Ch. 183 How to burn a witch

*Crash*

*Smash*

*Bang*

"IT BURNS! IT BURNS! WHY DOESN'T THE FEELING STOP?! PLEASE MY LORD, HELP THIS SERVANT!" Was what could be heard from a woman's shrieking has she tore up her room due to the pain she felt.

Those who heard the frenzied yells and the sounds of the room being torn apart knew not what to do, but decided they did not want to stay close in case they became the next broken thing in that room.

-Bellatrix POV

The constant burning just doesn't stop!

It started out small. A slight warmth i could feel every time I casted a curse at those incompetent fools or those filthy muggles and mudbloods.

I thought it was simply my desire to please my lord and the euphoria I felt completing his orders. The shiver of excitement when he praises me, the joy of being acknowledged by him, and now this warmth as I followed his teachings, these were my rewards for my devotion as I crushed the filth.

But now all I feel is that constant burning. Like my soul itself is being devoured by Fiendfyre. Like my entire body is covered in flames which do not harm me, only letting me feel the pain.

I have experienced being crucio'd. Oh yes, mummy and daddy dearest did not spare the rod on little Bella when they were grooming her. No she needed to be better, stronger, faster, more powerful. She needed to be the weapon of the family, to be the witch which would make the wizarding world fear the family. And what better motivation to use than pain when driving a little Bella?

They were not the only ones to do so, Rodolphus enjoyed seeing me squirm. That pathetic excuse of a mongrel hated that he was weaker than me, the way I looked down on him for his meager intelligence and finances, and how I rejected and suppressed him during our time in Hogwarts. This stopped once in gained the lord's favor and became his hand however, from then on I was the leader. And was it ever satisfying to enact my revenge on the fool after I felt that damnable contract being cancelled.

But now it was different. Crucio could only make me feel pain of the body. It could not attack the mind like my lord could, even if the pain that legilimency dealt could drive one to madness. I knew that very well. And it could not make me feel the pain I am under now.

It felt like my very soul was being burnt. Like my very self is slowly being eaten away under the excoriating pain.

I could resist torture. My dear parents saw to that personally. I could withstand my mind being broken into thanks to my lord's teachings. But the feeling of my soul being slowly burnt was unbearable.

From that warmth I could feel every time I casted dark magic, it slowly started itching, then it felt like I was always hot, some slight aches, twinges of pain, constant low levels of pain then started but I could not burden my lord for such trifle, and only when the pain became too much to ignore did I consult him.

But he did not know what sort of Dark Magic I was under.

My lord, the man I worship and the one who knows the Darkest of arts best, did not know. He said he would consult his tomes for me and call that damnable slippery half-blood Snape to have a look at me. But the only thing they could hypothesize was that someone with a great grudge might have put a very powerful curse on my very soul. A ritual built on dozens of bodies to torture or kill me because of some filth I had killed.

I trusted my lord without fault and believed he would save me from this torment, but a part of me had a different thought. A part of me I had thought gone, the calm and collected Bella who could dismantle a spell and reconstruct it into a deadly weapon, she made me remember the face of that half-blood welp. The one who made me feel helpless and broke my wand.

His face was handsome for someone with muddied blood, but I remember his the smile on his face, the same type of smile I have when a prey I've been hunting for was finally in my grasp. I also remember his blue eyes, but not because of the power behind them, no it was the cold and sadistic anger he had when he looked at my helpless form when I was at his mercy. Then that logical part of me remembered the small blue flame which he put in me, the same thing in felt like my entire self should stay very far away from.

These thoughts made me think.

'Is my lord wrong? Is my suffering truly because of Dark Magic?' I thought in a moment of weakness.

But no. I must never doubt my lord. He is the only thing which matters in this world.

I will overcome this trial and return to his side.

Only at his side am I needed.

Only he sees me.

But it burns so much, hurry and free me once again my lord.

-Harry POV, in the middle of a pile of books with his friends.

I finally know why Voldemort is my enemy.

It was like some weight was lifted off my shoulders when Professor Dumbledore and Aedan explained the prophecy to me.

I also knew why he personally came and took my parents from me.

Don't get me wrong, Sirius is great and Aunt Amelia tries really hard to make me feel safe, but it always feels like there's a small something missing. I think it's Sirius' guilt and lack of fatherly features. He tries to hide it, but I can tell, I became very good at reading negative emotions when I was younger. He's great, but he's more like an uncle. But they still try and that's all I need to feel warm with them. Plus it's great to have a friend like Susan nearby when Sirius tries to be romantic with Amelia.

But yeah, 'Either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.' That was heavy.

It means that I have to kill Voldemort. It's not Professor Dumbledore or Aedan, both of them could probably do it too, but it has to be me.

I understood why they both didn't really want me to know because when that was said, I felt like someone was pranking me.

Who would honestly believe that a teenager or child is the only one who can kill the most terrible Dark Lord of modern times? But there it is, from people I know and trust, I had to be the one to do it.

It kinda makes sense why Aedan tried so hard to train me on how to really fight instead of having me join his dueling club. I am really thankful he went through the trouble though. Can you imagine if I was never taught how to fight properly and had to run around with half baked knowledge as I try to stop Voldemort? It would be mental. Good thing Aedan is really good at teaching and made me take school seriously while also showing me how to manage my time so I can have fun too.

But it was hard to accept that this prophecy our weird Divination Professor told is the reason for why my life has been like it is.

Someone loyal to Voldemort half heard the prophecy and rushed to him after they heard that a baby born at the end of June would defeat him. But he had to be born from someone who fought against him three times. And from all the magical babies born that fit the criteria, it was only me and Neville. So in the end Voldemort decided to attack me personally and send Bellatrix and Barty Crouch jr to go for Neville. The results were my parents dying, Voldemort losing his body, me getting my scar, Neville's parents going insane, and the end of the war.

It was weird to hear about why my life is like it is, but it did bring some closure.

The headmaster and Aedan also explained that to defeat Voldemort we had to destroy his Horcruxes, something which I had apparently already started doing since the destruction of Tom Riddle's diary in second year. They don't know exactly how many he has, but they said they're working on finding out as much information on the subject as possible. Professor Dumbledore even said he would probably request my assistance for this during the summer, which feels good. I want to be able to help, to contribute something when people I know are fighting out there and this is my chance to help bring in someone who knows more on Voldemort's creation of his Horcruxes.

Although they did tell me about the person and apparently I would be helping to convince him by just being myself. Not sure how being me will help convince someone, but I am curious about the potion teacher and previous head of Slytherin. I hear he's nothing like Snape, but he likes meeting important or talented people instead.

But before all that, I have to get through these damnable OWL's.

I thought the older students were kidding about the difficulty, but it turns out that they weren't. The professors have been merciless lately, with Snape being crueler than usual, but Aedan's been less mentally stressful as he makes us learn by doing a lot of practical training to be able to properly cast spells in many different conditions. He even took us out to the Forbidden Forest for some experience in dealing with some dark creatures along with Hagrid as our guide. He said nothing would make the lesson stick better than having an extreme memory attached to it. A bit insane, but incredibly effective after students learnt what not to do very quickly.

Ron's been struggling with all the theoretical stuff since he's more hands on, but he at least knows a good amount for charms, DADA and CoMC since they're the ones we can be the most active with. He's hopeless for Divination, History and potions though. But he's not giving up on getting a high enough grade in potions since he wants to become an Auror later. I think that's brilliant and his family has actually been pretty supportive of it, especially his mum when she heard he wanted to work in the ministry, even if it's in a dangerous job.

Hermione I think might have gone a bit mental with her studying. She keeps saying she will become the next to earn an O++ like Aedan and his friends. Something which I believe she might be able to do, but Aedan had a different opinion which both confused her and made her want to prove him wrong. Hermione actually asked him how she could get that grade, but he decided to answer it by telling her what he believes the grades represent.

Troll (T): Completely Hopeless.

Dreadful (D): You at least learnt something.

Poor (P): You tried and could pass with some work.

Acceptable (A): Good understanding of all material so far.

Exceeds Expectations (E): Great understanding of the subject, but could use polish.

Outstanding (O): You've perfectly learnt what can be expected of your level.

Outstanding with distinction (O+): You're making the subject yours.

Beyond Outstanding (O++): You are beyond books and aren't bound by the views of others.

Hermione had a hard time accepting the last two. I don't think she understands his hint that to get those kinds of grades you need to look at the magic beyond what the books say. Aedan actually thinks Luna has the best chances of getting an O++ in charms due to her unique views, if she studies up on the normal way to describe magic that is.

I would know, he's been teaching me about it since I was turning twelve. I actually feel really confident going into the Transfiguration, Charms and DADA exams, CoMC and Herbology should be in the bag too, but I'm still feeling nervous about Potions.

Still, I want to show everyone that I'm not just lucky and that I can do more to help so I won't working hard.

'But that means I have to keep going through this unending pile of books.' I lamented with a heavy sigh.

"Is something wrong Harry?" Hermione asked with a concerned look as she looked away from the book she's read three time already.

"Just a lot on my mind." I answered wearily.

"Cheer up mate. How about we go for a spar to unwind a bit? Or go for a flight?" Ron suggested as a means of temporarily escaping studying.

"Exams are just around the corner, you can't just slack off." Hermione chided as she glared at the both of us.

"C'mon Miony, you know stressing out over this is going to do more harm than good. Let's have a bit of fun." The redhead countered with a smile.

"He's right. Plus i think trying some of this stuff for real would help a lot to remember it better." I added as I looked at our studious friend.

Under the eyes of her two close friends she could only fold.

"Alright fine. We'll go to the Exchange to practice charms and transfiguration, then the dueling club for some Defense Against the Dark Arts tomorrow." She said with a sigh of her own, but she smiled when she saw Ron and I celebrate our small victory.

"Then let's finish up for tonight, I want to be well rested for tomorrow's exercises." I said as I closed my book.

"With you there mate. You gonna stay Miony?" Ron asked as he started to put away his own books.

"You know what? Some proper rest sounds lovely." She answered as she placed a bookmark on her page and stood up as well.

Ron and I shared a small look of surprise as Hermione willingly stoped studying near exams.

"What? What's with that look?" She asked as she caught us.

""Nothing."" We simultaneously answered.

She gave us a look of suspicion, but we kept quiet as we all finished packing up.

'At least i know I'm not going to have to do everything that's coming alone.' I thought as we walked back to our dorm and remembered everyone who has supported me so far with a smile.