BITTER TEARS

The fire burned aggressively, burning the wood almost instantaneously. The sky was cloudy, there was not a single star in the sky, and the darkness seemed to want to take possession of everything. In some few days, the snow season would come, so a devilishly cold wind made Jonah, Evangeline, and the worm man tremble continuously, and they were sitting around the fire.

It had been two days since Jonah returned to the circus. However, it was the first time the three had met to talk about their misfortunes. That conversation needed to be strictly between the three of them; no other circus freaks could understand their experience. Most of them had been out of touch with society for many years. They forgot how to be normal people.

They would be incapable of understanding human pain, even though they were beings living in eternal torment. Their suffering came from the soul, not from the body.

Shrugging their shoulders and looking at the nothing, the three remained inert. None wanted to start telling their story.

"The world is in chaos," said the three at the same time. However, each said it in a different tone. It was the same sentence but charged with a different kind of grief.

"That's not the world I remembered, the one I wanted to go back to," Evangeline said, her eyes had been flooded with tears from the moment she returned to the circus. Yet not a single one had been shed. She could not. She felt dirty, a real abomination. Every time she remembered what she had to do to get the soul, she felt how a hot hand was pressing all over her body and impeding her breathing.

I always lived a perfect life, but only after I died have I been able to open my eyes. There are bad people in the world. Society is rotten". Evangeline continued. "Women are in danger. They are used, like rags, articles of decoration. I feel sorry for those who live, and my heart breaks for those who will die."

Jonah and the worm man looked at Evangeline in surprise. There was deep bitterness in her eyes, and her face was disfigured by pain. She always looked sad and melancholic, but not so, never so disheartened, discouraged, languid.

"What happened to you out there?" Jonah asked.

"My dignity was stolen. A dead woman's dignity was stolen. How is that possible?" Expressed Evangeline with a small mocking smile.

Jonah and the worm man decided to keep silent. Evangeline looked very angry. At that moment, she was unable to listen.

"How did it go for you, Jonah?" asked the worm man, trying to change the subject.

"I agree with Evangeline. The world is in pieces. Monsters and humans are fighting to the death. It is so painful to watch." Said Jonah, crestfallen.

"Monsters and humans?" asked the incredulous Evangeline... then she added. "Humans are the true monsters of this world. They make and unmake as they please just for the fun of it..."

"Not all, some people have a pain as deep as that of souls in sorrow," interrupted the worm man. "You must not measure them all with the same yardstick."

"You say that because you had a good experience." Expressed Evangeline mockingly.

"I could have had a terrible experience, but I was able to emerge victorious thanks to some peasants who rescued me and took care of me."

"And what did you do to thank them for such an act of kindness?" Evangeline asked.

"I tricked them into signing a pact with Lucifer..."

"You are a fucker! Don't you dare talk about kindness when you do things like that?"

"Don't judge me, woman! You would do anything to get out of this hell." Shouted the worm man, he was beginning to get angry. His actions were well justified.

"Calm down, please. I have something important to tell you," said Jonah, lowering his voice.

"Says the man who recently said that it was stupid to try to get out of here. Now you have hope and are willing to do anything to get out of here. I don't believe you," yelled Evangeline.

The worm man didn't know what he had done to unleash Evangeline's fury. He was going to say something, but when he looked at the girl, she was completely red. Her eyes seemed to be about to come out of their sockets.

"Don't you dare defend the people who pretended to want to help me... to sully me, to beat me, to rape me. Out there I was brutally raped by three men who made fun of me. They laughed while I cried, they were happy, while they sucked up my last shred of hope". Evangeline was going to be quiet, but she had not yet finished removing all the affliction she carried in her womb.

"That was not the worst of it. Destroyed, I had no choice but to sell my already withered body for a soul. A decrepit old man, full of lust, decided to trade his soul for a night with me. The woman is only worth for her body? It is the only thing she had to offer?"

Jonah and the worm man tried to calm Evangeline, but it was not possible. The pandora's box that Evangeline was carrying had been opened.

"Ahhh! I am so angry with God! I was always a good person, I never hurt anyone. Why should I be the owner of such a cruel fate? Why do I allow this to happen to me?" Evangeline wanted to cry and have all the impurities of her soul washed away with her tears. However, her tears were still stagnant at the edge of her eyes.