What should I Do?

Min Yoongi POV,

"Yes, I think it's better than the previous one. We'll use this one", I said to one of our producers, Supreme Boi

I just finished re-recording my rap part for the song 'Song Request'. This song is my collaboration song with senior singer Lee Sora and Tablo.

I actually finished my part a few weeks ago, but after I listened to my rapping, I felt something was missing. So I decided to re-record my part.

"Ooh, I'm so sleepy," I yawned as I leaned back on the sofa in the recording room

It's 11:30 PM now, and I'm very tired. We just got back from Nagoya this afternoon and I haven't had time to rest.

"Go home then, we'll continue again tomorrow", said my producer

"Ye", I replied briefly

I closed my eyes, thinking of sleeping in the office tonight. I'm too tired to go home, I thought.

* Ting

There is a message, I still do not budge. Too lazy to read incoming messages.

* Ting

The message notification sounded again.

* Ting

Jeez! Who keeps sending messages ?!, I complained.

I opened my eyes and looked at my cellphone. There are three incoming messages from Sobi. Hhh, what did she want ...

👩🏻‍🦰 yeobo

👩🏻‍🦰 oppa

👩🏻‍🦰 yeobo, where are you?

I lazily typed a reply message.

🧑🏻 I'm at the office. Why?

Soon a reply message from her arrived.

👩🏻‍🦰 you still work?

🧑🏻 ye

👩🏻‍🦰 arasso

👩🏻‍🦰 Are you coming home tonight?

👩🏻‍🦰 to UN Village, I mean ...

🧑🏻 no. I'm going to the dorm

👩🏻‍🦰 oh

👩🏻‍🦰 arasso

👩🏻‍🦰 be careful then, and get some rest ...

I turned off my cellphone screen, closed my eyes again. It was very unusual for her to ask ...

Lately I'm a little annoyed with her because she told Tae about our marriage. So what if our marriage's arranged by our parents ? There are many couples out there who get married because they're matchmaking too. Did they all end up unhappy? Did they finally split up? Not all of them end up like that, right ?!

I was annoyed that she said that I was just playing with her. Hah! She didn't know what I can do if I'm just playing with her, I snorted irritably remembering what she said.

And what made me felt the most annoyed was she and Tae seem so close these days. While in Nagoya they always eat together, chat, joking and even laugh together. How annoying, I snorted.

"Suga ssi, your car is ready," My manager, Sejin, poked his head from the studio entrance

"Huh? Ye hyung", I replied

I rubbed my eyes then stuck my cell phone into my pants pocket before finally standing up and saying goodbye to my producer.

"Hyung, I'll go home. You better go home too ... see you tomorrow, hyung," I said, patting his shoulder

"Ye. See you tomorrow", he replied waving his hand at me

I walked limply down the deserted 7th floor hallway. Then entered the elevator to go to my car which is parked in the basement.

I immediately leaned my back against the back of the seat when I entered the car. Tonight, Sejin and I were the last person to go back to the dorm. The other members have been in the dorm since this afternoon.

I was so tired, I closed my eyes but I couldn't fall asleep. My head was full of Sobi. Why do I keep thinking about her at times like this ?!

"Hyung, can you take me to my house? I have something to do there ... ", I said suddenly when our car crossed the Hannam bridge

"To your house? Isn't it too late?", Said Sejin looking at me

"Gwaenchana. I'll stay at my house tonight. Our schedule will start after lunch, right?", I said looking at him

"Ye. Tomorrow we will have a meeting at 2 pm. I'll pick you up again tomorrow then", Sejin replied

"Ye. Gomawo hyung", I said while taking out the cellphone from my pants pocket

I'm hesitating, should I tell Sobi that I'm coming home? No need, maybe she's sleeping right now. I put my cell phone back in my pocket as our car entered the UN Village area.

Not long after, the car we were riding in stopped in front of the gray house.

"Hyung, Gwaencahana", I said when I saw Sejin was about to come down with me

"Jinjja?", Said Sejin, raising his eyebrows

"Ye", I said convincingly

"Arasso. I'll wait until you enter your house then", Sejin replied

"Ye. Gomawo hyung, see you tomorrow", I said as I got out of the car

I pressed the passcode at the entrance and waved my hand at Sejin before finally entering the house.

In the yard I saw a red Hyundai Kona parked in front of the garage door. I climbed the steps and pressed the password on the door handle. The door opened with a loud 'piip' sound.

"Who is that ?!", I heard Sofia yelled from inside the house as I closed the door behind me

"It's me! You haven't slept yet?", I asked as I walked toward the living room

"You said you weren't going home ...", said Sofia, standing in front of the stairs

"I changed my mind. You must be lonely without me ...", I said, dropping myself onto the living room sofa

"Huh? In your dreams ...", she replied indifferently

"Oooh I'm so tired", I muttered while yawning

"Go to sleep ...", she said from the kitchen

Then I smelled something good.

"Did you cook something?", I shouted at her

"Ye", she replied briefly

My stomach was rumbling. I sighed and headed for the kitchen. I saw Sofia bringing the pot to the kitchen table.

"What is that?", I asked sitting at the kitchen table

"Ramen. I'm craving for ramen," Sofia replied as she opened the lid of the ramen pot and moan happily

I glanced at her while frowning. What was that? Why did she make such a sound when she looked at the ramen? What a freak, I thought.

"Thank you for the meal ...", she said before starting to eat the ramen in front of her

I watched her slurp the ramen exitedly. I swallowed my saliva, wanting to taste it too. Then I walked to the kitchen drawer and took out a chopstick.

I took the lid of the ramen pot that was lying on the kitchen table and took some ramen from the pot.

"What do you want?", Sofia said as she took my chopsticks away from her ramen pot

"I want it too", I replied

"Ani. Make it yourself", she said trying to keep my chopsticks away from the pot

"Aigo, you are very stingy. How could you bear to see your husband starve?", I replied with pleaded face

"Aish, unbelievable," she said sullenly, but she shifted the pot so I could join her for a meal

"Gomawo yeobo", I said while showing my gummy smile

"Huh? Don't call me 'yeobo' ... just call me Sobi or Sofia", she said shaking her head

"Yeeee~", I replied impatiently

I started taking the ramen from the pot and slurping it.

"Woaah mashigetta (delicious)", I said closing my eyes while slowly chewing the ramen

"Haven't you had dinner yet?", She asked looking at me

"I only ate two bananas for dinner. I was too busy recording the song earlier," I replied remembering

"Jinjja?", Asked Sobi a little surprised

"Ne. Gwaenchana. I'm used to like this. I should have started dieting again tomorrow, because I ate too much at the concert", I replied while chewing more ramen

"It must be difficult, your schedule was crazy. But you still have to stick to a diet, even though the calories you spend during the concert must be a lot", she said sympathetically

"You see, your husband is a hard worker. So you have to support me, always", I said looking at her

"Ye. Btw, Yeobo, are you still mad at me? You're like staying away from me these few weeks", she said suddenly

I did not answer it, I was still busy sipping ramen in front of me with enthusiasm.

"You're being very cold lately even a little harsh. You look different when you're at home", she said curiously as she put down her chopsticks and turned her body towards me

"I told you, I don't like when we have to work together. And a few weeks ago I saw you talking with Tae in the car park. Hah! How could you tell him about our marriage?! You also spend your time with Tae and Jimin so often, you think I don't pay attention to you ?? ", I said irritably, waving my chopsticks

She did not seem to feel guilty at all, instead she seemed to be holding back amused hearing my annoyance.

"So you eavesdropped on our conversation ?! Are you jealous, yeobo?", Sheasked, holding back his smile

"Huh?? Ani! How could you talk recklessly like that?! I've never been jealous. I don't have any feelings for you, why should I be jealous. I just don't like seeing you close to other men. How do other people think when they see you like that?Waah, you are unbelievable ... ", I said sulking

"It's good if you're not jealous. Besides, I'm just friends with them. I've never flirt with them. I'm not like you! You flirted with other women in front of your own wife!!", Said Sobi, sulking too

"Then why do you tell about our marriage to Tae if you don't want to flirt with him?", I said again with a slightly high tone

"I'm just telling him that my marriage is not like others. Besides, I'm telling the truth, we really don't have feelings for each other, right? And you said yourself that you would let me go if I found my true love! And the most important thing is I never ever mention your name?! ", she said speaking quickly, her face slowly turning red

"But it's still the same. Do you think our relationship will end someday? Did you never think that maybe our marriage will work out?", I said sharply

"How can it work? We don't love each other, in fact we always fight like this every time we're together", she replied with teary eyes

I snorted and put my chopsticks on the table loudly. I saw Sobi flinch at the loud voice.

"Fine! Do whatever you want then. Find a boy you love out there. I'll keep my promise. I'll let you go when you've found that man", I said sharply

Then I left the kitchen leaving her in her place. I'm really upset right now. I slammed my bedroom door and walked back and forth in front of the window.

Why is it always like this? At first we were fine, then suddenly we had an argument. Can't she really open her heart to me?. And she said I'm jealous? Seriously?? I was just annoyed that she was close to another man, nothing more.

I ruffled my hair in frustration. I shouldn't have come home, I thought irritably. If I knew that it would be like this I wouldn't have come home to meet her.

I sat at the end of my bed, looking at the city of Seoul, which is sparkling with lights. Do I always have to be the one left behind? She used to leave me when we were young, and it broke my heart. It affected me every time I want to have relationships with other women.

And now, she said she would leave me again when she found her true love. I rubbed my face trying to forget the bitter memories of 12 years ago when she left Daegu. But the more I tried to forget about it, the clearer the memories became, as if they had just happened a while ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flash back,

Mid of May 2006,

"Oemma, I'm home !," I shouted from the entrance, announcing my return to my mother

I took off my shoes and put my school bag in my room. Why is it so quiet?, I thought.

"Oemma? Where are you? I'm home ...", I repeated

I walked to the kitchen, but still could not find my mother.

"Oemma? I'm hungry ..", I shouted again

I walked to my parents room and was surprised to see my mother was crying alone.

"Oemma, what's wrong?", I said over to her

"Yoongi~aah, they left. They have gone ..", my mother sobbed

"Huh? Who? Who left, Oemma?", I asked, confused

"Aunt Jen and Sofia ...", she sobbed again

"Sobi?? ...", I repeated staring in shock at my mother who was still sobbing

"Ne ...", said my mother, wiping the tears from her face

Without saying anything, I immediately ran as fast as I could to the outside of the house. I didn't answer when I heard my mother calling out my name. I have to see with my own eyes, is it true that they have left ...

I ran into the Han family's yard. Maybe they're still inside. This house has always looked quite like this since Uncle Han's death two months ago, I thought.

"Sobi! Sobi! Are you inside? Sofia? Han Sofia? Aunt Jen? It's me, Yoongi. Are you in there ??", I shouted as I knocked on the doors and windows of the Han family's house

I peeked through the window, there's no one inside. No way ... no way Sofia have left, right? She promised to always be with me. She promised to be my bride when we grow up.

"Aunt Jen ?? Please open the door, please", I repeated, there was a panic in my voice this time

I ran around the house to the back door. And was relieved that the door wasn't locked. I kept calling them while checking the whole room.

The furniture in this house is still in the same place. I looked around the living room, the place where Sobi and I used to spend our time together. Nothing has changed, only the books we used to read are out of place, leaving a large, empty bookshelf on the wall to the right. The photos that are usually displayed fill the entire drawer table, not a single one is left at this time.

And there, in a far corner, I saw a brown wooden piano standing alone abandoned by its owner. I walked over to it and slowly touched my hand on its dusty keys.

I've lost her, I've lost Sofia forever. Just like the piano that Uncle Han had left. I felt my tears slowly dripping, then I squatted in front of the piano while sobbing.

How could they leave? How could Sofia leave me ? All of my fears since the accident have come true.

I didn't expect things to turn 180 degrees like this. Several months ago, the talk of our marriage sounded very pleasant to me. I always imagined that that little girl would become my bride one day.

But after the accident happened, that dream seemed to be taken away from me. Uncle Han died, Sofia was badly injured, and Aunt Jen looked like she's not herself anymore.

I remembered visiting Sofia in the hospital and begging her to wake up to me. I was very scared at that time, afraid that I couldn't see her smile again, afraid that I couldn't see the light in her eyes again, I was so afraid that I would lose her.

And now, everything has come true. She has left, leaving me alone here. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to her. Since Sofia came back from the hospital, Aunt Jen didn't let me see her. They always stayed in the house.

My heart hurt so much, it felt like crying no matter how hard it won't be able to relieve the pain. How about me now? What should I do?. It is true that people say, we only realize we love someone when she or he has left us.

I never once said it to Sobi, I never said that I love her, not once. I'm too embarrassed to admit it. And now that it's all late, I don't know where Sofia and Aunt Jen went. I don't know if I will be able to meet them again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present time,

I stared at the city of Seoul with a blank stare. What should I do now? Let her go or fight for our marriage?

My head was filled with such questions that I unconsciously fell asleep in this uncomfortable position.

—————————————————————

Stay safe and always stay gold, ARMY

Borahae 💜💜💜