56: The amnesia

SAM'S POV

"No one's going to disappear, Ms. Javier. Kung may kailangan mang maglaho sa huli, it should be that man and not you. Naiintindihan mo ba'yon?"

"... Naiintindihan mo ba'yon?"

"..mo ba'yon..mo ba'yon.. mo ba'yon.."

When those words kept echoing in my head, my eyes fluttered open and I was greeted with the pink mosquito net around me.

For awhile, nanatili lang akong nakahiga doon without even moving and just blankly staring at it without even breathing..

What was that? Ba't ko ba napanaginipan ang gagong 'yon? At sa lahat ng sasabihin niya sa panaginip ko, why should it be those words? Those reassuring words. Na para bang magiging okay lang ang lahat...

Nang tingin ko wala namang balak sumagot ang kulambong tinititigan ko ngayon, I blew out a deep breath and I was about to got up but I grimaced when a headache triggered.

Oh shit.. Ganito ba talaga kalala ang epekto ng inuming 'yon?

Napapabuntung-hininga na lamang uli ako and just got up while still clutching my head with a grimace.

"Good morning... I guess malala ang hang-over mo ngayon."

That made me turned to look at the doorway. And I found Bryan na nakangiting nakatingin sa'kin habang kibit ang mga balikat nito and leaning his side against the door frame. I tightly pressed my temple when I felt like my head was ready to split into two.

Yeah shit. Ang lala nga ng hang-over ko.

"Mukhang malalang-malala nga.." he continued with his voice obviously amused.

Obviously, kanina pa ito nagising dahil bagong ligo palang ito. Now clad with a clean blue shirt, a black knee-length short and a black pump shoes. No doubt, may lakad ito ngayon.

Pero anong oras na ba ngayon?

At that thought, I quickly glanced down at my wristwatch for the time.

Quarter after 9 am. So that's it! I have wasted a few hours just sleeping imbes na kausapin si Mang Doming. I'm sure Mr. Del Fuero was ready to explode in rage now dahil naging pabaya na naman ako.

Groaning, tuluyan na'kong bumangon sa maliit na papag na hinihigaan ko saka mabilis ng inayos ito.

"Kung nag-aalala ka na baka pinag-antay mo ng matagal si Mr. Del Fuero, don't be, Ms. Samantha.. wala naman siya rito ngayon.."

Hearing that news, I paused with what I was doing saka kunot-noong tumingin uli sa gawi nito.

"He's not here?"

"Ahuh.." he answered while nodding at me with a smile.

"Isinama siya ni tatay sa bayan pero hindi ko alam kung saan mismo sa bayan."

That made me turned completely to his way with my brows creases than ever.

"At ano namang gagawin nila sa bayan? Ganun na ba sila kaclose ngayon para magkasamang pumunta doon?"

"Maybe.." he answered with a shrug of his shoulder.

"Hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa nila doon. Ang alam ko lang ay kailangan mo ng kumain after you fix yourself."

"Fix?" I asked in confusion saka kinapa ang buhok ko and sniffed myself.

And yes, tama nga ito. Mukhang kailangan ko na nga talagang maligo because I stink like hell!

I glared at him when I heard him softly chuckled, shaking his head at halatang nag-eenjoy sa reaksyon ko. Tsk tsk tsk...

I can't help but smile at him apologetically.

"Susunod nalang ako sa'yo.. Aayusin ko muna 'tong higaan ko."

"Okay.." he answered with a smile as he straightened up on his feet.

Shaking my head at him, ipinagpatuloy ko nalang ang ginagawa ko but I stopped when he talked again.

"Ah by the way, Ms. Samantha. May I ask why you have a puffy eyes and a swollen lips right now? Allergic ka ba sa lambanog kaya nagkakaganyan 'yan ngayon?"

"Namamaga?" Litong tanong ko rito saka kinapa ang mga mata at labi ko. Then I frowned when it was indeed swollen which made me frowned more in confusion.

What the hell! Wala naman akong allergy pero ba't nagkakaganito 'to ngayon?

"Nadapa ba'ko kagabi?" Wala sa sariling tanong ko sa sarili ko with furrowed brows. Trying to fumble a reason in my mind.

"Kung 'di mo natatandaan, nauna akong umuwi sa'yo kagabi so I have no idea kung ano talagang nangyari sa'yo kagabi, Ms. Samantha."

When I heard that, all I could do was just nod at him.

"Ganun ba.." tanging sagot ko na lamang rito while biting my lower lip. Now trying to remember everything that happened last night.

I swear umuwi na'ko agad kagabi right after Mang Kaloy had took his leave and I'm sure as hell na sa direksyong 'to ako patungo and then---

..."No one's going to disappear, Ms. Javier. Kung may kailangan mang maglaho sa huli, it should be that man and not you."...

When those words echoed through my head again, I bit my lips more harder than ever as my heart began to thud weirdly.

Bukod sa naalala kong pauwi na'ko dito kagabi, wala na'kong iba pang matandandaan kundi ang mga salita lang ng gagong 'yon. Just that! And why the hell I'd remember that when it was just a dream! A---

"Akala mo siguro hindi ko alam kung bakit gusto mo ng mawala ako ano? Akala mo siguro hindi ko napapansin yang kagaguhan mo! Alam kong mas gusto mong kasama lage ang malanding Gloria na'yon at yong barbieng kasama mo kagabi! Kaya naman gusto mong ihinto ko na ang kaso ko because you want me out of your life!"

"I am not-----"

"No! I know you are because you want me to disappear forever because I was just some annoying woman to you and because they are everything that I wasn't! And you prefer them because they were perfect!"

When our serious conversation of us suddenly echoed through my head again, napapakagat na lamang ako ng labi as my eyes widened in horror.

Holy shit! Don't tell me hindi lang panaginip ang lahat ng 'yon at talagang may nangyari kagabi that I couldn't even remember now???!

Oh-my-GOD!!! Sana naman hindi!!!

"May problema ba, Ms. Samantha?"

That pulled me out from my thoughts when Bryan had asked that na di ko man lang napansing nakatayo parin pala sa may pintuan habang kunot-noong nakatingin sa'kin.

Maybe Bryan could confirm my suspicion now. That all of that was just a dream and nothing but an embarrassing dream!

"Bryan, naalala mo bang umuwi akong mag-isa rito kagabi? Wala naman siguro akong kasama pauwi rito ano?"

That made him frowned and tilted his head to the side, as if he was trying to remember what happened last night.

Oh God. Please don't let him say I was with Mr. Del Fuero last night. Just please let those hazy memories be a dream dahil kung hindi, I would really die in embarrassment!!

I started to mutter a prayer, praying to every Gods out there na sana mag-isa lang talaga akong umuwi kagabi.

"Hmm.. wala naman siguro.."

I was able to let out a sigh of relief at that.

"Thanks God.."

"Pero ang tanging natatandaan ko lang kagabi,"

"What?" agad na tanong ko rito when he talked again. Now nervously looking at him with expectant eyes.

"Mr. Del Fuero had went out last night to get you from there the moment na malaman niyang naiwan ka doon sa cottage kagabi."

"W-What??!"

Now my eyes widened even more just hearing that piece of information.

Holy shit!!

Kung pumunta nga talaga ito kagabi, then isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito...

All those hazy memories kept appearing in my head aren't just part of my dream---but a bloody nightmare!

Now you're in deep shit, Sam!

"Oh by the way, Ms. Samantha.. pupunta nga pala ako sa bayan ngayon. Baka gusto mong sumama sa'kin doon.."

When he asked that, I just slowly nodded at him while still biting my lower lips in anxiousness. Quite disturbed with the fact na kasama ko nga ang taong 'yon kagabi at posibleng napagsabihan ko ng kahit anong maisipan ko because I was like that, I tend to talk everything na kahit anong maisipan ko kapag lasing na'ko.

Well, that's what Al had said pero hindi ko naman halos maalala lahat ng ginagawa ko once I'm too wasted enough to even remember everything.

"Okay. Mabuti pa bilisan mo nalang dyan dahil aalis na agad tayo pagkatapos mo. Nakahanda na'yong tuwalya at pampaligo mo sa labas so labs na muna ako."

Again, I just nodded at him, still loss with my thoughts.

Then with that, agad na itong umalis kahit na medyo nagtataka parin ito sa mga ikinikilos ko.

Now I'm dead.

...And you prefer them because they were perfect!....

When that echoed through my head again as if it was teasing me, I groaned amd slapped my forehead while cursing out myself.

Yan ang napala mo ngayon dahil sa kagagahan mo, Sam..

Exasperatedly, I blew out a deep sigh saka nagpatuloy na lamang sa ginagawa ko, trying so hard to shrug off those thoughts from my mind.

Nang matapos na'ko, lumabas na agad ako and headed outside. Diretso sa paliguan just a few meters from Ganzan's household habang bitbit ang malinis na damit ko and my hygiene kit.

Nadatnan kong naglalaba dun si Aling Loring, wrestling with all those mountain-high na labahin nito that requires a lot of muscles para matapos ang lahat ng 'yon.

Tsk, tsk.. if I will be asked kung anong gagawin ko sa mga labahing yon, I won't even hesitate to throw all that to the sea.

"Oh inday? Buti naman nagising kana. Maganda ba ang naging tulog mo? Kumusta nga pala ang pakiramdam mo ngayon?" Came her questions pagkakita nito sa'kin na palapit na rito.

"Okay lang aling Loring. Medyo masakit lang 'tong ulo ko but I know I'll be fine maya-maya lang..Maliligo na muna ako." I answered with a small smile.

When she returned my smile and nodded at me, pumasok na'ko agad sa maliit na paliguan. A small washroom na gawa sa kahoy ang dingding. May puting tuwalya ng nakasabit sa loob nito at mga balde ng tubig gaya ng sabi ni Bryan.

I quickly took off my clothes then do all my necessities with hasty moves. Masyadong marami ng oras ang nasayang ko sa trip na'to. I have to talk to Mang Doming ASAP dahil baka kung anong malaman ng del Fuero na'yon at di pa sasabihin sa'kin. That would be a big NO, NO for me!

I was just about to dry myself up with the towel when I heard Aling Loring talked.

"Mukhang lasing na lasing ka talaga kagabi 'day ba? Patay-tulog ka na nga nang umuwi ka rito.."

That made me halted from drying myself saka kunot-noong dumungaw rito sa labas.

"Patay-tulog po? Anong ibig nyo pong sabihin?"

"Ay naku 'day! 'Di mo na ba maalala? Buhat-buhat ka kaya ni sir Cameron pauwi rito kagabi---"

"ANO PO???!"

She suddenly chuckled nang bigla ko na lamang na isigaw 'yon with eyes almost ready to roll down to the floor and back to the time last night because heck! How the hell did I get into his arm nang hindi ko man lang alam? WHY??!

"Akala ko nga ano ng nangyari sa'yo. Lasing na lasing ka lang pala.."natatawa pang pagpapatuloy nito.

Oh yeah. Lasing na lasing nga'ko. Too wasted that couldn't even clearly remember kung ano talagang nangyari kagabi. Oh my God! I don't think I could still face him pagkatapos ng mga kagagahang ginawa ko kagabi!

"Panay pa nga ang hikbi mo kahit tulog na tulog kana inday... May problema ka ba kaya ka naglasing kagabi?"

"Hikbi?"

Now that made me frowned at her in confusion.

"At ba't naman ako humihikbi, Aling loring eh di naman ako umiiyak---" I halted when suddenly, I remember my swollen eyes.

"Oh my! Mukhang umiiyak nga'ko kagabi.." naibulong ko na lamang sa sarili ko while mentally slapping my forehead again.

"Aba malay ko kung bakit ka umiiyak 'day. Baka naman may naalala ka lang na problema kaya ka nagkakaganun. Di mo ba matandaan?"

"Hindi po.."

Just a few embarrassing scenes..

But why did I cried then? Okay. That explains why I've got a puffy eyes now. But what about my swollen lips then? Could it be possible na nadapa ako ng bonggang-bongga kagabi so I cried?

That made me nodded my head in agreement, considering that thought.

That made sense then.

When I come up with that conclusion, para akong nabunutan ng tinik and I was able to breath normally again.

"Baka nadapa lang po ako kagabi aling Loring kaya naman namaga tong labi ko ngayon at umiiyak ako kagabi."

"Nadapa? Buti naman hindi nasugatan yang bibig mo kung ganun man.."

I mentally nodded my head at that, agreeing with her.

"Yes po. Siguro hindi naman masyadong matigas 'yong nalandingan ng labi ko kaya naman hindi masyadong malala tong inabot ko." Masayang saad ko rito, now drying myself with the towel.

"Mabuti na nga lang talaga.. Maswerte ka kung ganun man."

Yes. Maswerteng-maswerte nga'ko!

I inwardly agreed with her as I vigorously nodded my head.

"Oh sya.. kapag natapos kana dyan, may pagkain na doon sa kusina. Ikaw na munang bahala doon huh? Tatapusin ko lang 'tong mga labahin ko.."

I just answered her 'okay' saka dali-dali ng nagbihis and then ran back to the house for my breakfast pagkatapos kong magpaalam rito.

Bryan was just outside, sitting at the wooden bench habang nagpapakain ng mga manok. With ninja moves, I quickly filled my stomach, brushed my hair and then wore my black jacket before I rushed outside.

"Handa na'ko. Let's go?"

Bryan had hastily got up from his seat then smiled at me.

"Buti naman kung ganun. Alis na tayo."

When he uttered that, nauna na'kong naglakad rito. Kailangan kong magmadali, baka maabutan ko pa si Mr. Del Fuero sa bayan. I have to be there kapag nag-usap na ang mga 'to.

Maglalakad lang kami papunta dun pero buti nalang, pababa na kami so the walk wasn't as hard as yesterday nung paakyat pa lamang kami rito.

And it didn't took us long to get to our destination. Parang hindi man lang ako pinagpawisan sa paglalakad namin.

Marami-rami rin ang naninirahan sa bayan na'yon kaya naman medyo maingay at magulo ito. Probably almost a thousand families resides in this place.

"Nandito na tayo."

That made me turned to him nang bigla nalang niyang sabihin yon sa tagiliran ko.

"Saan?" Maang na tanong ko rito before I turned to the two-storey building na nasa harapan namin.

May iilang taong nasa loob nito at may iba namang labas-masok doon. A flagpole sa harap nito and some papers were displayed at the bulletin board outside.

Then my eyes zoomed in at that large display right above the entrance of that building.

"San Isidro Barangay Hall" mahinang basa ko rito with raised brow.

"Ahuh. Nandito nga tayo ngayon sa Barangay Hall namin, Ms. Samantha."

Napapatango-tango na lamang ako when he had stated that.

"Ano palang gagawin natin rito?"

"Well, dito ako nagtatrabaho every weekends at may tatapusin lang ako rito sandali and after that, pwede na kitang itour sa buong bayan. What do you think?"

"Sure thing." I answered with a nod which made him smile again.

I just hope madali lang 'to because I don't think I could just stay here longer at magsayang nalang ng oras while Mr. Del Fuero was with Mang Doming right now. I'm sure as hell magagalit na naman ang gagong 'yon kapag nalaman nitong kung saan-saan lang ako nagpupunta.

"Good. Pasok na tayo." Nang marinig kong sabihin nya 'yon, I quickly followed his lead nang papasok na ito.

The place was...hmm.. nice. Printed maroon tiled floor, maroon flushed seats and a wooden receiving desk  right beside the door greeted us inside. A record book was on that desk.

Picture frames of different faces of people were displayed on the wall. No doubt, pictures yon ng lahat ng mga naging kapitan sa lugar na'to. May mga iilang opisina rin sa palapag na'to and a session room was at the far end katabi ng malaking hagdanan paakyat sa ikalawang palapag ng building na'to.

When Bryan started to walk to the office sa may kanan, sumunod na agad ako rito while still curiously disecting the place.

A 'Secretary's Office' was on that door.

"You're the secretary here?" Curious na tanong ko rito when he was just about to open the door.

"Parang ganun na nga, Ms. Samantha." He confirmed saka binuksan na ng tuluyan ang pinto.

The room wasn't as big as what I'm used to at Michael's office in our building. This is just enough for one person. A wooden table with an outdated computer set was on the corner and an old swivel chair was behind that table. Sa tabi naman ng upuang nandoon, A small metal cabinet rested there and a five-feet high book shelves naman sa kabilang gilid nito with books and files were meticulously arranged on it.

Mukhang metikuloso rin ang taong to ah. Very organized talaga ito sa mga gamit nito.

Di ko mapigilang humanga rito while checking those shelves.

"You can seat if you want, Ms. Samantha. O pwede ka namang magbasa ng mga libro dyan habang naghihintay ka sa'kin dito."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Gawin mo nalang yong kailangan mong gawin diyan. Lilibangin ko nalang muna ang sarili ko rito." Saad ko na lamang rito when he offered the vacant seat sa harap ng mesa nito. Then with that, agad na'kong naglakad sa may shelves nito then just curiously checked the stuffs there.

I didn't heard him uttered an answer. Siguro nagsisimula na ito sa gagawin nito. Kaya naman mas pinili ko nalang na pakilaman ang mga gamit na nandun. That's what I'm good at anyway..

Record books, encyclopedias, and useless foldered files. Just that. Mga ilang minuto rin akong pabuklat-buklat lang ng mga librong nandun and when I found it so boring, I placed it back to the shelves.

Okay. I guess I'll just seat then.

With lazy steps, I strode back towards his table then plopped down to the vacant seat na nasa harapan ng mesa nito.

"Nabored kana agad?" Tanong agad nito without looking up at me.

"Hindi naman..." Bored na sagot ko then just picked up some papers from his table.

'San Isidro Travel Map'

A photo of a certain mountain was on its cover page. Siguro ito yong pinakamagandang spot rito.

I couldn't help but just nodded in amazement just looking at it.

"Sample guide palang namin yan, Ms. Samantha. Hindi pa namin natatapos."

"Oh?" I asked with raised brow. "For what?" I replied when he had said that without looking up at his way.

"Napag-usapan kasi namin ng mga opisyal rito na ipromote ang magagandang spots sa lugar namin kaya naman ginawa namin yan.. hindi pa nga lang natatapos dahil naging busy kami nitong mga nakaraang araw para sa paparating na festival dito sa bayan namin.."

"Ohhh.. I think maganda nga yang plano nyo." I agreed at him with a nod of satisfaction saka binuklat na ang unang pahina nito.

'TABLE OF CONTENT' greeted me in the first page. The list of all the contents na makikita mo sa travel guide na'to.

Mount. Capistrano, Sukob waterfalls, Lambanogan at marami pang iba. I couldn't help but be awed with it. I didn't know na marami palang mga spots rito kahit mukhang liblib at maliit lamang ang lugar na'to.

Maganda nga ito but what caught my attention more was the yellow sticky notes ng nasa bawat gilid ng mga ito.

"BJGpg.1-3"

"MRpg.4-6"

"AVpg.7-10"

I frowned when I read all those notes, confused with it.

At ano naman kaya ang mga 'to? Why do they have these kind of notes? At ba't parang---

My eyes narrowed at it as I studied those notes closely, trying to decode those characters.

And the more I stared at it made me out of breath as my pulse began to quicken its pace.

Because heck!

This was just too familiar to ignore!

With held breath, I quickly fished out my phone from my pocket then tapped open the photo album and then to the photo na kinunan ko pa kahapon before even going to this trip.

The photo of that same note na binigay sa'kin ni Mr. Del Fuero noong nasa mansion niya kami.

'MJ.Bpg-206'

I compared it to those notes and yes, indeed! These codes were almost alike.

I think I'm closed to cracking this code now and I'm just a few feet away from someone na siyang nakakaalam kung ano ang ibig sabihin nito.

"Bryan?"

"Hmm?" Came his answer without even looking up from his work, oblivious with my reaction.

But bother. All he have to do is to answer my questions now.

"Alam mo ba kung anong ibig sabihin ng mga nasa notes dito? Mga code ba'to?"

"What notes?" When he asked that while looking up at me, I quickly showed it to him.

"Oh that? Note lang 'yan namin ng mga kasama kong gumawa niyan.."he answered with a shrug saka nagbaba na naman uli ng tingin, back to what he was doing.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Simple, Ms. Samantha.. bawat spot ay may nakaassign na tao na siyang gagawa ng article about that spot at kung hanggang saang pahina ang nagawa nila."

"Initials and page numbers..." I whispered to myself, still trying to take in what he just said.

"Yes. Kombinasyon lang yan ng mga pangalan namin and then the page numbers." He seconded with a nod before he talked again.

"Gaya ng isa sa mga notes diyan. BJG.pg1-3, ibig sabihin nyan ay Bryan James Ganzan from page 1 to 3. Like that."

Bryan James Ganzan from page 1 to 3... I repeated in my mind while giving it a deep thought as I tightly clutched my phone with me.

'BJG.pg1-3 and MJ.Bpg-206'

Hindi nagkakalayo ang mga code na'to...

Then could it also be possible that the first three letters ay initials din ng kung sinong pangalan and pg-206 was just simply 'page 206'?

I couldn't resist but consider that thought..

This time, the thudding in my chest intensified as excitement filled me.

I think I got it now! Malapit ko ng maintindihan ang code na'yon... And All I have to do now was decode that first three initials and I'm done with it. But first thing first, kailangan ko munang hanapin si Mr. Del Fuero.

"I think I should go find, Mr. Del Fuero now."

When I uttered that sabay tayo sa kinauupuan ko, he stopped with his scribbling and looked up at me.

"You sure you'll go now?"

"Yes."I replied with a nod.

"Alam mo ba kung saan posibleng pumunta sina Mang Doming dito?"

He gave it a thought first before he talked.

"Wala namang ibang sinabi si tatay kanina."

Oh no. Eh san ko na ba hahanapin ang gagong 'yon ngayon?

"Pero baka nakauwi na sila ngayon sa bahay, sabi naman nila saglit lang sila rito so---"

"Sige. Mauna na muna ako sa'yo, Bryan. Kailangan ko lang makausap ngayon si Mr. Del Fuero. Bye now!" Then without waiting for his answer, tumalikod na'ko had then rushed outside.

Kailangan kong bumalik. Mr. Del Fuero must know  about this dahil baka matulungan niya kong alamin kung kanino ang mga initials na'yon.

Calling him on his phone wasn't an option here dahil parang wala namang signal sa lugar na'to. Probably dahil sa  malaking bundok na nakaharang malapit dito.

But nevermind! I can run anyway.

With that, binilisan ko na ang takbo ko pabalik sa kina mang Doming. Ignoring the 'positive-one-million-slope' kind of stiff way back to sitio Mabundok. I was just too excited right now to even mind that.

It took me only a few minutes bago makabalik sa bahay ng mga Ganzan. Sweats kept falling on my forehead while gasping for air.

No one was outside of their house but I know they were inside dahil parang may mga boses akong naririnig mula sa loob ng bahay. And one of those voices was no doubt his.

Perfect timing!

Still out of breath, dali-dali na'kong tumakbo palapit sa may pintuan ng bahay.

They must be talking about----

"Hindi siya tunay na anak ng mag-asawang Romero, bata kundi anak ng kamag-anak ni sir Nickandro... Isang malapit na kamag-anak ng pamilya.."

My hand froze at the door when I suddenly heard that from Mang Doming. My feet stayed rooted on the ground as my breathing completely halted and my sweats kept falling on my forehead.

Kahit hindi man nila binabanggit ang pangalan ko, I know they were talking about me.

They were talking about my real identity....

A discovery that I wished I hadn't even known.....

~~~~~~~~~~~