good time, or so their 2am return to the house suggested. They slept in even later than we did, and only emerged from their bedroom after the rest of us had eaten nearly all the food.

But despite our late start, we all wanted to get in one last day on the mountain before driving home tomorrow morning. We picked up half-day lift tickets for Snow Summit and got in as many runs as we could, or at least most of us did. I was still in a ... melancholy ... mood, and sometime in the afternoon, DJ pulled me out of our next chairlift line and suggested, "Hey, let's get something to eat. You always feel better with a full stomach."

"It's alright. Our rendezvous isn't until 3pm. I can wait that long."

But DJ shook her head. "We'll get a head start and find a table, okay?"

My stomach grumbled on cue, and with visions of chili cheese fries in my head, I agreed.

About twenty minutes later, we had our food and our table. The group of six next to us was just finishing up, and we figured we could snag the extra space right around the time the rest of my family joined us. I hovered over my Gatorade bottle and wonderfully aromatic pile of food, still trying to wrap my head around my own mood while DJ snuggled against my side and did her perky best to cheer me up.

She was doing a pretty good job. When a snow bunny as gorgeous as DJ goes cruising across the snow in her form-fitting sky blue jumpsuit and blonde braids hanging down from her matching beanie, she draws attention. When the same snow bunny unzips said jumpsuit to combat the heat of the lodge dining room and shows off quite a bit of cleavage, she stops traffic and causes accidents. I noticed more than one slack-jawed snowboarder lose their balance or walk into an innocent bystander ogling the personification of female sexuality wrapped around my arm, and I have to admit it gave me a little thrill to know how much she loved me. And as long as this beautiful, beautiful person loved me, what was there to be depressed about?

And yeah, the taste of chili cheese fries filling my previously-complaining stomach helped quite a bit, too.

The point is: DJ didn't have to give me some mind-blowing speech or otherwise talk me into feeling better. She just had to be herself (and feed me a few chili cheese fries), and my mood was steadily improving. Our contentment with each other was quite obvious to all those around us, which meant that I didn't have to fend off unwanted suitors for my fiancée's attention. But it did draw the attention of the young pregnant woman in the party of six finishing up their meal.

"Honeymooners?" the brunette in the black and red beanie asked a couple of minutes after we'd sat down across the table from her.

"Not yet," I replied with a smile, holding up my ringless hand. "But hopefully soon. I just asked her to marry me right before Christmas."

"Ooh, lemme see the ring!" the brunette enthused, her eyes brightening.

DJ blushed and showed her ringless hand. "Sorry, but not yet. It was kind of an impromptu proposal, and we haven't gone ring shopping yet."

The brunette frowned. "No ring? You sure he's the right guy then?"

DJ giggled and hugged my arm even tighter. "I'm sure." She then pecked my cheek enthusiastically.

"Well, best of luck to you," the brunette offered before glancing up to see her husband stand up and grab several semi-empty trays from the table, readying themselves to go. "Meantime, a little advice."

I nodded. "Sure."

"WAIT to have kids," she sighed, patting her belly. "Or better yet, NEVER get pregnant."

DJ frowned. "Surely you don't mean that."

"It's HELL," the young woman sighed with a frown. "Pregnancy is the WORST. I've been miserable for eight months and regretting every moment of it. The first trimester it was morning sickness. Only it wasn't 'morning' sickness. It was more like 'all day'. Couldn't keep a thing down. Always hungry. Lost ten pounds in those first three months instead of gaining anything. And just when nausea finally started to lighten up, my hormones went all out of whack. I was always flushed and hot and sweaty – not a good thing to feel in mid-August – and I could barely sleep. You get itches in places you didn't even realize could itch, seriously. As for your husband, even though your boobs get bigger – although dear, I don't think you have any problems in that department – you're always too grouchy for sex. And then nobody's happy."

DJ squeezed my hand and glanced at me nervously. I squeezed it back and then regarded the pregnant woman across from us. "But everything passes."

"Eventually, but you never forget the misery. By the time that's done, your belly is this massive weight that you can never put down. It's impossible to find a comfortable resting position and you can't sleep because of the forty pounds sitting on top of your vajajay. And when you think of all that weight putting all that pressure right there, you find you can't control your bladder and you keep peeing in your panties. I've already gone through two pairs today."

DJ clutched my hand a little tighter and we watched the brunette exhale wearily. Looking a little more closely, I could see the dark bags under her eyes and the paleness of her skin. She really did look exhausted.

"I'm twenty-two, but I feel forty-two. And I wonder if I'll ever get my life back. Even ignoring all the demands of raising a child for the rest of my life, I've already got stretch marks in places I'll never want to see the light of day, so that means no bikinis for the rest of my life. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to work off all this weight once the baby's born, and no amount of crunches are ever going to get rid of this layer of blubber I've developed right on my pooch. I used to be hot; but from now on I'll have to wear mom jeans and my ass will never be the same again. Ughh ... I'm going to miss all my really nice clothes I'll never fit into again..."

The brunette sighed and glanced across the room, where her husband and another companion were still depositing their trays, and then she fixed me with a smirk.

"It's easy for the guys. They can keep drinking and eating sushi and do all the fun things like snowboard. THEIR bodies don't get all fucked up during this process. Me? My doctor says I can't wear high heels for fear I'll fall down. Snowboarding? Yeah right. I can barely WALK fast enough to keep up with everyone. They all spent the last few days just having a blast going up and down the mountain while I sit here all by myself wondering why the hell I bothered to come on this trip. And that's even just here, three hours from home..."

Shaking her head, she continued. "Eric and I used to talk about going on vacation, like backpacking in Europe or seeing the Forbidden City or something. But now it looks like we'll never leave America until our kids are grown up. Really, can you imagine bringing an infant on a fourteen hour flight? Air pressure fucking with his eardrums making him squall the entire way. No baby swing or grandparents to help, or even clean American restrooms? And what, you're gonna fill an entire suitcase with diapers and truck that out with you? No, once you get pregnant, life as you know it is OVER."

"Hey, honey..." The brunette's husband, apparently Eric, arrived and leaned over to kiss his wife's cheek. "Wallowing in misery again?"

"Giving sound advice to this young couple. Telling 'em NEVER to have kids."

"Babe, you wanted this baby more than anyone."

"Worst mistake of my life."

"Come now ... You don't mean that."

"Like hell I don't."

Eric turned and gave us a tight, somewhat embarrassed smile. "Due date is in two weeks. She can't wait to pop this sucker out." He then turned to his wife and rubbed her shoulder. "And then you'll see our little angel and you'll know it's all been worth it."

"Hmph. Fat chance."

Eric rubbed his wife's shoulder again, and then stood upright while holding her hands to help her up. The other four in their party were also getting to their feet. At the same time, I heard Emma call from across the room. "Hey, they've already got a table!" Perfect timing.

"Good luck with everything," I wished warmly to the still sour-looking woman.

She shrugged and replied, "Thanks. Sorry for venting. Hope I didn't ruin your day."

"Not at all," I replied easily, squeezing DJ's hand for reassurance. She nodded with me.

"But I mean it: Take your time, enjoy your lives. You two are plenty young enough to have kids when you're older. Dead serious."

"C'mon, honey..." Eric tugged her hand. "Stop scaring the little ones."

DJ was a little quiet during our late lunch, and I asked if the bitchy pregnant lady had scared her off. But after a 'well sorta' waggle of her head and widening of her eyes, she shrugged and replied that the horror stories were nothing she hadn't heard before. She quickly returned to her bubbly self and we soon returned to racing up and down the mountainside.

Thing is, I got the sort of vibe that DJ was more spooked than she let on, and was trying to play off her feelings like they were no big deal. But perhaps because of that contentious phone call last night, I was hyper-sensitive to my fiancée's moods. The LAST thing I wanted was to have a repeat of Dawn: for DJ to pretend she was "fine" when she was actually going to pieces beneath the surface. So I went out of my way to reassure DJ that I was here to support her and probably asked one too many times whether or not she was really okay.

"I'm fine. Really. Now stop harping on me before I start to wonder whether or not YOU'RE worried about surviving this pregnancy," DJ insisted with wrinkled nose and a mock-annoyed expression.

I grinned and hugged her, nearly causing us both to lose our balance. My latest attempt to maintain open communication about DJ's true feelings had taken place on the chairlift up, but now we were off and at the top of the run, buckling our boots onto our boards.

"Well, if there's one good thing about YOU worrying about ME," DJ said with a smile as she pulled her goggles on. "It's that you seem to have forgotten completely that you were in a funk before."

"Huh..." I thought about that. Truly, it seemed that the best way to get me over whatever was bothering ME was to have someone ELSE I cared about need my attention. I'd have to file that one away for memory.

In the meantime, DJ smirked and took off, calling back, "Last one down is a rotten egg!"

I quickly gave chase.

Soon after that run, though, darkness began to set in and my family gathered up for the drive back to the house. Once there, we settled in for one last lazy evening. After nearly a full week on our ski trip, everyone was thoroughly worn out. Nobody felt like cooking so dinner was at a nearby restaurant. The evening was spent just relaxing in front of the fire. And even the girls seemed sexed out, as DJ and I had no late night visitors. We fell asleep in each other's arms and then quietly made love in the morning when we awoke. And then it was time to pack up and head home.

"Do you all have to leave tomorrow? It feels like we just got you home!" Mom exclaimed after dinner on Monday the 2nd.

"We've been here for more than two weeks already," I replied, leaning back in my chair. "DJ would like to spend some time with her family and friends too before going back to school."

Brooke jerked a thumb at me. "He's my ride."

Adrienne smiled and shrugged. "I've got a shoot lined up."

Mom sighed, gesturing at DJ. "Deanna gets to see you two all year as it is. Brooke could fly up next weekend. And Adrienne ... well ... well... fine."

I laughed. "You and Dad are going back to work tomorrow anyway."

"I just feel like I never get to see my kids anymore. And now you tell me about this job you've got lined up in Palo Alto and ... Michael, we're going to have to get transferred back up to NorCal once the twins go to Berkeley."

"Sure thing. I'll tell that to Peter tomorrow morning," Dad replied with a laugh, referring to his boss the CEO.

Mom sighed again, and then gave me and DJ a significant look. "Well, are you guys seriously thinking about a wedding sooner than later?"

I glanced at my fiancée and shook my head. "No, not yet. We talked about things on the trip and decided to take things slow. DJ said she's fine getting married even if her belly is showing, as neither of us is worried about what people might think. We'll probably do it before the baby comes, and we talked about having a small ceremony in June after everyone is out of school. But first things first: I'm taking DJ ring shopping once we get back up to the Bay Area."

"Well you'll let us know once you set a date, won't you?"

"Of course. You'll be my first call, Mom."

Momentarily satisfied, she finally sat back in her seat. "I'm just anxious, that's all," she explained. "In a few more months you won't be my little boy anymore. You'll be her husband."

"Mom, I'll always be your little boy."

"Perhaps. But as a married man, your priorities will have to change. Your first duty will be to your wife and to your child, not your parents anymore. I won't be able to boss you around like I used to."

I grinned. "Somehow, I think you'll still find a way. Meantime, I think I'll do my duty as a son and start cleaning up the dishes."

"Ha," Mom smiled and pushed back from the table. "You do that."

"I'll help," Adrienne offered, standing up and collecting plates as well.

"Brooke, you got a minute?" DJ asked, sliding back her chair as well. She stood and pecked my cheek, saying, "Girl talk. I'll see you later."

"Of course."

DJ then leaned in a little closer, whispering, "Much later. It's your last night with Adrienne, so go ahead and give her a proper goodbye."

My eyebrows went up, but it really wasn't such a surprise. After all, this was just the kind of girlfriend DJ had always been for me, and I loved her all the more for it. "I'll still save some for you."

She gave me a wan smile and then headed for the stairs with Brooke in tow. The twins magically disappeared once the chore of doing the dishes had been mentioned, and Mom and Dad were already heading into the family room.

"C'mon, Tiger." Adrienne bumped her hip into mine, causing me to do a balance check on the stack of plates and cutlery piled up in my hands. Her grin was all teeth. "Let's get these done, and then get ME done."

I thrust forward a final time, closing my eyes and throwing my head back as I grunted out my orgasm, feeling the delight of a quart of spunk flowed out of me and into Adrienne's still quivering pussy. My fingers tightened their grip on her shoulders, the nails leaving red marks that wouldn't go away for a couple of hours. My pelvis pivoted forward with my knees as fulcrums such that my feet came off the bed, all of my weight and energy being put into that final deep thrust. And I kept my cock buried at full depth down the gorgeous supermodel's vaginal canal, straining with my back and leg muscles while I spat out glob after glob of boiling cum into the deepest recesses of the most desirable pussy in the world.

"Ohhhh ... migawwwddd..." Adrienne groaned in response while she pressed her right cheek into the mattress beneath her. A small puddle of drool darkened the sheets, and a quivering from her lower lip eventually carried down across her body in a shiver as she recovered from her last orgasm as well.

Like a light bulb going dim, I felt the energy of my climax fade from me, as did the tension in my shoulders and chest. Releasing my tight grip from her shoulders, I slid my palms outward across the mattress and slowly lowered my chest onto Adrienne's naked back. And then I tilted my head to give her a tender kiss on her cheek.

She hummed happily and turned her face further so that our lips could meet. And with my cock still snugly embedded inside her, I brought my legs together on the outsides of hers while bringing my arms in so that I could wrap my entire body around her, almost as if we were spooning vertically.

Eventually, we recovered from our athletic shagging and my cock shriveled up, eventually popping free of my lover's pussy. I rolled off Adrienne and flopped onto my back, and she removed the pillow from beneath her waist where it had been supporting her so that we'd have just the right angle for that last fuck.

"I'm going to miss that," she sighed as she remained face-down right beside me. "I wish I could keep this part of you inside me forever."

"You could come back here and keep getting regular doses."

Adrienne gave me a wan smile before shrugging and folding her arms beneath her chin. "I guess. But then I worry that I'd start to take your presence for granted. As much as I hate missing you, I kinda... like ... missing you. It reminds me how much I love and need you."

"I'll always be here for you ... wherever here might be."

She smirked and then slid over to kiss me. Blinking slowly, she gave me a sideways smile and asked, "Sure I can't talk you into one more round?"

"I promised I'd save one for DJ."

"But we didn't finish the trifecta. You never came in my ass."

"I was quite satisfied with the two we just had, thank you very much. And technically, I never came in your mouth, either. The first one was a pearl necklace."

Adrienne giggled. "Still, we should take a shower after that round. What do you say I get on my knees in the water and use my breasts to soap your dick clean?"

I smirked. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

Adrienne beamed right back. "Yes. But I never get tired of hearing it."

"Let's go."

Adrienne did use her breasts to soap my dick clean (and most of the rest of my body too, for that matter). But she only asked once about turning around and having me stick it in her ass, respecting my wishes to save one for my baby-mama. And once we were dried off and wrapped in towels, we separated in the hallway so she could go to her room to get dressed and I went to Brooke's room to retrieve my fiancée. The night was still relatively young, and since this was our last night before driving back up to NorCal, I thought it would be best to join my family downstairs for one last evening together. DJ and I could make love before we went to sleep.

But the girls didn't answer the first time I knocked at Brooke's door. Arching an eyebrow in curiosity, I cocked my head, listening to see if the best friends were fucking each other, in which case perhaps I'd go downstairs by myself and re-join my family. But I didn't hear any moans or cries of ecstasy, only the low murmurs of conversation.

So I knocked again, more loudly this time. The girls apparently heard this second knock, and Brooke replied, "Hang on a minute."

"Uh ... okay..." I began. "Should I come back later? Give you two more time?"

"No," DJ replied. "Ben ... you should come in."

There was a strange tension in her voice, something that put my senses on alert. Whatever was going on in there, my fiancée wasn't in a good mood. And gently twisting the doorknob, I pushed the door open and stepped through.

Brooke and DJ sat facing each other on Brooke's bed, DJ against the headboard and Brooke on the edge with one leg dangling off. They were still wearing the clothes they'd had on all day, and right away I realized that DJ was crying.

"Hey ... babe ... What's wrong?" I swiftly went over to her, my arms open for a reassuring hug. But just as I got to her, she held a hand up in a clear 'stop' gesture, and even when I sidled onto the bed beside her, she pushed that hand against my chest to keep me at arm's length. I repeated, "What's wrong?"

DJ took a deep breath, staring at me through red-rimmed eyes. There was an apology in her expression, a stricken sadness and guilt that I'd never seen in her before. She glanced at Brooke for a moment, perhaps looking for some kind of reassurance, and my sister nodded while gesturing for her best friend to 'go ahead'.

DJ took one more deep breath, swallowed thickly, and then winced in another apologetic expression. "I'm sorry," she began quietly, staring right into my eyes. "But I think I should abort the baby."