Chapter 15

"I've got the greatest collection of stupid bumper stickers and stuff," John Wayne said. "You wouldn't believe the stupid things people think they can say if they think they're being funny." He shook his head. "How can you have an intelligent conversation with someone if they only talk in one liners?"

Marilyn and I looked at each other. Ne raised an eyebrow and I responded with a microscopic shrug. We didn't know where this thoughtful John Wayne had appeared from, but it was welcome. Chastity had bailed on us and we needed everybody to pull together. I could have put the entire project together in my sleep, but that wasn't allowed. I was sure that my style was distinctive enough that Mr. Sheldon would pounce on any excuse to make trouble.

"I have a solid history of how we got where we are," Marilyn said. "The whole thing started with a headnote by a judge quoted by a reporter in 1819. It wasn't even the subject of the trial. There are lots of cases on both sides. I found some really interesting recent attempts to limit corporate power by municipalities. "

The two of them looked at me. I smiled and showed them my tablet.

I have an essay on the consequences of corporate personhood ready to go. When you want to read it, let me know and I'll send it to you. I have to admit that I used something I sent off to a magazine last year.

"You write for a magazine?" John Wayne said. "Cool."

I don't know if they printed it. I never heard back from them.

"Wouldn't you have gotten a check or something?" John Wayne asked.

It wasn't that kind of magazine. I sent it in in response to another article and sort of forgot about it until this assignment came up.

"Too bad it never got published," John Wayne said. "That would be totally awesome!"

I shrugged. At least it still came in useful. I put away my tablet and Marilyn packed nir books away too. I thought John Wayne wanted to say something more, but given that I was still receiving some really nasty emails from him I didn't want to hang around him any more than I had to. Marilyn said I should confront him, but we 'd been working together for weeks. I didn't want to suddenly ask him why he was sending random porn to me. It was just too weird.

We walked from the library to the front doors. I saw Chastity come out of the gym with someone I thought was another football player. I glanced at John Wayne to see what he thought of it and I could swear he looked relieved. Chastity didn't see us, but the football player did and he made a really rude sign behind Chastity's back. Given what I knew of Chastity it was probably perfectly accurate.

"Uh, see you later," John Wayne said and headed over to the station wagon that he drove to school. I would never have figured him for a station wagon guy. Pickup truck or sports car, but not station wagon.

Marilyn and I stopped for coffee on the way home. It had become a regular habit. Conversation was limited since I had to write everything on my tablet. The action of writing meant that I got to think about everything I said. That meant I didn't take any risks.

I was not only a pudgy, underdeveloped genius, but a coward to boot. I had the worst kind of crush on Marilyn. Sometimes I think ne knew it and carefully guided the conversation away, but ne've had to be a mind reader.

What was really strange was that I didn't know if I was attracted to Marilyn the girl, which would mean I was a lesbian, or Marilyn the guy, which would mean my mother had a much higher expectation of grandchildren. I didn't really care either way. All I knew was that I would look at my pudgy self in the mirror and try not to cry.

I had no problem imagining that Marilyn was attracted to either girls or boys. Ne never made any comments that lead me to believe one way or the other. What I did find impossible was imagining that anyone would be attracted to me.

The weirdest thing was that I was finding my solution in gym class. At first I hadn't really tried much to do any of the exercises Miss Philps assigned, but then I heard the cheerleaders talking about their work outs. They were doing endless sit ups and push-ups as well as other things that would have been suicide for me to attempt. These girls were buff, but it wasn't just a given. They had to work at it.

If cheerleaders could work that hard on something, then I could too.

It was a matter of huge celebration when I completed my first sit up. I swear the whole class cheered. It was the same with the push-ups. Miss Philps talked about how the muscle groups worked to together. I never knew that you had to work so many different groups of muscles, or that there were so many ways to feel stiff and sore.

I was changing in the girls washroom again, but Miss Philps had taken to randomly wandering past the door. We had plenty of privacy for changing, but none for mayhem.

What I didn't understand was that a lot of the girls just treated me as one of the crowd now. It was as if my feeble attempts to achieve their sculpted bodies made me one of the crowd. The only one who still tried to ride me was Chastity, but even she had given it a rest when one of the others told her she was getting boring.

When I said goodbye to Marilyn at the coffee shop, I'd go home and head up to my room. I took breaks from homework to do more sit ups and push-ups. I did arm curls with milk jugs filled with water.

I still wanted to cry when I looked in the mirror. Even though I could do twenty sit ups and push ups at a time, I didn't look any different. All that work and I was still looked like a chubby twelve year old.

I finally found the perfect solution.

I put my mirror in the closet.